SamAina OS: Chhoti Si Baat

Ross11 thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
Hi guys, 
This is my second OS. I am clueless whether I succeeded in writing what I wanted to convey or not, would like to listen your reviews on this esp of those who had reviewed my first OS, critism is welcome as it will help me as a writer. 
*********

Chhoti Si Baat
"Sameer, utho na kitna time ho gaya hai, kab tak sote rahoge" Naina was trying hard to wake him up. 
"sone do na Naina, kitne dinon baad Sunday free mila hai" 
" toh kya din bhar sote rahoge, dus baj rahe hain ab utho bhi, phir hamain market bhi jana hai"
" Aaj main kahin nahin jaunga" he said in half sleepy tone. 
" OK, theek hai phir kabhi but abhi uth jao" When she turned to go back Sameer pulled her, she fell on him on bed. He covered her with his arms around " Naina, yeh sab kya hai? Tum meri har baat kyun maan leti ho? hamari shaadi ko six months ho gaye hain aur tumne kabhi mujhpe ghussa nahi kiya"he said by tucking hair strand behind her ear. 
" mujhe achchha lagta hai" she said with a broad smile. 
He was confused, asked her to explain. She said " mujhe achchha lagta hai jab tumhari baat man lun toh, mujhe achcha lagta hai tumhein khushh dekhna aur isse mujhe khushi milti hai aur isliye main ghussa kar ke apni khushi nahi barbaad kar sakti" she winked. 
Sameer wanted to plant a kiss but she smartly pushed him and told him to be ready and left. 

"Achchha toh Naina, chalo aaj yeh test kar hi lete hain, tum bhi yahin ho aur main bhi, evening tak tum ko ghussa dila dunga aur jab tum ghusse mein kuchh kahogi toh main tumse naraaz ho jaunga phir dekhte hain mujhe manane ke liye tum kya karti" he murmured. 

For breakfast Sameer came with his plan to execute.Naina cooked his favourite Dal Bati, he had praised this dish so many times that it was her unsaid wish to hear again and again. " maine tumhari pasand ki dish banayi hai hamesha ki tarah apne haathon se"she said while serving it. 
Sameer tasted it and on first bite made weird face. " Kya Naina, kitna be maza banaya hai poore munh ka taste kharab kar diya" he checked her face minutely for signs of anger but she was calm. " Achcha, sorry woh maine shayad jaldi mein banaya isliye, tum ruko main abhi doosra kuchh bana ke le aati hun"
Sameer was not expecting this" Yaar, ispe toh koi asar na hua, itni tasty dish ko itna bura bola tab bhi" he thought. 
"Nahi, ab rehne do main adjust kar lunga"he was thinking to apply his second trick now. 

" Naina, main aaj raat ka dinner bahar hi karunga, woh Sayali hai na woh aa rahi hai"She asked who is this Sayali? He told her that she was his classmate and girlfriend in Dehradun. 
"Aaj bhi mere peechhe padi hai aur milne aa rahi hai toh main dinner bhi saath mein hi karunga uske" he watched her face carefully. 
She said " main bhi saath mein chalun kya? "he was surprised. " tum kya karogi aa kar?" 
"mujhe pata karna hai ki tum as a boyfriend kaise the Dehradun mein aur kitni girlfriends thi tumhari aur tumhari wahan ki life kaisi thi. "

Sameer have imagined hundred other reactions but this one was not in his list. 
" Matlab tumhein koi farq nahi padta"
" Nahin, mujhe koi farq nahi padta tumhare past se." 
He was again clean bold, by not showing anger Naina has made this plan flop too. 
He was in deep thoughts to plan something that will irtitate her, irk her just then she waved her hand " toh kitne baje jaana hai?" 
"I will tell you later"he said quickly. 


After lunch, Naina came excitedly when Sameer was going through newspaper. she had written a poem for him. "haan toh kavita ka title hai Ek Aarzoo" she started reciting her poem 

Woh koi hawa ka jhonka hai
Ek thandi aur khushbudaar hawa
Jiski mehek se main madhosh ho jaati hun
Jo rooh tak ko sukoon deta hai
Jiske liye main be qarar rehti hun
Jab hota hai paas mere
Main Naina se na jaane kaise
Ek nazuk kali ban jaati hun
Mujhko uska ahsaas chahiye
Mujhko uska saath chahiye
Mujhe phool ban ke apni kushboo bikherne ke liye.
Woh hawa ka jhoka darkaar hai.
Bass yahi hai meri chhoti si ek aarzoo

Sameer quitely listened till end and as soon as she completed it he burst into laughter, he was holding his stomach and laughing his heart out, Naina was confused. Sameer enjoyed her facial expression and in his mind he was patting his back for successful execution of his plan, just then Naina said " kya hua, pasand nahi aayi kya?"
" tum rehne do Naina yeh tumhare bass ki baat nahi hai, tum bass apni kahaniyon par concentrate karo"he said trying to control his laughter. 
" haan, keh to tum theek hi rahe ho" she said calmly. Now it was his turn to be confused.
" haan, tumhein yaad hai Naina Mt.Abu mein maine tumhein chaar shabd diye the aur tumne ek story banayi thi. Aaj phir chaar shabd deta hun"
He paused, she signed him to go ahead then he said Main, Tum, Chachaji, Family." It was his another trick. It will definitely irritate her as chachaji is like a father to her and no girl will like direct pointing fingers at her father and family, he thought with meaningful smirk. 

Nanina thought for few seconds and said at that time chachaji was my family but now you are my family. At that time I tried everything to make him happy and now it will be for my family that is you. 

In normal scenario it would have been the best compliment he could have gotten,he would have felt on cloud nine but today was a different day. He was thinking on different notes and hence he spoke" Naina, mujhe pata chala hai ek waqt tha jab tum chachaji ke kehne par kunwe mein bhi koodne ko tayyar thi kya main kahon toh bhi"He looked into her eyes. 

"haan kood jaungi kyunki jaise mujhe chachaji pe uss waqt bharosa tha ki woh mere baare mein kabhi galat nahi soch sakte waise hi tum par bhi bharosa karti hun"she said in firm voice which showed her confidence and trust in him. 

By saying this she went up stairs. " yeh kis mitti ki bani hai yaar, is par toh meri kisi baat ka asar hi nahi ho raha, kuchh alag sochna padega" he was thinking on similar lines just then he saw Vishakha entering. 

Mama & family had shifted to their Gandhinagar place as soon as Vishakha had shifted in Ahmedabad and Vishakha had gone to attend a function at mamaji's place with Rohan and Dipika, they were going to stay there for a week. Sameer and Naina had visited their place and attended the function but then Sameer had to return for some bussiness meeting urgently. 

He asked Vishakha reason for such untimely arrival as she was about to come after spending few more days. She told him that she was not feeling well and Rohan, Dipika will be spending some time at mamaji's place. By saying this she hurriedly went towards her room. Sameer could sense how upset she was. For few minutes he waited there and went straight to Vishakha's room.She was crying. 
" kya hua mummy, kisi ne kuchh kaha kya?" 

" nahi beta, aise hi tere papa ki yaad aa rahi thi" when she realize how Sameer hates to call Mr. Somani as his father she corrected herself that she was talking about his real father Mr. Maheshwari. 

" pata hai, aaj hi ke din un ki death hui thi, itne saal ho gaye par yeh din aaj bhi nahi bhuli hun main" 

Sameer consoled her to forget bad memories. She continued" aur usse bhi zyada bura lagta hai jab main apne behaviour ka sochti hun"

She told him how she had fought with his  father on some petty issue, he had tried his best to make her understand but she had not listened to him. "For whole day I had not talked with him and then he had to go for some urgent meeting and then I had realised my mistake. I had thought whenever he will be back I will apologise for my behaviour but he hadn't come but only his news.  She paused for wiping tears. Sameer gave her water. 

" aaj bhi sochti hun toh bahot afsos hota hai beta, kaash maine woh sab na kiya hota, kaash pehle hi sorry bol diya hota ya jhagda hi na kiya hota" she said after taking first sip. 

Sameer was listening with plain face. Vishakha continued " jahan tak ho sake pyar se raho, yeh ghussa karna, jhagda karna iss mein kuchh nahi rakha hai, chhoti si baat hai beta par hamain ahsaas tab hota hai jab hamara pyar humse duur chala jaata hai kabhi wapas na aane ke liye phir sirf regret ke siwa kuchh nahi rehta. Par tujhe aur Naina ko dekh kar mujhe bahot khushi hoti hai ki yeh baat tum logon ne itni jaldi samajh li hai"

Sameer was numb for few minutes,he couldn't concentrate what Vishakha was saying then he excused his mother, told her to take rest and went straight to see Naina. 


She was setting his wardrobes in their bedroom. Sameer entered. " kya mere kaam karti rehti ho Naina, tum rakho main khud kar lunga ya kisi servent se karwa lunga" He said while trying to snatch his shirt. 
" Mujhe achchha lagta hai tumhare kaam karna aur kisi servent ko kya pata ki kya mere Sameer par jachta hai" she smiled. 

He held her hands and sat on bed with her. " Naina, tum mujhse naaraaz toh nahi ho? "
She looked into his eyes " tumne aisa kuchh kiya hai kya jisse main naraaz rahun?" 
He said"Naina, mujhe tum se kuchh kehna hai, pehli baat toh koi Sayali Wayali meri girlfriend nahi thi." 
" haan woh toh mujhe pata hai, achhe se jaanti hun tumhein"
" aur tumhari poem bhi bahot achchhi thi, Munna ki language mein ekdum dharti phaad"
" Achcha! Toh woh sab kya tha?" she said smilingly. 
"woh toh bass... "
" Mazaaq tha na, jaanti hun"
Sameer was speechless to know how she understands everything related to him without uttering a word. 
" Aur mujhe tumhare haath ka khana bhi bahot achchha lagta hai, khaas kar Dal Bati, dil chahta hai ungliyan chatta reh jaun"He tried to lick her fingers, she pulled her hand back. 
" aur chalo jaldi tayyar ho jao market chalna hai na. I love you Naina ab se main tumhein hamesha khushh rakhunga"he hugged her tightly recalling his mother's chhoti si baat. 
Edited by Ross11 - 5 years ago

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bmk28 thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
Lovely one, Ross.. Its so simple but yet it has a very strong message conveyed.. We take our closed ones for granted and fight on petty issues at time.. However we realize their worth only when we face difficult situations.. Thats the point you have conveyed so well...I loved it totally..
Chatterbox1 thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
Such a cute and well written story and such a strong message..choti si Baat But most inportant. Thank you for this!
Rahul126545 thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
Thank u for this os pata hi nahi Chala padhte padhte kab khatam hogya...essa laga khatam kyun hua Aur padhne ka man Kar raha tha...ISS weekend ka sabse acha os tha yeh...bahut cute Aur bahut acha tha...please try to write an Ff Aur another ps/TS 
Sakshi607 thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
Wow!!!! Its very nice Ross.  Very well written.  Sweet and simple but conveyed a deep message and that too effortlessly. Keep writing, your are talented.

OS poora ka poora achcha hai but what I liked the most is that mamaji and family have shifted to Gandhinagar and Vishaka is back. Hope this happens soon in the show as well.
gugul thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
Beautiful story with a lovely and a meaningful message in it. Loved reading it... Keep writing Ross..you are writing stories very well!!
PehliDafaHai thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
Such a beautiful message conveyed!  ⭐️
We often fight with our loved ones for silly issues...we always realise the value of something once it is lost...I liked how you brought Vishaka and Sameer's biological father into picture for his realisation...👏
The poem was a nice read...😳
Come up with more, Ross!!! 😃

P.S. Your Sameer does something tedha always, first work of yours also, remember? 😆
Edited by Mayashika - 5 years ago
JaySee thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
Very nice story with a very good message.
In our life also we should not fight over petty issues and even if any misunderstanding happens between your near and dear ones, try to solve it as soon as possible. We don't know when life will take drastic turns then whatever we do, we may not be able to correct and solve those issues. Most importantly learn from your mistakes and correct it immediately and don't repeat it.
nonexisting thumbnail
Posted: 5 years ago
Wow a beautiful story with a beautiful message❤️
Wonderful poem written 😛it seems u r a poet also👏
Loved how sameer was trying various tricks to irritate naina and naina being calm was not even showing a lil bit of irritation😳 ye konsi naina hai bhai show me toh humne kuch or hi dekhi hai😆
Thanks for vishaka come back and revealing mr maheshwari's past not in show but atleast in ur story😆
The conversation at the end was magical loved each and every word by sam ❤️

Loved this os i was reading os after so many days and was so engrossed in reading that i dint realized it ended😛

And ya one more thing aapko sameer hmesha ulti harkatein krte hue hi accha lgta hai kya os contest vale me bhi aapne aise hi dikhaya tha😉😆

Want more os from you...
Yudkbh30 thumbnail
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Posted: 5 years ago
So beautiful lovely update