Originally posted by: lovelycolour
Very well written and all questions are right , Not in a correct frame of mind cannot be the excuse for everything. Waiting for the next part.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting. Will try to update soon <3
Chapter 6: Broken yet Stronger
While Abir and Mishti were on their way back home, he asked her, “Are you happy after meeting your sister, Mishti?”
“Hmmmm.” Mishti just nodded and looked away. Abir felt weird with Mishti’s expressionless and dull response. He thought she would have been on cloud nine after meeting her sister. He thought she would have loved knowing that Mishri was so interested in knowing her and making a bond with her. He thought she would have jumped with excitement and shared her conversation about Mishri with him. He thought he would have told her how he felt she was “mini angry chorni”. Mini version of his chorni. He wanted to ask Mishti but he noticed they were close to a park. He decided to make a quick stop, relax and talk like old times.
Abir stopped the car and Mishti looked around curiously. She was surprised and looked towards Abir with confusion. Abir smiled. He got out of the car and walked towards Mishti’s side. He opened the door and extended his arm. “Let's spend some time.” Mishti nervously smiled and put her hand in his and got out of the car.
The park was fairly empty. Mishti and Abir just walked around for some time. Mishti was constantly looking around, lost in her thoughts. Abir was calmly noticing her. He understood she was probably taking her time to get it together. But her silence was slowly killing him. He wanted to know what she was feeling. He wanted to help. She looked a little upset too. Was she upset with him? Was she upset with Mishri? Would Mishri have said something that could have hurt her? He had so many questions. He thought to just start off the conversation normally again to see how she reacts.
“Nice weather, right?.” Mishti nodded to Abir’s question. “Abir….” As Mishti called him, Abir thought Mishti was finally ready to talk to him. He immediately looked towards her with hope. “Let's go home” requested Mishti. The little ray of hope he felt had disappeared. Abir understood that there was no point in going around in circles. If he wanted to know what was going on in her head, he would have to ask her directly.
“Mishti? Did you not like the surprise?” Abir held Mishti by her shoulders and looked directly into her eyes. Mishti looked away. Abir tightened his hold and asked her again, “Mishti, please tell me. Did you hate it?”
Mishti knew there was no point in lying anymore. She looked directly into his eyes. “I didn't hate it….” Mishti paused for a second. “But…. I didn't like it either.” Abir was shocked at Mishti’s statement. “I just wish you would have told me.” Mishti continued as she loosened Abir’s hold from her shoulders. Abir reminded her that he just wanted to surprise her and make her happy. “I don't doubt your intention Abir. I know that. All I am saying is I wasn't ready for the surprise. If you would have informed me, it would have been much better. I had no idea what to do. How to react. It was awkward. If you would have told me, I wouldn't have said no. I wanted to be prepared. That's all” Mishti tried to explain her point.
“I just thought maybe meeting your sister would make you happy Mishti. You have barely smiled after that night. I thought maybe..” Before Abir could, Mishti interrupted him.
“I know Abir. But I want you to understand something. This isn't some issue that you can fix with your bandage theory. I am all over the place right now Abir. Bringing her or anyone like that will not help. I am just trying really hard to gather myself and this isn't helping with that.” Mishti tried to clarify once again.
“And I want to help you Mishti. And I have no idea what's going in your mind. If you don't tell me, how am I supposed to help you?” questioned Abir helplessly.
“But I don't want you to help me right now.” Mishti was straight up about what she wanted.
“Why not?” asked a confused Abir.
“Because you will end up getting hurt Abir. And I don't want to do that. I know what I am doing. And I promise Abir, I will come to you when I need help. But just let me be.” Mishti begged Abir.
“Mishti! This doesn't make sense. How am I going to be hurt? And how is meeting your sister hampering any of it?” Abir was confused. He wasn't able to stop himself from questioning her anymore. He wasn't impatient but he just wanted some clarity to her thoughts. He wanted to figure out a better way to deal with this situation but he couldn’t. He stood there waiting for her answer. Mishti looked towards Abir. She knew he wasn't going to stop questioning her until he got his answer. She closed her eyes and sighed.
“Abir! When a storm hits, any normal human will try to save themselves first. They will try to save what they have. They don't try to build new things. Not even after the storm has passed. Because the first instinct of any human is to fix the wreckage that the storm left behind. It’s not to build new foundations.” Abir looked towards Mishti with curiosity. He thought he was understanding her but it still wasn't making sense to him.
“When I saw her…..” Mishti took a pause while referring to Karishma. “When I saw her, I felt like a storm hit me. A storm of all the memories. Everything….That storm came and passed but it broke me into pieces. Again!!” Mishti eyes teared up. Abir understood her reasons. He felt helpless. He wanted to hug her and was about to take her in his embrace but Mishti stopped him.
“Don't worry. This is normal Abir. This is what happens with me, all the time. And don't think that I am trying to avoid you. But I am trying to do something really hard to fix myself again. To stand tall again. And it's a draining process but I do it all the time…..” Mishti took a pause again and rubbed off the lone tear.
“You know what happens Abir when I look at those pieces of mine? When I look at those pieces and pick them up, it pricks and hurts. It feels as if they are reminding me that I am indeed one of the most unfortunate and unlucky girls.” Abir looked towards Mishti with shock. He felt like his heart was now breaking into pieces. He kept looking towards Mishti as she continued. “That I am the home breaker. That I will always have to fight for smallest happiness ever. That either circumstances or death or someone's mistake will always take my happiness away from me. That people will keep leaving me. That I will always be left alone or someday I will actually be left alone. Everyone will leave me...” Abir couldn't wait anymore. He just rushed and pulled her into his embrace.
“Please don't say that Mishti! You will never ever be alone. I am never going to leave you alone.” Abir tried to caress her back. Mishti stood still. She wasn't able to react.
“You left me too Abir.” Mishti’s voice cracked. She realized what she just did. Something that she scared about and hence was keeping Abir out her storm. She closed her eyes in guilt. Abir felt like someone just punched in his gut. He broke the hug and looked towards Mishti with guilt. He was trying hard to find words but he was failing. “Told you! That it will hurt you! Didn't I? This is why I was keeping you out of this.” Mishti covered her face with her hands and nodded her head in disbelief recalling her words again.
“Mishti! That was a …” Abir tried to explain but Mishti interrupted. “Mistake? Circumstance? I know Abir. But the fact is that it did happen.”
“Mishti you are my life! My life line. I just can't.. I won't do this to you.” Abir kept begging her to believe him. Mishti again tried to explain to him that it wasn't about the trust. It was the fear that cropped up every time a situation like that arose. The fear that she always tried to gulp down in various events. The fear that rains like a storm every time such an event occurs.
“My family always said the same thing. They always said that I was their life line. Always said that they would never ever send me away. And look where I am. I am not trying to compare you with them or I am not trying to say that I don't trust you… But it's just similarities and cycles in my life Abir.. Taiji was my keeper in that house. She died and my life with that family fell apart. Badi ma and Bade papa are my keepers in Maheshwari house. Once they are not there, I don't know who else would want to keep me in that house. You are my keeper in your house. What if one day you leave and never come back? What will happen to me? I have legit no where to go. So when these things happen, it constantly scares me. Everything plays in front of me like a movie. Everything that was said or done to me. Every direct or indirect taunts. It brings me to a conclusion that I will keep paying the price no matter what. It scares me that…” Mishti tried to clear her throat as her tears were not helping her form words easily.
“But I don't let that stop me Abir. No matter what I fight against that. I pick those pieces up, I try to apply the glue of good memories and that's how I try to put myself together. That's how I stand up again. This is how I always face my emotions and my fear. That's how I prepare myself again to face the world and to fight the world. I am habituated now. Have been doing this since childhood. Sometimes I am able to fix myself in a short span while sometimes I take longer. But I do stand up.” Mishti tried to smile in between her tears. “I promise you Abir! I will not give up. I will keep fighting like I always have. Until I can. I just need some time and some understanding from you.. Please...!”
“Mishti! I understand. I understood everything that you said. But I still do have something to say. If there is a hand that can hold you amidst the storm, you should hold it. It will give you support. It will help you stand strong. It wont let you drown.” Mishti understood what Abir was referring too. She looked towards him with a light smile.
“You are right! But you also know that when the strength of the storm is high, it won't just drown me. It will also drown the person whose hand I would be holding for support... Sometimes you have to let go. It's much easier to come back.” stated Mishti.
“So I shouldn't even care?” asked Abir. He was trying really hard to be patient again.
“That's not what I said. I know you are still there. Whenever I will need the shoulder, I know I can fall back on it. The reason I am able to be the way I am right now is because I know I have you. I am not ok. I know you will not judge me. I know I don't have to put an act to be ok around you. And I am not even trying to do that. I know you can see that. And now!! Now you know exactly how I am feeling and what I am doing about it. And you are helping. Even by silently standing by my side. This is your biggest help for me. Trust me.”
Abir just slightly nodded at Mishti’s request. He asked her if he could just hug her. She nodded and he took her in his tight embrace. He was trying to erase her pain but his pain now was no less. Mishti’s words on their break up reverberated on him. He knew he had hurt her beyond measures. But even after that, she came back for them. She fought for them and the moment she knew the truth, she forgave him. She never brought it up again. And he understood she probably never wanted to bring it up. And yet she did which meant it stayed with her somewhere with every other thing that her family never lets her forget. Everything that she holds on to and it bursts like a volcano in such frivolous circumstances. He was proud that she was ready to fight and put herself back together. But he also knew that there was only a certain point would she be able to fight. He knew if this continued to happen with her, there would come a point where she might just give up. And what would happen then? She was the stronger one out of the two but he knew he just couldn't expect her to be the strong one all the time. He had to figure out a way. He knew he shouldn't take her emotional strength for granted and he promised himself he wouldn't let anyone else do that too.
Mishti wanted to lose herself totally in his embrace. But she was scared of totally breaking down. She wanted to stay strong. She wasn't looking to hamper her progress. She knew if she kept breaking down, the harder it would get for her to pick herself together. She just stayed in his embrace and closed her eyes. Her tears slowly fell off her eyes. Somewhere his hug was leaving the calming effect on her that it always did. She liked it. She cursed herself for hurting him by reminding him of their break up. And that's why she knew she didn't want to share it with him.
While they were lost in their thoughts, Mishti decided to break the hug and requested Abir if they could go home. Abir obliged and they both headed towards home.
Their way back home was filled with awkward silence. Abir kept glancing towards Mishti to make sure she was ok. All her words reverberated in his ears. He understood why meeting Mishri was not a good idea at this given point. He thought if that was the same case with Karishma. How it could hamper her healing process. Abir thought to suggest something to Mishti.
“Mishti! Do you want me to cancel or pause our deal with the Kapoors?” Abir asked.
U r an excellent writer. U defined every single emotion of all d character very nicely .
Every single time you hit the nail on the head in the way you express emotions. Could feel for Abir and Mishti both, and how beautifully you explained that while we might forgive a lot that happens, we can never forget, and we are always reminded of all of that when we are at our lowest. ❤️
I absolutely loved how mishti explained her feelings to abir. Also I am really glad that she brought up the break up even though it was unintentional. I wish they had brought it up in the real show too.
Originally posted by: Sarcastic_me
U r an excellent writer. U defined every single emotion of all d character very nicely .
Thank you so much! I am really glad that you liked it.
Originally posted by: angelfire78
Every single time you hit the nail on the head in the way you express emotions. Could feel for Abir and Mishti both, and how beautifully you explained that while we might forgive a lot that happens, we can never forget, and we are always reminded of all of that when we are at our lowest. ❤️
Thank you so very much for your compliment.
And yes! Totally! No matter how easy one can say moving on is, it is definitely not. And especially if you constantly have people reminding you this directly or indirectly, it haunts you at the darkest hours.
Originally posted by: Sumaiya27
I absolutely loved how mishti explained her feelings to abir. Also I am really glad that she brought up the break up even though it was unintentional. I wish they had brought it up in the real show too.
Hopefully the conversation was upto your expectation. I know how much you have been looking forward to Abir Mishti confrontation.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting.
Originally posted by: BB_CallmeC
Hopefully the conversation was upto your expectation. I know how much you have been looking forward to Abir Mishti confrontation.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting.
Cant wait for part 7
Wow...
How beautifully you have written the conversation between Abir and Mishti. Simply loved it.👍🏼Finally Mishti explained her inner fear to Abir and thank God she brought up the break up fiasco also. Abir should know how much it had hurt Mishti.
I so wanted Mishti to speak up to Abir atleast, I know she needs time to process as somany things are happening in her life.and finally she spoke up...😃
Eagerly waiting for the next part.
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