6~*NOT just a passionate affair ~*Pt 45 -Wake up Jalal!

24th September

OSR PART 44 - Why Jodha, why?

EXAM CENTRE

11:45 AM - INSIDE THE EXAM CENTRE

The date was the 24th of September. It was the third day of the fourth sem examinations. The subject was Government, Society and Business. Apart from that, he knew little else of the paper he'd just submitted. Having made his early way out of the packed exam halls, the lone young man silently crawled away from the emptyish long corridors. No surprise that each step felt heavier than the previous. Yet, he had to somehow drag his feet along and leave, before the crowds started pouring out of the hall. He'd done the same for the previous two papers and that's what he intended to do for the remaining three too - drifting into the hall barely on time and leaving the centre at least half an hour early.

The dark spell continued, the last two weeks of his life being just as dark and the next two would possibly be - all synonyms of the words 'hope' and 'cheer' now eradicated from his dictionary. MBA, exams, college life, conversations, meeting people - even the close ones - didn't seem to matter anymore. His very attendance at the exams were only to fulfill a promise he'd made to his ammi. If not, he simply had no social existence now - and he preferred it that way for however long it would take. After all, he could not stand the thought of having to witness his own life being judged, dissected and scandalized by those he knew and didn't know alike.

Well, his depressed mind was in no state to greet friends with a fake 'Hey...I'm alright' grin and the last thing his battered self-respect needed was being subjected to 'pitiful' looks from acquaintances. Most of all, his restless spirit could do without having to listen to the same unproductive questions being repeatedly posed to him

'We just heard about it, Jalal ...how are you coping?'

'What went wrong between Jodha and you...'

'We thought you guys were great together...aisa kyaa hogayaa yaar?'

So; with his backpack hanging on his lifeless form, he scampered back to his car to escape it all. He had to return to his hideaway - to his retreat - his room. He had to sleep the pain off. Who knew? Maybe the agony would lessen a bit, when he awoke. Then again, maybe not.

12:30 PM - - OUTSIDE THE EXAM CENTRE

'How would you say the paper went?'

'Errr...' Salim delved upon the questions for a bit 'Not too bad actually...'

'I'd say 50...50' chipped Abdul in, as he slung his bag across his shoulder

'Me too' she nodded, as Renu hastened her strides to keep up with the boy-gang heading out of the exam centre 'What about you, Maan?'

'The paper was quite good yaar...' the nerdy chap smiled sheepishly 'By the looks on everyone's faces I think all five of us...I... I...I... mean all f...four of us are expecting good results for THIS one...' a short lull instantly fell amongst the group. Maan's fumble had given them another unpleasant reminder of the absence of the 'fifth' member from their generally five-member-group 'Waise...' he spoke up thence, his mood more sombre now 'Did Jalal come today? I didn't even see him...'

'He did...' Abdul let out a long sigh 'But I don't know if he completed the paper...I saw him leave early...'

'God...' Renu crunched her eyes in disgust, bringing her pace to a halt 'Why IS he doing this to himself?'   

'I've tried speaking him out of it... many times...but...I think...'

'F**k!' she suddenly interrupted Abdul, her voice turning loud enough to be heard over the commotion of students around them 'Talk of the devil...' she paused 'I mean talk of the bitch and the bitch is here...'

The group were compelled to shift their attention to a far left - and to a swarm of juniors making their way towards the centre for their 2nd semester exams.

'Here yaar' Jodha handed Meera the bunch of notes, while hurrying on her journey 'We have sometime to go... tab tak, we should be able to revise these print outs...'

'Yup...' Meera nodded and quickly shuffled the papers into her hand, the pre-exam nerves evident on her face

'Waise... Payal...' she turned to her friend on the right 'You're joining us for tuition today evening? Exam ke baad?'

'Nahi yaar...' Payal winced 'Tuition wution sab next semester pe dekhloongi...cos I...'

'H - e - l - l - o Jodha'

The dripping sarcasm in the tone of that greeting brought their engrossed conversation to a sudden halt.

'Huh?' having just come away from the study material she was perusing through, Jodha looked up to greet her caller - only to be challenged by an intensely bitter glare staring her in the face 'Oh...hello Renu' she replied, not too startled by the hostile reactions she was witnessing just then

'Hello...everyone...' Payal added with an awkward smile, as Salim, Maan and Abdul were quick to join their small gathering 'Hi Maan... how did the paper go?'

'Hi dear...it went good...'

'Hello guys...'

'CUT the crap...' Renu put a stop to the introductions, by taking a bold step towards Jodha 'You could at least ACT guilty... ACT sorry...for what you've done to him...'

'What?' she frowned, trying to remain unfazed by the abrupt queries being flung at her in public

'Oh puleeezzee... just wipe that fake look of innocence off your face, ok?' Renu folded her arms in disdain 'In the past two weeks... not once... not even ONCE you approached us to find out how he's doing...'

'Renu yaar...' Abdul wedged himself into the conversation, his tone quite composed 'Forget about it na...this is going to change nothing, is it?'

'Yeah... he's right...' the rest of the guys swiftly joined in 'Let's discuss all this later...'

Obviously, the men were not willing to be a part of this confrontation. At least, not at this point in time. The setting was too public, the situation too delicate and the topic too personal to be broached in this manner.

'Log dekh rahe hain Renu...'

'Besides, they have to go in for their exams now...'

'Achaa?' she retorted aloud, without so much as casting a glance back at her gang. Their efforts to quell her agitated approach were definitely not working 'Then, what about JALAL's exams? What about HIS prospects that she totally ruined? If all she wanted to do was unceremoniously dump him and get engaged to someone else, couldn't she have waited till AFTER the exams to do so...that chap gave up his marks, his attendance, his everything for her... and in return, she ditched him...' so scornfully had she pointed her finger at Jodha just then, that she'd nearly jabbed her victim on the shoulder as she did so 'By the way Miss Ungrateful, do you know he's started drinking heavily thanks to...'

'Renuuu...' Abdul kneaded his forehead in frustration 'Remember what Jalal'd said...'

'And do you know?' she charged on, overriding Abdul's endeavours 'He doesn't pick any of OUR calls...he doesn't listen to anything to we have to say...' she threw her hands in the air 'Thanks to you... we've lost our friend... and he's lost his friends...'

'Renuuu... Jalal had specifically requested us NOT to...'

'What is it with you guys...' she shifted her momentary attention to the group who were busy trying to shut her up 'You guys are cowards... you lot can be hush hush about it, if you choose to...but, I can't!' spinning around to confront Jodha, she went on to observe her placid expressions closely - a disgusted smirk gradually erupting on her lips 'Not an ounce of remorse on your face...wow...' she nodded her head 'He'd started a campaign for your sake na.. across all of college... the anti-eve teasing campaign ...and you'd been praised by everyone for it... I so want to start an anti-Jodha campaign across college now...and show everyone your true colours...'

'Dekh...' Payal stepped in at that juncture - she'd had enough. As it is, they were tensed about the upcoming paper. This public humiliation was the last thing they needed right then 'I know you're really pissed off... but this is not the way to speak to Jodha in front of everyone...' she pitched her quiet boyfriend a quick glare to goad him into action 'Maan, why don't you say something...'

'God!' sensing the deteriorating circumstances, Abdul approached Renu and placed a firm hand on her shoulder to snap her out of it - his voice not as composed as it'd been a minute ago 'STOP IT...Jalal had told us...NOT to discuss his life and his problems behind his back...and NOT to make a spectacle of it...remember?'

'Ok' came her much-awaited response, bringing the ongoing arguments to a brief standstill 'Ok...I'm sorry for everything...' she offered them a quick apology, hoping it would end the friction for then 'I had no other go but to make this choice...anyway, I don't expect you all to understand me...' before anyone could say anything to those diplomatic excuses of hers, she hurriedly turned sideways to address her own friends 'Girls let's go...it's getting late...'

'W..what!' Renu stuttered for a few seconds, flummoxed by Jodha's halfhearted show of regret 'Stop Jodha!' she called out to the group of three who'd already begun proceeding in the direction of the hall's large double doors 'WHY? Don't have the guts to listen to what else I have to say...' she angrily ranted on - but alas, her protests were only another failed bid to express her resentment.

It wasn't too long before the trio were totally out of earshot.  

1:00 PM - INSIDE THE EXAM CENTRE - THE CORRIDORS

'Ye Payal kahaan chali gayee? Arre Meera...woh Supply Chain Management ka question bank ek second pass karna...' the preoccupied junior requested in haste, compelled to yell over the clamour of noisy students around her

'Here...' Meera managed to fish out the file from the bundle of papers she was precariously balancing 'Lo Jodha...'

'By the way, I came across these points about direct vs online marketing yesterday...' she promptly leaned across to pick out a mid-sized book from her bag. Flipping through the pages in a jiffy, her eyes lit-up as soon as she'd arrived at the chapter she was after 'Just glance through them... they're really cool...'

'Jodha...'

'Haan bol...' she nodded, while proceeding to browse through the question bank in her hand

'JODHA...LOOK at me na...' Meera called out on a stern note, briefly intruding into her friend's frantic last-minute exam preps. There was something eating away at her mind and she felt like she just couldn't concentrate on the subject till she got the concerns off her chest 'I'm your bestie yaar... you don't have to hide what you feel, ok?' she heaved empathetically 'What Renu said to you outside...some time ago... must have hurt you like hell...why haven't you spoken anything about it yet?'

O-KAY! Drawing in a long and hard breath, Jodha leaned back on the wall and put the papers down for a moment. Well, she'd expected the long overdue questions to come - sometime - somewhere - and here they were 'Of course, it hurt like hell...' her confession was soft 'How would it not hurt? But then again, she's right at her place na...' she shrugged her shoulders heavy-heartedly 'I'm just trying to look at the positives... and I'm feeling a bit better now...'

'W...what... what do you mean?'

A short spell of stillness later, Jodha revealed her wise opinions on the touchy issue 'You know Meera...when Renu used to act all crabby and bossy... I used to wonder WHAT the boy-gang saw in her that they liked hanging out with her...I realize why now...' she paused 'And I also realize why Jalal holds her in such high regard...unlike many others, she's the only one capable of telling someone the ugly facts on their face... she's gutsy... practical... and most importantly, very protective of her close ones...' she glanced aside to dart her pal a half-smile 'She's the one who's going to get Jalal out of his depression...even if she has to drag him out of his room to do that. She is not going to let him stay like this for long...she's not going to allow him to drown in his sorrows ...and that's why I said, I'm feeling a bit better now...'

'But I still don't understand why you're doing this to him AND to yourself?' Meera asked,  just as perplexed now as she was a minute ago

'Listen dear... we're going to go to the tuition together na...wahaan explain karti hoon... chalo... let's concentrate on our paper now ok?'

'Fine... fine...'

TUITION - THE PROFESSOR'S HOUSE

Sipping on their glasses of water, the two ladies tried hard to contain their embarrassment - like they had been for so long as the professor rushed about to finish up on his chores. Well, how else could they to react to their own oversight? So engrossed had Meera been in catching up on the stories - so distracted had Jodha been while narrating the incidents, that they hadn't even bothered looking at the time. They hadn't realized how early they'd turned up for their tuitions. At least; not until they'd come to face with a mildly stunned professor and his mess-of-a-house.

So; while the unfortunate man went about quickly tidying his books, piles of clothes, his yoga mat and the medicine strips from the table - the girls had no other go but to sit put on the sofa and patiently wait for him to finish. It was only when the man disappeared into his room more than ten minutes later that the girls could finally share a few glances and hush words thereon    

'God, we're so stupid...' Meera whispered with half-a-giggle

'I know...' Jodha frowned faintly

'Ok forget about all this...tell me then...' Meera pressed on, eager to resume from where they'd last left off 'What were you saying... why did you not want bhaiyya to go to Jalal's place?'

No sooner than she heard the troubling queries being put forth once again, Jodha exhaled in worry - almost like she needed to muster a lot of grit before recalling those disturbing scenes 'Because, bhaiyya wanted to meet his family to humiliate them...' she faltered for a second, finding herself very uncomfortable about disclosing her family's recent not-so-pleasant deeds 'When Bade bhaiyya and Kranthi bhaiyya were ready to seek Jalal out, they had cricket bats in their hands...they wanted to beat him up...'

'WHATTT!' Meera's eyes widened in shock

'Shhh... speak softly...'

'What!'

'Yeah...it was horrible...I had to agree to the engagement just to stop them from leaving...' she shuddered as the distressing flashbacks returned. God, how she wished she could just erase those painful memories off - memories of incidents where she'd found herself gradually getting disillusioned by her own ones 'It was like a scene out of some movie or something... ' her voice commenced shaking, prompting her friend to hold her hand in support 'I realized that the more I resisted, the more everyone was turning hostile... can you imagine as a daughter, what I must have gone through when witnessing my mama sitting in front of the mandir and refusing food for days on end... when papa emotionally blackmailed me by seeking promises on his hospital bed ... when my loving bhaiyya started threatening me? I do understand...they're afraid of the repercussions this would cause back in our hometown, since our extended families there are very orthodox ...still, they needn't have gone so overboard...that's why, I had to put a stop to it... I was beginning to get embittered by my own family... and I didn't like it...'

'God... you've been through HELL yaar' an evidently disappointed Meera acknowledged on a low note 'I knew your family would pose problems... but it's more severe than I thought...'

'Haan... I hadn't predicted THIS sort of a backlash...' she withdrew her jittery fingers from Meera's clasp thereon

'But you could have confided all this to Jalal, na?' Meera suggested out of concern 'Jalal would have understood and helped...'

'Yes... and Jalal being Jalal will try and come up with solutions. He wouldn't give up and he wouldn't let me give up, when the truth is that I don't want him to do anything for now...'

'Fine then...at least, you could tell him everything...everyone wouldn't misunderstand you like this...and Jalal wouldn't be THIS miserable...'

At that instant, Jodha had to look away. She needed a moment to herself. Her mind was suddenly battling such an overwhelming maze of emotions that it was taking all her available strength just to stay poised. Her gazes floated away for a while - veering towards the window beside her and the busy scenes outside it 'You think I'm happy? But, it is him being THIS miserable that's probably going to keep him alive...how do I make you understand yaar?'  

'What happened?' Meera pushed for an answer, noticing how she no longer had her friend's attention 'Why are you not telling Jalal anything?'

'Because, I received another death threat from the stalker...' Jodha murmured lifelessly 'MMS recording... filming him in his car...'

An eerie silence prevailed for a few seconds

'GOD!' Meera covered her mouth in shock 'This is crazy...'

'That is when I caved in... I gave up... I broke it off...because, if anything happened to him...I'd never be able to forgive myself...'

'Have you gone to the police yet?'

'Police?' she smirked, while still gaping at the life on the bustling roads 'They're nothing but an inefficient bunch of bullies who haven't taken ANY action yet...and with the creep stalking Jalal and I, going to the police is only turning out riskier...so, I'm not concerning myself with the police anymore...'

'But don't give up, Jodha'

Give up? Well, she'd definitely given up on the inefficient law force system. She'd also given up on society's narrow-minded ideals that would let innocents like herself and Jalal be punished for their choices, while perverts like Shareef and criminals like the stalker were roaming around scot-free. However, one thing she'd resolved NOT to give up on was her own 'self' and her own 'abilities' - and that was something she was persistently sticking to. She was doing what needed to be done - but by depending on her judgement and HER judgement alone.

She'd needed a computer technician who would be able to help her unravel some truths about the MMS and yet, a person who would do so without charging her a single Rupee! She needed someone she'd known for long enough - someone she could trust implicitly - and yet, someone she was confident would stay out of the stalker's radar. Thankfully, she'd found just the guy and the means to get him onboard!

'You're taking advantage  of the fact that you have an extra smart brother...who has a bit of spare time on his hands...'

'Wah... a bit of spare time? You have plenty of spare time, Vishal bhaiyya...please tell me what you can about where this MMS clipping was sent from na...'

'Achaa? And what about the risks involved? I'm doing a pretty risky thing here...if bade bhaiyya finds out... I'll be grounded... along with you...'

'No one bothers snooping around on YOUR stuff...all that treatment is only reserved for me... anyway...' she looked down, her expressions commencing to appear quite grief-stricken 'I thought...I could at least depend on you... but looks like no one understands my plight here...' by this stage, the grimaces on her face were emotional enough to look real - emotional enough to tug at the heart strings of even the most nonchalant of brothers

'Ok... ok...choti... stop the drama...' he'd nearly slapped his forehead there 'But, what do I get in return for this?'

'Thanks bhaiyya' she put on a smile of instant relief - wiping off the tear that she'd literally had to squeeze out of her eyelids 'I'll tidy up all of your your electronic equipment...your dvds, wires everything... you can tell mamma YOU did it...'

'Not enough...'

'I'll tidy up AND make you your favourite chilli cheese toast...'

'Nah...not enough'

'I'll tidy up after you for a MONTH!'

'Errr... ok... I'll think about it...'

'BHAIYYAAA!'

'Fine fine... don't scream... I'll do it...'

'Jodha... you've gone all mum again...I'd asked you why you didn't tell Jalal anything about the MMS?'

Mildly flinching at the light tap she felt on her shoulder, Jodha snapped out of her daze thereafter 'I wish I could have told Jalal the truth and put him out of his misery...but I can't...' she began playing with her nails, hints of her well-buried nervousness now starting to show through 'If I told Jalal the truth, his agony wouldn't be real... and the stalker would pick that up in no time, since he knows Jalal too well... who knows how mad it'd make an already madman...who knows how badly he'd retaliate...how could I take that risk? So, I had to opt for a temporary heartache over a permanent one!' a guilty haze soon glossed over her doe-eyes 'And I don't want to tell you anything Meera, because I don't want to put YOU in trouble too... the person who's sent the MMS is probably someone who knows you too... ' she eventually turned away from the window vista and back towards her company, her mellow stares pleading for some patience from her bestie 'I'm sorry that I can't explain any further now Meera...but I want you to promise me that you'd never repeat a word of anything I've said, to anyone...not even to Payal or to Abdul...ok?'

'But... w...why?'

Jodha folded her palms as a gesture of request, aware that what she was asking was possibly something that'd work against her friend's conscience 'Meera...Payal is a very sweet girl...a very close friend... but, she's a chatterbox... and actually, I trust no one else from that group... so please...just for my sake.. promise me that you'd tell no one...'

'Ok...ok... I understand buddhu...you come first for me!' setting Jodha's palms down, the moved young lady observed the latent melancholy in her face for a short while 'So THIS IS IT for you two? Damn yaar... everyone loved you two...nazar lag gayee tum donon ki jodi ko... shyea...I'm so annoyed...' she wiped a stray tear that was beginning to fog her sight 'How much it would pain him to think that you've moved on... and how far would it pain you, when he moves on? I can only imagine...'

'Move on?' Jodha let out a miserably cynical laugh. Moving on was something she was confident neither he could do, nor she. EVER! After all, what they'd had was no brief fling. It wasn't just about a relationship that prided itself on many interesting dates and witty conversations. It was about a sublime companionship that they'd both discovered in each other - a beautiful bonding that most others could only ever hope for. What they both shared - even on that fateful evening - was not just the consequence of superficial attraction. It was Not Just a Passionate Affair. It was something magical, meaningful and wholesome - to both.

She had no regrets now. She'd finally grown to find peace within herself about her decisions, actions and her changed mindset - but not without his gentle guidance that'd helped her do so first. Like her family feared, her priorities had shifted - but it was only because her man was worth it in every way! So, moving on was impossible! How could they move on from something truly irreplaceable?

'What we have...its too precious...in fact, it's irreplaceable... to me...AND to you...' a soft grin broke out on a corner of her lips as she recalled his final words fondly

'You're missing him, right?' Meera enquired, noting the fresh sparkle in a pair of eyes that'd been listless for so long

Jodha nodded 'You know how headstrong we both are...you know how egoistic we both are... yet in the past 8 months, Jalal and I didn't have a single major argument... that's how well we understood and complemented each other...tho it's obvious, I'll miss him...'

Actually, she was playing down her emotions grossly. Missing? She YEARNED for him! Any second that went by where she didn't have something to recall about him, was a rare second indeed! When there'd been not a dull minute in his company - when there'd been not a day where she hadn't learnt something new from him - when there'd rarely been a touch of his that hadn't turned her on, how could she not miss him? What wouldn't she do to be back in his arms - to experience his husky voice whispering sweet-nothings into her ears - to relish the scents of his tantalizing cologne dotted on his neck. What wouldn't she do to just lie on his lap for five minutes and savour the feel of his fingers combing through her hair 'Be patient my heart' she had to tell herself many times a day 'It'll all come back...'

'Plus, you're engaged to a guy you have no interest in... having to put up with this Rishabh's phone calls and dinner dates... damn...' Meera rolled her eyes 'I wish something happens... and the engagement gets cancelled...'

'Huh?' Jodha gasped, mildly surprised by the abrupt venting. Yes, the offtopic had dragged her away from her dreamy 'Jalalian' reverie - but, the anger in her pal's tone was so adorable that she couldn't help but smile.

Besides; much like Meera, she was fervently wishing for Rishabh to call off this rocky engagement too. However, unbeknown to Meera - she KNEW it should happen sometime soon. After all, it'd been a week since she'd let half the college know of this particular development.

So if her calculations were right, it was just a matter of time before the stalker struck again - and on his new victim, Rishabh Raghuvanshi!

24th October

OSR PART 45 - Wake up Jalal!

JALAL'S BEDROOM

Soon enough, his sleepy smiles turned into amused grins. Ms. Singh definitely didn't like the air conditioner's chilly breeze blowing over her face - not only had she pulled the blanket right over her head, she'd firmly clasped it in place even amidst deep sleep!

Giving in to a playful streak at that instant, the besotted young man leaned over and gently tucked away the bedsheet at one of it's folds. Slowly gliding the silken cloth downwards, he observed the emerging miracles - the attractive features on her tranquil face. Oh yes, he'd studied the artistic outlines of her shut eyes and the pinkness of her still lips many times before too - but, not when she was fast asleep - and definitely not under the diffused light of the moon.

Another spurt of mischievousness suddenly surging within, the roused boyfriend slipped the blanket off a bit further till he could reclaim her velvety shoulders for himself. Wasting no time, he acted upon his frisky intentions by mapping his fingers along the excitable points on her exposed skin.

A short spell thus and Jalal let out a delighted grin. She'd begun subconsciously wriggling in reaction to his caress. Deciding to progress on the teaser thereon, he allowed his lips to take over.

As he kissed his way along her tender back, he got a shade more adventurous along the way and toyed around the sensitive curves of her waist with a gentle nibble of his teeth - betting that it should make even her drowsy pulse soar . Surely enough, the sensual devilry paid off.

'Ohooo Jalal' she groaned in near despair a second later, her voice still croaky from having been hauled out of an intense slumber 'What are you doing? Why haven't you slept yet?'   

'I can't seem to sleep...' he whispered 'Not with you lying beside me... looking like this...'

'Achaa?' she smiled with her eyes still sealed 'So you'll experiment your mischief on me, then?'

'Of course...'  

'Badmaash...' she swore while lazily freeing herself from his hold. Using up a good bit of will thereafter, she propped herself up and leaned across the bed, grabbing his mobile from the bedside table 'Baap re... it's 2 AM...' she dropped back on the pillow 'I have to leave...my parents... bhaiyya... everyone's going to kill me...'

'Nooo...not again... don't leave so soon...' he objected with the cutest of frowns he could put on, though aware that his attempts to stall her departure would only be futile 'Thodi der baad, I'll drop you off na...'

Flipping around to face him, she watched his expressions with a dreamy gaze. With one hand still holding the covers over her bare body - the most personal possession of hers that she'd willingly submitted to him hardly two hours ago - she put the other hand up to encase his gruff jawline 'I have to leave...by myself...' came her gentle reminder, a minute after

'Jo...' he peered into the hazel eyes that were reading him 'I don't know why... but I'm not very comfortable about you leaving like this...' he asked her what was playing on his mind 'Are you in a hurry to leave because you're still unsure... about... I mean do you still have doubts about what we shared just now?'

'Do I look like I have doubts about us?' the self-assured girlfriend shook her head 'No... no more Jalal... not after how beautifully you explained it all to me...' she blinked at her guy affectionately 'What we experienced wasn't because of a few moments of weakness...it was because of many moments of strength... I've accepted it wholeheartedly now...'

'Then...' he paused - the cuteness in his frowns getting a tad more serious now 'If you have no doubts ... if you're so sure about our relationship...why are you leaving... and when will you be back?'

'Jalal' she sighed quietly in response to his adorable protests 'We've discussed this before... you know that I have to go now...but, I will be back... why do you worry so much...' with a few reassuring strokes, she continued to explain lovingly 'It's only for some time that I am to be gone...'

'Damn' the unconvinced boyfriend looked aside, wishing he could come up with SOMETHING that would put off this goodbye session - but he never could. Not this night. Not the many nights before this 'Why do you have to be gone?' moving forth, he enwrapped his palms around her face 'Tell me your problems Jo...I'll set them straight for you...'

Understanding his concerns in all earnest, she kissed the fingers now enveloping her cheeks 'Trust me sweetheart... if I'm leaving so abruptly, it's only because I have very strong reasons to do so...and I WILL tell you about it when the time comes...but always remember one thing...' a blissful haze steadily glossed over her stares 'Jodha has to come back to her Jalal... she has no place else to go...' bringing her palm upon the left side of his chest, she waited for a moment in order to be able to feel his beats. Once her fingers sensed the rhythms of his heart, she drew herself closer and planted him a warm kiss right there 'This is where I live...' she confessed, before curling herself onto his physique 'And we're meant to be together... forever... never ever forget that...but...' she concluded with her final reminders once again 'You have to wake up now... and let me go... ok?'

Bundling his girl into a snug embrace, he adamantly chose not to respond to that last statement of hers

'Jalal...' she nudged him again 'You have to wake up...and you have to let me go...'

'Jalal... wake up...'

'Wake up!'

'Abbey...' the oblivious young man jerked in alarm 'W...what...' his first reflexes were to reach out to the adjacent pillow and check for her presence, but it was empty. Just as he'd thought.

'God...I need strength' he swore under his breath, as he realized he'd just had yet another one of those dreams. Such illusions were haunting his nights quite frequently of late - visions that generally started off with their most beautiful moments together, that then descended into the darkest downturns of his life. Strangely, all these dreams were more or less a sad reflection of how his life had turned out after the fateful night. Of how the upbeat witty bold hunk in that dream had slowly transformed into this dishevelled disinterested pessimistic recluse today.

'Jalal utto yaar...'

'Abbey what is it?' he pressed his throbbing head strongly, growing distressed by the constant drone echoing near his ears. He had to struggle to pry open his eyes that stung like they'd been doused in acid

'Get up...'

'Who is it?' he fussed, till his recouping senses had eventually managed to recognize the voice of the caller 'Oh...Abdul...' turning to the blurry figure standing adjacent to his bed, Jalal complained aloud 'It's 2 in the night...why are you waking me now?'

'It's 2 in the afternoon...' Abdul corrected him

'Tho kyaa hua?'

'Nothing...only that you've been starving...you've eaten nothing from last evening...'

'Uffooo' Jalal rubbed his eyes, as he strained to seat himself up 'Ammi complained? Ye ammi na...'

'Well... aunty's obviously worried like hell... WE ALL ARE!'

'Forget it... I have a splitting headache...I'm going back to sleep...' he was about to collapse onto the sheets again when he was stopped midway by his friend

'Jalaaal' Abdul grunted unhappily 'People who drink till 5 in the morning tend to have headaches...nothing surprising there...so, just cut it out and stand up...' he paused 'Or I'm sending dadi amma up...she's waiting downstairs with aunty, you know?'

'WHAT!' still endeavouring to focus on his surroundings, he darted his bestie an annoyed frown 'Why did you bring Renu along?'

'I didn't bring her along... she came by herself because she's anxious too...now get up...freshen yourself fast!'

THE MUHAMMED HOUSEHOLD - DINING ROOM

Observing the faces of the smallish audience seated at the dining table, he greeted them with a half-smile - nearly amused by the forlorn stares coming from them. After all, he knew precisely why they'd assembled there that noon. Nevertheless; the cynical in him overlooked their concerns so he could resume his trek towards the bar with no unease whatsoever.

Opening a bottle of Bagpiper, Jalal was about to fix himself a drink when a hand stopped him from doing so.

'Hey...' he exhaled, before turning around to face his challenger 'Abdul...haven't you heard? Nothing can cure a hangover like a bit of whiskey...'

'The only cure for a hangover is plain water...' the determined friend folded his arms 'Come with me and I'll give you plenty of that...'

'What?' he grew irked by the condescending tone in the advice 'You're going to stop me?'

'Why not?' Abdul glared back 'I do think I have this right...especially, after the many times you've stopped me from committing blunders... in the past fifteen years...  '

'Shut up!' he had to grit his teeth to ensure his voice stayed low 'You've NEVER endured what I'm going through right now...so, don't act like you understand...'

'I agree Jalal... that's why I never said anything when you attended the final sem exams unprepared and with a hangover... that's why I never complained when you didn't pick our calls...' he shrugged 'But, its been one and half months now... enough is enough...' he indicated in the direction of the dining table 'Come sit with us...and have some food...'  

'No...' Jalal glanced aside 'You guys go ahead... I'm not in the mood...'

'Oh!' Abdul nodded sarcastically 'So, for how long are you going to dig your head under the sand like an ostrich? For how long are you going to avoid facing the dejection in your mother's eyes...for how long are you going to hide from Renu in fear of having to listen to her questions?'

'What!' Jalal glimpsed up in anger, silently wishing he could punch his stubborn pal for cornering him in this manner. Digging his head under sand like an ostrich? Running away in fear? How he wanted to squash those allegations with a caustic reply. Sadly, he couldn't - because he knew that any justification he gave wouldn't be convincing enough. Why couldn't they just leave him in peace? Why aggravate his already anguished morale by posing him such awkward questions 'F**k off man...' he mumbled 'And leave me alone...'

'Yeah... I'll f**k off...but only if you come join us for lunch...'

*******************

Having munched through yet another morsel with little interest, he set his spoon down and looked away

'Kyaa hua beta...' the tense mother watched him intently 'Is it too spicy?'

'She's supposed to be getting married in two months time...' his jaw tightened, revealing how much of latent rage he was bottling within 'And you all want me to bounce back? To be happy about my birthday that's coming up in two weeks? To act like everything's normal?' he erupted into a bitter laugh

'Does she look too worried about having left you?' Renu butted in with little sympathy 'No na... then, you've got to learn to stop fretting about this too...'

'Huh!' Jalal dismissed her 'It's easier said than done...'

'But you HAVE to come out of this at some point...' she stressed 'Remember...she's belittled your efforts, your dreams AND your life! Get even with her, if it helps. You used to get even with anyone who tried to touch you...then, what happened now?'

'I'm still the guy who'd destroy ANYONE who attempted to ruin me...' he banged the table furiously 'But SHE is not just anyone...' he paused for a second to clear his throat that was crackling at that point 'I can't hurt those closest to me - I'd only end up hurting myself...'

'But that ungrateful kameeni...'

Right there, Jalal put his palm up to stop her tirade 'Renu... let me make this clear... she might have chosen to kick me out of her life... but she is still a part of MINE... so, I'd prefer some respect here...'

'Yeah RESPECT!' the miffed young lady sneered 'On the day she broke up with you, a fat lot of respect she gave you, right?'

'Renu calm down...' Abdul held her hand hard so she'd stop at once 'This is not what we came here for...' he reverted to the irked guy sitting opposite him 'Jalal... she must be doing this because of some compulsion yaar...we all know Jodha well...this is not like her...'

'Do you think I WOULDN'T HAVE GUESSED this, Abdul? The Jo I know turned into this unrecognizable woman overnight - don't you think I can predict that it should be because of some compulsion? My fury lies with the 'manner' in which she dealt with the whole issue...' his tone was livid by the end of that outburst. Just as he'd feared, the confrontation was making him all edgy. The questions were bringing it all back - forcing him to face incidents, facts, doubts and insecurities that he'd let slip under the rug for the past six weeks 'Ditch it...' he cursed, as he agitatedly wiped his hands with a napkin.

'Beta... please finish your food first...' ammi pleaded, but the mother's sorry cries only fell on deaf ears

'I've had enough' he asserted, before bolting back his heavy chair and standing up to make his way towards the adjacent open terrace. He needed a moment to himself. This was getting very difficult indeed. All the hurt was resurfacing - and with a vengeance. All those agonizing flashbacks were reappearing - flashbacks he didn't want to recall. How pitifully had he begged her that morning. How pathetically desperate he'd become at one point - clinging on to any hope and means he could to stop her from leaving. Yet, how mercilessly had she crushed his spirit and left him alone amidst a pile of glass shards of what was once Robbie's picture. Why didn't people understand that it was impossible to come to terms with such grief and deception?

'But yaar...' Abdul interrupted the ongoing silence, when recognizing that Jalal was losing himself to another spell of depression. Getting off his chair, he subsequently joined the lone chap at the terrace 'If you know that she's doing this because of some compulsion... why don't you want to find out what that compulsion is? At least, for your peace of mind?'

'Shutting his eyes dismally, the troubled young man took in a deep breath 'You know Abdul...' he explained 'I've NEVER fallen short in supporting her every way I can...yet, she demoralized me with her words and actions... even though I've never kept anything from her, she withheld stuff from me... she took the biggest decision of MY LIFE without so much as consulting me about it and then suggested that I should man-up and deal with it!' folding his arms, he returned his mate's questioning glances with a steely glare 'When she showed me not an ounce of respect...you think I'd spend my time and energy snooping around to find out what's happening at her house...NO DAMN WAY...'

'Tho? Ab iske baad kyaa...'

'Ab iske baad kuch bhi nahin...'

'So, THIS is your solution?' Abdul winced 'To hide from society and stay away from us for however long it takes?'

Glimpsing ahead, Jalal remained quiet. He wasn't going to respond to that query.

'Ok Jalal...' echoed Renu's resentful voice from across the room 'I have a few doubts myself...so help me out here...' alighting from her chair, she approached her group 'Yes Jalal, you're heartbroken...yes, you feel cheated because you STILL trust she truly loved you...I'm even prepared to agree that she might have had her own reasons to leave...' she shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly 'But tell me...do WE love you any less?'

'Chodo Renu...' Jalal warned, not appreciating her attitude or line of interrogation

'What about Abdul?' she pushed on 'He's known you for 15 years! Have you bothered about finding out how he's been feeling?'

'Enough...'

'What about your mother? Do you think she loves you any less?'

'THAT'S ENOUGH!' he roared

'FOR GOD'S SAKE...' her pitch rose to an intensity matching the ferocity in Jalal's tone 'Why are you disregarding the love and concern of SO MANY just because ONE person disregarded you?'

'You WOULDN'T understand!'

'HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? Or are in you DENIAL of some sort?'

That was it! That was all he could brave for then. Suddenly taking the twosome by surprise, the disturbed young man grabbed Abdul by one arm and Renu by another - before starting to drag them along. Ammi's appalled outcries or the startled expressions on his friends' faces seemed to have no effect on his fired-up temperament. Like a man on a warpath, he didn't stop - not till he reached the main entrance of his bungalow 'Now go both of you...and don't come back again...' leaving his bewildered pals stranded there, he returned to his living room to take a seat on the comfy couch and catch up on his breath

'W...what the f**k!'

'T...thanks a lot, Jalal...thanks for everything man...'

Taking a few instants to come out of the tremendous shock they'd just been put through, the immensely offended duo were about to slip into their shoes when they heard his shaky voice addressing them

'YES...' he confessed aloud, unable to control the jitters in the fingers against which his head was resting 'I AM in denial...is that what you want to hear? I am in denial of the fact that someone I trusted more than my life, left me so she could follow her parents wishes and get married to someone else. I am in denial about Jodha never becoming mine again...that the dreams I wove about us will remain a fantasy forever...I am in denial of having reached the end of the road where our relationship is concerned!' he felt the sharpest lump in his throat as he made those admittances. Ruffling his hair, he shifted upon his seat in angst. It took him the longest while to realize it, but his inflamed eyes were moistening-up too 'I am in denial of the fact that SHE has forever taken away my ability to trust anyone else...I can't face the the fears and doubts and insecurities that plague me... fears that I might never be able to be that once confident 'Jalal' I was...' looking the other way, he rubbed his thumb across his eyelashes - and saw the teardrop that slid down his palm. Sniffling in to hold back the tears that'd begun accumulating behind his eyes, Jalal swallowed down his grief so he could go on 'You both want me to recognize that I'm like an ostrich with its head under the sand? Then yes, I agree I've become like one! But only because I've become afraid... afraid to get close to ANYONE now...well, anyone I get attached to gets snatched away from me... first, abbu... then Robbie... and now Jodha... I can't take such heartbreaks anymore...' he paused to wipe his misty eyes once more - suppressing his emotions while openly confessing his innermost phobias was too much of a struggle for his battered spirit indeed 'I don't want to lose my best pals too...that's why I want you both to leave... and stay away from me...I am just NOT destined to be attached to anyone... so many misfortunes in one person's life cannot be a coincidence ...it just cannot...' noting from the corner of his eyes that his two friends and his ammi were now making their way towards him, he swiftly rubbed off his tears and looked away. He was not prepared to face them in that state. He felt so vulnerable then and he hated it. Still, he couldn't get his heart to stop confessing. The emotions that had been buried within for so long were finally rebelling now - they wanted to be unleashed - to be set free 'God...how do I say this...' he blurted shakily, as he sensed them nearby 'That I'm even scared of getting close to my own mother because I fear losing her...' and that was all that his self could take. He broke down completely, succumbing to a volley of agonized wails - for the first time, in front of his friends - for the first time, in front of his own mother!

'Jalal'  

'Yaar...'

They rushed to be by his side to support him, but soon found themselves swept into this vortex of tragedy engulfing their loved one.

'Beta...' Mrs. Banu dabbed her eyes as she sat beside Jalal to offer him comfort. She wanted to do something she hadn't done in a very very long time. She wanted to cradle her young son in her arms - to let him know that she would always love him, come what may. However; just as she was about to act upon her maternal instincts, she noticed something else that she'd never seen before. It was a sight just as heartrending as watching her own son crumbling into a wreck. Her 'other' son was battling with a bout of silent sobs too. Recoiling her hand soon after, she sat back and let the two best mates deal with their repressed sentiments first, knowing that should move matters in a positive direction.

Immediately taking the cue, Abdul took his seat beside Jalal 'Yo man...' he tapped his bestie on his shoulder thereafter 'Mind if I join you? I'm currently a bit of a mess myself too...'

Glancing up in mild alarm, Jalal studied his friend's face in silence. Tears? In Abdul's eyes? He couldn't believe it! How much did this guy love him really? A gripping second later, Jalal took everyone by surprise and finally liberated himself from the shell that he'd locked himself in. He gathered his affectionate buddy into a boisterous hug - the tightest of hugs he'd given anyone ever 'F**k you man...' he chuckled, amidst the many tears still streaming down his face 'Any other day I wouldn't say this, but I'm saying this today... I love you yaar...'

'Same here...' Abdul nodded, while the two ladies watched on. It was truly a poignant spectacle - seeing two otherwise sensible grown men, pouring their hearts out and crying over each other's shoulder in this manner.

'And Renu...you better not blab about these senti-waalaa scenes to anyone...ok?' they warned

'No' she laughed, unbothered for the first time in her life about the Christian Dior mascara that'd smudged all over her damp cheeks 'I wouldn't... it's embarrassing!'

'Chal tu bhi aajaa...' they welcomed her into their bear hug - and she willingly joined in - but, not before pulling Mrs. Banu into their pity party too!

'God!' he smirked in part-relief and part-woe, after tucking his kerchief back into his pocket 'Life's crazy, isn't it?'

'Yeah...but, crazy IS fun...that's why you mustn't waste away this crazy life...' Abdul patted the semi-attentive guy on his arm 'Time heals everything Jalal...' 

'But, time can't make me un-love her!'

'Fine...' Renu tried drilling another round of sense into him 'If you feel frustrated, start hitting the gym instead of the bottle...if you want to forget the pain, while away your time working instead of sleeping...you don't want to take revenge on your close ones - but you CAN TAKE REVENGE against fate for treating you like shit, right?'

Jalal couldn't help but smile there - at her efforts. She was one relentless girl. Yet somehow, she was right too!

'True beta...' ammi chipped in 'I can talk to bhai sahab and get the head office re-shifted to Hyderabad... like how it was under your Abbu...'

'See? I'm right...' Renu darted him a cocky frown 'And Jalal... I tell you...' her manner mellowed down a notch 'Please don't go back to those thoughts... those anxieties of yours... they seem to affect you so much...seeing you so low is no fun for us... we can't function normally either, when you're depressed...'

'W...What?' he stared on in stunned stillness, not knowing what to make of this odd twist of fate 'W...What did you just say?' he asked, his voice parched

'I said... if YOU are so low... WE all can't function normally either...'

God! Those were exactly the words Jodha had told him following Robbie's death.

'Jalal don't return to those thoughts...they affect you so much... seeing you so low... I... I just can't...function normally...'

As the words repeatedly played over in his mind, the markings of pain, rage and misery on his face steadily began receding away. Unbeknown to him, the negativity was gently giving way to something more positive - something more tranquil. What a strange coincidence that he was hearing Jodha's message all over again. Even stranger - it was her own words that were now working like an antidote against the very wounds she'd given him.

Life was crazy indeed! He wanted to be so angry with her. He wanted to despise what she'd done to him. He hated the fact that she was no longer a part of his life and that she'd let him do nothing to change it. However, he couldn't deny that her words and gestures still had the same effect on him. They still seemed to work like a charm at soothing his frayed nerves. Was the legacy she'd left behind going to act like his guardian angel forever? Even in her absence, was she going to be watching out for him always? Who knew? Maybe this was what the miracle of true love was all about.