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You will think why I took this line for today's discussion. The key reason being this was a line against societal norms of those days.
In our society girls are asked to tolerate. A man can do anything. But a girl she cannot choose. Her father decides the marriage for her without asking her. Because he knows what is right for her. A husband takes decision for her. When to get married, what to study you name it girls have restrictions because the society is like that and family expects girls to understand and behave themselves.
And it is the same Sita's sisters is telling her. She cannot get a man who will be committed to one wife. They have to learn to adjust with their souten sisters and live their life. Their parents will decide their marriage and who ever they choose best for them they have to abide.
But Sita believes there will be someone like her father who will stick to one wife. No Maya in the world will affect him in such a way so as to he deviate from his dharma. A man will love her only with body, mind and soul and will not think about another woman for whatever reason.
And here her belief stems from the fact that if there is Janak there has to be someone like him. So she keeps her expectation of her life partner very high.
So it all brings back the question. What is the reference point you take. Her sisters take the common men around them or the majority and decide this is the norm. But Sita looks at exception, her father.
So as a girl what do you want. Norm or the exception. If you want exception, make sure the exception notices you. Just like the eyes of the woman looking out for the exceptional man, the eyes of that man is also looking out for an exceptional woman. A woman different from the norm.
For the simple reason to walk the life with him, an ordinary woman will not be able to do. She will not have the strength to support him in the tough duties he has to do.
To put forth the point I will give the personal experience of mine. I had an arranged marriage. I was a girl who simply didn't like the custom of girl seeing. People coming looking you up, down I hated it. And I used to tell I don't like it. I would prefer to meet the guy in informal circumstances and if both are comfortable then other formalities can happen.
And 10-15 years back in a very patriarchal community such things were not heard of. Everyone who had heard my blabbering will tell me to shut up and understand the ground realities. They told girl seeing ceremony will happen. Then I should not be putting conditions like how the guy should be, because I use to blabber around I want someone like my youngest uncle. Jovial, caring and empathetic.
But what I wanted happened. After the horoscope match was done, my husband got my mobile number from some mutual contacts, called me and told if it is fine for me if we could meet in cafeteria before the girl seeing ceremony. I told my parents his request and they called his parents. They told he had called with their permission. I would say he had me with that call and in the cafeteria we talked for about 1 hr on various things though we were meeting for the first time.
And in the evening he called and asked me whether I have any issues can they proceed with the formal ceremony with his parents and sisters. I said yes. And neither did I take tea cups, nor did I stand in front of anyone. When they came, just like I would be talking to other guests I was talking to his mother and sisters.
Yes I searched for the exception and I would say I got the exception. So think whether you want the norm or the exception. Never compromise for the norm. Raise the bar. That exclusive, exceptional man is waiting for you 😃( Disclaimer :Last line only for unmarried girls 😃)
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