*Midnight blue* - Swasan TS
I see the lonely road that leads so far away,
I see the distant lights that left behind the day
But what I see is so much more than I can say
And I see you midnight blue.
At
night, when the whole city was soundly sleeping and resting a lone girl
was walking on the silent roads of Kolkata . No single soul was out at
midnight. It was raining heavily since an hour but the girl didn't seem
to care about anything. The chaos in the sky, intense rainfall, the
heavy splatter of rain on her, the quietness of the road.. didn't bother
her the least. There was just only a single thought in her mind but she
thinks its her last chance to see him to apologize. Tomorrow he is
going to be discharged from hospital and once he is in his palace she
won't be able to go there.
Fortunately or Unfortunately she
doesn't know that the first thing he will do after his discharge from
hospital would be going to badi and to see if she is all right. But as
it is said that sometimes ignorance is a blessing.
She quickened
up her pace. A watery smile came across her face on seeing the hospital
building a few steps ahead. But instead of going to the hospital gate,
the girl turned to the dark alley on the left side of the hospital and
starts searching for a backdoor. Ten minutes pass like this in a futile
search of the backdoor. The girl somehow steadied herself and took a
long deep sigh. The only option which was now left to enter the building
was through pipes. She steeled all her resolve and tried to climb the
pipe. But her climbing journey was proving to be a very difficult one.
Somehow after lot of trials and errors she successfully reached besides
the window which leads to the 1st floor of the hospital. Without wasting
any time the girl quickly gets inside the window ..
She
observes that there isn't a single soul in the dimly lit corridor. She
looks here and there and observes her surroundings. She doesn't know
that exactly where Sanskaar's room is. She was shivering due to the cold
and her wet clothes . Every bone of her body was drenched in the rain.
But there is no turning back now. Swara is anything but a quitter . She
takes baby steps and approaches the next corridor. As soon as she turns
to the left side of corridor.. she hear someone's heavy footsteps. Swara
gets scared and tries to look for a place to hide. She finds a room
just two steps away from her . Luckily the door of the room was open .
She quickly gets in the room and locks the door from inside. A sigh of
relief escapes from her lips. She turns around curiously to analyze the
mysterious room in which she entered a few minutes ago .
As soon
as she turns around she saw him. There was he sleeping peacefully on
the hospital bed. Maybe he was under some effects of the medicines or
was dreaming in beautiful dream, she doesn't knows. But that one thing
about which she was quite clear was that never ever she has seen more
serene view in her life...or did see...? Even after many tries, she
can't take her eyes off from him. "Swara" she hears this soft whisper
which breaks her trance . Swara notices that her name was uttered by the
same person whom she was staring at few seconds back.. She sets her
eyes back upon the same person.. He is still sleeping calmly on the
hospital bed "How does he knows that I am here" this question racks her
mind and a tear slides down her face...the way she knew he was there
when she was staying in their room...that memory came with many more
tears and more burdening guilt...his voice echoing her mind " kaise bhul
gai tum humara pyar Swara...? I love you..." .. That memory was playing
on loop in her head. Pain in Sanskaar's voice was haunting her mind and
soul. A strong sense of guilt wracked her mind .. She took a few steps
back towards the door.
She was about to turn but again his voice
echoed in her mind "ek din tumhe meri khamosi aur mere pyaar ka ehsaas
zarur hoga and I'll wait for that day." That voice provided her the much
needed strength. She wipes her tears and took measured steps towards
the person of her muse. She was struck at the beautiful sight which was
soothing her heart and soul and tells herself 'nahi Swara tum abhi
peeche nahi hat sakti ' . With that thought and determined look in her
eyes.. She again strides towards his bed but this time her steps were
more confident .
Swara keenly observes the person lying on the
bed. For the first time ever she properly looks at the Sanskaar's face.
Sanskaar has always been the one who intrigued her the most. Despite her
mind giving her many warning signals to stay far away from him, her
heart always feels an beautiful unknown emotion in his presence 'he was
handsome or cute...? either way he can be man of any girl's dream' she
thought.
There was a small smile playing on his lips . Which
indicated Swara that his current muse was dreaming something beautiful. A
thought strikes in her mind at that moment, 'But his face looks
incomplete without those eyes, those eyes in which she can see herself,
those eyes which makes her feel more beautiful than she actually
is...!'
She kneels down in front of his bed and takes his right
hand protectively in her hand. His big rough hand felt good in her
comparatively smaller and softer hand. She stroked her thumb over his
palm in a circular motion. Not even once her eyes strayed away from his
face.. Slowly she raised her hand and kept it on Sanskaar's forehead to
sooth down few worry lines on his forehead.
' Was it her
imagination or his face seemed much calm from before or was it her touch
which was casting a calming effect on him or maybe his it was because
of his dream' she wondered. There were thousands of things which Swara
wanted to say but words were not coming out of her mouth. On her way to
the hospital she had practiced everything she wanted to tell him. At at
the current moment he was sleeping like a baby and she has no plans of
disturbing him. Her wish of seeing him safe and sound came true . Swara
just wanted to see him.
At that moment out of nowhere Sanskaar
Maheshwari opens his eyes. He blinks his eyes a couple of times to get
used to the bright light in the room. Swara and Sanskaar's eyes meet
each other after an eternity. He stares at her with an intense gaze that
makes her blush. Swara tries to open her mouth and utter few words .
But her own voice failed her, her lips remained glued and nothing came
out of her mouth. Sanskaar like always seems to sense her actual peoblem
and said "Jaise hi tum room mein aayi..mujhe pata tha ki ye tum hi ho
Swara" Swara who was mesmerised by his sleep induced voice immediately
snapped from her thoughts. "Kaise" A simple question involuntary left
from her mouth. "Tumhari dhadkano se, woh baat karti hai meri dhadkano
se...", he exclaimed . He further added " baat karti hai mujse jab tum
nahi bolti tabhi aur jab main sota hoon tabhi..." A tear slides down
Swara's face on hearing Sanskaar intense and loving yet painful voice.
His words stroked a chord straight in her heart. "Sanskaar" his name was
the only thing she could utter now.. She notices a moment and sees
Sanskaar slowly raising up his hand. He brings his hand closer to her
cheek. Her heartbeat rises with every moment of his and she looks on
confused at his actions. Suddenly she felt a soft touch of Sanskaar's
rough fingers wiping away the tears trails from her cheeks.
"Sorry
mere paas abhi handkerchief nahi hai" he says and a small smile appears
on her face. It was at that moment where she realises that only he can
make her smile or laugh; by his small gestures or by being that innocent
and weird Kissan. He is the key of her smile and she knows now that if
he is not there she can't smile hell she will not want to smile ever
again if he is not there.
. "Tumhe bata nahi sakta ki tumhari ye
smile maine kitni miss ki" he says with a big grin of his own. His
sentence made her smile even more large. She flashed her own bigger grin
towards him..
Both of them were sporting the same grin. It was
after many days they gave their genuine smile to each other.
Unfortunately this beautiful moment broke by a " Anchooo" Swara suddenly
sneezed loudly. The reality hits sanskar and he notices that his
princess was drenched in water. He tugs her hand and asks "tum thik to
ho na..? ye sab kya hai..?" He touches her face and notices her wet
hair. "Sanskar I'm fine in fact never been better.." she says flashing
an adorable grin. Sanskar would have lost himself in that grin but he
knew her way too well "Tum kaha se aa rahi ho swara..." he sternly
demands an answer from her. With that stern tone her smile vanishes from
her face. Sanskar hated that but there is no other way to get truth
from certain Mrs. Maheswari . She opens her mouth to tell him.. but
again she ends up blaberring in front of Sanskaar "Sanskaar.. woh..
pipe...rain... Sujatha aunty.. sorry." Sanskaar looks on amusingly at
Swara,but still maintains a stern facade in front of her.
'You are
an certified idiot now Swara, can't even mumble 2 complete sentences in
front of Sanskaar' she berates herself in her mind. Unknowingly or
knowingly Sanskaar voices the exact same thought of hers. "You are
definitely a certified idiot Swara" ,he says with a tinge of disapproval
in his voice. "Who roams Kolkata's streets at the midnight when its
raining cats and dogs and that too by using a pipe...Humari story mein
Romeo ka role play karna chahti ho tum? what if you had slipped from the
pipe..?" his tone changes from berating to a concerned one. He again
worriedly asks her while cupping her face, " Apne aap ko koi super woman
samajti ho kya tum ? what was the need or urgency ki tumhe mujhse milne
aise aana pada?"
And then it hits him that she is here to only
see and meet him. His heart exploded with happiness but a was small hurt
emotion somewhere in his mind, which was overpowering his heart. "
Swara main aaj raat ko marne nahi wala tha...aur" words stopped coming
of his mouth because of a loud exclamation of "Sanskaar" from the only
companion in the hospital room, his wife. She kept her palm on his mouth
to hush him from speaking further. She exclaimed, "Tum apne aap ko kya
samajhte ho Sanskaar, koi superhero.. kya zaroorat thi apni jaan ko
khatre mein dalne ki. Tumhe bata hai sab kitni pareshan the, tumhari mom
ka ro ro ke bura haal ho gaya tha, tumhare dad bilkul toot gaye the,
tumhara bhai or behen ko itna dukhi maine aaj tak kabhi nahi dekha, aur
meri .." She suddenly stopped speaking in midway. This was the very
first time when she spoke few proper sentences with an authoritive voice
since she entered the room. Silence found back its way into the gloomy
room. Until it was broken by "aur tum kya swara? " inquired Sanskaar.
"
Main.. muje laga meri saanse ruk gayi hai, main zinda hoon par meri
dhadkan ruk gai hai...I wanted to see u , touch u. I wanted to feel to
confirm that you are safe and sound. But your mom didn't let me enter
the main hospital gate. Look sanskar I m not complaining I know it was
my fault and she had all the right. Par just tumhe na dekhpane ka khyal
bhi mere dil ko tod deta hai...my heart bleeds when I remember what I
have done to u and our relationship..."
She says all in one breath. She was a mess, her voice was hoarse and tears fell continuously from her swollen eyes .
But
she still continued, "I am so sorry that i don't remember our love
sanskar but today i came here in middle of the night by climbing the
pipe to tell u that i am really sorry that i called you a khooni. I am
sorry that because of me you got a severe injury on your head". Her own
guilt and speech has mentally and physically exhausted her. She goes
down on her knees and continues while holding her ears" I am sorry k
tumhe meri wajah se apna ghar chodna pada.." she said while standing up.
" I am sorry ki tumhe kissan banna pada" she add while going down
again..." I am sorry ke maine tumhe thapad maara , I am sorry ke maine
tumahri baat nahi maani, I am sorry ke tum meri wajah se hospital me ho .
Iam sorry for everything...muje saza do sanskar chahe to thapad mar
lo...par apni zindgi se mat nikalo...main mar jaungi...please dont give
up on me. "and she breaks down completely on that cold hard ground...Author: Rhea & Helly
READ FULL FF HERE
Edited by PRINCESS_ALISHA - 7 years ago
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