Hopeless & Helpless
"I think I'm in love with your sister," he blurted out suddenly.
Her silverware dropped with a clatter, and her already large eyes widened comically. "You're WHAT?"
Taken aback by the sudden loud outburst, nearby patrons at the Amritsar Clubhouse looked up curiously. Some of the people in the pool, stopped swimming and stared. Kunj smiled at them apologetically. His companion was too shocked and horrified to care. When everyone went back to their own business, he looked back to meet her glare.
"I know," Kunj sighed. "This is an awful situation, but I just don't know what to do anymore. I can't keep ignoring it."
"I can't believe you," she hissed angrily, slamming her fist down onto the table. "How could you?"
"I know," he repeated tiredly, defeated. "I'm sorry. What do I do now?" Head bowed in shame, he waited for her furious tirade.
"Jeeju! We had a deal!" Bubbly groaned exasperatedly. "We decided that we were going to make Didi fall in love with you first. Why did you have to screw it up?"
The chubby-cheeked girl was livid. She had devised such an incredible plan to get her sister to fall in love first with Kunj, and now her jeeju had spoiled all her careful plotting. It would have been a spectacular plan and Twinkle would finally realise how perfect her husband was and then all thoughts of Yuvi would forever be discarded. Of course, Kunj had no idea of all this. Bubbly had explained that it was all a revenge plot, to get back at Twinkle for accusing him falsely. He had disparagingly agreed and they had spent precious months scheming.
But now it all had to come to an end and all because of the traitor sitting in front of her.
Kunj flinched as his sister-in-law glared dangerously at him. He knew it was a bad idea to tell her, but he couldn't help himself. Being in love, made him want to shout it from rooftops, but he thought he'd better tell his co-conspirator first. He planned to bring it up casually at their usual Friday meeting, after he informed Bubbly about his progress, but then he saw her staring at him with knowing eyes and he needed to confess.
As anticipated, Bubbly was not pleased.
Who would have thought that falling in love with your own wife would be such a crime? Sure, it put a huge dent in their plans, but it was workable. Wasn't it?
Kunj tried to placate her quickly, before matters got more out of hand. "I said I'm sorry okay. It's just hard not to when she's being so...so cute."
Eyes glazed over, Kunj looked dazed, dreamy as he thought about his wife. Bubbly was horrified.
"Snap out of it jeeju. She's the enemy!" She exclaimed incredulously. "Enemies aren't cute! You can't fall in love with the enemy!"
"Well, she is my wife too." He shrugged casually, trying not to look as panicked as he felt. "I think it's quite reasonable to love your wife. In fact, some would say it's expected."
"Yes, but do you love her or are you in love with her?" She demanded impatiently.
Kunj scowled. She really was Twinkle's sister. Twinkle asked hard questions too. "I haven't really decided yet."
"Jeeju..." came the low, threatening voice through gritted teeth.
"Okay fine! Yes! I'm in love with her!" Kunj finally admitted. He was flailing his arms around like a fanatic and looked frustrated. "I know she only has half a brain and comes up with the most idiotic harebrained schemes that do nothing, except land us in more trouble, but Twinkle is my wife and I love her."
It was a relief to finally speak the words out aloud, it felt as if a huge weight had lifted off of his chest. He felt relieved, until he noticed his sister in-law glaring at him. Immediately he felt embarrassed about his sudden outburst.
Bubbly glowered at him, "you fell in love with her stupidity?"
"It's one of her more endearing qualities," he replied coolly. He already sounded besotted. It wouldn't do, if he suddenly broke into song about his wife's beauty and endless charm and innocence. Bubbly would think him to be obsessed with her sister. No, he shuddered internally, it wouldn't do at all.
"Have you actually told her how you feel?"
"Well, I thought it would be kind of obvious by now!" Kunj cried, "I mean I've been trying to show her that I care in all sorts of ways. I'm being nice to her. I don't call her animal names anymore and I don't even throw pillows at her when we fight. I even bought her a ten kilo deluxe hamper from the Butter Club last week." He claimed proudly. He thought the last one was quite brilliant. Twinkle had been thrilled and Nikki Bhabhi looked positively green with envy when the gift wrapping came off to reveal piles and piles of decadent, creamy, imported butter.
"When I told you to buy her gifts, I meant flowers and chocolate or jewellery! Not butter!" She slapped a hand over her forehead. This was just too much. She had instructed him to buy her sister sweet, romantic gifts that would make her fall head over heels for him - not something stupid like butter. Who the hell bought their wife butter as a present? This was ridiculous.
"Hey, you said that it should be thoughtful! Butter is thoughtful!" Kunj defended himself. "Twinkle reminds me of butter. Her heart is as soft as butter. It melts so easily." He explained, then as an afterthought, he quietly added, "her skin is like butter too. Soft and smooth."
"So you bought your wife ten kilos of butter." Bubbly deadpanned. "Don't
complain to me when she becomes a beached whale."
"I wouldn't care," he shrugged, looking dreamy again. "She'd still be beautiful to me."
Finally her expression softened, and a smile broke across her face. She felt light-headed, giddy with happiness for her beloved brother in-law. After so much hardship and drama, things were finally falling into place. To hell with the plan, Bubbly decided. She'd come up with a new one, in lieu with the situation.
"Now that's true love," Bubbly smiled brightly. "All you need to do now, is tell her that!"
Kunj gulped, recalling his wife's temper. "Do I have to? I mean I think she knows. I mean, I hope she does. At least she should. I've been leaving hints." He rambled incessantly.
"Jeeju, jeeju, jeeju," Bubbly sighed dramatically, musing at the hopelessness of all men alike. "Always remember that women are like police. They can have all the evidence in the world, but they still need a confession."
"So you think I should tell her?"
"I think you have to."
"What if she slaps me?"
"She probably will." Bubbly agreed cheerfully.
"Thanks for the vote of confidence," Kunj muttered sarcastically, as he gestured a waiter for their bill.
Bubbly giggled at his disgruntled expression. "Don't worry jeeju. She'll kiss it better later. For now just tell her how you feel."
Though he was nervous, Kunj decided that he would tell his wife the truth.
No matter what happened.
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