Posted:
Hi, hello! Quite honestly, I've been stalking this forum since last year, but I was never inclined to post anything. I much preferred reading your posts, and the various one shots around. Until now.
This OS is something I just randomly wrote now - it's quite abstract in terms of a storyline; however I wanted to try and capture the lead couple's characterisation. I hope you enjoy reading this, and please do send me feedback. I haven't loved a tv couple this much since perhaps Abhi&Nikki from DMG, and I barely wrote for them - so I hope I can do this beautiful yet tragic pair justice!
Much love,
Sabiha
-||-
He couldn't believe it, not again! Each and every single time he felt as though it was going relatively well, something else just had to appear and set him back to square one. This farce of a wedding had been going on for weeks with no end in sight - and now he was to bear witness to something a little more ridiculous than before.
Why wouldn't (or couldn't) anyone understand that he wasn't interested in sacrificing his life this way? If he was interested in walking towards a slow death, he would have hung himself a long time ago. Par nahin, whatever dadi wanted was what was going to happen, no matter how stupid or regressive.
He knew how shrewd his dadi was; what he couldn't figure out was why she was so determined to make his supposed future father-in-law repent repeatedly. It changed nothing! He still couldn't accept that... that... he couldn't accept her as his wife. She had no place in his life, and she just wasn't who he wanted.
...not that who he wanted would ever admit she felt the same.
Which left him in the same conundrum; why on earth was he allowing all of this to happen?
He needed her in his life, and if it meant forcing himself to be patient, he would. He would head off to the mandir; the same one where he met her for the first time. It gave him renewed hope knowing that if nothing else, they would always have that connection. If he was her Ram, she was his forever Sita. He wouldn't let her go, and he wouldn't give up.
Finding new determination to make something right, he walked up the steps, familiarising himself with the haunting melody of prayer. That same prayer that she would recite, calming him down. He was going to do this, for them. He no longer cared about the traditions, he wouldn't bend to support a ridiculous notion. She came first.
"Always you Kali, sirf tum."
-||-
One would perhaps accept and reflect upon the continuous blame game occurring, if they had been paying attention to how badly they were being treated.
It said a lot for the young woman who was gingerly bandaging her hand, again, because her family just couldn't keep well enough alone. (Even though well enough meant she was the only one suffering.)
She loved her family, she did. No matter what anyone (him) said, her family came first. She was alive because of her badke papa. She was alive because for all her clumsiness, her inaptitude to grasp the bigger picture - and for all her innocence; she never stopped believing in a positive. She never stopped believing that just one day, everything would work out the way Ramji intended.
So what if that day hadn't arrived? It wasn't as if Shah Jahan managed to erect the Taj Mahal in a single day, right? It took multiple steps to achieve the type of contentedness and calm she was seeking. It wasn't as though she could suddenly become selfish- regardless of what someone implied; she just wasn't that person.
And yet... just this once, she wanted to feel like she could be wanted without being used as a pawn for someone's games (particularly his dadi). Just this once she wanted to believe that what her heart told was right, and she could indulge in feeling like she was just another woman; instead of the protector she was molded into.
Was it too much to ask? Could she allow herself a moment of utter weakness? Could she allow him to pull her into his arms with no regret? Could she...
It was with those thoughts that she somehow found herself running to the mandir that gave her solace; gave her companionship; but most importantly gave her the Ram she could only sense in her dreams.
"Yug!"
-||-
Hearing his name spoken so clearly and yet with emotions he couldn't grasp, Yug turned and found himself with an armful of a young woman he could only dream about holding. He stumbled slightly, almost unable to comprehend that she was actually in his arms, holding onto him as though he would somehow disappear.
Kaali was there, she was actually-
"Just- please don't let this be a dream. Don't let me go Kali, mujhse aur bardasht nahi hoga. Do you know how long I've waited for you? How long I've begged for you to just understand? Toh kyun Kali?"
-||-
She squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to picture the anguish. Kaali knew how much she had hurt him, and yet she knew by doing this, she was only going to further break his heart. All they had was a single moment; neither of them would actually break promises to their families. He was still going to marry her... her... he was still going to marry her.
That was the plan, the agreement.
...though in the moments they held each other, she was certain their bond had already transcended the decreed. In those moments, their hearts had beat as one; their breaths mingling with each other even if their faces were hidden in the other's embrace.
Their bond was as strong as Sita and her Ram; however, just as fleeting. They were each other's without being together. In this lifetime, all they had were reflections. And just with reflections, souls could be seen. For without that, she would forget she was worth the soul he had given to her freely and without hesitance.
"I understand, and yet I can't give you what you truly want Yug. It's yours, and that won't change. But I can't be who you marry, and I can't ruin more lives just to save our... bond. I'm sorry Yug, I'm sorry that I could only be your heart's reflection and not your reality."
-||-
end.
[please let me know what you think!]
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