Moral Policing-"Kiss of Love"-Your Thoughts ?? - Page 3

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Angel-likeDevil thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: zorrro

People can react in different ways to an incident. Some may get annoyed , some make ignore and some may find it entertaining to watch a free show of PDA . What if a group of the last variety decides to move from the back benches to front seats to have a better view?   Shouldnt  that be permissible and acceptable too?

 
Ofcourse... a free society. Free show, free viewership, free entertainment. 😆 
 
Zorrro, this will never happen in the real life. Maybe there'll be parks for adults(there ARE all already unnamed yet famous), just like nude beaches or something, and making out in public is never going to happen.. we can aim/demand for a matured society, plus, maturity also entails 'not demanding for freedom to allow PDA'. Anyways, the reality is different.. because, like you said -
 
1 - kids!
2 - imagine many people, with many minds :
           
a) some will walk their way past the couple feeling --  appreciative - "ah, how beautiful", some nonchalant, some repulsed as they dont find it 'aesthetic' and some find it irresponsible, some jealous, some others something else and so on.
b) some will enjoy a free show
c) some will take another route. Just like we avoid seeing a man taking a leak roadside.
d) some will go disturb them.
e) some will do nasty things like taking a photo, what not...
 
humans as an entity are complex creatures... and private things like these would definitely make things more complicated for the society as a whole to handle... that's why it has been banned.
Edited by Angel-likeDevil - 9 years ago
Posted: 9 years ago
Actually that post  was just in response to the "others may close their eyes if they dont like it" post. 😆 I wanted to know how the couple would react if the others decide to watch their display instead of maintaining a distance. Would they accept that act by the public or would they find it objectionable . I doubt if they would be in a position to object. The tables might turn on them. Freedom of expression  can be applied to both the couple and the public viewers who decide to take a closer look for enjoyment or annoying them. Shouldnt safety too be a concern?
Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: zorrro

Enjoyed reading all the thoughts expressed so far. 😊

Seeing a couple smooching or petting may not be so intolerable as made out by some but imagine a people going yak yak yak full volume  with PDA on their phones while travelling in a public transport. What if the poor chap sitting next to such a person decides to join their supposedly private conversation that is being forced on the public? Would he be at fault?


@ Red : AaAGGGRRRhHH 😡  😡 😡 😡 😡 😡

it brought back some really bad memories !!..  😆 😆

I was traveling in volvo semi-sleeper from Pune To Mangalore ( bad idea i should have booked train tickets beforehand  )...and this disgusting self-pitying person sitting 4 seats next to me was goin on & on about his previous failed marriages , his mother's previous failed marriages ..etc over the phone with his gf/wife & crying & being romantic with her over the phone in a loud manner with complete disregard to other people in the bus..the person sitting next to him requested him to talk in a low voice , he obliged initially but then he was back to his romantic-devdas self within minutes..everybody was so frustrated , since traveling in a volvo bus for a long night journey  people dont expect to be in such an inhospitable environment , it was claustrophobic to say the least..add to that increasing motion sickness with every passing minute & u have the recipe for disaster..so i finally lost it & what i said to that person even i dont remember..i just remember it to be a heated conversation almost verging on physical assault but the end result was satisfactory..he had to keep his mouth shut & leave everybody else to travel in peace..

This experience of mine had a lasting effect on me more than i could have anticipated..when this "kiss of love" was all over the Malayalam news channels yesterday , i got into an argument with parents who were of the opinion that "Kiss of Love" is bad idea since it is demeaning to our culture..and i was like 'what culture?!' , such a culture needs to be thrown out of our country & "kiss of Love" is trying to make the same statement & i support the statement..after hearing my views, my parents (just like 'Angel-likeDevil') arrived at a conclusion that both "kiss of love" & "moral policing" is a bad idea..they somehow changed their mind about moral policing stating that such attempts will only increase the curiosity , recklessness & rebellious attitude among youngsters..this issue should be dealt with differently..😆 .. but when i started debating here , i realized how much i myself was against "Kiss of Love" ( though in a fit of impulse i supported it b4) 😆..in this thread i kept hanging on to 'public discomfort' like crazy since i had a firsthand unpleasant experience in this case..
Edited by Quixotic5 - 9 years ago
Angel-likeDevil thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: zorrro

Actually that post  was just in response to the "others may close their eyes if they dont like it" post. 😆 I wanted to know how the couple would react if the others decide to watch their display instead of maintaining a distance. Would they accept that act by the public or would they find it objectionable . I doubt if they would be in a position to object. The tables might turn on them. Freedom of expression  can be applied to both the couple and the public viewers who decide to take a closer look for enjoyment or annoying them. Shouldnt safety too be a concern?

 
wow nice point! 😃 this now really makes one think. And this is perhaps why it is banned lol..
 
When freedom of expression is asserted to an extent where one says 'let me do as I please, i am not harming you' ...the 'my watching you isnt harming you' is a natural corollary. 
As they say, freedom of expression is not absolute, it comes with restrictions(sensible), as a society we need to live as one unit, and be cooperative. The balance between individual interest and interest of the state has to be understood. Because, a lot of new unwarranted nuisance can arise if we try to disturb the balance.
 
Safety...is a big, and only real practical issue and is most concerning in this entire thing.
Edited by Angel-likeDevil - 9 years ago
Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: Quixotic5

@ Red : AaAGGGRRRhHH 😡  😡 😡 😡 😡 😡

it brought back some really bad memories !!..  😆 😆

in this thread i kept hanging on to 'public discomfort' like crazy since i had a firsthand unpleasant experience in this case..

😆 😆 I can fully understand. I had one just a few days ago. I was travelling in the city bus. The chap sitting next to me was on and on with his telephonic conversation with his GF at full volume. It was impossible to ignore no matter how hard I tried. Moreover the nature of talk was getting more irritating by the minute. His bad voice and loud laughs and volume didnt help at all. People sitting in front as well as standing nearby gave him dirty looks but to no avail. I requested him once to lower his volume but he didnt pay heed. It is then that I decided to pay him back in the same coin.  I started replying to the questions he was putting to his GF  which made him surprised at first. He retorted that he wasnt asking me but his GF. I said I thought he was talking to me and continued replying his telephonic questions. He was beginning to get irritated now. 😆
The others caught on and joined in -- and that made him shut up and get down at the next stop 🤣
Edited by zorrro - 9 years ago
Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: zorrro

😆 😆 I can fully understand. I had one just a few days ago. I was travelling in the city bus. The chap sitting next to me was on and on with his telephonic conversation with his GF at full volume. It was impossible to ignore no matter how hard I tried. Moreover the nature of talk was getting more irritating by the minute. His bad voice and loud laughs and volume didnt help at all. People sitting in front as well as standing nearby gave him dirty looks but to no avail. I requested him once to lower his volume but he didnt pay heed. It is then that I decided to pay irritation him back in the same coin.  I started replying to the questions he was putting to his GF  which made him surprised at first. He retorted that he wasnt asking me but his GF. I said I thought he was talking to me and continued replying his telephonic questions. He was beginning to get irritated now. 😆
The others caught on and joined in -- and that made him shut up and get down at the next stop 🤣


Zorro bhai , aapka toh apna hi alag andaaz hain ! 😉 😎..maan gaye bhai !..⭐️😎...very well handled !!..👏..somehow , u reminded me of "Tenali Raman" ..🤓 🤣
Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: Quixotic5

  

Zorro bhai , aapka toh apna hi alag andaaz hain ! 😉 😎..maan gaye bhai !..⭐️😎...very well handled !!..👏..somehow , u reminded me of "Tenali Raman" ..🤓 🤣

😆 😆
amidstthehues thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
A common response to all that, done with quoting. 🥱

---


Domestic sensibilities or insensible but majorly supported conclusion, anything or everything basically ensures and stems from the comfort of majority here. Compromises are expected from minority. If minority doesn't willingly agree, the compromise is forced upon it as a law. Very immature way of handling things in a country this diverse. Even after having such diverse mindsets, all we could do or afford is a forced compromise. We really have a small comfort zone, going by that. What's the use of this rich variety and complexity then, if everything has to come down to a simple, majorly accepted conclusion? Restriction shouldn't be the ultimate solution to ensure social harmony. Going by diversity, we should be physically and mentally equipped enough to amend social conducts to promote growth as well. Comfort zone is a nice place to be at, but forever. If law is passed this once keeping discomfort of majority in mind, the said majority will get armed enough to form or solidify new discomforts and demand new laws against that. It's kissing now, passing smiles would be banned tomorrow. Even girls can be banned from wearing the clothes they like, going by majority's comfort. All this is going towards more rigidity, not liberty and definitely not growth. 

Let's have a look on how our society responds to different things - 

1. Sex noises in private room at late night - Not okay to unrelated neighbors in adjacent room. Disturbing their sleep, bring law. 

2. Parents who can't control kids in public - Change the place, it's a kid. Kids make noises. Be mature, instead. No charges against parental failure to control their product. What's the need when we can change the place and mind our own business, instead. 

3. Sex noises in public -  Not okay, disgusts us. Law, law, where art thou?  

4. Mata Ka Jagrata at sane hours in public lane making loud noises - How devotional. Let's attend. 

5. Mata Ka Jagrata after 12 at night - Ignore and sleep, instead. (let's not forget this one's louder than sex noises)

6. Married couple doing PDA - Turn around, it's their private moment. 

7. Unmarried couple's PDA  - Look at their nerves. Immoral creatures, polluting the space. LAW, HERE. 

8. Person pees in public - Turn around. Not okay to watch. None of our business, either, unless the said wall is ours. 

9. Sex talks in public -  Disturbing and immoral. 

10. Other loud talks, say business related, in public - Only disturbing. We can deal with that much. Not a prob. 

So basically, it's not noise or untidiness in general that repels society. It's sex that's alarming in a country as populated as ours, talk of irony. 


--- 

With liberty comes responsibility and here it's couple's responsibility to handle the consequences of their actions.

If a couple chooses to display affection in public, it loses rights to demand absolute privacy there. If public wants to watch, it will watch. If it would rather mind its own business, its own choice. Like staring a group of friends taking duck faced selfies or choosing to mind your own business, that choice rests with public. But if public physically interferes against couple's will , the couple should be allowed to take action. If it doesn't, it'd be equivalant to making eve or male teasing legal. Here couple provokes public, there, say, clothes do. And that'd really deteriorate the standards and situation. Watching selfie moment is fine, photo bombing ain't. And on grounds of privacy, I see no difference in taking selfies or making out. 


This one's about kids in public places and how it's inappropriate for them to get such a view. I'll copy paste the response I gave before to bring it to notice to respond to the query put up in against. 

In India, kids are morally restricted from talking about sex and intimacy. It is such a taboo the kid is never comfortable enough to put forth his/her curious questions and doubts to people he should be approaching. There are no sex related talks in a family gathering or discussion. Channels showing such scenes are changed and not watched in a family together. So, even when the kid gets late exposure to intimacy physically, he is preoccupied by it mentally. And he grows up with a mentality that tells him how big of a deal sex is. This restriction ain't healthy, it rather piles up the symptoms, which manifests as disease in late years of that kid's age. It only delays and makes the whole issue more chronic.  We have sexually frustrated adults, eve or male teasers, rapists, pedophiles, abusers. If we've had such healthy morals since ages, why haven't we been able to uproot these immoral issues which are also illegal.

 If kid views such things, he can be guided in right direction, at least. But problem here is not kid's exposure, he gets it during his growing years, anyways. Sex is out there in text books, gossips, internet yada yada. The problem is people themselves feel ashamed of discussing sex with their kids. Kids are refuge taken to house and justify one's discomfort, instead. Edited by amidstthehues - 9 years ago
Posted: 9 years ago

Originally posted by: amidstthehues

A common response to all that, done with quoting. 🥱

---


Domestic sensibilities or insensible but majorly supported conclusion, anything or everything basically ensures and stems from the comfort of majority here. Compromises are expected from minority. If minority doesn't willingly agree, the compromise is forced upon it as a law. Very immature way of handling things in a country this diverse. Even after having such diverse mindsets, all we could do or afford is a forced compromise. We really have a small comfort zone, going by that. What's the use of this rich variety and complexity then, if everything has to come down to a simple, majorly accepted conclusion? Restriction shouldn't be the ultimate solution to ensure social harmony. Going by diversity, we should be physically and mentally equipped enough to amend social conducts to promote growth as well. Comfort zone is a nice place to be at, but forever. If law is passed this once keeping discomfort of majority in mind, the said majority will get armed enough to form or solidify new discomforts and demand new laws against that. It's kissing now, passing smiles would be banned tomorrow. Even girls can be banned from wearing the clothes they like, going by majority's comfort. All this is going towards more rigidity, not liberty and definitely not growth. 

Yes..going by the majority is not always justified..and in some cases its too obvious that the law is biased, judgmental & unjustified..however, coming to the current issue of obscene PDAs , i do not believe it falls in that category..and i believe i had already pointed out the difference between the current issue & other major humanitarian issues..this isnt about freedom of choice but more about few people wanting to impose on others..nobody has asked people to refrain from their sex-life , just that they keep their private life private & not make it difficult for others..is that too much to ask ?..& people who maintain a stand that 'others should just deal with it !' are just being selfish..and in this case, its obvious that people asking for the right to erotic romps in public with total disregard to public's comfort are the ones who are being selfish & not the other way round... 

Let's have a look on how our society responds to different things - 

1. Sex noises in private room at late night - Not okay to unrelated neighbors in adjacent room. Disturbing their sleep, bring law. 

2. Parents who can't control kids in public - Change the place, it's a kid. Kids make noises. Be mature, instead. No charges against parental failure to control their product. What's the need when we can change the place and mind our own business, instead. 

3. Sex noises in public -  Not okay, disgusts us. Law, law, where art thou?  

4. Mata Ka Jagrata at sane hours in public lane making loud noises - How devotional. Let's attend. 

5. Mata Ka Jagrata after 12 at night - Ignore and sleep, instead. (let's not forget this one's louder than sex noises)

6. Married couple doing PDA - Turn around, it's their private moment. - do they smooch in public or make any other spectacle of their sex-life in public & make others uncomfortable ?..🤔..i doubt that..🤔

7. Unmarried couple's PDA  - Look at their nerves. Immoral creatures, polluting the space. LAW, HERE. 

8. Person pees in public - Turn around. Not okay to watch. None of our business, either, unless the said wall is ours. 

9. Sex talks in public -  Disturbing and immoral. 

10. Other loud talks, say business related, in public - Only disturbing. We can deal with that much. Not a prob. 

So basically, it's not noise or untidiness in general that repels society. It's sex that's alarming in a country as populated as ours, talk of irony. 

Intresting observations ! ⭐️.. though i dont agree with few of the comparisons made here ( as was explicitly pointed out in my previous posts) , still it was a good read ..😃
--- 

With liberty comes responsibility and here it's couple's responsibility to handle the consequences of their actions.

If a couple chooses to display affection in public, it loses rights to demand absolute privacy there. If public wants to watch, it will watch. If it would rather mind its own business, its own choice. Like staring a group of friends taking duck faced selfies or choosing to mind your own business, that choice rests with public. But if public physically interferes against couple's will , the couple should be allowed to take action. If it doesn't, it'd be equivalant to making eve or male teasing legal. Here couple provokes public, there, say, clothes do. And that'd really deteriorate the standards and situation. Watching selfie moment is fine, photo bombing ain't. And on grounds of privacy, I see no difference in taking selfies or making out. 

I am not sure if u read the posts that werent directed towards you but had some really intersting discussion going on..i myself quoted a real-life example illustrating how 'irresponsible PDAs' can be intolerable..'a man displaying his loud romantic PDA whilst talking over phone in a public transport'..going by the above logic wouldnt this insensitive man gain an upper hand over public's sensibilities since it supports PDA..but common sense & logic demands that the said man should behave himself in the public..and the same goes for other obscene PDAs as well.. 


This one's about kids in public places and how it's inappropriate for them to get such a view. I'll copy paste the response I gave before to bring it to notice to respond to the query put up in against. 

In India, kids are morally restricted from talking about sex and intimacy. It is such a taboo the kid is never comfortable enough to put forth his/her curious questions and doubts to people he should be approaching. There are no sex related talks in a family gathering or discussion. Channels showing such scenes are changed and not watched in a family together. So, even when the kid gets late exposure to intimacy physically, he is preoccupied by it mentally. And he grows up with a mentality that tells him how big of a deal sex is. This restriction ain't healthy, it rather piles up the symptoms, which manifests as disease in late years of that kid's age. It only delays and makes the whole issue more chronic.  We have sexually frustrated adults, eve or male teasers, rapists, pedophiles, abusers. If we've had such healthy morals since ages, why haven't we been able to uproot these immoral issues which are also illegal.

So what are you suggesting here ?.. that kids coming across couples in obscene situation is actually good for their mental & sexual health ?.. i am not sure if that is the best approach..i believe whats required is keeping communication open , getting over hang ups about talking about sex when kids start to get curious..overall proper sex education should do the trick.. & proper sex education does not equate to live po*nography shown to kids..though many sex education techniques do employ visual tools but that too isnt equal to treating the kids with a couple enjoying in public..i think it will just mess them up..over-exposure at tender age is just as bad as (or may be more ) over-restriction at any age...a fine line needs to be drawn between the two.. 



EDIT :  If kid views such things, he can be guided in right direction, at least. But problem here is not kid's exposure, he gets it during his growing years, anyways. Sex is out there in text books, gossips, internet yada yada. The problem is people themselves feel ashamed of discussing sex with their kids. Kids are refuge taken to house and justify one's discomfort, instead. 

Edited by amidstthehues - 03 November 2014 at 3:12pm 


My God !.. .. so as far as kids are concerned , its their parent's problem & is in no way a concern of people getting involved in obscene PDAs  ..now that is enough to illustrate who is selfish & who is not ..🥱
Now the real question is , is it the parents who take kids to house as a refuge in order justify their discomfort or is it the people involved in obscene PDAs using  "perceived cowardly discomfort of parents'' as an excuse to carry on their selfish unreasonable deeds?...🤓 🤓 
__________________
Edited by Quixotic5 - 9 years ago
amidstthehues thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
^Again that justification is based on whether it is acceptable to majority or not. The current issue ain't that simple or confined to the issue itself, it does revolve around other grounds too. 
Asking a couple to not indulge in PDA is different than taking legal action against those who do; it's not extreme like latter. If couple complies, good for everyone. If it doesn't, why not change your place? It can work both ways. If does or not, depending on majority, is a different thing altogether and shouldn't pave ground for judgement.

Married couple do smooch in public, I've witnessed that much. There are married celebs too who smooched in a news interview that was then aired by media. If that can be overlooked, why not unmarried acts? Is that THE most important issue out there that needs so much attention and specific LAWS to deal with? Live and let live.

I read that incident. Public's revolt against noise should be justified, there. But public revolt against noise ONLY BECAUSE it concerns intimacy shouldn't be justified. I don't know if my point's gonna come across, here. I hope it does. Sex is a part and parcel of life, like many other things. If those many other things can be talked out loud over phone in public and not objected, then why not intimate talks? The ground of protest here is what I am against. Protest for the noise, if you( in general) want. I support that, but on grounds of immoral discomfort. :) 

No, it's not good for their sexual or mental health. Similarly, it ain't bad either. If sexual awareness is created and family talks about sex openly, the 'obscene' scene wouldn't even be that big of a deal to influence anyone. Let alone kids. I made that point because kids were mentioned to be a reason why all this should be banned, in the discussion. Kids know about sex. Banning it won't polish their 'morals'. So why use them as a refuge to make sure it gets banned? 

Couples don't need to make 'Kid-hit me jaari' like rubbish excuses to carry on. 😆 Gross. 
Rather couple shouldn't be blamed for indulging in 'Kid-ahit' acts. For they aren't kid-ahit acts.