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NimbuMirchi

@NimbuMirchi

IF-Stunnerz

+ 5

Posted: 5 years ago

#51

Originally posted by: return_to_hades
You simply cannot be an advocate for equality and reject feminism or any of the social justice movements. You cannot balance the scales for equity without these.

Nobody is rejecting feminism. Least of all me.

The point I was trying to make was -- people have misconception. In India. majority have.

Getting angry over people not understanding about feminism -- aint helping. You are dumb. Ok then next what? you think they gonna try to learn about feminism? You are actually making them conclude that feminists are intolerant people.

There is no way a person is going to do some research or google about feminism when the term has been and being wrongly propagated.

You will find so many who thinks -- I support gender equality. but I don't support feminism.

Why be -- you dumb at them. Nicely tell em.. it's the same thing. Politeness is basic. We shouldn't forget that while supporting feminism.

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cory

@cory

IF-Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 5 years ago

#52

Isn't that the whole point of feminism? lolol She's such a ditz but entertaining tho

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745671

Posted: 5 years ago

#53

Originally posted by: BlackPanther7
Just like there is a Ban on Dowry, there shud be Ban on Alimony. Women shud not feed on Husband's earnings. Just like women are not property. Same way, even Husband is also not Bank ATM. 😔

This is pure ignorance. Dowry and alimony are not similar in any way. Alimony is given in order to level the playing field. In most marriages, one person always has to take the back seat and it's usually the woman. Because of that, they tend to earn a lot less money. If a divorce happens, they get screwed so alimony is a way to correct that.

Let me give you an example of a couple I know in real life. He married at a fairly early age when he was still in medical school. His wife worked during that time while he studied. She paid the bills and the rent and helped him get his education. When he graduated, she had to quit her job and follow him to wherever he got accepted into the residency program. That meant that she was giving up chances at promotions and raises and advancement in her field because she had to put her husband's career first. She didn't find a new job in another location for a while. Then in essence she had to start over again. Once she settled in again, it was time for his residency to end and they had to move again where he got a real job.

As a doctor, his income increased 10 fold while she was back to square one trying to look for another job. Then they had kids so once again, she had to quit her job because someone needed to look after them and it didn't make sense for the husband to do it. He continued working and earning a lot of money and getting promotions as the years went on. She didn't really have anything since whatever she had earned had been spent on his education, rent, food, etc. She had wages lost from constantly having to quit jobs and not be up for promotions. Then she had more lost earnings as she was home taking care of kids.

Now suppose after 10-15 years together in total, a divorce occurred. He is financially very well off and earning loads of money. She has been working on and off and has gaps in her career because of child rearing. It's very tough to go back to work and get hired when you've been home for years. She very likely doesn't have money saved up in her own name either. On top of that, her career was never the high flying one her husband had. Then what? It's very unfair to leave that person struggling when they contributed just as much to the marriage as the husband did. That's why alimony is given. It is earned fair and square and is *her* money that belongs to her rightfully as part of the marriage.

Edited by anonymous39 - 5 years ago

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1140816

Posted: 5 years ago

#54

Originally posted by: anonymous39

This is pure ignorance. Dowry and alimony are not similar in any way. Alimony is given in order to level the playing field. In most marriages, one person always has to take the back seat and it's usually the woman. Because of that, they tend to earn a lot less money. If a divorce happens, they get screwed so alimony is a way to correct that.

Let me give you an example of a couple I know in real life. He married at a fairly early age when he was still in medical school. His wife worked during that time while he studied. She paid the bills and the rent and helped him get his education. When he graduated, she had to quit her job and follow him to wherever he got accepted into the residency program. That meant that she was giving up chances at promotions and raises and advancement in her field because she had to put her husband's career first. She didn't find a new job in another location for a while. Then in essence she had to start over again. Once she settled in again, it was time for his residency to end and they had to move again where he got a real job.

As a doctor, his income increased 10 fold while she was back to square one trying to look for another job. Then they had kids so once again, she had to quit her job because someone needed to look after them and it didn't make sense for the husband to do it. He continued working and earning a lot of money and getting promotions as the years went on. She didn't really have anything since whatever she had earned had been spent on his education, rent, food, etc. She had wages lost from constantly having to quit job and not be up for promotions. Then she had more lost earnings as she was home taking care of kids.

Now supposed after 10-15 years together in total, a divorce occurred. He is financially very well off and earning loads of money. She has been working on and off and has gaps in her career because of child rearing. It's very tough to go back to work and get hired when you've been home for years. She very likely doesn't have money saved up in her own name either. On top of that, her career was never the high flying one her husband had. Then what? It's very unfair to leave that person struggling when they contributed just as much to the marriage as the husband did. That's why alimony is given. It is earned fair and square and is *her* money that belongs to her rightfully as part of the marriage.

This is based on the broad assumption that his career is growing continuously. I will give u another example.

A man married a woman. They didnot get along and they divorced after 3 years. Now, he has to bear her expenses for the rest of his life. U think it is easier life for divorced men? If tomorrow, he gets married, imagine the financial stress on him?

There has been so many cases where cunning fraud women misused the alimony laws to marry 4 different men n living off their individual alimony expenses and got arrested later.

And what do u mean her money? It is HIS hard work n sweat which he was earning for his family n livelihood. She has no right to it after the marriage ends.

To say she put her husband's career first is bit too much. Bcoz people get married to men with good jobs n good income only. So, the wife had no contribution to the career of these already successful men as such. No woman marries a low earning man.

Edited by BlackPanther7 - 5 years ago

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Illyrion

@Illyrion

IF-Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 5 years ago

#55

Kareena says a lot of things badly and this is one. The fact that we are arguing about it this much should be a sign of how misunderstood and controversial the term feminist is. She described what she believes and it sounds good enough to me. She is a public person who doesn't want to associate herself with a term that, unfortunately, lots of people think means "man hating female supremacist ". It is fine to want to take back the term and get rid of the negative associations but you can't wish away reality.

When the nepotism debate happened. Some people pointed out that the true meaning of nepotism is different than the "common " definition of nepotism. But it fell on deaf ears because too many people think it means what they think it means. Feminism is like that. Words do change meaning over time and the most important definition is whatever most people think it means - even if they are technically wrong.

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745671

Posted: 5 years ago

#56

Honestly, the only thing this forum teaches me over and over is how much men truly seem to hate women. The kind of things written here are just disgusting. 🤢

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return_to_hades

@return_to_hades

IF-Stunnerz

+ 6

Posted: 5 years ago

#57

Originally posted by: NimbuMirchi
Nobody is rejecting feminism. Least of all me.

My post was at no one in particular. 😕

Ponymo's previous post about egalitarianism just inspired me to post my thoughts on how I perceive the terms.

Originally posted by: NimbuMirchi
You will find so many who thinks -- I support gender equality. but I don't support feminism.
Why be -- you dumb at them. Nicely tell em.. it's the same thing. Politeness is basic. We shouldn't forget that while supporting feminism.

I accept that my previous post "I'm not an atheist, but I don't believe in God" could be snarky.

But I didn't perceive this post to be impolite, rude or condescending. Where did I go wrong?

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Illyrion

@Illyrion

IF-Dazzler

+ 2

Posted: 5 years ago

#58

Originally posted by: BlackPanther7

This is based on the broad assumption that his career is growing continuously. I will give u another example.

A man married a woman. They didnot get along and they divorced after 3 years. Now, he has to bear her expenses for the rest of his life. U think it is easier life for divorced men? If tomorrow, he gets married, imagine the financial stress on him?

There has been so many cases where cunning fraud women misused the alimony laws to marry 4 different men n living off their individual alimony expenses and got arrested later.

And what do u mean her money? It is HIS hard work n sweat which he was earning for his family n livelihood. She has no right to it after the marriage ends.

To say she put her husband's career first is bit too much. Bcoz people get married to men with good jobs n good income only. So, the wife had no contribution to the career of these already successful men as such. No woman marries a low earning man.

In another post you said males and females had different roles so I would have expected you to say she should stay home and take care of the kids while he goes out to earn. In the example anon39 gave, what the wife did was as important as what he did. Some things cannot be divided but have to be shared.

If she supported him through medical school and paid for his education with her hard work and sweat, does the education belong to her? He should stop using it then, according to your logic.

If she stayed home and raised their children with her hard work and sweat, what right does he have to the children when the marriage ends? He should stop seeing them then, according to your logic.

If he got promotions because she took care of everything at home so his only focus was work, how does she not "own " part of his success?

They made a home together and "own " it and everything in it together. Especially in families where there is pressure on a woman to stay home with the kids or put his career ahead of hers, she absolutely "owns " part of his success.

The role of women in the family has been minimized and trivialized for too long. What a woman contributes to a home is just as valuable (but harder to valuate ) as what a man does. Now things are changing where women (and divorce courts) recognize their worth and can afford to leave marriages and get educations and careers of their own and some men act like the sky is falling.

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return_to_hades

@return_to_hades

IF-Stunnerz

+ 6

Posted: 5 years ago

#59

People here seem to have grave misunderstandings on dowry and alimony. Anonymous39 tried to explain but let me try too.

Dowry (in Indian cultural context) is a sum of money the girl's family pays to the boy's side.

It initially was a means for the girl to get her share of the inheritance in form of liquid assets such as cash, clothes, jewelry, and amenities for a new home. Her brothers would actually inherit property and non-liquid assets. Over time it became something that the boy's side demanded. It forced families to liquidate everything they had in order to marry off a girl. It led to a lot of domestic violence and abuse when dowry was not satisfactory.

India has laws against these old traditions because they lead to abuse and disparity against women.

Alimony is more or less a modern term that evolved in an era where divorce was more prevalent. It is a maintenance the wife or husband can get after divorce or settlement. It is a means for the spouse with fewer resources to sustain themselves after a divorce. Historically, only women received alimony because they were housewives with no income. Since women continue to give precedence to the husband's career and earn less in general - women tend to get alimony.

However, there are many instances where men receive alimony from their more successful wives. There are also many cases where courts thought alimony was not necessary due to acrimony or misbehavior on part of the women.

Alimony is just something that levels they playing field in divorce or separation. It also prevents men and women from being trapped in unhappy marriages due to financial constraints.

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Male-Chauvinist-Pig

@Ur-Miserable

IF-Stunnerz

+ 4

Posted: 5 years ago

#60

Originally posted by: anonymous39
Honestly, the only thing this forum teaches me over and over is how much men truly seem to hate women. The kind of things written here are just disgusting.🤢

Isn't BlackPanther a female though?

Oh you mean to say her being whitewashed by MCPs surrounding her.

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