Riya might be annoying- but that doesnt mean its ok to bully her

Just had to put this out there...

Looking at many people's (not everyone) posts I can see there's this Riya versus Khusiya camp going on and the thing is they are both to be blamed in different ways. There isn't anyone who is the goody goody here. Riya isn't responsible for Khusiya's happiness- she didn't get married into that family to be Khusiya's hero. She got married because for some (questionable) reason she fell in love with a boy. So for those who are looking to Riya to be the saviour- well that's just unfair and its not right. Khusiya is experienced and elder to this girl- for her to speak to her like that (kitchen scene) within just a few days of her joining the family was uncivilised and rude no matter how justified she felt. You can be annoyed with someone (because they're different to you, they can't cook or whatever it is) but jesus- you don't have to attack them for it! She was really nasty. Some people are saying that because khusiya hesitated to take the sari then that alone means she has some respect for Riya. And on the other hand, many people have said that riya lies when it suits her. Her dadi told her not to tell her MIL and she made the decision not to. Because dadi is eldest/manipulative blah blah blah. But dadi also told Khusiya not to tell her DIL that she took the saris- and she also listened because MIL is eldest/manipulative blah blah. Sooo- why is khusyia seen as some saint just because she hesitated' to take the saris (EVEN after preeti told her it was outright wrong) but riya is seen as some kind of scheming cow because she kept something from her MIL? If you remember well, Riya ALSO hesitated quite a fair bit to keep the truth about her breaking the fast from Khusiya. She wasn't exactly rubbing her hands together with an evil grin on her face with her dadi-saas was she? She hesitated, she felt bad for keeping something from her MIL, she even told shivam that she wanted to tell her the truth but shivam ALSO stopped her. So what now? Khusiya hesitates and that means she is a saint? And riya hesitates and what-she's still crucified for keeping the fast-breaking thing from her MIL? Double standards much? I don't like either of them but that doesn't mean they should be judged unfairly. Khusiya acted like a bitch towards riya in the kitchen- riya fell asleep probably cuz she had to get up so early and do the cooking. She doesn't know how to cook and it was painfully obvious that she wasn't supposed to get any help from anyone, so even if she asked for help she wouldn't get it. And yes Khusiya and her daughters ended up helping, but god- at what a cost! Riya was humiliated the entire time...and Im beginning to wonder if Khusiya helped her more because she didn't want to get taunted by shanti that her DIL is useless than doing it out of love. If khusiya had been helping her out of love- then those vicious and cruel looks she had been giving Riya throughout that whole scene would have been non-existent. People have said that Khusiya disciplines her own daughters like that when they have done something wrong- eeerrr no- she's never spoken so demeaningly and disgustedly at anyone to date. In fact I would rather Khusiya have given riya a slap rather than the WAY she spoke to her; taunting about her being motherless and essentially making fun of her inability to be a goody goody housewife like herself. Even the relieved look on her face when she thought shanti was happy with the food- it was as if she had done the cooking to cover her own backside rather than do it out of love to help riya. What imbecilic khusiya doesn't understand however- is that no matter what she does, shanti will ALWAYS find fault with her. If she helped riya- as we saw, she got scolded. If she hadn't helped riya- she would have been taunted for having a useless DIL and shouted at for not doing her job properly as a new MIL. Khusiya cant win and she just doesn't get that- after 30 odd years of abuse, she still doesn't get that.

So what...are we supposed to laugh and mock at riya because she cant cook or something? Does THAT make her ignorant or stupid? Because its just as much prejudice to judge someone for not being able to be a good "housekeeper" as it is to judge someone for not being able to read or write or analyse Shakespeare. She garnered an education for herself and developed a career- she didn't have a mum and running with a one parent family the money had to come from somewhere right? So when would she have had time to learn to cook? So just because shes a woman and shes young does that mean she should know how to do the housework? Sensing some sexism there too to be honest. Let me make it clear- I don't even like her character. She was supposed to be someone who was savvy and someone who could see between the cracks of the family- her character has turned into a simpering idiot. Yes. I agree. But...that does not mean it is ok for khusiya to treat her like that. Shes a person, not a damned maid or servant. Shes a daughter-in-law, supposed to be the "Laxmi' of the family. Laxmi indeed! So far shes been treated like a splinter in someones backside and she hasn't done anything malicious or nasty to deserve that kind of behaviour. Shes been moronic- yeah- but she hasn't purposefully been cruel or mean to anyone. I cant say the same for Khusiya and Neemi- sari burning, temper tantrums, motherless mocking, khusiya's disgusted looks at her. Jesus shes not a dog- you wouldn't even treat a dog like that. Cant those women vent their anger on sarla instead? Now riya has become the verbal punching bag. And a lot of people have been saying that everyone is supporting riya because shes pretty or gorgeous or whatever- I think to say something like that about the commenters on here is a little insulting. I mean give us some credit lol we don't all get wooed by pretty eyelashes and cheekbones- a lot of us just care about what is right and what is wrong and fair. I personally think Nimmi is the most beautiful- aesthetically she's stunning. But her personality reeks of immaturity and ignorance. This girl knows better- she knows how manipulative shanti is and she knows riya is a prime target for that manipulation- shes even told everyone that shanti will use riya to go against them and yet still this imbecile wont say anything to her new sil. Its ridiculous.

Its not riya's fault if there is some jealousy with khusiya and neemi. That's their bloody problem- their brother and son had to get married at some point so of course they would have to split the affections from him. C'mon grow up. As for khusiya looking to riya to be the one to look after her and turn into a mini-khusiya... well whose expectation is that? Its hers and its unrealistic and downright unfair and inappropriate to be honest. If khusiya chose not to speak up to her MIL her entire married life then that was her decision to make- the situation she finds herself in with shanti and sarla is her own doing...don't go waiting for some saviour sweetheart. Respect yourself and save yourself first- the world isn't going to come and sweep you off your feet if you wont do anything to help yourself, so how dare she (OR Nimmi or Preeti) expect riya to be the one to make things easier for her? When you do for yourself others will do for you. She wants to continue being shantis punching bag and expect riya to following her footsteps. Come on. That's not riyas responsibility- take some goddamned responsibility for yourself for a change. You'll be a grandmother soon enough- will you continue this imbecility when your grandchildren have to suffer through all this too?

Khusiya doesn't know how to deal' with riya because she doesn't even know how to deal with herself first of all. If she had a bit of self-respect she wouldn't allow shanti devi to demean her- not at this bloody age! She'll be an old woman soon enough and still she allows people to treat her like that?! And on top of it- it not only affects her but its ruining her children's lives... if khusiya cant sort THAT out, then she certainly cant guide riya in a wise and mature way, that's for sure. Already shes told the girl to keep her mouth shut and never speak up to her elders no matter what. Yeah- real sage advice there love.

I personally don't think Riya is being bullied at all she's clever enough to work out what's right n wrong herself but blindly follows what daddi n sarla say as though it's set in stone especially as she has already witnessed first hand how devious sarla actually is with all the wedding shenanigans. Kushiya had every right to be upset with Riya with the cooking after walking into the kitchen to find her sleeping and the food burning this was after kushiya wanted to stay in the kitchen to help her and to make herself look good Infront of daddi Riya assured her she would be fine doing the cooking alone Riya should have at that point just said "daddi I don't know how to cook can I have my MIL just supervise me" I find her a hypocrite coz why lie Infront of daddi then when later she told daddi the food was made by kushiya (even though her MIL had asked her not to say) because she doesn't lie she was also wrong to say about the saris Infront of everyone especially after the scene that had just taken place about her breaking her fast (another lie she had let her MIL to believe she's good at sticking to not lieing) Nimmi was right Riya just wants to please daddi all the time and she doesn't take anyone else into consideration including shivam ok I agree she's new in the house but no1 has been overly nasty to her shanti is so abusive to kushiya so at least she Isent being treated like that she forgetting how much priti n Nimmi helped her during the wedding thy are still being civil with her and not completely boycotting her. Kushiyas the MIL not Riya if priti or Nimmi had made such blunders with the cooking then kushiya would've scolded them just as much if not more (she slapped Nimmi during the pooja after the sari incident but forgave Riya for belittling her in the first place) I thought this show was supposed to be about Riya coming to the house and making changes n supporting her MIL in all the wrong doings towards her but it seems like it's just about Riya being daddis chumchi

@coolbeans-👏 Brilliant post. agree with points.

Originally posted by: Bushi786

I personally don't think Riya is being bullied at all she's clever enough to work out what's right n wrong herself but blindly follows what daddi n sarla say as though it's set in stone especially as she has already witnessed first hand how devious sarla actually is with all the wedding shenanigans. Kushiya had every right to be upset with Riya with the cooking after walking into the kitchen to find her sleeping and the food burning this was after kushiya wanted to stay in the kitchen to help her and to make herself look good Infront of daddi Riya assured her she would be fine doing the cooking alone Riya should have at that point just said "daddi I don't know how to cook can I have my MIL just supervise me" I find her a hypocrite coz why lie Infront of daddi then when later she told daddi the food was made by kushiya (even though her MIL had asked her not to say) because she doesn't lie she was also wrong to say about the saris Infront of everyone especially after the scene that had just taken place about her breaking her fast (another lie she had let her MIL to believe she's good at sticking to not lieing) Nimmi was right Riya just wants to please daddi all the time and she doesn't take anyone else into consideration including shivam ok I agree she's new in the house but no1 has been overly nasty to her shanti is so abusive to kushiya so at least she Isent being treated like that she forgetting how much priti n Nimmi helped her during the wedding thy are still being civil with her and not completely boycotting her. Kushiyas the MIL not Riya if priti or Nimmi had made such blunders with the cooking then kushiya would've scolded them just as much if not more (she slapped Nimmi during the pooja after the sari incident but forgave Riya for belittling her in the first place) I thought this show was supposed to be about Riya coming to the house and making changes n supporting her MIL in all the wrong doings towards her but it seems like it's just about Riya being daddis chumchi

No I don't find any of ur points bullying coz A) Nimmi seems to be the only one to bare a grudge but she gets told off by priti, shivam and kushiya and she has agreed to give Riya a chance B) Nimmi is immature however the only reason she seems to get frustrated is if her mother is being embarrassed or insulted C) Nimmi burned the saris and she got slapped in return for it C) my mother passed away when I was young but I still know how to cook as I myself went and seeked help not only from my father but my sisters as well I knew how to use my resources basically D) kushiya may have brought it up but not in a malicious way she understood that Riya lacked a mothers guidance but was gently asking her is anyone else had taught her anything because every time kushiya asked Riya a question ie do u know how to cut vegetables? Do u know how to do tarka Riya choose to stay quiet she didn't reply yes or no and kushiya then asked her thy question but u may have also noticed that kushiya was also supporting her saying she would learn in time and that she also had no knowledge of cooking when she came to this house at least kushiya admits that Riya didn't E) shivam had asked Riya to keep his family United and to support and love his mother like he does after the first argument he also asked her to keep quiet why Riya thought I would be a good idea to bring up the saris thing Infront of everyone after what had happened is beyond me she could've easily have kept quiet and spoke to shivam or his mum after everyone had left ... Kushiya has time and time again supported Riya the one time she didn't she was made out to be the bad one so she chose to keep supporting her DIL even after that not many MILs do that after the pooja many would choose to stay away and keep quiet don't get me wrong I liked Riyas character until her naive side came out after her marriage and for ur information she does know full well what sarla done as it all came out Infront of her and the rest of the marriage hall well raghav questioned his sister she also sees how she treats her own bahu the bahu she chose herself so what makes her think she would be nice to Riya after everything that happened she also saw daddi grabbing kushiyas arm and pinching it at the dinner table after the whole cooking incident but obv thinks that's an ok way to behave this will be my last reply as I can see this getting escalated into an argument which is something I didnt intend on doing

Originally posted by: CoolBeans86

<font color="#0033cc">So what Im
understanding from you is that the way we have all witnessed K+N behaving with
Riya is "not" bullying? 😕Burning her sari is not bullying. Falsely accusing her
of blaming Khusiya is not bullying. Making fun of her amongst your siblings
while she sleeps with shanti is not bullying. Blaming her and taunting her for
sitting down and helping shanti understand how to use a phone- is not bullying.
Shanti emotionally blackmailed riya JUST as she emotionally blackmails khusiya-
what other choice did riya have other than to sit and help her?? We could all
clearly see that she had much rather wanted to help her MIL- but Shanti stopped
her. And we are supposed to believe that Nimmi couldn't understand that shanti
was using riya to upset her (from all her previous ability to put two and two
together she was unable to do that this time?) Its just a bit convenient to be
heaping ALL the blame on Riya. So... its...not bullying when you point out to
someone that they are unable to do something because they didn't have a mother
to teach them? 😕What exactly was khusiya trying to achieve by pointing out
something that would be so painfully obvious to OF ALL people, Riya? Don't you
think maybe Riya knows all too well that she cant cook because she didn't have
a mum and had to basically be the earner of the household? Did she REALLY need
to be told that she was failing because she is motherless? Really? People
actually think that's ok to do that? If Riya is clever enough to work out what
is right and wrong at HER age- then likewise, if not MORE so- Khusiya is ALSO
clever and savvy and EXPERIENCED enough to know what is right and wrong. A
person doesn't even have to be educated or know how to read and write to know
whats right and wrong. You just know it, you know by how it feels deep down.
Riya has witnessed Sarla be devious from OUR perspective as the viewers of this
show- but in the actual show shes completely oblivious to it (which is what is
pissing us all off)- but lets go with the premise that riya doesn't know sarlas
or shanti's true colours... how is she supposed to make anything better in any
way until she knows this? However- Nimmi knows. Preeti knows. Shivam knows.
Which one of them has opened their mouths to tell her the truth? Anyone? No.
And yet its still Riyas fault...because yes I forgot she's psychic and she should
just be able to come to the same conclusions we have and ask the right
questions by reading minds. Yes Khusiya had the right to be upset at her during
the kitchen scene- but are you actually saying that its acceptable to speak to
someone like that even if you are frustrated or angry?? Is it ok to make
someone feel small and useless and pathetic because YOU are feeling frustrated?
There are better and more constructive ways to "discipline" someone than
pointing out obviously painful truths that you have no control over (its not
riyas fault her mother is dead is it?). NO ONE knows better than Riya how bad
she is at cooking and housework etc- it is the MILs responsibility to help her
to learn these things not by shouting and picking on her, but by constructively
doing something about it. That's how people learn better. She was plain
bullying her. You cant say that when someone looks at you in such a disgusted
way (whether theyre feeling frustration or anger or whatever emotion you want
to call it) that its acceptable to talk to anyone like that? Surely? And Riya isn't
her daughter that she can speak to her like that. Shes her daughter in law- my
mum can talk to me like that but if I ever caught her talking to my sister in
law like that Id be disgusted. JUST as Preeti pointed out to her mum when she was
taking the sari "but mum, I'm your daughter, she is your daughter in law"- so
YES there is a big difference. Even Preeti understood that. Also from the WAY
khusiya totally fell apart and panicked at Riya's "failure" to cook it showed
something else. Why panic like that? Why completely freak out like that? Because
shanti was expecting certain standards from Riya. And shanti blames EVERYTHING
on Khusiya. And Khusiya knew that Riyas failure would become HER failure and
then shanti would scold her for it. Khusiya was not running about the kitchen
like a headless terrified chicken because she was lovingly trying to help her
daughter in law out. She was terrified and looking over her shoulder because
she didn't want shanti on her case for it. Selfish for a mother figure. </font>

<font color="#0033cc">As for Riya owning up
to not doing the cooking- like I said why would she do it on purpose to hurt
her MIL? What has she got against her? So why would she do something like that
on purpose? It doesn't seem that we'll ever know what her motivation was but
one thing we can at least guess given a little common sense, that she is new to
the family, holds no grudges against anyone (yet) and has no reason to be
purposefully nasty. Khusiya- being elder, wiser' and more experienced- does
not have the luxury of using ignorance as an excuse to speak to her DIL that
way. Her tone, her mannerism, the way she was looking "disgustedly" at riya
when saying that "dear, did you not learn anything because you didn't have a
mother?" and "dear, did shivam know that you couldn't cook because he always
comes to me for food" was insulting and it was deliberately goading and said to
make her feel ashamed. She didn't say those things out of love did she? Those
are not kind things to say to other people. What was she trying to achieve with
those questions? What answer did she even expect? As if Riya doesn't know these
things already and probably has a few insecurities about them and here this ""wise""
mother figure is pointing it out to her. I mean whats the difference between
pointing out that someone is missing a leg "dear, you're missing a leg...is that
why you don't know how to hoover the stairs?" Its just nasty.</font>

<font color="#0033cc">Nimmi might have
helped during the wedding and actually facilitated it- and I was one of the
first to praise her. I LOVED Nimmi before all this and thought she would save
this show- but the writers have turned her character malicious and cruel. And
things change and I cannot stand her anymore. Even with all the information she
has- she STILL wont help her SIL to understand the situation. And just because
shanti has been so abusive to khusiya- that doesn't mean its ok for riya to
take even a fraction of abuse from khusiya. So what if khusiya has been
bullied? Isnt she old enough and mature enough and wise enough and experienced enough
in life to stand up for herself? Is riya to do it for her now? (I would say the
same to riya- if she doesn't start standing up for herself shes going to turn
into a doormat like the rest). I don't think Riya has forgotten how much Nimmi
and Preeti helped in the wedding- she hasn't said a bad thing against them or
taunted them (yet anyway- maybe the writers will screw it all up again) But
Riya hasn't forgotten their kindness. In fact THEY have forgotten how to be
kind. </font><font color="#333333"></font>

@Bushi

Sorry Bushi, my reply wasn't intended as argumentative. Im just not a fan of ill treatment towards anyone- and I just don't think getting angry or frustrated at someone is a good enough reason to taunt someone. We will have to agree to disagree on this I suppose. I certainly didn't think the way K spoke to R in the kitchen was ""gentle"". It would panic and put the fear into most people.
I'll just quickly respond to your points
A) I know N is the only one to actively bear a grudge and she's been told off- but instead of continuously being told off- why doesn't she pull R aside and tell her the truth? She might get into trouble (but her character always does anyway because she "used" to do the right thing and speak up)
B) the reason I'm saying Nimmi is immature is NOT because she is getting frustrated at seeing her mum humiliated. Anyone would. The reason I think she is immature is because she KNOWS the reality of her dadi and she knows that riya is prime target to get manipulated by her- but she won't do anything about it. Previously her character was very brave and noble. Now she done 180 degrees and is too scared to go against her brother's wishes for the greater good.
C) Nimmi got slapped for burning saris- yes I agree. She did get disciplined for it. But that is seperate issue from riya. Nimmi is khusiyas daughter, her mum has a right to slap her. I don't believe my MIL has the right to slap me (if she did) or speak rudely to me because I afford her the same respect. Elders don't just get to just speak to me how they like just because they're older- they need to have a damn good reason. Respect is important.
D) I am genuinely sorry to hear about your mum. But not everyone in your situation is like you. There are people who might not know how to juggle both- it doesn't matter what the reason is- but we're not all the same. Some people just don't hv an aptitude for cooking! Just because riya can't cook doesn't mean she deserved to be spoken to like that. She has the ability to learn, not by being scolded but being taught. Khusiya wasn't teaching/guiding in that scene, she was panicking because of shantis reaction. She was more preoccupied with that (to me) than being a MIL.
E) I agree K was pretty nice to her early on when Renu was in the kitchen with them and showing her how to cut the vegetables. And I admired her for that. But I'm not talking about that incident. I'm talking about this one- and this scene was VERY different, with a very different Khusiya. Riya might not have spoken up to Khusiya about not knowing how to cook because she's embarrassed about it. I agree she should have opened her mouth and said something- it was wierd. But still- Riya seemed to hesitate to open up to her for some reason (maybe because she's heard shanti say awful things about Khusiya I.e how strict she is and doesn't like mistakes-so maybe that was playing in the back of her mind)
F) I haven't watched today's (30/09) episode, so forgive me if I'm behind. But going on the sari incident- I don't remember riya making a big deal out of it infront of the whole family. Shanti asked her if it was her sari- all she said was yes it was. Then sarla and others immediately cut her off before she could get another word in. Looking at Riyas face- she didn't really look happy that Khusiya was getting ripped to shreds. She looked kind of helpless to do anything about it. But yes- agree if it was me after saying it was my sari I would have quickly said I bought them for everyone (or something like that just to nip it in the bud). In that regard she is a bit slow. But still- being slow and silly doesn't mean she did it on purpose.

As for the sarla/wedding fiasco- I'm not really sure if it actually came out in the open. It seemed to me that just as she was about to be exposed she managed to weed her way out of it (yet again) If all was exposed then surely everyone would know she's Madam X and the brains behind the kidnapping. If she'd been truly and openly exposed then riya surely would stay as far away from her as possible during family gatherings- but their interaction appears completely normal. Surely Raghav would have ripped her to shreds for what she did. So because of that I'm not convinced that riya in the show actually knows what sarla did. She was even apologising to amit and sarla for causing "them" pain and humiliation. That doesn't sound like someone who is aware of what either mother or son did, to me.

Anyway- this is a show and these people are fictional- we the commenters and viewers are real! So please don't take my words to heart! We can get so carried away in these things. All the characters are frustrating me. I actually didn't like riya to begin with lol! I still don't! She's not how they portrayed she would be. But...doesn't mean I'm ok with the way she's been treated since marriage!
Anyway, peace to you my dear.

Originally posted by: Bushi786

I personally don't think Riya is being bullied at all she's clever enough to work out what's right n wrong herself but blindly follows what daddi n sarla say as though it's set in stone especially as she has already witnessed first hand how devious sarla actually is with all the wedding shenanigans. Kushiya had every right to be upset with Riya with the cooking after walking into the kitchen to find her sleeping and the food burning this was after kushiya wanted to stay in the kitchen to help her and to make herself look good Infront of daddi Riya assured her she would be fine doing the cooking alone Riya should have at that point just said "daddi I don't know how to cook can I have my MIL just supervise me" I find her a hypocrite coz why lie Infront of daddi then when later she told daddi the food was made by kushiya (even though her MIL had asked her not to say) because she doesn't lie she was also wrong to say about the saris Infront of everyone especially after the scene that had just taken place about her breaking her fast (another lie she had let her MIL to believe she's good at sticking to not lieing) Nimmi was right Riya just wants to please daddi all the time and she doesn't take anyone else into consideration including shivam ok I agree she's new in the house but no1 has been overly nasty to her shanti is so abusive to kushiya so at least she Isent being treated like that she forgetting how much priti n Nimmi helped her during the wedding thy are still being civil with her and not completely boycotting her. Kushiyas the MIL not Riya if priti or Nimmi had made such blunders with the cooking then kushiya would've scolded them just as much if not more (she slapped Nimmi during the pooja after the sari incident but forgave Riya for belittling her in the first place) I thought this show was supposed to be about Riya coming to the house and making changes n supporting her MIL in all the wrong doings towards her but it seems like it's just about Riya being daddis chumchi

Hi,

Loved your points! And completely agree with you! I don't see it as necessarily a Khusiya versus Riya fight at all. This is essentially a story about expectations and how vastly different reality is for everyone from what they expect in general. I will not state what is right or wrong, as it is very subjective for different people, and especially on this forum it is totally subjective on who you support ( riya or khusiya). But, let's all be clear on where this show is based off from. Mughalserai is a small town somewhere close to Benaras. The dynamics of the house, and expectations from women, are vastly different ( even in this day and age) to what most of us experience in our lives, whether in the US or anywhere abroad, or any urban megapolis in India. Small town systems are still very rooted in the idea that no matter how educated the girl is, her main duty is to look after the house, husband and kids. Khusiya, comes from an even older generation, who's main idea is to serve her in laws, and continuously be following their rules and norms. She is the most bullied character in the show, but also, that is just what thought process she has been raised in and what she has come to expect. Which is why, her expectations from Riya, are almost like what she has come to understand as a "bahu's duty". She asks her MIL even to go to the bhajan mandali, or what to cook, or where to go, etc. Everything is dictated by MIL. It is obvious that she will expect riya to follow in her footsteps too. Despite that, she is not conniving like Shanti, who wants to torture her DIL and make her life hell. It is general expectation that Riya will look after the house, her husband and later her kids. As of now, Riya looks incapable of doing either of the above. Which in my eyes, is not her fault, but also cannot berate Khusiya for expecting it of her. It's natural. Even then, she was shown to be very nice to Riya during the wedding, she was treating her like a daughter, with love. But, her expectations have fallen flat because in her eyes, riya knows nothing. Breaking the fast was (in khusiya's mind) not looking after the well being of Shivam. ( may be wrong, but this is her belief system, that she has been fed since childhood) Her not knowing how to cook, is a failure in looking after the house. That disappointed Khusiya and hence the outburst. Also, Riya may not be at fault, but being literate, educated and someone who goes to office and is an independent girl, one would expect her to have enough street smartness to handle such things. If she doesn't know how to cook, she shouldb'e told dadi right away. Instead of letting Khusiya cook and then declare that she didn't cook, and making Khusiya look like a liar. She could have simply asked Khusiya to help her and tell her she never learnt cooking ( for whatever reason). She shouldn't have slept off while cooking food. Forget being irresponsible, that is dangerous in general, and would not expect that from a full grown lady to keep the gas on and pass out on the floor.

Nimmi is immature and yes, her outburst was a bit out of hand to behave with her bhabhi like that in front of everyone. It was impulsive and not right, even for the best intention of being disturbed by her mother's humiliation. All of this is coming down on Riya, because everyone expects her to side with her MIL and not daadi, while Riya's expectation from her MIL is that she will be more of a mother and not a hitler and she is not being helped by her own husband to understand the warped dynamics of his family. She is playing into the hands of shanti, who is at this point controlling both Riya and Khusiya, because both are dumb to not understand her evil intentions. I don't expect Riya to suddenly figure how Shanti is a B*&^$. It is her husband who has to let her know what to expect from what. She has been in the house two days and she has seen drama from her MIL. Obviously she will think her MIL is a monster. But, she is not street smart either to sit either of her sister in laws down or her MIL or husband and aks what is going on. To simply apologize and /or just clear the confusion out. This blame lies on Khusiya too, who should sit her new DIL down and explain what the rules of the house are. Riya is a new age girl and Khusiya knows her family is way more liberal and different. So obviously riya cannot be expected to be like Khusiya. But nobody is shown to be understanding. Instead everyone has their own expectations and those are failing because Khusiya expects a DIL like her and Riya expects a MIL who will be liberal like her dad or dadi bua. Both of which are wrong because Riya has to understand that this family is not like hers and she WILL have to make adjustments ( like everybody does), and Khusiya has to understand that Riya is brought up differently and she is not going to be her XEROX copu ( and khusiya should in fact want her DIL to have more of a spine and stand up for herself and not be the daasi khusiya has had to be) and so to give her some space and time to adjust and also to make adjustments in the house for Riya.

Most of all Shivam, has to get off the high horse about his daadi and just sit his wife down and explain everything clearly.

Ur possibly the most sensible person uv came across in this forum lol uv been spot on with everything!

Originally posted by: pp29

Hi,

Loved your points! And completely agree with you! I don't see it as necessarily a Khusiya versus Riya fight at all. This is essentially a story about expectations and how vastly different reality is for everyone from what they expect in general. I will not state what is right or wrong, as it is very subjective for different people, and especially on this forum it is totally subjective on who you support ( riya or khusiya). But, let's all be clear on where this show is based off from. Mughalserai is a small town somewhere close to Benaras. The dynamics of the house, and expectations from women, are vastly different ( even in this day and age) to what most of us experience in our lives, whether in the US or anywhere abroad, or any urban megapolis in India. Small town systems are still very rooted in the idea that no matter how educated the girl is, her main duty is to look after the house, husband and kids. Khusiya, comes from an even older generation, who's main idea is to serve her in laws, and continuously be following their rules and norms. She is the most bullied character in the show, but also, that is just what thought process she has been raised in and what she has come to expect. Which is why, her expectations from Riya, are almost like what she has come to understand as a "bahu's duty". She asks her MIL even to go to the bhajan mandali, or what to cook, or where to go, etc. Everything is dictated by MIL. It is obvious that she will expect riya to follow in her footsteps too. Despite that, she is not conniving like Shanti, who wants to torture her DIL and make her life hell. It is general expectation that Riya will look after the house, her husband and later her kids. As of now, Riya looks incapable of doing either of the above. Which in my eyes, is not her fault, but also cannot berate Khusiya for expecting it of her. It's natural. Even then, she was shown to be very nice to Riya during the wedding, she was treating her like a daughter, with love. But, her expectations have fallen flat because in her eyes, riya knows nothing. Breaking the fast was (in khusiya's mind) not looking after the well being of Shivam. ( may be wrong, but this is her belief system, that she has been fed since childhood) Her not knowing how to cook, is a failure in looking after the house. That disappointed Khusiya and hence the outburst. Also, Riya may not be at fault, but being literate, educated and someone who goes to office and is an independent girl, one would expect her to have enough street smartness to handle such things. If she doesn't know how to cook, she shouldb'e told dadi right away. Instead of letting Khusiya cook and then declare that she didn't cook, and making Khusiya look like a liar. She could have simply asked Khusiya to help her and tell her she never learnt cooking ( for whatever reason). She shouldn't have slept off while cooking food. Forget being irresponsible, that is dangerous in general, and would not expect that from a full grown lady to keep the gas on and pass out on the floor.

Nimmi is immature and yes, her outburst was a bit out of hand to behave with her bhabhi like that in front of everyone. It was impulsive and not right, even for the best intention of being disturbed by her mother's humiliation. All of this is coming down on Riya, because everyone expects her to side with her MIL and not daadi, while Riya's expectation from her MIL is that she will be more of a mother and not a hitler and she is not being helped by her own husband to understand the warped dynamics of his family. She is playing into the hands of shanti, who is at this point controlling both Riya and Khusiya, because both are dumb to not understand her evil intentions. I don't expect Riya to suddenly figure how Shanti is a B*&^$. It is her husband who has to let her know what to expect from what. She has been in the house two days and she has seen drama from her MIL. Obviously she will think her MIL is a monster. But, she is not street smart either to sit either of her sister in laws down or her MIL or husband and aks what is going on. To simply apologize and /or just clear the confusion out. This blame lies on Khusiya too, who should sit her new DIL down and explain what the rules of the house are. Riya is a new age girl and Khusiya knows her family is way more liberal and different. So obviously riya cannot be expected to be like Khusiya. But nobody is shown to be understanding. Instead everyone has their own expectations and those are failing because Khusiya expects a DIL like her and Riya expects a MIL who will be liberal like her dad or dadi bua. Both of which are wrong because Riya has to understand that this family is not like hers and she WILL have to make adjustments ( like everybody does), and Khusiya has to understand that Riya is brought up differently and she is not going to be her XEROX copu ( and khusiya should in fact want her DIL to have more of a spine and stand up for herself and not be the daasi khusiya has had to be) and so to give her some space and time to adjust and also to make adjustments in the house for Riya.

Most of all Shivam, has to get off the high horse about his daadi and just sit his wife down and explain everything clearly.

Originally posted by: Leelalore

@coolbeans-👏 Brilliant post. agree with points.

Ammaji has manged to make Khushiya , Nimmi & Preeti feel angry, jealous

and insecure about Riya. She is also causing distress and discomfort to riya

in many ways. She was responsibl;e for Riya's tears on the pooja day, she is keeping

riya apart from Shivam & in her own room.

She also set the cooking task-probably knowing that Riya can't do it .

Also, she is instigating riya against Kaushalya & Nimmi. But to Riya's credit, she never uttered

anything against Nimmi or Kaushalya. Daadi was probably hoping that Riya would cry & make a

fuss about the saree-burning kaand of Nimmi. Even when Daadi asked Riya-Don't you mind Nimmi shouting at you? Riya indicated that she is not holding any grudges.

Riya is being shown to be more of a decent & dignified person. Probably, because she is the heroine.