Past couple of episodes

So basically I found the past 2-3 episodes to be both positive and negative...

Positive was Anirudh’s character, love love how he exposed Vanraj and Kavya in front of everyone, it was so funny to see them both (especially Vanraj) so scared 😂

But what I found negative was how Anu kept begging Rakhi to let Kinjal marry Toshu, and after twisting her arm to say yes she actually thinks Rakhi will be happy from now on 🙃... Lack of education or being a home maker is no reason to be this dumb at her big age 🤦🏽‍♀️

And also I thought one relatively fresh thing about this show was how Kavya was grey (with some positive shades) rather than black  but now it’s basically been confirmed that her husband is a good guy and Kavya is completely black/negative typical “woh” worse than Vanraj, how disappointing 🙄

Anupamaa of course insisted Rakhi quite a lot, but I wouldn’t say this is begging. And even if it is literally begging, then many mother’s often will do anything for their children. A lot of mother in our Asian countries beg money on streets, lots of women work as a maid and often for their children and husband. So what if Anupamaa begged Rakhi to say yes for the marriage. Just because she comes from a family with decent amount of money or stature does not mean that Anupamaa‘s limit as a mother is restricted. A mother will not care that she is rich or poor, she will do whatever she can to get what her children need. She will do everything in her capacity and Anupamaa did what she could.  

Also, the whole episode might have appeared negative to you. But the arguments Anupmaa made to Rakhi was outstanding. The way she highlighted that regardless all the money Rakhi has she is no different to Anupamaa. That they are both human beings who are mother who are in a similar situation. I think Anupamaa’s dialogues were beautiful. Anupamaa is a clearly teleologist - who is concerned about consequences. 

I don’t really understand why so many people look down on Anupamaa, calling her spineless and dumb etc. I really find it hard to believe that nobody takes her calm nature to be worthy. She can literally take an insult with a smile on her face and move on. Yes, Anupamaa maybe naive about Rakhi’s real state of mind, that she may still cause more troubles going forward. But Anupamaa is generally a person who likes to think positive and hope for the best. Since when is hoping for the best a dumb thing to do? As viewers it’s very clear to us that Rakhi is not going to be easy and its clear to Vanraj too (perhaps). But like Anupamaa said that as a mother Rakhi will want to do what’s best for her daughter and so she thinks that going forward she will be happy. Anupamaa’s lack of education or her status as a home-maker has nothing to do with her thinking as a mother or perceiving other mother’s. 

Anupamaa is not dumb. It is your thinking that someone burying the past, moving on and hoping for the best is a dumb thing to do. 

Originally posted by: ThePhilosopher

Anupamaa of course insisted Rakhi quite a lot, but I wouldn’t say this is begging. And even if it is literally begging, then many mother’s often will do anything for their children. A lot of mother in our Asian countries beg money on streets, lots of women work as a maid and often for their children and husband. So what if Anupamaa begged Rakhi to say yes for the marriage. Just because she comes from a family with decent amount of money or stature does not mean that Anupamaa‘s limit as a mother is restricted. A mother will not care that she is rich or poor, she will do whatever she can to get what her children need. She will do everything in her capacity and Anupamaa did what she could.  

Also, the whole episode might have appeared negative to you. But the arguments Anupmaa made to Rakhi was outstanding. The way she highlighted that regardless all the money Rakhi has she is no different to Anupamaa. That they are both human beings who are mother who are in a similar situation. I think Anupamaa’s dialogues were beautiful. Anupamaa is a clearly teleologist - who is concerned about consequences. 

I don’t really understand why so many people look down on Anupamaa, calling her spineless and dumb etc. I really find it hard to believe that nobody takes her calm nature to be worthy. She can literally take an insult with a smile on her face and move on. Yes, Anupamaa maybe naive about Rakhi’s real state of mind, that she may still cause more troubles going forward. But Anupamaa is generally a person who likes to think positive and hope for the best. Since when is hoping for the best a dumb thing to do? As viewers it’s very clear to us that Rakhi is not going to be easy and its clear to Vanraj too (perhaps). But like Anupamaa said that as a mother Rakhi will want to do what’s best for her daughter and so she thinks that going forward she will be happy. Anupamaa’s lack of education or her status as a home-maker has nothing to do with her thinking as a mother or perceiving other mother’s. 

Anupamaa is not dumb. It is your thinking that someone burying the past, moving on and hoping for the best is a dumb thing to do. 

Well if burying the past means continuing with someone as if they never showed you their true colours, then yes, that is dumb. I believe in forgiving, but not forgetting... in this case that would mean not actively seeking revenge against Rakhi or Kinjal, but telling Toshu straight up that he can’t marry Kinjal because like it or not her mom is a permanent fixture in her life, and she is dead against this relationship 🤷🏽‍♀️.

And the whole comparison of Anu in this situation to moms who take up menial work or even beg to get food for their children is so off (don’t blame you though, that is kind of how it’s presented)... 

Why is Kinjal an object that she is “getting” for her son because he wants it her? Why does Toshu behave like alcoholic or drug addict having withdrawal symptoms when he’s separated from Kinjal?? This is not love but dependency, and Toshu needs therapy, not Kinjal. 

Also, although her arguments were good, Anu’s “innocence” that she believes everything will be ok with Rakhi from now on is contrived and unbelievable, no lady of that age would think like that! Taking obviously bad decisions and hoping everything will go well is pretty dumb tbh...Ba and Vanraj are harsh but they are right that Anu is foolish, because she clearly is 🤷🏽‍♀️

Also presenting being “able” to tolerate insults from husband and in-laws with a smile as a great virtue is just regressive 😷

I kinda feel bad for Anu’s kids- harsh, mean cheater father and good but brainless mother

I am not sure if you have ever thought of it this way, but the world is NOT made of our characteristics. The world is regressive. It is dark and disgusting, as well it is progressive and beautiful in other parts. 

You say that my comparison between Anupamaa and other mother is off. Why though? What exactly is wrong with comparing mother’s from different end of a spectrum? Please provide details of your argument for why my comparison doesn’t work, just stating it is off doesn’t exactly do the job of justifying your point of view. 

And suppose that you’re right, one should forgive but not forget. It is possible to say that perhaps Anupamaa has forgiven Rakhi for her behaviour in the past, but hasn’t forgotten it. We don’t know what is inside’s Anupamaa’s head and memory. We only have access to what we can see or hear, but suppose that Anupamaa was a real character then of course it’s likely that she will not have easily forgotten what Rakhi has done, but decided to forgive her anyway for the sake of her son. 

and no one is perceiving Kinjal as an object. This is a new view you have postulated here. We know very well that Anupamaa is not the kind of woman to conceive Kinjal as an “object” that she must achieve for her son. That is not why she has been insisting that Kinjal should marry her son. It’s rather clear that it’s because she knows they both love each other. 

According to Jean-Paul Sartre, there is no human nature. All of our being-in-the-world is drastically different from one and another. We all experience our situations and their consequences differently. We all create different meanings. Study of Psychology has made it quite clear over the years that everyone deals with their life through different means. I cannot outline them all here, but there will certainly be a great deal of academic work that can make Toshu’s behaviour absolutely normal and expected. Some people are too deeply invested in love and that is okay. For over decades, we have had Romeo who killed himself for Juliet, there was a Majnu, there are still lots of people to date who probably do odd things for love. And if you’re going to say this example is off too because we are in a new world, I am sorry but you’ll have to say more to justify why Toshu’s behaviour is not reasonable. 

You say that It is not love. It’s dependency. So what is love? If it isn’t some form of dependency anyway? Don’t people depend on each other for their well-being and happiness? Don’t they sort of rely on each other to look after each other in health and sickness? I personally am not the type of person who wants to be in a relationship, have a family or children etc, but I can totally see that people in love depend on each other for several things.