Okay! mujhe pata hai maine sabka dimag bahot kha liya hai, aur uske baad tragic OS bhi daal diya toh this one's small and without any twists and turns and all that..I think we've had enough of that for a while...
Love?
Riya: that's a nice change of scenery
Arjun(annoyed): it's a prison cell!
Riya: I was being sarcastic!
Arjun: oh!
Riya(annoyed): Arjun! Do something!
Arjun: kya?
Riya(in disbelief): KYA? Kaise ACP ho tum??
Arjun: imandaar, wafadaar, sacha, acha, disciplined, handsome, samajdaar, muscu...
Riya use zor se kandhe par maarti hai: apni Bakwas band kar!
Arjun apni chot par rub karta hai: are? Tune hi toh pucha
Riya: MAINE... (controlling) Mr. Samajdaar ACP aaj aapka dimag chutti par ghaas charne ke liye gaya hai?
Arjun(sochte hue): shayad
Riya bas gusse mein muh fer leti hai. Arjun smile karta hai aur use side hug karta hai.
Arjun: are chill na...dekh waise bhi, ab subah se pehle hum yaha se nahi nikal sakte kyunki bail nahi hogi, toh kyun khamakha dimag garam kar rahi hai?
Riya(whining): Arjun! Raat bhar lock up mein? Kitna ganda hai yaha aur...aur (haath wave karte hue) kitne machar hai, main kaise rahungi yaha par? Mujhse nahi hoga!
Arjun: ab kya kar sakte hai
Riya: par...
Ek havaldaar salakhon par danda maarta hai: O nalayokon!! Kuch toh sharam karo! Lock up pahunch gaye lekin fir bhi akal nahi aayi! (disgustingly) haath hata ladki se
Arjun chup-chap haath hatata hai whereas Riya gusse se aag-babula hoti hai aur apne fists band karti hai. Arjun aankhon se use calm rehne ke ka ishara karta hai. Havaldaar ke jaane ke baad.
Riya(angrily): ise toh main Supreme court mein sue karungi!!! Haath Hatao? My Foot! Haath Hatao! Use Kya Panchat Hai? Marital Rape Ko Rape Nahi Maante Aur Ladke Ladkiyon Ko Judge Karte Firte Hai! Huh! Bloody Hypocrites!! Aise Logon Ki Wajah Se Hi Humara Desh Kabhi Aage Nahi Badh Pata!!!
Arjun uska kandhe par haath fer kar use console karne ki koshish karta hai: bas Riyu bas, tu kitna bhi bol le ye hume subah se pehle nahi chodenge...atleast subah tak!
Riya upset hokar use dekhti hai. Arjun sympathetically nod karta hai...Same time us police station ke baahar do SUV aakar rukti hai. Usme se 7 log baahar aate hai.
Sameer: chalo guys jaldi karo! Mujhe ghar jaana hai
Roshni: Sam kya din bhar ghar-ghar karte rehte ho? I mean...(Ayesha ko dekhkar) abhi tak toh biwi nahi aayi kiski daant ka dar lag raha hai?
Ayesha blush karti hai, baakhi sab apni hasi chupate hai
Sameer use glare karta hai: will you please shut up?
Roshni: sure!
Sameer: thank you!
Sakshi: lekin Sameer, us smuggler ko toh Arjun ne pakda tha na? toh use bhi yaha hona chahiye na jab hum case ko local police ko handover kare?
Roshni: ha Sam! Use bhi hona chahiye, tum ek kaam karo! Tum use bula lo
Dono ladkiyaan ek-dusre ko glare karti hai
Sameer: usne half-day liya hai, main use bina emergency ke nahi bula sakta! Ab chalo aur kaam karo! mv "yaar Arjun ya toh tu dono mein kisi ek ko pakad ya fir kisi teesri ko, Sakshi ko toh fir bhi jhel leta hun lekin Rosh ko 24 ghante jhelna padta hai...kuch toh kar!
Sab nod karke andar jaate hai. Station-in-charge Sameer ko salute karta hai. Puri team station ke officers ke saath procedure kar rahi hai. Aadhe ghante mein procedure complete karke...
Sameer: that's it then! Ab is case ki zimmedaari aapki
Rakesh(inspector): sure sir! Aap befikar rahiye...
Havaldaar Arjun aur Riya ko zabardasti waha kheench kar laata hai: chalo!
Riya: What The Hell! Mujhe Lawyer Chahiye!!!
Arjun: relax!
Riya: Shut up Arjun!
Rakesh(annoyed): Kya Ho Raha Hai Ye Sab?
Arjun aur Riya ETF ko dekhte hai. Arjun ko khush hona ya embarrass feel karna pata nahi chalta
Havaldaar: saab! Ye dono lock up mein bhi nahi sudhre! Public place mein toh chuma-chaati kar hi rahe the ab lock up mein bhi...
Arjun se ab aur control nahi hota: ABE OYE! Ladki Haath Pakadna Use Kiss Karna Nahi Hota You...
Riya(teasingly): Arjun...relax!
Arjun(sharply): shut up!
Rakesh: Bas Bahot Ho Gaya! (havaldaar se) kya hua? Saaf- saaf batao!
Arjun aur Riya ko apna sar fodne ka man kar raha hai.
Riya(muttering): ab ye ise explanation lega?!?!
Havaldaar: saab! Humne park se baakhi couples ke saath uthaya tha...
Riya: baakhi mein sirf ek tha, ye bhi bol do
Havaldaar use glare karte hue continue karta hai: aur abhi lock up mein dono chipak ke baithe hue the...
Riya: kyunki tumhare lock up ki safayi aakhri baar Shivaji Maharaj ne karwayi thi!!!
Havaldaar: aur (Arjun ki taraf point karke) isne isko pakad kar rakha tha, maine mana kiya lekin do minute mein waapis wahi
Isse pehle ki Rakesh ya Riya kuch bol paaye...
Arjun: Sam! Tum kuch Bologe ya fir mere upar charge sheet banne ke baad muh khologe?
Sameer presence mein aata hai. Actually sab shock se baahar aate hai. Unhe yakeen nahi ho raha ki Arjun lock up mein hai woh bhi ek ladki ke saath? Aur woh bhi obscenity ke liye arrest hue hai.
Rakesh aur Havaldaar confuse hokar unhe dekhte hai.
Rakesh: sir? Aap inhe jaante hai
Sameer: woh...ha...ye ACP Arjun Suryakant Rawte hai, ETF ke second-in-command
Uska naam sunkar havaldaar ke paseene chutne lagte hai: k...ya?
Riya: Arjun tu na kisi kaam ka nahi hai! Pehle hi tera naam bol deta... hum chut jaate
Arjun(apologetically): sorry
Riya: you better be! (havaldaar se) aur bhai saahab... shakal dekhiye is admi ki...aisa lagta hai jaise neem ke ped par karela ug raha hai (Arjun use glare karta hai) aur aapko ye mera boyfriend lagta hai? (dramatically) hey bhagwan? Ye kaunsa din dikha diya tumne mujhe?
Arjun: tu thodi der chup nahi reh sakti?
Riya(sternly): agar agle 5 minute mein tune mujhe yaha se baahar nahi nikala toh main Teri Gun Se Tujhe Goli Marungi
Arjun Sameer ko dekhta hai: you want me to die?
Sameer abhi bhi confused hai lekin: Rakesh! Please could you leave them? I'm sure Koi misunderstanding hui hai...aur isliye ye mess create hua hai
Rakesh ko bhi kuch samaj mein nahi aa raha hai: ji...ji sir! Sure! (Havaldaar se) inhe jaane do
Riya: aur mera phone aur purse waapis karo!
Arjun: mera bhi!
Havaldaar obey karke unhe unka saaman waapis karta hai. ETF Riya ke sath baahar jaati hai.
Roshni: Arjun tumne toh kaha tha ki tumhe zaroori kaam hai, kaha the tum?
Arjun apni eyebrow raise karta hai: maine aisa kab kaha tha?
Riya use bachati hai: Arjun! Tu mujhe ghar chod raha hai ya fir kabristaan se kisi mare hue chacha ko bulau?
Arjun eyes roll karta hai: Sam ek chaabi de, meri gaadi wahi park mein hai
Sameer use ek chaabi deta hai. Arjun Riya ko lekar chala jaata hai.
Sakshi: Sameer tumne use jaane kyun diya?
Sameer: matlab?
Roshni: mujhe yakeen nahi ho raha main keh rahi hun, lekin woh sahi hai...aur woh ladki kaun thi?
Sameer: are chup ho jao yaar tum dono! Mujhe nahi pata woh ladki kaun thi? Main Uska P.A Nahi Hu!!!!
Roshni: lekin Sam...
Sameer: Roshni bas! Main thak gaya hun, mujhe sona hai! Shree! Chotu! Sakshi aur Liza ko ghar chod do
Dono nod karte hai. Sameer Roshni aur Ayesha ke saath chala jaata hai. On the hand...
Riya: woh mandli tumhari thi?
Arjun(exasperated): mandli?!?! Riya! Woh saare qualified ETF officers hai
Riya: itni badi dramebaaz thi toh mandli hi bulaungi
Arjun(confused): kaun?
Riya: are wahi jo tera interrogation kar rahi thi
Arjun: are woh toh Roshni thi, maine bola tha na ki woh aur Sakshi mera dimag khaate rehte hai
Riya: hmm...tabhi aajkal tera dimag kaam nahi karta
Arjun: are yaar! Do ghante se taane pe taane maar rahi hai, kyun pareshaan kar rahi hai?
Riya: kyunki mujhe gussa aa raha hai ki main arrest hui aur do ghante lock up mein bitaane pade...kahi na kahi toh nikalna padega na?
Arjun: toh tujhe uske liye mujhe bina baat ke daantne ke ilawa aur koi solution nahi mila
Riya: nahi
Arjun(annoyed): Are Yaar Ri Tu...
Riya uske haath par scratch karti hai
Arjun: ouch! Damnit! Riya stop doing that! Tumse kitni baar mana kiya hai maine?
Riya: kyun?
Arjun(incredulously): kyun kya kyun? Lagti hai !
Riya: are? Ajeeb admi ho tum, goli lagti hai tab dard nahi hota tumhe lekin main thode nakhoon maarti hun toh dard hota hai
Arjun: obviously dard hota hai...
Riya uska haath pakadti hai: Arjun!
Arjun(gusse mein): Kya Hai?
Riya(innocently): gussa mat ho na (Arjun use glare karta hai) acha fine I'm sorry
Arjun sigh karta hai: tujhse toh naraaz bhi nahi reh sakta
Riya smile karti hai aur uska haath pakad kar uske kandhe par sar rest karti hai.
Arjun: waise ek baat bata, tujhe sach mein meri shakal neem ke ped par ug rahe karele jaisi lagti hai?
Riya: sach kahu ya jhut?
Arjun eyes roll karta hai: jhut
Riya: ha!
Arjun: aur sach?
Riya: sirf tab jab tu bahot gusse mein hota hai, bahot daravna lagta hai
Arjun: tujhe bhi dar lagta hai?
Riya: nahi lekin shock zaroor lagta hai, apni awaaz suni hai? Ek kaam karna agli baar gussa aaye na toh kisi se record karwaana, fir pata chalega tujhe! ki kitne rongte khade ho jaate hai?
Arjun smile karta hai: ab haath chod gear kaise change karu?
Riya apni seat par seedhe baithti hai: neend aa rahi hai...(whining) kal subah-subah kaam par jaana hai...oh God! Save me!
Arjun: kitni Nautanki karti hai tu...thakti nahi?
Riya: tere saath kabhi nahi
Arjun disbelief mein sar hilata hai. Riya ko ghar chod kar woh bhi apne ghar chale jaata hai.
Next day, ETF office-
Arjun ne office mein kadam rakha hi tha ki Sameer use kheench kar side mein le jaata hai.
Arjun: are kya hua?
Sameer: kya, kya hua? Woh ladki kaun thi aur tum dono? Kya? chal kya raha hai?
Arjun(bored): are yaar puch mat! Main Ri ke saath movie dekhne gaya tha...
Sameer(shocked): tune apni dost ke saath film dekhne ke liye Leave Li? Tune?!? Arjun Rawte ne?!?!...
Cricket
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