Hi everyone... today's episode was fun... but i felt that it was disconnected from the plot in the last few episodes... this is how i want to resolve the jealousy / misunderstanding plot... sorry for the errors... and do let me know how it was... enjoy!!!
TO FIGHT FOR THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE...
The whole house was lit up. Ma and his Jhansi Ki Rani had decorated this sterile service apartment so beautifully that is felt like home... well almost like home. He had thought that this Diwali would have been a very sober one... with all that was going on with the fire at home, Romi's kaand and of course his own stupid foolish assumptions... no one would want to celebrate the festival... but again his Madrasan had proved him wrong... She convinced everyone to celebrate the festival with the same gusto for it was Ananya's first Diwali... and not to forget... Her Ruhi baccha's first Diwali with Papa and Ishima...
Standing in the balcony he looked at the city... but for once he didn't see the smoke, the pollution, the loud noise or the trash on the roads that was the aftermath of bursting crackers... for the first time in six years he saw the lights that adorned all the houses... the laughter that was heard from his neighbor's houses... the splash of color and light in the sky... all because of that one special person... the one who had changed his life... or rather saved his life... his Ishita... his Jhansi ki Rani...
Turning back he absorbed the happy scene in front of him... Simmi, Romi and Mihir playing cards, Ishita and Ruhi making the Rangoli, Papaji and Mummyji looking at their daughter-in-law and grand daughter with happiness and pride... everyone was happy... and all because of one person... in the last eight months she had changed everything in his life... he actually looked forward to the future now... this amazing women had given his life true meaning...
Looking at her he gave his secret smile... the one that was reflected more by twinkle in his eyes than that very subtle tilt of his mouth to one side... she looked beautiful today... simple yet perfect... suddenly she looked up at him as if she knew he was looking at her and smiled... God!!! What a smile... for a moment he was blinded by the look of happiness on her face... but then he noticed something... there had been a hint of confusion in the eyes... just for a fraction of a second... but enough to activate his radar... Ishita was worried about something... there was some khichdi being cooked in that over active brain of hers... and in his gut he just knew... he just knew that whatever it was, it could change everything between them... this delicate status-quo that they had painstakingly established without facing the white elephant in their relationship... the reason for all the pain that they went through in the last few days...
His eyes questioned her but she gave him the same expression that she gave her parents and he could also imagine the dialogue which she would say to them - "Ille Amma... Dont worry... Everything is fine". Usually this would have worked with him... but not today... he had almost lost this wonderful women because of his inability to directly confront her with his insecurities... luckily for him... the matter had sorted itself (with a little help from Simmi) and everything was fine now... but he could see a similar struggle within her... she wanted to ask him something but was scared to do so... He had to do something... He couldn't let her live through the hell he had been living in since the past few days... Deciding that he would sort this matter today he took out his phone and messaged her to meet him downstairs in fifteen minutes... he saw her read the message, frown at her phone and then look at him with doubt... he just showed his watch, pointed towards the door and walked away...
One Hour Later...
He stood downstairs in the parking looking at the wooden bench smiling... remembering the white bench at home and the conversations that took place sitting on it... some with Ishita... and some where he was eavesdropping on her conversations with others... they had helped him understand her... today also he had to do the same...
Suddenly he heard the rustle of silk rubbing against silk and knew... that his Jhansi ki Rani had finally come... he put on his Raavan Kumar persona and turned towards her... "You are late!!! I thought you Madrasis were very time conscious... but you??? Where the hell were you???"
She smiled at him and said "Ruhi spilled oil on her dress... Had to change her dress... Sorry... I should have informed... Anyways... Kya Hua???"...
This was the moment... he looked into her eyes... and with all the sincerity and strength that he could muster, her asked her... "What is the problem Ishita? You look happy but I can see that something is missing... I know that I can be rude and insensitive... but today... I want to know... please... tell me what is troubling you?"
She dropped down on the bench, silent tears falling from her eyes and whispered - "I can't go on like this... We cant go on like this... Raman I am hurting..."
His heart missed a beat... was she really so miserable... was she gonna leave him? NO!!! He would not let that happen... He would fight this time... So he sat next to her and took her hand in his... gently stroking the fading karvachauth mehndi on her palm and asked her... "Why do you hurt Ishita? Please tell me... Give me all your pain today..."
Looking at him in wonder but with a defensive caution she began speaking... speaking from her heart... changing his life forever...
"Raman... We cant go on like this... I know that when we got married it was all about Ruhi... but slowly things changed for me... now it is You and Ruhi... I am scared Raman... what I feel for you is so different... different from anything else before... and it scares me... I am in love with this amazing man and still I couldn't even realize that I was hurting him... I was not wrong in protecting you Raman... I would do it again... but I hurt you Raman... I didn't even realize that all that secrecy was increasing your insecurity and slowly killing you... in the beginning I was just Ruhi's mother... but I chose to change my relationship with you... I chose to become your wife... so I should have known... and I failed... I am sorry Raman... Mani is just a friend... my best friend but only a friend... there was never any choice between the two of you... I had already chosen you... but I hurt you... I should have realized your insecurities and supported you... but you never told me Raman... you never speak about Shagun... and I don't mean about her... rather about how you felt when she left... you don't speak about your feelings Raman... I need the words Raman... its not that I don't get you... its just that the last time I confidently spoke about a man's feelings he left me... left me to face the cruel world... and now I don't trust my judgment.. So I need you to tell me... these last few days have been hell... you really hurt me Raman... I realize that I was at fault also but I did not deserve that public humiliation... or what happened after that... we have to be able to sort out our issues without the help of someone else for this marriage to work... And I want this marriage to work...Tell me what to do Raman... How do we strengthen this relationship?"
He was numb... numb with fear... Ishita was asking him to face the demons of his past... she wanted to know how he felt... he couldn't tell that to anyone... the last time he expressed his feeling they were trampled upon by Shagun... he could not live through that pain again... but then he thought about what she was saying... she had just taken the biggest gamble of her life... faced her biggest fears and spoken from her heart... he also had to do the same... "Ishita.. I don't know how... how to move forward... but I do know this... I cannot lose you... and I am willing to fight... fight for you... you are the most important person in my life... I know I hurt you and I am sorry for that... I know how important trust is for you... I did not trust you before... and there are going to be times in the future when my past will create doubts in my mind... but I promise you this... you will be the first one to know... you will be the person that I will turn to when I need help in maintaining my trust... I know that I cant change overnight... but I will try... I promise that I will talk to you... not just about mundane things... but about what is important to me... and if we need help... we will go to a marriage counselor also... but I need you to hold my hand... I need you to fight for me... Will you do this for me?"
Saying so he lifted his hand... waiting for her to place her hand in his... just like once she had waited for him once... the day that they decided that they would work towards becoming the best parents for Ruhi and Adi... Today he was the one who waiting... waiting for a chance to fight for their marriage... to fight for her... TO FIGHT FOR THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE...
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