"Failed relationships are not baggage"
As Katti Batti hits the theatres today, Kangana Ranaut speaks about live-in relationships. Read on...
Katti Batti advocates live-in relationships. What is your take on it?
First, I'll tell you the don'ts. People rush into live-in relationships, more so, if you've come from a small-town and are enjoying the newly-acquired freedom. I've burnt my fingers. But you can't move in with someone who has ulterior motives. I'd like to warn young girls out there... take your time to know the person. Discuss it with your parents. Just don't move in with anyone unless you know the person, you know his past, his plans, his workplace... Or else, you can get into major problems. Your safety comes first. Where dos are concerned, it could also prove beneficial. Imran's (Khan) experience with live-in relationships has been fruitful. He spent a lot of time with Avantika in the US and then they ended up getting married. But I got into trouble with someone. People with criminal records, psychological problems, dementia... could prove dangerous. Initially, they don't show that side of themselves. And when you move in, you can't get out. It becomes like a marriage. They get to do anything. Like physical abuse, spiking your food/drinks with dangerous chemicals... It sounds rosy and hunky dory but it's not that glossy out there. It's good to have your family by your side. You should be with people you trust as opposed to just jumping into something as extreme as a live-in. In a marriage, the families are involved and there's certain legality. Only if you're sure about someone and want to take the relationship to the next level, then opt for it.
So what would be the ideal scenario?
When two people are serious about each other, when they know each other's backgrounds, then they can opt to live-in. There should be no hidden agenda. Someone may just want to share an apartment with you or he may want you to support his expenses and is just misleading you. If you're nave, people take you for a ride. People will get their way, use you for a while and then move on.
The exit route in a live-in relationship is the biggest advantage. Isn't it?
But what's the need for a live-in? People who're not happy with themselves, seek company and go for a live-in. But I'm happy in my own company. When you're financially independent and can take care of yourself, you would rather be free with no strings attached. For me the next level wouldn't be live-in; it would be marriage. Men tend to treat their girlfriends differently and their wives differently. The door is always open in a live-in. You always feel unsure of your future. I'm not comfortable with the concept.
Are men intimidated by your success? Does it change the nature of the relationship?
Yeah, because men can be obnoxious. All of my relationships didn't work because the men were unable to accept my ascent to this position. The relationship was beautiful when I was this upcoming girl. I believed he would have appreciated me and felt proud of my success because he loved me when I was a nobody. But the relationship came to a crushing end. I've had a firsthand experience of struggling with what everyone thought I was and his' idea of who I was. I was shocked to know his idea of me. It's hard to come to terms with the truth that he doesn't want you to be successful. You have to give it all up for him or you can't have the relationship. It's sad.
Do you carry the baggage from one relationship to another?
Failed relationships are not baggage. I see the good part of my experience no matter how hard it is to put an end to one story and move on to the other. I am a good loser. I have seen myself fail relentlessly. But I still like myself. People say, "Oh God! You're so much in love with yourself." But I've seen myself through the worst. I'm a true hero, because of the way I emerge like a phoenix. If my relationships don't work, the beautiful thing is that I'm never left bitter or pining or craving for that man. Whereas I've seen women who can't get over it! It just takes me one month to move on. And it would be hard for these women to imagine the kind of passion or madness that I experience when in love. But when I have to let go, I let go like a true Sufi. (Laughs) I tell women that if you believe a man can destroy you, you've got to know my story. I've evolved. I carry that story in my heart even if it is tragic. It's beautiful, right?
http://www.filmfare.com/interviews/failed-relationships-are-not-baggage-10543.html
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