Sid's POV
I never knew that life can be cruel to me but sometimes unexpected things happen..it happened with me also...I lost her, my roshni now there is only darkness around me, which binds me with her memories...I don't know why everything happened which happened?...why I left her?...was I really able to leave her?
We were about to get married, she proposed me herself and I felt God gave me happiness in that only moment now I don't need anything else ever again in my life but I was wrong...my happiness were of few days only because I snatched away my happiness from me myself only, i was the one who killed my happiness, i was the one who decided to forget roshni...such a lame decision it was right? How could i even imagine my life without her?..but i did
misha suffered with trauma after that one dreadful incident only because of me ...I was responsible for It because I left her hand...no It doesn't mean that I wanted to leave my roshni..no never...I would had died if she was hurt even a penny but I should had protected my best friend also...even when she suffered a lot I decided to bring her back to life by the help of her love, neil, but he never loved her, he left her on the altar where she was waiting for him, misha tried to commit suicide and I was left with one choice to held her hand and bring her back to life
And I too realized that what price I have to pay for this...I have to let go of roshni...it wasn't easy...it wasn't easy at all but do I had choice? May be yes but I didn't considered it at all because I was blind for misha and her happiness...I didn't even realized what I actually loss until the day when I married misha..
That night I wanted to sleep to take it all as a dream but no it wasn't a dream...it was truth a bitter truth and now I have to face it everyday...everyday I have to see that roshni isn't with me...that I am all alone...without her but it was too late to realize but deep inside me I was a bit relax as I knew that she hates me now and can easily move on..I knew that she will never come in front of me..may be I won't be able to see her ever again...may be it was my punishment to spend my entire life without her...may be now I will breathe without any reason...may be life always wanted me to suffer
But it didn't happened as I got a punishment worst then what I expected...I thought we will never meet but It was wrong...I use to see her every week...every single week and whenever she came in front of me I died thousands of death in that mere moment...her pale face, her dried eyes , her love her hatred I use to witness all...and then I thought that this is the punishment life stored for me but no I was wrong, yet again
One day I heard her and mom..she told mom that she was getting married...so this was my punishment...I thought...now she will be someone else's wife..someone else will now get the right to call her his..i wanted to cry as that only thought passed through me and that was the moment she saw me..I saw tears In her eyes too..I wanted her to come to me...I wanted to touch her to hug her one last time but she left not giving me that chance because may be I didn't deserved that
That whole day I kept thinking about the punishment I got from life but I was unaware of my real punishment...the punishment which killed me...the punishment which made me a lifeless body...that punishment was her death...
she was lying in my lap...I witnessed her death..my grave punishment it was...she killed herself...and it all because of me...my roshni left me...may be she was not mine anymore but she was roshni...she have to be mine..may be I am wrong but what can I do..I was there when her funeral happened...that day I cried to the extent that no one will ever understand...
Today is the same day I lost her to life...she won because she left giving me a life time punishment...because she succeeded in telling me that I was wrong...one year passed and I am still alive..how selfish I am...everyone around me pleaded me to move on but it was impossible...I don't know how this one year passed, how I was able to breathe...how? May be because this was the punishment she gave to me but I am sorry roshni i can't tolerate it anymore...it's getting difficult with each passing moment
I am not able to decide what shall I do...you took your right from life and finished your life but what about me? How Will I finish it? I can't just finish myself...I am not able to do it? Please roshni release me from this punishment, please call me to you, please roshni...I am not able to take it anymore..please forgive your siddhart one last time..please
No One's POV
he kept mumbling roshni until he felt her around him, may be she was here, may be she came to finish his punishment may be now he will do what he wanted, may be life is giving him a chance to choose his path which leads to his roshni..his and only his
------'Raj ji..please come with me sid isn't opening his room' a panic simran said as she came to hall where raj, beeji and misha were seated 'ap pareshan mat ho simran ji...I will check' raj said and they all went to sid's room 'simran ji did he opened door last night?' Raj asked after knocking for several times 'no raj ji...I tried a lot but he denied from coming out' simran answered
A while later two to three servant came and all pushed the door with all the force they had and finally the door opened, they all sighed finding him sleeping at his arm chair, misha made her way to him but simran stopped 'I will manage my son...' she spoke coldly and went to sid running a hand in his hair she called him out 'sid...wake up..it's so late now' but there was no response 'sid...wake up' she called out again..this time panick rised in her
Raj sat beside the chair and shook him but he didn't responded ...finally with shaking hands he checked his nerves and tears formed in his eyes 'bittu say something...why sidda is not answering?' Beeji asked forcing raj to turn to her 'beeji..our sid' he weeped 'bittu you are scaring me...tell me what happened' she asked already knowing what was coming but didn't had the stamina to believe her eyes
'Beeji our sid left...he is gone' raj said closing his eyes tight 'no ...sid you can't leave your mom like this...wake up please...raj ji please tell him na to wake up..is this some time to play prank...sid utho..please beta..please' simran kept requesting and a while later she fainted...
Misha was weeping seeing all this and that's when her eyes landed on the diary in his lap, she picked it up and red it
Please roshni release me from this punishment, please call me to you, please roshni...I am not able to take it anymore..please forgive your siddhart one last time..please
'I am sorry sid..forgive this selfish friend of yours too' she cried hiding her face in that open page but it was too late to repent for the mistake she committed or to even ask for forgiveness...they were gone, forever but now they will be together...no one will separate siddhart and roshni now...no one
comment:
p_commentcount