Software Symphony 9 Book Shelf Analogy on 144 - Page 91

Originally posted by: nividances

I don't know if this is a comment, review, summary, analysis...I seriously don't know what it is. 😕 I guess at best it's a hodge podge of things that I have thought of while reading this story, but never took the time out to pen into actual words and coherent sentences.  😊

I had written a whole essay about Subbu embedded in a broader context of looking at literature (and life) from the perspective of the so-called "antagonist." It seems that those words were destined to go into some sort of virtual black hole because the response was lost/deleted twice...even when I made the smart move of typing everything on a word document. You may find it to be unbelievable, but my laptop crashed while I was in the middle of trying to remember and rewrite the lost response and I LOST the already lost response yet again...AutoRecover failed me too.  #Facepalm #Headdesk #TechnologyHatesMe 😔 That analysis is just not meant to be published Nisha. You will never see it...I'm sorry. Perhaps talking about Subbu is a jinx for me so I'm going to talk about II and R&B instead. 😛😆

As intriguing as the pre-marriage "relationship" between a lanky nomadic Punjabi venture capitalist translocated from Malcha Marg to Paris and a feisty, talkative, ambitious, IIM-educated Iyer carnatic singer from RK Puram was, the post-marriage equation between the two is even more engaging to explore. 

In almost every sense, the two are opposites. You have to beg her to stop talking; you have to beg him to speak just a few words. She is the daughter of a typical middle class Iyer household; he is the son of an atypical excessively affluent Punjabi household. Her interactions with "boys" can perhaps be tallied on the fingers of one hand; his "interactions" will require the fingers of more than a few hands. She has such a strong bond with her father; he has cut his father out of his life almost completely. She is less aware of his inner feelings but tries to probe him constantly; he is able to sense her distress but doesn't continually question. She is shy about physical intimacy to a certain extent; he is unabashedly explicit about this topic.

As different as they are, the one major commonality that they share is what has brought them together and made this union possible. They both carry with them their respective mother's blessings and wishes. This is not the sole force that united them, as we cannot discount the intense attraction they share, but it cannot be denied that destiny was certainly beckoned to work some magic by the prayers of the two mothers.

Coming to their individual "expectations" from the relationship, I find it interesting that the conservatively raised middle class Iyer is on the fence about the marriage lasting (she has her own valid reasons that I will save to speak about in a future post), while the nomadic Punjabi "playboy" has few, if any, doubts about the marriage's survival. How beautifully ironic the situation is. This dichotomy of expectations is one of the vulnerabilities of this relationship; the second is their inability to properly communicate. Humans by nature are too complicated to be understood fully but communication certainly helps to dissipate the enigmatic complexity of the human mind. The ultimate truth, without a doubt, in their relationship is that he will never know all there is to know about her, just as she will never know all there is to know about him. Whether this will be the hamartia of their relationship or serve as the force that pushes them together is something that remains to be seen.

Setting the relationship on the back burner, let's focus now on R&B specifically. I would like to put forth a quote by JK Rowling in his honor. "Indifference...often do[es] much more damage than outright dislike." He cares for his wife; we, as readers, have seen enough glimpses into his thoughts to infer that. However, his aversion to verbal communication, in the context of the narrative, is often assumed to be indifference by people such as Appa and sometimes even II. His wife is beginning to see his caring nature through his "Enough II" as well as his subtle actions of dealing with Subbu, handing over his phone to her, and so forth, but his silence and unwillingness to communicate is what will cause the biggest problems between them. More often than not, couples want to avoid fighting, but from what we have seen transpire between II-R&B already, their verbal duels tend to push them closer together, as that is one of the only times R&B's complete thoughts come out in the open. Similarly, it is mainly during their verbal duels that II lets her guard down and speaks without a filter. Something I have noted is that although she chatters paragraph-long responses to the simplest questions, II has a tendency to filter her words when it comes to her emotions and inner thoughts.

In the last few chapters, we have begun to see small progressions in their relationship and emotional understanding of each other, but there are still many cans of worms left to be opened as of yet. They have become one physically, but they have yet to open up to each other and become one in the truest sense...emotionally that is.

I will end with the following because I think it fits II-R&B to the tee. "Don't worry when I fight with you, worry when I stop because it means there's nothing left to fight for."

Originally posted by: nividances

I will end with the following because I think it fits II-R&B to the tee. "Don't worry when I fight with you, worry when I stop because it means there's nothing left to fight for."

Originally posted by: swathi1990

Hey Nish

Feel free to skip reading my posts..But today my mind is just filled with II and R&B for some reason and I am going to rant about everything...

Lets say they start communicating--Just like everyone here wishes...Will that solve all the problems?? He wants to go to paris,she doesn't...He wants kids, she doesn't...He is totally that ultra-rich guy brought up like that and she is still the middle class girl who wants to remain like that... So even if they discuss/communicate all this, wat is the use??? These two are individuals who does not easily give up their stand...and they are OPPOSITES in everything as you pointed out...makes me think that unless they are ready to adjust with each other, nothing can be done...no amount of communication/fighting in their case will help

Originally posted by: nividances

I don't know if this is a comment, review, summary, analysis...I seriously don't know what it is. 😕 I guess at best it's a hodge podge of things that I have thought of while reading this story, but never took the time out to pen into actual words and coherent sentences.  😊

I had written a whole essay about Subbu embedded in a broader context of looking at literature (and life) from the perspective of the so-called "antagonist." It seems that those words were destined to go into some sort of virtual black hole because the response was lost/deleted twice...even when I made the smart move of typing everything on a word document. You may find it to be unbelievable, but my laptop crashed while I was in the middle of trying to remember and rewrite the lost response and I LOST the already lost response yet again...AutoRecover failed me too.  #Facepalm #Headdesk #TechnologyHatesMe 😔 That analysis is just not meant to be published Nisha. You will never see it...I'm sorry. Perhaps talking about Subbu is a jinx for me so I'm going to talk about II and R&B instead. 😛😆

As intriguing as the pre-marriage "relationship" between a lanky nomadic Punjabi venture capitalist translocated from Malcha Marg to Paris and a feisty, talkative, ambitious, IIM-educated Iyer carnatic singer from RK Puram was, the post-marriage equation between the two is even more engaging to explore. 

In almost every sense, the two are opposites. You have to beg her to stop talking; you have to beg him to speak just a few words. She is the daughter of a typical middle class Iyer household; he is the son of an atypical excessively affluent Punjabi household. Her interactions with "boys" can perhaps be tallied on the fingers of one hand; his "interactions" will require the fingers of more than a few hands. She has such a strong bond with her father; he has cut his father out of his life almost completely. She is less aware of his inner feelings but tries to probe him constantly; he is able to sense her distress but doesn't continually question. She is shy about physical intimacy to a certain extent; he is unabashedly explicit about this topic.

As different as they are, the one major commonality that they share is what has brought them together and made this union possible. They both carry with them their respective mother's blessings and wishes. This is not the sole force that united them, as we cannot discount the intense attraction they share, but it cannot be denied that destiny was certainly beckoned to work some magic by the prayers of the two mothers.

Coming to their individual "expectations" from the relationship, I find it interesting that the conservatively raised middle class Iyer is on the fence about the marriage lasting (she has her own valid reasons that I will save to speak about in a future post), while the nomadic Punjabi "playboy" has few, if any, doubts about the marriage's survival. How beautifully ironic the situation is. This dichotomy of expectations is one of the vulnerabilities of this relationship; the second is their inability to properly communicate. Humans by nature are too complicated to be understood fully but communication certainly helps to dissipate the enigmatic complexity of the human mind. The ultimate truth, without a doubt, in their relationship is that he will never know all there is to know about her, just as she will never know all there is to know about him. Whether this will be the hamartia of their relationship or serve as the force that pushes them together is something that remains to be seen.

Setting the relationship on the back burner, let's focus now on R&B specifically. I would like to put forth a quote by JK Rowling in his honor. "Indifference...often do[es] much more damage than outright dislike." He cares for his wife; we, as readers, have seen enough glimpses into his thoughts to infer that. However, his aversion to verbal communication, in the context of the narrative, is often assumed to be indifference by people such as Appa and sometimes even II. His wife is beginning to see his caring nature through his "Enough II" as well as his subtle actions of dealing with Subbu, handing over his phone to her, and so forth, but his silence and unwillingness to communicate is what will cause the biggest problems between them. More often than not, couples want to avoid fighting, but from what we have seen transpire between II-R&B already, their verbal duels tend to push them closer together, as that is one of the only times R&B's complete thoughts come out in the open. Similarly, it is mainly during their verbal duels that II lets her guard down and speaks without a filter. Something I have noted is that although she chatters paragraph-long responses to the simplest questions, II has a tendency to filter her words when it comes to her emotions and inner thoughts.

In the last few chapters, we have begun to see small progressions in their relationship and emotional understanding of each other, but there are still many cans of worms left to be opened as of yet. They have become one physically, but they have yet to open up to each other and become one in the truest sense...emotionally that is.

I will end with the following because I think it fits II-R&B to the tee. "Don't worry when I fight with you, worry when I stop because it means there's nothing left to fight for."

Originally posted by: nividances

You're right. Them fighting with each other will not eliminate their differences. Communication won't solve all the problems either, but it will definitely pull the issues and opinions out into the limelight. They will continue to remain opposites in everything I think; their life experiences and the differing backgrounds that they come from will always be at crossroads with one another. 

As for them being ready to adjust with each other? Well, whether all this fighting or communication will be beneficial for their "adjusting with each other" depends on how you define the word "adjustment." I think that adjustment in a marriage is not necessarily about thinking alike, but about thinking together. In order for them to think together, I would say that they need to fight and communicate. 😊