Chapter 4
Bela sat in the passenger seat of the car, one hand clutching the armrest, the other fidgeting with the seatbelt strapshe was nervous. She could see Mahir in her periphery, fingers drumming on the steering wheel, eyes glancing at the side mirrorsor perhaps at her. Rain drops trickled down the windshield, as more clouds agglomerated above them. It looked like a summer shower was headed their way.
Inside the car, Bela felt safe. There was something inviting comforting about the car. Perhaps it was the car seats strapped in the back, or the toys piled near her feet, or even the stains revamping the car's interior. Whatever it was, it felt right. She reached for a particular crusty stain at the edge of her seat, and proceeded to scrape it with her fingernail.
"Sorry about that, I was going to clean it, but..."
"Oh no, it's ok...it's um... very decorative."
Mahir chuckled, "Then, you'll love the patterns on our living room couch."
"I don't know. These are pretty colorful."
"Well, if you flip some of the cushions you might see color."
"I'll be the judge of that."
In the past week, Bela had gotten to know Mahir better. Besides the obviousfriendly, polite, and easy-goingshe'd learned more about his personal life, as well as bits and pieces of her own life that came along with his anecdotes. But what made the greatest impression was his attentiveness towards her and the kids. Even him drivingbreaking slowly, avoiding potholes as not to inflict pain in her injured legspoke immensely about him. She couldn't imagine going homewherever it was, with anyone else.
"We are almost there." Mahir said, turning into their street. For Mahir, this moment was like a flashback from four years ago. All the uncertainty and reservation he felt before showing her their house surfaced. He could only hope to get the same response from her.
"And... Here we are." Mahir said, pulling into the driveway.
Bela began studying the house before herflowery bushes around its facade, an oversized tree shadowing its side, and toys left haphazardly on the lawn. She had been here before. Mahir made his way to her side, retrieving the crutches from the backseat, before lowering her gently to the ground.
"Shall we go in?"
"Um... Yeah."
Mahir opened the door, gesturing for her to enter. She maneuvered inside, and he followed with his hand protectively on her back. Bela stood in the small entrance hallway, observing the portraits hanging on the wall. One picture was of Mahir with a young Meera on his lap, and her with a baby Dhruv in her armsa family portrait. She ran her hand over the glass frame, collecting a bit of dust between her fingers.
"We took that the year Dhruv was born," Mahir explained. "You wanted a picture of all of us. The one before had only Meera." Bela smiled, running her fingers over the not-so-smiling faces staring back on the adjacent portrait. "That one was difficult," Mahir continued. "Meera wouldn't stay put and Dhruv was colicky the whole day." Mahir watched her smile lovingly at the pictures.
"They look adorable."
"Yeah, they do."
Bela continued down the hallway, entering the living room.
Bela turned her focus to the coffee table in the middle of the living room, housing various picture frames. Photographs of Meera and Dhruv in highchairs covered in food, at the beach, and blowing out birthday candles, were among them. There was a particular picture of her pregnant self, with Mahir pointing to her stomach. Bela picked up the picture, looking intently at it.
"That's Meera," Mahir clarified, pointing at the picture. "It was the day you first felt her kick...I think you were five months."
"That's five months?" Bela said in disbelief.
"Yeah... We hid it for the first fourbecause of the wedding, but man did it grow fast after that."
Bela chuckled, looking down at her stomachflat. "I can't believe that this," she pointed to herself, "Was that!"
"Yeah, incredible uh?
"Yeah..."
Bela placed the picture back in its place, glancing at other photographs of her looking happy and cheery, not confused, or disoriented. Bela was jealous of the woman in those photographs. She desperately wanted to find her, but didn't know where to look.
You wanna continue the tour?" Mahir asked, interrupting her momentary daze.
"Um yeah...still waiting to see the Olympic size pool!"
Mahir chuckled, fishing for his phone that began vibrating in his pants' pocket. "Sorry, it's maa" Mahir said, "Hey maa... Good... Just got here...She's good...Okay...I'll be there ... Okay... Bye."
Bela looked worriedly at Mahir. "Is everything okay?"
"Oh yeah, she was wondering if I could pick up the kids a little earlier... Her doctor called asking if she could make an earlier appointment."
"Why don't we just get'em now?"
"I wanted you to get familiar with the house before they got here."
"Then I'll just stay."
"I don't know..."
"I'll be fine. Just go. I miss them already." Bela did miss them. Their enthusiasm towards her made her feel like she was the woman in all those pictures.
"Alright. But if you need anything, call. The numbers are on the fridge."
"Okay..."
Mahir exited the house, leaving Bela to inspect it herself. She walked into the kitchen, stopping in front of the fridge, embellished with pictures, magnets, and some of the kids' artwork. A particular magnet caught her attention. It was a save-the-date with a picture of a beautiful couple. She wondered who they were. She proceeded to open the fridge, gazing incredulously at the amounts of yogurt occupying the first shelf. Who eats that much yogurt. She rummaged through the kitchen a bit more, before deciding to go upstairs.
Bela slowly climbed the steps, stopping every so often to contemplate more pictures hung along the walls. When she reached the top, she entered the first room on the left. The bedroom was painted blue with decorative baby boats, lighthouses, and anchors along the walls. The bed sat in the corner of the room, its comforter matching the curtain's design. A trail of toys on the floor led to a toy chest by the wall. Bela walked over to the closet and opened its sliding door, fingering the small shirts, sweaters, and jackets hanging from tiny hangers. Everything is so small.
She walked out of the first room and entered the next room across the hall. Bela was amazed by how coordinated and detailed the room was. The walls were a soft green with colorful flowers painted deliberately along the walls. A dresser and a nightstand were on either side of the bed, and a kitchen set was found in the opposite corner. The bedding's flowery design matched that of the walls and curtains. There were shelves upon shelves of dolls and teddy bears. Bela examined the room carefully before continuing her way down the hallway.
Bela finally reached their bedroom. In comparison to the kids, this room was simpler. The walls were a serene blue with white curtains draped along the length of a large bay window. The centrally located bed was fairly large, with nightstands on either side, and a bench at its foot. Bela walked over to the dresser opposite the bed, noticing a wedding picture of her and Mahir. She wore a red lengha and Mahir a navy blue sherwani. She could barely make out the supposed baby-bump hidden under the embroidery of the dress. Bela was startled when she heard the front door open.
"Bela?" Mahir called out, "We're back."
Bela could hear small footsteps making their way up the stairs and a smile was immediately plastered on her face.
"Mamma!" Meera and Dhruv said in unison as they ran into the bedroom. It was amazing how her heart skipped a beat every time she heard the word mamma.
"Hey, guys! I missed you!" Bela moved to the bed and pulled them up to her lap, kissing each child.
"Mamma what's that?" Meera asked, pointing to the brace on her leg.
"It's something to make my leg better."
"Oh..."
"So, what did you guys do at grandma's today?"
"We made cookies!" Meera replied, holding a small package.
"Cookies!" Dhruv exclaimed, throwing his arms excitedly into the hair.
"It sounds like you guys had a lot of fun!" Bela said, unable to hide how contented she was to be holding them.
"Hey," Mahir said, entering the room.
"Hi..."
"So, impressed yet?"
"Well, I didn't get to meet my butler..."
"Oh, we had to let him go..." Mahir said taking a seat next to her and pulling Dhruv to his lab, "But, are you hungry?"
"Yeah, actually."
"I was thinking, dinner"
"Can we go to the place we draw on the tables?" Meera chimed in.
"That's for breakfast sweetie." Mahir chuckled, "I thought of staying in, since it's still raining out."
"Yeah, that's good." Bela replied.
"Okay then, it's settled."
They made their way downstairs, Mahir helping Bela maneuver carefully down each step. They exchanged glances, and Mahir instinctively snaked his arm around her. His touch was always very gentle and careful, but Bela couldn't stop herself from tensing up under his fingertips. A tingly sensation would run up and down her spine causing her muscles to tighten very time he made contact with her.
"Who wants to watch Simba?" Mahir asked, as they reached the last step.
"I do, I do!" Meera exclaimed.
"Simba?" Dhruv asked.
"Yeah buddy, the lion Grrr..." Mahir got on all fours chasing Meera and Dhruv around the living room. The kids jumped from couch to couch attempting to escape the lion. Their giggles filled the room as Mahir seized them, bringing them to the floor. "I got you, Grrr ." Bela watched with a smile on her face as Mahir eventually crashed down to the floor with both kids above him.
"We got you pappa." Meera exclaimed winded.
"Gotch- you!" Dhruv parroted.
"You did. You guys are very strong." Mahir said winking at Bela, eliciting her laughter. "Okay, let's watch Simba now." Mahir put the DVD in and settled the kids in the living room before leaving to the kitchen to start dinner.
"Okay," Mahir said walking towards Bela. "We have about twenty minutes tops before they get bored with the movie."
"Okay..."
"I was thinking Biryani, since it's my specialty, as far as cooking goes. But if you have any other preference..."
"Biryani sounds good."
"Biryani it is!"
Mahir walked to the kitchen and Bela followed. He opened a cabinet door, taking out a packet of rice.
"Do you need any help?"
"Sure. Can you get the oil from the basket and the vegetables from the fridge?"
"Yeah." Bela opened the fridge door looking through its contents. "Vegetables... Vegetables..." She repeated to herself. She grabbed the Vegetables and placed it on top of the kitchen counter.
"Thank you." Mahir replied.
Bela closed the fridge door, eyeing the save-the-date again. "Who are they?"
"Who?" Mahir said stretching his neck to see what she was pointing at.
"The couple in this picture."
"Oh... that's Vikrant and his fianc, Vish. He was my college friend.. They're finally getting married."
"Oh...I see"
" Do I know them ". Bela asked.
Mahir kept his eyes on the rice. " Yess you doo.. in fact you and vish are really good friends ".
" Wooww " Bela said.. " That's good to know.. "
"It smells pretty good." She said, approaching the stove.
"Yeah?"
"Definitely."
Bela began pacing around the kitchen; fiddling with the plated and the utensils on the counter. Mahir could feel her eyes on him. He looked at her quizzically, but she simply shook her head, smiling sheepishly at him. He knew she wanted something. The way she twisting her fingers and the way her mouth curved was a big tell.
"What?" Mahir asked.
Bela looked hesitantly at him. "Can I ask you something?"
"Um... Sure..."
"What was I ... like...um... before the accident?"
Mahir was not expecting that. "What were you like? I don't..."
"I mean, I see the pictures. But there's only so much I can tell from them."
"Well... you were..." Mahir fumbled with his words. "You were...you. I know it's not the answer you were probably looking for. But you are the woman in those pictures. You just need"
"I don't feel like her," Bela interrupted, frustration in her voice. "I don't think I can be her."
"Don't say that." Mahir's voice a pleading whisper.
"Mahir, you need" Bela was interrupted by Meera entering the kitchen.
"Can I have a cookie?"
"Dinner is almost ready." Mahir said, hiding the knot in his throat.
"Please pappa, just one?"
"After dinner sweetie." Meera turned on her feet and stomped to the living room.
An awkward silence reigned in the kitchen. The only noise came from the sizzling sound of the frying pan. Bela didn't mean to upset Mahir. She just didn't want him to have these high expectations she couldn't live up to. The doctor said she might remember things again, but she felt helpless.
"Dinner's ready." Mahir said, soberly walking out of the kitchen. "I'm gonna get the kids."
"Okay." Bela watched Mahir walk past her and into the living room.
They ate dinner listening to Meera talk. Bela was very attentive to her, almost encouraging her to keep talking. She wanted to dissipate the tension between her and Mahir. Dhruv took a few spoon of his rice and began fussing in his chair, arching his back in the hopes of being released from his booster seat.
"Dhruv you have to eat before you leave the table." Mahir said.
"Nooo, no hungry!"
"You are not leaving until you're done."
Dhruv began kicking his legs, trying to free himselfhis efforts in vain. Bela got up from her seat and made airplane sounds before placing the spoon in his mouth. When he finished eating, she gave him a big kiss and released him from the chair. Dhruv quickly slid from it and ran to the living room.
She looked up at Mahir and he smiled at her. "That's who you are."
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