I had been doing pre-wedding shopping with Haya, when she signed to me something that I had always tried not to think about.
'Are you in love with your husband?'' she signed to me with a huge smile on her face. For a second I pretended not to understand her question or rather tried to ignore it. I didn't know the answer to that neither did I want to know it. Right? Right. I convinced myself it was better to steer clear of all of this especially with Jalladh Jin.
However, Haya was adamant. She signed the question again, I simply nodded to stall her and pointed to a set of bangles in a stall nearby which caught her attention and the topic was diverted at the time, however it had caught my attention and I had thought about it all the way home. The car came to a halt, I didn't see Aahil's car in the drive way.
Was he not at home?'
Why?'
He's usually at home at this time'
Where is he?'
A series of questions and statements sprang up in my mind. Wait why am I thinking about him? And why do I even care? Let these three months pass by quickly and I'll be out of this sham of a marriage!
Are you sure you want that Sanam?' asked my conscience as if mocking me. Yes ofcourse I wanted it, who would want to marry Aahil?'
Ok maybe a lot of people did.'
I made my way onto my bedroom, I mean our bedroom, No I mean Aahil's bedroom. Yes that is what it was. I hope he likes this tux. He would look so drop dead gorgeous in it.
It took a second for my mind to register what I had thought. No, no- I mean -yes he is good looking but why am I even thinking like this?
'Sanam! You're back!'' Latif entered the room swinging his plait back and forth, as I placed the bags in the cupboard. 'Aahil Baba was wondering where you were'' he continued further.
'Why?'' I asked her rather dim-wittedly.
'Ya Allah! What do you mean why? He's your husband and he loves you.'' Latif said, answering me as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
My eyes went wide and I was puzzled.
'How do you know when you're in love?'' I thought aloud loudly, forgetting Latif's presence in the room.
Latif pursed his lips together and placed one of his fingers on his chin.
'Well for one you're addicted to this person'' Latif said blushing for some unknown reason. 'You think about them day and night! And all day'' he said continuing his previous statement ending it with a sigh this time.
Was I addicted to Aahil?'' I thought, I mean I don't think about him day and night do I? Ok maybe I do, but that's because of the current situation we're in and I'm sure it will pass eventually'' I convinced myself.
'Hmm.. what else?'' Latif said, twisting his mouth in a frown as he thought further.
'You want people close to you, to like the person,you're in love with'' He said.
' Ok I do want Haya and her future family to like Aahil, and they already do.'' I thought with a smile, I mean everyone liked him? Right? Plus I only want them to like Aahil because he's my husband and everything'
'Oh ho! Sanam why are you blushing? Huh?'' Latif teased me, nudging my arms twice''
' I'm not doing anything like that!'' I negated Latif's word, gaining my composure.
Latif frowned at me, then smiled again.
'Ohh! You want to make this person feel special, especially when they're feeling down. Like I do with Aahil Baba'' Latif said, whispering the last part.
'With who?'' I repeated a little loudly, feeling a little annoyed.
'no one!'' Latif replied, adding a nervous laughter at the end.
That got me thinking again. I don't want to make him feel special and I never have.'
Pure lies, Sanam. My conscience barged in my thoughts.
' You remembered his birthday when no one else did!
Ugh shut up! It was one time!' I said annoyed, albeit out loudly.
'What was one time? And did you tell me to shut up?'' Latif asked, his mouth opening in surprise at the latter part.
'No! no! I was talking to myself.'' I said, hoping to console Latif. Sanam, you're losing it these days.
'Oh, okay if you say so!'' Latif smiled again, making me smile with him. He was a really good friend.
'Another one! You start worrying about them and take extra care of them, Like you worry about Aahil Baba when he comes home late!'' he said with a teasing smile on his face.
Fine I do that! But that's because he's my husband right?' I questioned myself.
Temporary husband' my mind corrected, feeling a twinge of pain in my heart
And that is the reason you take his clothes out for him, hand him his wallet, Iron his clothes yourself. Right? my conscience butted in again.
Hmph'
'And?'' I implored Latif.
'And what else? Hmm... You start getting jealous! Very jealous. ' he said while chuckling.
I've never been jealous! Ok I have sometimes like Nida, Aahil's friends and at times Latif.''
'So you're in love huh!'' Latif joked.
'N-No. there's nothing like that.'' I said denying Latif.
'Yeah sure!'' Latif winked at me and then left the room.
'Oh My God. I'm in love with Jalladh Jin'' as the realization dawned leaving a smile on face as I hugged the tux I had bought for him closer to me.
Ohh and don't follow this as a quiz if you're in love. Because I don't know if it's true I'm just a hopeless romantic 😆 R&R
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