Ram's address to Sita during Saat phere,and Sita's promises

If you look in the entire pheras you will see on thing common. The expression of Ram's feeling for getting Sita as his wife. Whereas Sita only promises about her duties. 

Ram feels thanful that Sita has choosen to take pheras with him. He feels happy, blessed and joyful as each phera is completed because such a noble woman has decided to follow him. 

And the 5th phera is the beauty where the woman is allowed to walk in front. He trusts her with the fact that she is capable of running the family with maryada, love and faith. All her actions will be based on the benefit of family and then to larger society. He gives her the right to partake all his punya karma. Note the point only punya karma, if a man does bad karma, wife is not affected. And with body, mind,wealth and life accepts her as his ardhagini or part of him, without whom going forward none of his actions will be complete. 

The point we specially need to note here is that, a man who is doing everything in his power to adhere to first four vachans will never feel insecure when his wife move forward. He will not have any problem sharing his accomplishments with her. By treating her as his part in all his activities, he is giving her equal right in the life. 

And woman we need to know that all her promises precede the man's promises. So if a man expects a woman to behave in a certain way, he has to take step to fulfill his responsibility. 

Just shouting, berating, beating around your wife, you will not get a happy home, she does not have any obligation to take care of you and your family, if you do not show respect to her. 

I want to highlight a very important point is the one a woman feels that she has not met the expectations of the man. She is at wrong. Men have the habit of putting blame on the woman and shrieking responsibility and accountability. For any problem they will point the fingers at the woman. 

Problem at office, because wife is creating problems at home. Didnt get promotion, wife was bickering and he couldnt concentrate. Children are not behaving right, wife is not taking care of them. Children are bad in studies. Wife is not teaching them properly. 

Simple meal. How dare she make it like this. He has no car, house. Problem she didnt bring dowry.  Someone harassed a woman. Who asked you to go alone. 

More than the physical abuse, many women go into depression mode because of this emotional abuse and pointing fingers for each and everything at them by the so called men. Even when his family berates her, beats her to the extend of aborting the female featus inside her, this man stands mute because he is expected to do so and it is the woman's problem she cant get along with his family or bear a male child. 

To all those women I want to tell. Our culture asks man to keep his promises first. When a man keeps his promises, more than 80% of the women will keep their promises . Because woman as a race nurtures. Mamta is her inherent quality. Not just for the child, but as a whole she is a protecting and nurturing force if loved and respected. Sita says for a woman her husband is God. Pati paremshwar hai. Yes a woman will treat her husband God and will never do anything that will have any adverse effect on your maryada willingly. 

I have talked about man taking accountability and the woman following him. Now if the man keeps his promises loves and respect you, stop cribbing. Listen to what Sita said. She says she will run the house with what is available in the home. Understand your husband's financial position, use the resources correctly and with intelligence. Dont make him run to some loan mafia's because you need car, flat and other luxury items. Dont encourage unnecessary borrowing because of you. We see many family suicides because of default in payment of loans. 

You are a married woman. Understand that and behave accordingly. Never betray the trust and faith he kept on you. Let not your mind falter to flimsy things and you end up in extra marital affairs and other things. In all your actions remember his maryada and act accordingly. Let no action of yours result in him standing with bowed head in front of society. 

Try to keep home pleasant. Encourage good habits. Take time to spend with your family. Speak to your husband, children. Partake in auspicious activities, conduct auspicious activities. Dont go around gossipping and spreading false news and if possible dont watch stupid serials that promote polygamy, witchcraft, subjudication, conspiracy and other things. Instead watch something that is beneficial to you as in individual and that can help you in giving good knowledge to your family. In nutshell dont go for mindless entertainment. Go for entertainment that also enriches you. I am not telling watching only satsang and all. But there are many other programmes movies, even some teleshows that gives positive message. Good fiction can be read. All this enriches you as a person. 

You are a woman. In your hand you hold the power of next generation. Understand the power and use it sensibly if you have got a right life partner.

Shruth as usual extremely well put across.

Both sets of rails running parallel.

Connected by sleepers. (The wooden beam)

The rails themselves do not cross each other at any point.

Both have their own importance.

Both need to be grounded and stay firm.

If one weakens the entire track weakens.

Maaraige is not the smallest thing in life ...it is the turning point of both a mean and women life..

Before maaraige a women is only a daugter,,a sister...and and women

 most importingly as self...BTW...maaraige doent mean loosing urself either...!...just hate those superstitious norm which condems a women to chane herself...aftermaarage adjust is another thing ...adjust is natural as new environment and people but to bound them under the shackels of stupid and just illogical norms is just pathetic...!

and same goes with...men

but after maaraige.the what actual responsibility..of broughting up an another society together...held on both the men

Maraaige isl like an weighing machine and railway track where...both tracks hasto be run parrelel...underwise the instituation will manfuntion and will lead to an major backhold!!

Most of the domestic now a days is the reason where..women...do not...converse openly to her husband thinking they fail to leave expectations of her husband and hence result is obvious similarly men to ...thinking that he is unable to fulfil her s family desire and so on...and hence...the frustration levels...shoots up and result in verbal abuse...and if the levls goes higher then turn to Domestic violence.

and the reason is...the bigeesst COnvo problem.

if a men and women converse properly thier problems...then there lies no problem in ...thier lives...

A women if tskes oth to fufil her all duty then she can do to any extent to fulfil it...a men should understand...this thing

Similarly...if a men is ready to fulfil her duties hole heartedly then it the duty of women to...be with him on the path...with understanding him whole heartedly...

Balance have to maintain ,,,,,by both mean and women...!

Shruthi kya kehne aapke...😳 you read my mind so well and put up with so much ease. 😃 

The episode was marvellous ⭐️ I hope they maintain this level throughout. And what should I say about your post... 😛 need to search more adjectives 😆 beautiful as usual..

There have been rounds on how the show is a distorted version. I as a writer and a storyteller would call it as an art of storytelling. The way the makers have weaved a message in every scene is commendable. Plus, they have opened up loops which shall culminate in the future. And as a writer and a content oriented person I look forward to this very aspect. Will they complete these loops or leave them haywire like other shows? 

Shruthi as you analyse the scenes, I would love to talk of the loops in your thread, if u grant me permission 😳

Coming to the saatpheres, I agree with you about ram's repetitive address to sita as a token of love and gratitude. He found himself to be luckiest as she chose him not coz that he had broken the bow but coz she had liked him in person. She didn't chose him only for strength, but also for his innermost traits. She saw in him a soul that was pure, kind and loving. He thanked her for believing that her life would be fulfilling with him, without giving a thought of how their future may be. With every vachan a loop is opened, one has to wait how it shall culminate.  

For instance, at third vachan my heart cringed as ram vowed to be dedicated and loving to his wife and children. The way this has opened up is wow!!! Sheer wow!! Such an irony... The man who vows to be attentive,alert and devoted to his kids and wife shall abandon them at a crucial point. So will this vachan have a loop closure? Ram even though sent sita on exile, lived only with her. His wife, his children were always in his thoughts. Yes, he was dedicated to his wife and children through those years. Nobody noticed but sita always knew this. 

In today's world it is difficult to find such men. On the contrary, distance doesn't matter. Even if living together, their minds and souls are separated. It was a flip side then. 

Sita vows to run her house with whatever she has. A normal person would laugh at this. A girl getting married off in a city of gold takes such a vow. But this was true when they were on exile. She managed with what all she had. 

The most of all I loved was the vachan of friendship. It was bang on. The people who believe that friendship has nothing to do with marriage, pls give a second thought to it. 

One more loop that seems to have opened up is lakshmila. I actually loved the placement of mandaps. Ram sita separate facing the other three couples. And heading the trio were lakshmila. If the jaimala vidhi is observed carefully, after siya ram, shatrughna-kirti, bharat-mandvi and at last lakshmila ( even when they were in front). Siya ram facing them was somewhere an indication, that their life is going to seriously affect and inspire the other three couples. Lakshmila in the front was a clear indication that their sacrifice would be as great as siya-ram. The worst affected would be bharat and hence mandvi. They were in the middle and behind were shatrughna- shruthkirti. Whenever bharvi would lose their peace, balance and motivation shatrughna-kirti shall give them a base to fall on. I see them as those pillars who will keep the balance intact. Lakshman as usual would be the shadow of both ram and sita will leave behind a reflection named urmila. Am seeing urmila as a very independent individual character that has been crafted. Being the first in the trio, She'll face a greater dilemma of wait Vs worth, where to focus? 

The placement technically was in chronology of janaka's and kushaldhwaja's daughters but I see an uncanny  depth in it.. 😆

I see bharat as a reflection of both sita and ram. He has patience, love, conviction, dedication as ram and a sense of intuition as sita. Here I recall a dialogue by him to kaikeyi- "vishwaas kisi tark ya pramaan par aashrit ho, aavashyak toh nahi?" 

And the same was told by sita to ram on his confrontation with her in the temple. 

The cvs have drawn clever parallelism with every character and scene. 

It was such a wonderful portrayal of the marriage and the various meanings of the rituals .

It was  interestingly shown as both Ram and sita taking their vows thereby explaining the Saath phere ka mahatv !

Loved your take on the avoidance of certain typesetting if Entertainment !

Absolutely,that's one thing people should seriously think and take action .

These days it seems like another addiction problem as sometimes even after realising that they serve no purpose other than wasting one's time or at te most fill up the mind with needless negativity !

Days of just Doordarshan were far more peaceful , I guess! Today's immense choice of entertainment has not been put to good use by many .

If only people get the real sense of education ( other than the means for commercial success), people would be in a better mind frame to be able to look at self and society in a larger context !

Meaness , selfishness etc will be checked with the right kind of knowledge but this is not so today .

Though family too has a very important role to play in the development of good and sensitive individuals , somehow , the education system could be a strong factor in the process.

In my opinion , the main reason  for most of the problems today is the lack of right type of eduction .

The education system has successfully de linked our culture from the process thereby giving a very wrong set of values .determinents of success has been narrowed down to just financial success !

As long as children are not taught right kind of stories , values in the early childhood quite strongly , it seems like getting over and above one's individual needs and to be able to see a larger purpose of life will not be possible . 

Elders too need to set good examples to younger generation .infact many households face the problem where the elders get hooked to television shows (especially serials !!!) and the younger kids too get exposed to unnecessary negativity ! This is something that needs correction ! 

Only when ,every individual realise their responsibilities towards others such as family and society will there be more peace and prosperity in the society .

Now there only seems to be more of a competition in exhibiting who could care less !

But then , coming to these forums and reading posts of different members does give a hope of some revival sooner !

Change is happening though in a pace of its own !

Sorry drifted away a lot from Siya aur Ram!

@Yes Savitha today Ram spoke in words his feelings for Sita

@manno yes communication is a problem. But for the right communication you need right knowledge. Sometimes communication can happen with right action also without a single word spoken. But the problem is today's youngsters dont know to communicate in real, they are fine in the virtual world, but not in the real world. Going for the illusion many are missing the reality. Virtual has to be an extension of real, not a substitute

@vipraja my bro watches cricket matches and that wwf boxing and most occasions even if exams is there he cant keep away from it. So when he was in 12th my mom asked him beta if we dont have cable connection for a year will it affect you. He said he feels like watching when it is there, if it is not there he doesnt feel the need. The entire family had no cable connection for a year to support him study well. Because it was not possible that we watch and ask him to keep away. It was 12th, His future was at stake, so as a family we decided let us not have any entertainment that can adversely affect his studies. My mom was watching many shows at that time, even I was watching couple of shows. But we all gave up for his sake so that he doesnt feel like watching cricket or wwf during his board exams. So if they want to inculcate in good values in kids, they will have to take some pain. Else there is no point lamenting about your kids. Because values have to driven strongly before they are 12-13. And they have to be firmed up before they turn 18 so that at every point they take the right choice.