I'm back again after being AWOL for a while and here is something I came up with just now.
It's not just Swasan and for the majority of first part, the main focus is Ragini.
It is the first time I'm trying my hand at something like this and I must confess that I am really scared of the reaction.😆
I initially planned it to be a one shot, but it got too long to be included in a single post, so I decided to split it into a two shot.
I must warn you that this is immensely long, in fact the longest i have ever written.
I still don't know about the ending too, I had written too much and had a bit of trouble ending it.
The final warning is that it has not been proofread, so expect a lot of errors and typos.
I am still not sure of it, but here it goes anyway.🤔
REDEMPTION
Swara sat beside Ragini, gently clasping one of her hands, a worried look on her face. She didn't know what they were doing there and was a little fearful of the consequences. Ragini in turn was smiling, her beautiful eyes were no longer deluded, and these days they looked really calm. The madness that resided in them was long gone, now replaced by a deep regret and acceptance. It was so easy now, she thought, if only I knew how easy it was before. She loved her life these days. The days she had spent at the mental institution had taught her. She had struggled, she had given up, and she had even tried to end everything once. But she was saved in nick of time by her mother, both her mothers actually. Sharmishta had come for her weekly visit when she saw her daughter unconscious on the bathroom floor in a pool of blood flowing from her left wrist. The doctors had later revealed that had Sharmishta been five minutes late, it would have been impossible to save Ragini. Sharmishta had been beside herself that day and had made Ragini promise on her life that she would never do such things again, once she woke up. Ragini had smiled and told her Maa that she now realized how blind she had been, that she was too stupid in the love of one person that she failed to see all those around her who loved her more than she could imagine.
It was that day that she had finally allowed Swara near her again. While talking to her Ma, she had seen Swara standing behind everyone looking distraught. She had bags under her eyes which seemed permanent and was thinner than Ragini had ever seen her. She was not even crying and her expression looked dead, as if everything good had been drained out of her. Ragini knew that look very well; it had been the same look she saw gazing back at her every morning through the mirror for the past few months. Sensing Ragini's gaze Swara mentally steered herself to turn back and to withdraw from the brightly lit room. She had long since accepted the fact that Ragini hated her sight, that Swaragini was dead both together and apart. But Ragini had smiled at her, she smiled at her in the same way she did when they had first decided to unite their parents. Swara felt her eyes widen in shock and after a long time, Swara felt something that she had almost forgotten, a ray of hope. She had walked towards Ragini as in a trance, stood before her with the most vulnerable expression on her face, not knowing what to do. Ragini was not surprised, she knew Swara, and she knew that once she showed her the tiniest gesture that she wanted her sister back, Swara would come running to her in a flash. So many times she had taken this for granted, she thought with a pang. But not anymore she decided with finality. That life was over, she had ended it with her own hands. This was a new life that lay ahead of her and there was so much that she had to do.
She looked into Swara's hollow eyes; she knew that though they looked blank, in their depths they contained an amount of love that could not be understood, not just for her but for everyone else too. Swara was just too drained now; she was too drained of giving too much. It was more than what Ragini could take and she had thrown her hands around her sister and held her for the first time in a long time. It was too much for Swara, she had been a living corpse for the last four months and she felt something inside her break. It was a tiny whimper at first, barely audible, but it was soon followed by another and another. Soon Swara was crying her eyes out her body shivering with silent screams. She kept talking about how worried she was, how she had been struggling for the past months, how she never wanted anyone to get hurt and if there was any way for things to go back to how they were. Ragini just held her, listening to every word, offering her comfort when required. She didn't cry, she realized that she lost the right to cry. She vowed to herself that she would only cry when Swara truly smiled. Till then she would endure, she would be strong for Swara, God knows that Swara had done her share of being strong for others. Swara had fallen asleep that day being too tired from crying so much, her head resting on Ragini's lap. Ragini gently stroked her hairs her mind in turmoil. She had a lot on her mind, something that she didn't tell anyone and something which would be her secret for days to come. She had seen her mother, her birth mother.
Ragini did not know if it was a dream or not, but walking through the fine line between life and death, she had lived another life, a life of realizations and awakenings. She had laid on the bathroom floor unmoving for a very long time. She didn't feel the blinding pain from her slashed wrist, she just felt numb, and she just wanted to end it. She had felt the last threads of consciousness leave her and had welcomed it with open arms. She was going to die, she knew it, and when she finally opened her eyes she thought that she truly did because she was in front of her, the one person she had spent her whole life yearning to meet. Her mother, Janki. The smiling form of her mother stood in front of her, looking at her with nothing but love in her eyes, just the way she always imagined. Ragini looked back at her, overwhelmed. She realized that she had died. But she felt confused to see her mother in front of her; she was one of them who were doomed to the depths of hell. How can her mother, who must surely be in heaven, be in front of her? She kept looking at her mother at a loss of words.
Janki enveloped her daughter in her arms and gently stroked her hair. Ragini stood numbly, too afraid to move. Janki moved back still holding one of Ragini's hands and cupped her face with her other hand.
"Kya kar diya tune laado?'
Janki asked, but not the way papa, dadi or Sharmishta Maa asked, with disappointment and anger in their eyes, her mother asked it with love, with genuine concern in her eyes. Ragini had faltered before her question; the truth was that she no longer knew. All those strings which kept Lakshya tied to her heart had been cut off once she was woken up. That was a different life, she had given it up. Those feelings ceased to mean anything to her now. So she stared dumbly back, not sure how to answer the question in front of her.
Her mother slowly shook her head, squeezing her hand a little. Then she showed her. And by that, Ragini was stunned beyond her wits. She saw her family in front of the emergency room. She saw Sharmishta ma arguing with the doctor with fiery eyes, telling him that her daughter couldn't die, that they had to save her. She saw her Nani ma, comforting her Dadi ma, who looked absolutely distraught muttering some prayers, shaking with little sobs. She saw her Papa sitting in one of the hospital chairs, looking completely lost with a defeated expression on his face. She saw Lakshya near her father, trying to reassure him, offering him his comfort. Then she saw Swara, she was sitting in front of the little mandir in the hospital, her hands folded, her eyes red. Sanskar was standing behind her, with his concerned eyes never leaving her frail form.
She turned back to her mother, her face conveying her disbelief.
"But they hate me now. I betrayed them. Why are they? I don't understand"
Janki was still smiling. "What did you think laado? That your family can hate you? No sweetheart. They don't." She asked "Do you know how lucky you are to have a family like that? And to think you were going to throw it all away. How stupid can you be laado?"
"I didn't know maa." Ragini couldn't stop the sob that escaped her. "I thought they hated me." And then a terrible thought struck her. She let out a desperate sigh, "What did I do maa?" she stated hysterically "I didn't know. I never realized and now when I did, it's too late."
Her mother shushed her."It's not laado. If it was, I wouldn't be here." She said in her gentle voice. "You can go back, you get all of them back but only if you chose to go back. It's all up to you laado. You mother didn't have this choice, but you do. Please choose wisely. And always know this in your heart sweetheart, that your mother loves you with all her heart."
Ragini felt her eyes water, she was waiting her whole life to hear those words. She smiled through her tears. "I love you too maa, more than everything else.", she said in a chocked whisper.
Her mother kissed her forehead, Ragini closed her eyes in contentment. She opened them to find her mother gone. There was only darkness around her now. She heard the beeping of some machine and for the first time felt the blazing pain in her wrist. She heard someone gasp loudly and call out for the doctor. And Ragini knew, that she had come back, she knew that she had lots to do, lots of things to mend.
And as she gently stroked Swara's silky strands, she felt her resolve harden. She owed them all a lot. She would make everything right. She had to.
That was the reason they were now sitting on the royal couch at Maheswari mansion. Annapurna and Sujata sat in front of them, conversing with the sisters about how life has been. They had long since forgiven Ragini, after they came to know about her disease and was really glad to have her home. It had been two months since Ragini had woken up, two months since Swara never left her side. For the first two weeks, Swara didn't let her get off the bed. She took care of her in the way only Swara could; she spent all her time taking care of Ragini. But Ragini knew now, because in this life she was a lot more perceptive. She knew that Swara was trying to hide from her demons. As much as Swara tried to hide the lingering sadness in her eyes, how much she put on a happy facade in front of their family, Ragini noticed it. She knew Swara was hurt, and she knew the exact reason why Swara was hurt. That was why she was here, to seek Swara's happiness, to reunite her with the one her heart desired. And she knew very well that it wasn't Lakshya.
Part-2 - Below.
