Part 21
Kushiyan…kya hai? Kisiko paise mein kushiyan nazar athi hai aur kisiko uske pyar mein. Magar, kya kushiyan sach mein hammari zindagi mein hai? Kya hamari chahat mein kushiyan nazar athi hai? Meri zindagi ab tak kushiyoon ko kabhi nahi dekhi… Kabhi nahi mehasos kiya. Mein sirf is shabd ko janthi hoon. Magar iska mathlab, mera liya anjaan hai. Hamesh, maine sapne dekhi hai. Magar aj tak, ek bhi sach nahi hua. Maine koi raj kumar ka spane nahi dekhi. Maine to sirf ek parivaar chaha, jise mein, main be shamil hoon. Papa to meri parva kabhi nahi ki. Hamesh rohit hi important hai, unke liya. Mein unke dhuniya mein kabhi nahi thi. Magar, mujhe rohit se koi shikayat nahi hai. Balki, main uski kushiyan chathi hoon. Par, yeh bhi sach hai ki, main kisi ko pasand nahi athi. Sab mujhe ignore kar tha hai. Aur meri margzi, kabhi nahi pooochi jathi hai. Meri shaadhi paki ho gayi, Saahil se. Meri margzi koi nahi jane kooshish ki. Phir achanak meri shaadi Ranveer si hua hai. Aj se meri nayi zindagi shuru hoti hai. Aur kya pata, shayad meri kushiyaan yaha hai…
He flipped the page…
It is said that you should never have hopes on the things u want. Never expect anything from anyone as it saves u less pain/ hurt when things turn out to be the opposite. And today I understand why. I hoped to have a better life in this new relation ship with Ranveer. But who knew that darkness will fall over my path and I will be lost. Yesterday was suppose to be my Wedding Night, but the relationship between us ended even before it started. But, it is nothing new to me. But yes, I will not leave hope so soon. I will win ranveer one day. And that one day, will be the happiest day of my life. All these years I learned to adjust and accept my fate. And yes, I accepted my fate, but not my defeat. I never got what I wanted. But this time, I will not let go of my hopes that easily.
Ranveer closed the diarly at once. I can't believe I made Raashi's life hell. She expected so much from me. She wanted a better life than what she had before, he thought. But he opened to a new page and started reading.
Why is that I always have to be the unlucky one? First it was my papa, then ranveer and now mummyji. What is my fault that she starts yelling at me for no reason. I always try to do my best and be a good DIL, but she is always mad at me. And anyways, life is becoming very hard for me. Since the time I found about ranveer's and mummyji's plan, I feel uneasy, whenever ranveer is around. Even though I am helping mami, I feel awkward hiding things from ranveer. But what to do, that is my life. It is taking unknown turns and each day is becoming more and more difficult for me to gain his love.
Ranveer flipped to a new page. There he saw dried tear drops.
Darkness is falling every where in my life. Today, Ranveer raised his hand on me. I felt as if that was the end. He was raging at me like a burning fire. And I proved bani mami wrong, just to save him. Even though I feel so guilty for letting mami down, I cannot destroy my last hope. Even though things are becoming more and more difficult for me in this house, I want to give it another chance. Even though I know my hope will sink deep into the sea, I still see light at the end of the tunnel I am in right now. My brain is refusing to take any more grief even though it has been my friend ever since I can remember. But my heart just doesn't agree with it. There are arguments between my mind and heart everyday, every hour, every minute and every second, which is disturbing me a lot. But I made my final decision. I will try once again and if I really lose the light at the end of the tunnel this time, I will let go of my hope and let it sink deep into the sea…
OMG!!!!!!!!! What have I done. I hurt Raashi so much. I can't believe that this me. How could I hurt that poor girl so much? But he opened to a new page and immersed himself once more into Raashi's feelings…
OVER! Everything is over. Mine and Ranveer's relationship is over. Today… was probably the worst day of life. It was so painful for me to break ties with a man I have been living with for the past two years. But I don't even have a choice. Everyone's benefit is only that me and him don't share a relation anymore. I broke every single tie with him today, with my own hands. I don't know if I should be sad that our relationship broke, annoyed at my fate, disappointed at myself and angry at ranveer for hurting me so much. Today, he crossed all the limits. They say that a person can take only so much. And yes, I had ENOUGH of all this. There are too many turns and twists with my life. Each twist leads to a turn. I never loved ranveer… but I expected a good life with him. But, my dream is broken once again. I am sick and tired about all the ill things happening with me. I want a break from all this. I want to run away from everyone. I want to go to a corner, where I can cry out my heart. I want to go to someone who can give me their shoulder and console me. I want to go to place where I can only get love…
Tears formed into Ranveer's eyes. Her life is full of grief and I am the reason for it. I can't believe myself… He skipped a few pages and his eyes rested once again on Raashi's curvy writing…
What is happening to me? Everyday, I would sit and wait for Ranveer's call. If he is even one minute late in calling me, I will be angry. I enjoy talking to him. The whole day, I wait for the day to end… I wait for his call. When his voice hits my ears, my heart is overjoyed. When ever he says my name with such careness, I feel as if I am on the top of the world. Why is this happening to me? I never felt like this for anyone. I feel as if I am attached to him… as if there is no life beyond him… as if he is the one where my happiness resides in…as if I belong to him. Is this what I have been waiting for? Is this what I expected from my new life?… is this love? I don't have any answers to this… maybe this is an other twist that will lead to my destruction. The more I explore in this new and unkown world, I fear I am entangling myself even more in this web of fate…
hope you enjoyed teh two long parts. Sry if i bored u to death. But this will be the last part in the flashback. from the next part, we are back with our favourite couple, jai and bani. 😉
Au revoir!
awesome updates
ranveer learn something from that diary..........give her a new life....a life full of happiness and joy.......never let a tear out of her eye.............then only you will be able to forgive urself for what you have caused to bani mammi and raashi..........never let any misunderstanding come between u guys......this is sad....
continue soon
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