3~*NOT just a passionate affair~*Pt 40 Pg2 - Page 2

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Posted: 10 years ago
#11

OSR PART 38 - PART 2

'The woman in me is paralyzed, both emotionally and physically...' her woeful voice started cracking 'Don't send me into another round of depression ...instead, I want you to help me get over the horror of this abuse...I want to feel like the Jodha I was...I don't know if I'll ever go back to normalcy, but I want to feel like me again...emotionally and physically...' 

Startled by her confession, he sat silently for a while - staring at her - taking in the depth of her profound feelings. She wasn't sure what she expected when she'd said those words to him. He wasn't sure what she expected when she'd said that, but he knew that his heart skipped a few beats when he heard it. It'd awoken a myriad of emotions in him. The fact that she'd divulged her innermost fears to him tugged at his heart strings. He was so moved that she'd just handed over her entire life to him, trusting he'd make it better for them. He was so aroused by her honest admittances that he never expected to hear 'The woman in me wants to 'feel' normal again...emotionally and physically...'

Picking her hands in his, Jalal lovingly moved her bangles behind so he could soothe the bruises on both her wrists with his thumb. Soon after, he intertwined his fingers with hers and gradually reeled her towards him - close enough till the outline of his face was barely a millimeter apart from the gash on her shoulder

'Jalal' she closed her eyes and turned aside - unable to decide if she was prepared for what was to come. In fact, she dreaded it. She didn't want the proximity. She dreaded that she might get revolting flashes of the abuser if Jalal came any nearer. She feared that the abuse she'd undergone might compel her to winge in disgust in response to any touch henceforth - a misery that she personally did not want - a humiliation that Jalal did not deserve. Worse, she didn't know if she'd ever be able to heal from this ordeal wholly. She was afraid that the psycho might have taken away her ability to 'feel' like a woman forever.

- and then she felt his breath on her cut


Grabbing her boyfriend's hair in angst, a protest went off in the back of her mind 'No... ' she waited in affright for the surges of repulsion to take over 'Jalal... don't...' she meekly nudged him away, her limbs frigid. She knew not how to brace herself for those scary 'parallel' visions that were to come - visions of the stalker forcefully petting her on those scratches. A tear sliding off her tightly-sealed eyelids, she awaited the terror of it all - but it didn't happen. The intimidating visions didn't come. Not when the edge of her boyfriend's lips began sliding along her shoulder - not even when his kisses moistened the dry soreness on her skin.  

She froze - expecting many kinds of aversions to riddle her body - but she felt nothing of the sort. Instead, what her man was doing was in some strange way - calming. Delicately tracing his profile along her bare shoulder, he didn't stop till the tip of his nose moved up to the secluded soft retreat behind her ears.

'Jo, I love you like no one can...' his husky whispers came thereafter, as though to assure her that she was with a man who cherished her - and not a stranger.

'Yes' Jodha unwittingly nodded when the assurance came as a huge respite. She couldn't believe it, but the experience was actually turning out to be cathartic for her. Unlike what she'd feared, his soothing touches appeared to negate the cruelty of all that'd transpired in the green room. Every moment with Jalal now seemed to magically erase the horrid correlating visuals from earlier. Her spirit finally reinstated, she mustered the guts to gather him close once more - a quiet cry of relief escaping her throat 'I...I..'

Sensing that his girl was at a better place emotionally, his affections were spurred-on. Wrapping the side of her cheek by entrenching his palm into her hair, Jalal hauled her towards him by supporting her back. When her mellow body brushed against his exposed skin, a sudden swell of desire overcame him. He delved on - savouring his new journey along the silken arches of her neck and throat.

Many minutes on and his impassioned onslaught showed no signs of pausing. She showed no intent of wanting it slowed down either - despite the fact that her loosened saree pleats had slipped off - despite the fact that his lips had now approached the base of her throat

'I'm normal' another ecstatic tear fell off from her eyelashes as she began feeling at ease with the ever-livening sensations. She no longer felt damaged. Every part of her exhausted form and every cell on her skin seemed alive again. It was as though her body knew who was right for her and who she was meant to be with! She was at peace with herself. She felt like a woman reborn.

'Ja...' Jodha tilted her head back gently, as she experienced the scintillating series of new thrills one after another - his exquisite features had started skimming over the tender stretches of skin leading to her chest 'Jalal' she murmured again as she grabbed him, her responsive clasps around his taut arms no longer meek or mild

He took the cue...


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Planting a peck on her 'maang',  the smitten young man beheld his partner in awe. Quietly reposing on his pillow and staring back at him with those dampened hazel eyes, she was the most fascinating woman he'd known - and not just for one reason alone.  

Darting her the most caring smile he could, Jalal wiped the lone tear from the side of her cheek - shaking his head with a comforting message 'No Jodha...don't...I wouldn't let anyone else touch you...'

'I know' she disclosed her reply through an emotionally charged-up glare. She was determined. She would do everything in her power to never let such a thing happen again. If it was her mind, her body and her soul, then why couldn't SHE decide who she was going to share it with? She was no toy for perverts like Shareef to ogle at and tease as per their wishes. She was no lifeless commodity for rogues like the stalker to control and abuse as they pleased. She didn't even want to be society's pawn and traded off into rishtas with the Rishabhs and Saurabhs! She was Jodha singh and she wanted to be with the one she chose for herself 'I don't want anyone else to touch me...' she told herself 'Ever again!'

Following the short period of silence, his face began gliding down from her resplendent features to move towards her body. She hurriedly re-shut her eyes - her heartbeats charging-on in a maddened rush. Along with the silhouette of his face, she could sense something cold touching her skin too - it was the metal from his silver Taweez - sliding down her face, her neck and then her form. This taweez that hung around his neck was a Holy charm that always stayed concealed inside his shirts. It was a personal talisman that he never let the world see - and yet today, it was part of her world. Knowing this made her feel like she was his 'home' - recognizing the speciality of this intimate moment was bliss in itself.

Just then, she felt his jawline approaching the slender expanses of her hips. For a flash, her mind was about to succumb to a panic attack. She consequently recalled how the stalker had groped her there with all his might. However, the scare was thankfully short-lived. She didn't cringe to the effects. She was more self-assured now. On the contrary, she was able to savour the marvels of her man's skilful foreplays on her midriff - the ticklish quivers as a consequence of his moustache grazing her curves and the exciting pangs rising from his soft nibbles around her waistline.

He simultaneously let his fingers work their charms on her legs, making mischief around the sensitive spots on the soft-sides of her legs and gently sweeping past her knees. The passionate adventure pushed her to the edge and back many times over 'I...I...' her voice was parched as the tingling vibes sent her on a sequence of shudders.

'Yes?' he teased in reply, wondering if she had it in her to finish what she was trying to say. When she didn't, he cast a sly glance aside for his answer instead - noticing how she was feverishly twirling a finger around the creases of his sheets in response to the devilry of his fingers. His urges kindled further, he rose up and slowly came over her. Skidding his hand behind her back till his palms reached the blouse hooks, his let his thumb play on and around the fasteners for a while - waiting and watching for her reaction at close quarters as he did so.

'Jalal' she hummed on a low note when the reluctant recollection of how the stalker had almost torn off her blouse hooks revisited her psyche. She'd been strong so long - but a fresh bout of tears emerged from her eyes at this point - even though she'd tried fighting them off to the best of her might. Perceiving her state of mind at once, he waited for her to recover from the flashbacks - supportively tending to her in his arms all along. 

He waited patiently - waited for the red on her cheeks to outdo the red of her discarded saree like before. He waited for her breaths to hasten in enthusiasm instead of in apprehension - as they had until had a minute ago. He waited for her to feel aroused again and not be afraid anymore - and he would wait for as long as it took if it meant she'd feel normal again...


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Clutching the blanket in an attempt to preserve her modesty for as long as she could, the abashed young lady continued facing away from him with her face half-buried in the pillow she was resting on. She was adamant. She wasn't going to give in so easily. She wasn't going to spin over. So what if he was trying all ploys he could to get her to yield? So what if he was so skilful a lover that suppressing her desires was becoming an increasingly difficult task? She couldn't get herself to turn towards him - not in that state of exposure.

Suddenly, she sensed something on her back. Having moved her long tresses to one side, he began doing something there.

'Is he drawing designs?' she wondered since she could feel his fingers sketching something - and then it struck her thereon 'No... he's tracing some words on my back...he's writing me a sms message...'   

Well, he'd tried bribing. He'd tried sweet-talking. He'd spoiled her rotten with plenty of tender foreplay too. However, since her spell of bashfulness had gone on for longer than expected, he'd resorted to some good old Jalal charm to do the trick. Grinning at the sensually smooth back that he'd been gazing at for a while now, he shifted close to start working his magic upon her.

'H-e-y...b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l...' she tried deciphering his words he was tracing on her back

'How r things ur side of d bed?' she bit her lip in amusement as she 'felt' the messages being drawn

'My side of the d bed is getting very quiet n lonely' she started giggling

'So want to join me on this side?' she giggled some more, impressed by his finger-tracing abilities


'Wow' he thought when he heard that delectable laughter that he'd been missing for so long. That alone made it all worthwhile. Shifting even closer thereafter, he let his nose and lips enjoy the feel of her velvety skin for a short trance before laying his face on her back. Closing his eyes, he slid his hands around to embrace her petite self in his folds as he told her what he felt 'You know Jo, you're so unbelievably captivating... I've always wondered if maybe...God's been a bit too partial to you...'

A smile came over her lips. She loved it - be it the effect of his flattery, the sensations of his gruff cheeks or the feeling of being wrapped in the confines of his warm embrace. She felt like she'd just gone to heaven. With every inch of his musculature lined up against every inch of skin on her back, she relished the notions of how strong her man was. In that cosy little haven that she was nestled in now, she felt so loved and protected. She felt so safe 'No one would ever dare to lay a hand upon me again...'    

Some dreamy minutes thus and she gradually flipped over to face him - her eyes not shut now. It was the first time in her life that she was going to be with a man that way, but the man she was going to be with was the man she'd chosen for herself.

'My God' he subconsciously drew in a sharp breath in awe as he came to face with her ethereal femininity for the first time. His already raging hormones instantaneously spiked up in an avalanche of reckless surges. As it is, it'd been torturous enough holding back for so long - any more and it'd be the death of him. Wasting no further time, he interlocked his fingers in hers and gently pinned them down as he began losing himself in the beauty of her womanly form. There was not a part of her that wasn't worth adoring. Well, he'd always imagined she'd be enchanting - but truly, she was something else altogether. Maybe a celestial nymph from another world?

As he went about lovingly taking possession of her, he took it upon himself to study her body language at the very same time. He understood what made her mould into his arms. He knew what drove her giddy with pleasure. He observed what caused her to stiffen up in nervousness. He sensed what made her toes curl in ecstasy and he used all of that knowledge to drive her even wilder. He teased her by not letting go of her hands as he made rapturous love to her and freed her only just as she became near-breathless in delirious fits of desire. He let her experience all sorts of pleasures that her shielded-inexperienced self never even knew existed - at least, not till that night of course!

'Jalal' she cursed him at some point thereon 'I don't know when I fell in love with the devil incarnate...but looks like I have...'


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'Huh...' startled, she winced in pain as she felt him for the first time within. She hadn't expected it to feel this uncomfortable.

Jalal stopped to observe her, a mellow frown gracing his brows 'Jo...' he stroked her forehead empathetically 'I'm being as gentle as can be... but, it's generally not very comfortable in the first instance...' he paused 'So, I understand if you don't want to take it any further than this...'

The entranced young lady remained quiet, gazing at his eyes - attempting to grasp the extent of his affections upon her. No! There was no pain he could give that could be greater than the ugly pains she'd already gone through. In fact, she was certain there was no way her man could give her any pain at all. Her glances trailed back to their symbol of 'marriage' sitting on her ring finger - he was her better half - her soul mate - her life-partner! All she knew was that he cared for her like none other could. All she knew was that this was the man she wanted to be with forever - and in her overwhelmed mind now - every moment longer that she spent with him, meant a moment less that someone could take her away from him.

She continued beholding her charming man with unbroken stares - and it was from the enamoured haze now misting her eyes that he derived his answers thereon.


'Jalal' she grimaced when she felt him again - but she held him tight and let him take the lead.

She wasn't wrong in trusting him to do right, because before long - her discomfort had morphed into pleasantness. Pleasantness into pleasure. Pleasure into euphoria. Before long, the besotted couple found themselves burning to be with one another like never before. Nothing could keep them apart even for a second thence as they indulged in making intense love - and for as long as they could make it happen.  

Yes, their bodies were still sore from the horrid encounters, their minds still tormented by many-a-worry and their hearts still fearing for each other's safety. However, they both tried to recuperate through their togetherness that led to this touching aftermath. They both sought respite from a harrowingly adverse calamity through this spontaneous outburst of emotions. Undoubtedly, it was a poignant hour in their lives - an hour so poignant that resulted in uniting them by mind, soul and form.

'We're meant to be together...' she teared-up at the end of it all, watching him rest his forehead on her bare shoulder as he tried catching up on his breath 'Together forever...'

'Yes...' he heaved into her ears as they came towards the conclusion of this blissful journey 'We are...'


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'Jodha' he gently called out to her for the second time around - but no reply came. Surprised, he flung the turkish towel that he'd been wiping his face with onto one side and leaned over to check if she was just playing a prank - or if she really was fast asleep.

Yes, she was in deep sleep! He couldn't believe it. His trip to the washroom had barely lasted five minutes and she'd already disappeared into a far far world of her own? He picked up the mobile from his bedside table - 11:30 pm!

'It's getting late for you...' he muttered 'Don't you have to leave?' well, the guy did feel like a merciless prick saying this to her - trying to awaken her from her slumber so he could ask her to leave his home at midnight. More so, after what they'd just shared - but he had to do it for her own sake. Her family would go berserk if she didn't reach on time and the cutoff she'd been given - with a lot of extra coaxing - was 12:00!

'Jodha' he touched her shoulder to try and wake her up once more - but she didn't budge. She was knackered! Undoubtedly, the testing day and events had taken its toll on her. So, the few moments of rest that she looked like she desperately needed - she was getting now!

'Fine... my sleeping beauty...' he kissed her forehead 'Catch up on a few winks...I'll set an alarm for 11:45...'

Once he'd switched on the alarm in his mobile phone, he picked up the AC remote and increased the temperature in the room. Her shoulders had been icy cold to the touch and he knew how much she hated the artificially cold blast of AC air. Flicking open another bedsheet from the foot of his bed thereafter, he pulled it all the way up to her neck - before crawling onto the mattress to take his place beside her.

Enchanted by her tranquil state, he surveyed her restful features in silence for a while - his hand entwined in hers as he did so. She was thoroughly unaware of it, but her face now had a discernible afterglow - something that reflected how happy she was. There was a mild smile on her lips that showed how much she was at peace. His girl had finally found her 'home'. As though hypnotized by what he was seeing, his eyes gradually started feeling a lot heavier than they had felt a few minutes ago

'I'll never let anyone harm you again Jo' he spoke to his fast-asleep girl 'You gifted me the greatest gift ever when you trusted me to help you come out of this ordeal...'  his sleepy voice was becoming hoarse 'I am touched by the leap of faith you showed in me today... when you asked me to take you through this... help you feel like a woman again...this, despite your personal beliefs...' he stifled a upcoming yawn 'I'll never let you down...I'll...' he yawned again 'I'll neve...'

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Hope this made it a worthwhile read and if it did, please leave me a comment/like so it'd help the writer in me to keep going πŸ˜³
Edited by lashy - 9 years ago
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Posted: 10 years ago
#12

30th August

OSR PART 39

THE MUHAMMED HOUSEHOLD - JALAL'S BEDROOM

'Mmm Jalal' she groaned, freeing her now asleep fingers from his clasp so she could flex them back into life. No doubt, snuggling close to his oh-so-lovely and oh-so-warm frame in the dead of the night felt like the best thing ever - especially with that freezing AC perennially on. However, as a new bride she was yet to practise the skill of ensuring her hands didn't get trapped under the weight of his heavier-arm, if she didn't want to wake up with 'numb' fingers.

Following that brief bout of finger-flexing, Jodha lovingly picked up his hand and wrapped it around her bare hips instead. As her eyes groggily opened for half-a-second thereafter, the first blurry spectacle they fell upon - even in that dim room - was her henna-laden ring-adorned hand. A fresh glow instantly came over her drowsy profile as the first few happy memories came back to her. God! What an enchanting wedding night it'd been  

'You want me to stop?' he'd frowned with mock-disapproval 'But, why?'

'Please Jalal... its...its...' she'd protested crimson-skinned - still catching up on her breath from the unfamiliar thrill-rides he'd been taking her on

'But, why stop? I'm doing all the work...tumhe bass mazze hi tho lene hai...like you have been!'  he'd gone on to nuzzle her ears again 'Fine then...give me ONE good reason why I must stop and I will...if not, you're just gonna be breaking this poor guy's heart - you know that?'

'Jalal because...bec...' her words had stopped halfway again, since she was too abashed to explain. Wasn't it enough he'd been mercilessly teasing her body with sweet torture? Did he have to tease her with such devilish interrogations too?

'Haan bolo' his fingers had rediscovered their way towards her legs again

Another shudder thereon and she'd finally caved-in, blurting what he'd been wanting to hear 'I can't take it anymore...'

'Achaa?' the most mischievous grin had come over his lips

'Jalal...' she'd immediately cursed him, feigning anger 'I don't know when I fell in love with the devil incarnate...but looks like I have...'

'Gosh!' she part-shielded her face with a palm in bashfulness as she relived those moments in a daze. Just then, she heard from his direction - what sounded like the quietest echoes of a few soft snores

'Arre...' she chuckled with her eyes still closed 'Looks like the tranquilizers from the painkillers have knocked you off well and good!'

WAIT! What! WHAT! 

Tranquilizers? What! Painkillers? For what! She sat up in alarm - her eyes battling to regain their clarity. She cast a glance at the man dozing beside her - and the delicate state they both were in. She looked around at where she was - and the worrying 'wrong' address she appeared to be in.

'Oh my God!' cupping her mouth in panic, Jodha stretched across to grab his mobile phone from the bedside cabinet '1:30 am! Oh my God...' she exclaimed in fright 'Five missed calls from bhaiyya's phone... on Jalal's number? I am dead...dead...dead...' the blood from her face now draining away, she made a shocked survey of the trail of discarded attire lying on the floor 'What have I done?' she quivered uneasily as the hormonal fog that'd enveloped her so long started lifting up -  as the feel-good neuro-chemicals in her brain started dipping to normalcy 'What have we done... oh my God...' feeling dizzy from the after-effects of the ride that was abruptly dragging her from the clouds back down to reality, she pushed her sheets aside to get to her strewn garments.

While nervously slipping her clothes on, one after another; her blank gazes kept reverting to his sleeping form - the troubling realities of her decisions now hitting her like an unannounced tornado

'But he isn't my husband yet...' her sensibilities seemed to repeatedly admonish her 'He's my boyfriend'

A few bewildered minutes later came the turn to don on her saree. She stopped in her tracks at that point, staring at the red fabric in her hand 'I am no bride...this was just my college Annual Day dress...what have I done?'  

She literally struggled to re-drape her dishevelled saree thereon, unable to tell left from right and right from left. Her fingers trembling, she went about doing the best she could in that condition of mental disarray. It was when she was going to pin the 'torn' pleats back that the entire picture came to the fore -

The stalker - the abuse - the death threats - the encounter - the night

'Oh God!' she slapped her forehead in angst as the repercussions of her actions sent her through a wave of terror 'What have I done? How am I going to face my parents? And Bhaiyya? And God?' her head seemed to spin 'What am I to tell everyone now?' thoroughly distraught by the unending dilemmas, the young lady's attention fell upon the ring on her finger - the one from where the second half of the entire saga had unfolded 'I am not married...this is no wedding ring... this is only a gift... then, how did I get so carried away?' slowly wiggling it out of her ring finger, she cast a final tearful glimpse at the precious token - before slipping it into an envelope she found at the bottom drawer of the bedside cabinet. Quickly labelling the sealed cover with a legible 'RING' written across its top, she leaned close to the bed - and tucked it beside him on his pillow.

Watching how contented his face appeared in sleep - how blissfully unaware he was of the new turmoils now gnawing away at her conscience, a sharp lump formed in her throat. As she observed his restful profile, she realized that something didn't feel right. She was unable to put a finger on what it was - but, something didn't feel quite 'right'. Yes, she was worried about the consequences of their unforeseen intimacy - but now there was something else too.

Then, she recognized what it was. This 'different' fear that was setting in was about bidding him a farewell. Unlike the many other farewells she bid him on a daily basis, this one felt different  - this one felt very very upsetting.

Overcoming her apprehensions, she bent down to kiss him on his forehead but stopped midway - she'd noticed a teardrop slipping onto his hand. Swiftly wiping it off so it didn't awaken him, she looked up at his handsome face again, studying the genteel grace in his features. Battling-back her whelming emotions in despair, she said her goodbyes with great difficulty 'Sleep well... take care of yourself... and get well soon...' she paused to tuck a beautiful stray hair lock behind his ear 'May Allah always be with you...'

Having bid the oblivious man a heartfelt adieu, she picked up the empty ring box - an innate object - but something that'd strangely witnessed it all. This was to be the memoir that she would take home to remember the night by because right now, she could relate more to that shell of a gift box than anything else. That lone blue box that knew not what lay within. That vacant gift box, that knew not what surprises it's fate held for it!

ENROUTE SECUNDERABAD

She blinked hard. She blinked harder.

The grey skies, the bleak streets, the still surroundings, the strange faces of the few-odd passerbys glaring at her like she was an alien - they all intended to tell her something.

What a stark contrast this darkness was, in comparison to the 'bustling' ambience she used to travel through during the million other times that she'd made that return trip from Bungalow No. 23 to her Secunderabad flat. It all had to be telling her something.

What had happened? Why had it happened? Why had she said what she'd said? Why had she done what she'd done? Who was this 'unknown' Jodha who'd taken over her sense of rationality for a few hours?

'I want to feel like the Jodha I was...I don't know if I'll ever go back to normalcy, but I want to feel like me again...emotionally and physically...'

Many other women underwent abuse too - did they all seek comfort in intimacy with their partners? Fine; if she needed such comfort to be able to feel normal again, then why hadn't she stopped after some point?

He'd offered her a choice 'I understand if you don't want to take it any further than this...'

Then, why had she overlooked that? Why had she crossed the line? Hadn't she discarded the sentiments of her family by doing so? Hadn't she disrespected her traditional upbringing by choosing this path? What about the years and years of sane lessons her parents had imparted upon her? What about the implicit faith her brothers had in her? Hadn't she defiled her family's trust upon her by doing so - the family that'd nurtured, loved and cherished her for 23 years!

'I want answers...' her mind raced recklessly, as she rode her scooty through those vacant wide lanes at break-neck speed 'I want answers!' she screamed at the 'other' Jodha 'Tell me what made you do this?'

She blinked furiously thereafter, but the tears now misting her eyes were so pronounced she could barely see the roads ahead. Well, she was in no state - physically or mentally - to be riding a vehicle on a road. Yet, she HAD to. She had to get home as soon as she could. She tried wiping the dampness off her eyelashes through the visor of her helmet, but it wasn't helping.

Alas! She had no other go but to relent and bring her vehicle to a gradual halt. Parking it to a side of a nearly-deserted junction, the lone young lady wiped her eyes off with the end of her saree. It took her a few seconds to come to terms with the fresh bout of grief that'd just hit her, but she endeavoured to compose herself soon after 'You need to get home...' she reminded herself 'It's nearly 2 am...you haven't called home... mamma..pappa..bhaiyya don't even know where you are... or if you're safe... you owe them AT LEAST this much... gather yourself and get home...get home to them NOW... you've done a mistake... so go home and face the music...aur koi raasta nahin hain!'

She restarted her scooty and charged-on...

'Wasn't it an impulsive thing to do?' the question returned to haunt her as soon as she resumed her hurried way home 'Yes, it was an impulsive thing to do' the answer was definite.

Granted; Jalal had taken precautions, but still - what if some accident had happened and she fell pregnant? Was this really what she wanted at this stage in her life? Was this why she'd sweet-talked her family into forking out their savings so she could join Sri Ramakrishna Institute? Was this the very same smart student from a year ago whose only plans in life had been to further her educational prospects?

All right. A few changes in those 'plans' had unexpectedly occurred. She hadn't predicted that a very special man would come along one day and whisper 'But how would you know if a relationship works or not, unless you give it a try first?' 

Enthralled, she'd taken the plunge. She'd hopped onto this pleasure ride with Jalal not knowing where it'd take her. No doubt, she'd thoroughly enjoyed the ride - more and more with each passing day. New feelings, new words, new discoveries, a new sense of belonging - it was all very exciting. So, she'd gone on and on and on. Fallen deeper and deeper in love, till one day - till TODAY - she had to take a halt. Only, the stop was at a destination so far away from where she'd started that she couldn't even recognize where she was at. It was a strange place she was standing in - neither here nor there.  

'God!' she snivelled 'Why did I do this? I'm going to be punished ... had I not indulged in this act, I would have gotten home on time... now my relationship with Jalal is going to come out in the open so disgracefully!' a discouraging visual suddenly came to mind - a visual of her mother's anguished expressions that she'd encounter soon enough 'Mamma! What do I tell her when she asks me where I've been? I'll have to lie again! It's one mistake leading to another, isn't it? I was such an honest person once... never even went to the movies unless mamma gave me permission... and now, I've started lying so much...'  her sobs grew uncontrollable - much like a confused little child's would when lost in a maze 'Fine, I fell in love - I lied to keep it hush till we were ready to bring it out in the open...fine, we wanted to go out on dates - I lied to cover it up... but with THIS deed, things have gone tooo far!'  her scooty came to a gradual halt once more - and this time right in the middle of the road. She was so overcome by emptiness that she couldn't even muster the will to move her vehicle aside. She couldn't care less for the strange peeks coming her way from an old woman sleeping on the street. She couldn't be bothered about the random passing car angrily honking at her for having stopped in the middle of the road. Removing her helmet, she wept inconsolably into her pallu 'Why did I do this?' she angrily demanded of the 'other' Jodha 'Give me some answers please... I am not a bad person... my intent was not to cause anyone hurt... then, please explain why I did this? And why am I in such turmoil?'


'You are in such turmoil because you're in love'


The reply came - supposedly from another entity. She didn't know if it was her conscience speaking, the 'other' Jodha replying or God answering - but THAT evident line was the one answer to a lot of her dilemmas.

'Yes...you're... right...' she looked up from her Pallu and at the dark skies 'You're... you're... right...I'm in turmoil because I 'love' my loved ones! Not because I'm bad...'

Her turmoil now was because of her immense love for her family -  just like her turmoil a few hours ago was because of her immense love for Jalal.

If not, what else?

Following the encounter, wasn't it because of her immense love for Jalal that she'd chosen to trust him with her innermost feelings? Yes, her infatuated self had been drawn towards his words, gestures and looks - but wasn't it primarily because her faith in him was so staunch that she'd given in? Wasn't it due to her devotion towards him that her body and mind had reacted positively to his touches even after having been molested by a stranger?

After having witnessed his horrible brush with death, was it wrong for her to turn insecure? To want to desperately cling to every moment that she could to be with him, even it meant she didn't stop him from making love to her? Was she not justified in becoming furious at the many current circumstances that were pushing her to leave a man she so loved and become someone else's? 

Could it have been her vindictive emotions assuming that becoming one with Jalal meant she'd somehow won over the stalker? Could it have been her vexed mind rebelling against her family - in its own twisted way - for pushing her into a rishtaa she wanted not? Or could it have been that her guilt-ridden conscience was somehow trying the fill the void in Jalal's life - following the loss of Robbie - by this act?

Was her 'decision' an outcome of ALL of this? Maybe!

Had she erred? Yes!

Did that make her immoral? No!

One thing was for sure. Through this decision, she'd traded away the terror of the green room flashes for battles of another kind. A battle in which her heart and conscience was now being ripped apart - a battle between her respect for her upbringing versus her love for her man.

Much like the junction she was standing at, her life was at a crossroad too - one part of her strangely continuing to defend her actions, while the other part looked back at the night in dismay.

Nevertheless, she could self-debate forever but the past would not be undone. She'd acted upon her decisions and she had to bear the consequences for it - come what may. She had to regroup herself and get home to her family as soon as possible - because after all, she loved them too - and just as much as she loved Jalal!

THE SINGH HOUSEHOLD

THUD! The door slammed behind her

The moment had finally come. She'd come face to face with her family after two hours of supposedly going amiss past midnight.

The chilling silence in the Singh family apartment living room that ensued, seemed to last forever. The lull was terrible, both for her and for them. The minutes ticked on. However neither party had it in them to break the silence. No one said anything. No one asked anything. She was stunned, but they were SHOCKED - still trying to come to terms with the alarming realities they'd just unearthed about their 'laadli'!

'God' she nervously played with her fingers, surveying their angry glares and expressions of disbelief. It was obvious from the pale cheeks that her mom had been bawling her eyes out for a while now. It was evident from her father's sweaty forehead that he'd been more stressed than he should have been. She'd never seen Bade Bhaiyya and Kranthi Bhaiyya so livid before. Why, she'd never even witnessed her bhabhi appear so disappointed before. The telephone diaries and scribbled notepads on the centre table told a tale good-enough - her family had been frantically calling around, attempting to get hold of her while she'd been slumbering away in Jalal's bed!

Should she look them in the eye and tell them the truth or hang her head in shame and show remorse - neither seemed easier than the other. So, she just focussed blankly - into oblivion - awaiting the barrage of chidings and scoldings that was to eventually come her way

'Jodha' her mother's trembling tone was finally heard sometime thereon 'Remember how you stepped out to college yesterday? Look at the state you're in now...returning at 2:30 in the morning...' her voice started breaking down once more 'I know that if I ask you what happened, you're only going to lie again... but as a mother, I have to ask. So, tell us. What happened?'

'Mamma...' Jodha looked on with guilt-stricken eyes 'I...I... t... trust me... I' she stuttered for a few seconds 'I was wrapping-up at college after the Annual Day function... when suddenly...' she paused, as if she needed more strength before recalling everything again 'A man barged into the green room and misbehaved with me...' noting her brother's sceptical glances, she indicated to the marks on her wrists 'He is a  stalker... sends me annoying texts... he's even got my mobile now...'

'WHO is this man?' thundered Kranthi Bhaiyya 'That Shareef again?'

'No bhaiyya...not him...'

'And why haven't you told us about him before?' bade bhaiyya's palm rolled-up into a hardball 'If he misbehaved with you, seedhaa ghar aa jaati!' he stepped forward, till he was literally boring into his little sister's pale features 'WE would have taken care of it, choti... reported it at the station... gone out, looking for him...'

'No bhaiyya...' she anxiously crunched her palms watching her brother's rising fury 'It all happened too quickly... he threatened me... he hurt my friend too... in fact, my friend took me to the police station... but...I was too shaken to say anything...' she took a fearful step back, watching how intimidating bhaiyya's stares now were 'Later, I stopped over at my friend's place...and I...I...I... d... dozed off...'  

'And this so-called friend that you're referring to is Jalal! A MAN! Why, couldn't you stop over at Meera's?' his tone was so caustic, she couldn't believe this was the same brother who doted over her like no other 'And if YOU were asleep...why didn't HE pick the calls? Disgraceful...do you think this is America or London... you're coolly telling us you stayed at a MAN's place overnight! Do you know how that sounds?' his voice tapered - and it was for the first time in her life that she saw bhaiyya's eyes actually well-up

Jodha looked away, humiliated by that statement and crushed by the sight of what she'd reduced her proud brother into - but his angst was totally justified. In fact, even THAT condemning statement hadn't elucidated the full extent of her relationship with Jalal - and if they came to know the 'whole story', she would be dead meat.

'Bhaiyya...' she wrestled to gather herself thereafter 'I...I...I wasn't in my senses...'

'Yes you HAVE lost your senses...' papa eventually spoke up what was on his mind 'Do you know how worried we've been? Your brothers were about to leave... to go look for you in Jubilee Hills...' he paused to wipe his eyes with his kerchief 'I am devastated...you are not MY laadli...you're someone else...My laadli's dead!'

'Papa' she covered her mouth in agony as the horror of her father's words hit her - a father who'd had nothing but admiration for his daughter in the past 23 years!

'Don't call us papa mamma...' her mother wailed in defeat 'Where have we fallen short as parents? Why have you done this to us? If this news comes out, our family will be mortified...'

'Mama...' she gasped 'Please don't say this...'

'Still hiding and lying, aren't you?' she furiously traipsed up to her daughter 'Why don't you admit what is going on between you and this ladka then?'

Jodha was startled by that abrupt challenge. She knew this had to come out some day, but the situation now was so touchy - so delicate - that she shuddered at the very thought of the backlash that would follow

'I...' she faltered 'I...I...'

'Bolo...'

'I... my...I...'

'TELLL USSS!' her brother screamed, so loud that it actually jolted her for a second

'I...' she shut her eyes, as a tear streamed down her cheeks - bracing herself for the storm she was going to unleash 'I love him!'

'Chotttiii' bade bhaiyya's temper exploded in a flash. Thankfully, bhabhi and Vishal instantly managed to restrain him in time or the aftermath would have been terrible.  

Nevertheless, mamma did what bade bhaiyya didn't

SLAP! the mother came down upon her daughter

SLAPP! she'd ultimately found a vent for the fury she'd kept suppressed for so long

SLAPPP! SLAPPP!

'Malti stop...' the father eventually interceded, unable to witness the sorry plight of his once lovely daughter

'Why are you stopping me?' the mother protested hysterically 'Why don't you say something to your ungrateful laadli instead? Her brothers paid for her education... we all trusted her...gave her everything she wanted... and now she says she loves a boy... that too from another religion...she's been lying to us all these days and staying out late with him... all this in the name of this ghatiyaa 21st century boyfriend-girlfriend concept! Had we not called Maan some time back to find out where she was... had he not told us everything... we would never have known... what will they think of us? We had to say we didn't know where our daughter was in the middle of the night! What if other family friends get to know about this?'

'Maan?' her voice became parched as another bolt struck her 'HE said everything?'

A few seconds later, she gradually recollected her shattered spirits and folded her palms in front of her family, her face still sore from the onslaughts 'Mamma... please listen to me... Jalal is a wonderful man... just meet him once... and you'll know...'

'WE DON'T WANT TO MEET HIM even if he's the best man in the world! ' bade bhaiyya interrupted, making his stance clear 'You'll get married to a guy of OUR choice ..from OUR religion...  OUR clan... and that's final!'

'Please bhaiyya...' she tried reasoning again 'Just give me one chance... just...'

'Chup Jodha!' suddenly grabbing her daughter by her arm, the woeful mother dragged her to a side -  and out of everyone else's earshot 'What are you doing?' she shook her laadli hard 'Jodha, one word more and your brothers will lose their cool... they'll hunt Jalal down and butcher him...' with no response from her thereafter, Malti peeked into her girl's pitiful eyes. She could discern something troubling - something even more troubling than the facts that'd already been unveiled 'Jodha...' the overwrought woman dropped her tone down to a whisper, her heartbeats now racing in dread 'Abhi bhi kuch chupaa rahi ho?' she asked, fearing the worst 'Have you done something you shouldn't be doing? With that ladka Jalal?'

'Mamma...' she softly sobbed on her mother's shoulders 'I... I'll explain...'

'Cheee!' the heartbroken mother pushed Jodha away, erupting into a fresh volley of tears 'Say NOTHING more! I DON'T want to hear the answer...you couldn't have done this...you WOULDN'T have done this!' shaking her head in denial, she took a step back from her girl that she wanted little to do with for then 'I'm scared of you, Jodha.. I'm scared of what you've become..' unwilling to see the face of her culprit-of-a-daughter anymore, she turned away in disgust and asked her son tearfully 'The time's 3 am?' 

'Jee ma...'

'Call Raghuvanshi Sahab four hours later... request them to come over today... since it's the weekend, Rishabh could come along too...let them know over phone that Jodha has WHOLEHEARTEDLY accepted this proposal!'

'No mamma' Jodha fell down on the ground, begging her family to heed her cries 'Please don't do this...'

'We'll fix this rishta today...' she concluded 'And pick the earliest wedding date possible...'

***********
Hope you enjoyed it and if you did please leave behind a like/comment when time permits so that it helps the writer in me to keep going πŸ˜³
Edited by lashy - 9 years ago
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Posted: 10 years ago
#13

30th August

OSR PART 40

THE SINGH HOUSEHOLD - LIVING ROOM

Near-blind to the happenings around her and mentally absent from the ongoing discussions, the young lady sat on the corner armchair - in silence - as she had been for the past half an hour. She was unconcerned about how she appeared - if her attire matched-up to the occasion. She had no idea if the 'ladka' sitting opposite her looked like the one she'd seen in the photo. Instead, she continued staring at her stark ring finger and ruminating on her life's woes - much like she had been for the past half an hour.

'How empty you now look' she commented about her vacant finger, as she relived their ring ceremony from a night before - a ritual that'd been simply divine. Just him, her and their 'rapture' pervading the room. She in his arms gazing into his eyes, as he slid the ring on and proposed his love. How sacred was the intent behind it!

On the contrary, how pretentious was THIS ceremony that she'd been compelled to be a part of. A typical 'milan' between two families - nothing but glorified means for a random ladka's relatives to make judgements on a plausible bride and her hapless household. She hated it.

More than half the people crowding her living room were faces she knew not. At the centre of everyone's attention was a supposed groom that she had no interest in. The gifts and sweet-boxes meant little to her. The priest who'd been busy delving on the 'positive' qualities in her horoscope, had absolutely no idea about the current turmoils wrecking her life. Family 'heads' were engrossed in supposedly refined discussions of traditions and money - something she knew would only to pave the way for dowry-ish expectations in future. SHE - HATED - IT - ALL.

Just by letting herself be subjected to this sham-of-a-ritual, she felt like she was cheating both, herself and her relationship with Jalal. Furthermore; not only was it offensive but plain weird too - people were actually revelling in the coming together of two families, oblivious to the fact that the bride herself was least interested in this arrangement!

'Your beautiful daughter is so coy and quiet...' many of them had remarked!

'Ridiculous' she'd thought - seeing how they couldn't differentiate her blatant disinterest from coy-and-quiet.

What was strange was that the very people now desperately pushing for this alliance were not happy either - her family. She didn't miss the underlying tension behind all those plastered smiles that they'd been putting on throughout. After all, her family's conscience was riddled with guilt too. Forcing their laadli into a marriage she wanted not? Harbouring secrets from the groom-to-be and his parents so that the rishta would be formalized without a hitch? That was not how the Singhs had envisioned their daughter's wedding!

Yet, that's how it was to happen now if they had to preserve their social standing and cover-up for their daughter's blunders!

Oh yes; 'guilt' was plaguing her conscience heavy too. She'd forgotten none of it. Jodha was just as self-reproachful now as she'd been a few hours ago for what she'd put her family through. However, she only wished she didn't have to be punished for her choices in THIS manner. Anyhow, she'd decided she was not going to let this absurdity get under her skin. Given some time to recuperate from the many shockers to have hit her recently, she would try to undo this rishta mess sometime later in the typical Jodha fashion.

Firstly though, there were other things to worry about - more critical developments that needed her urgent attention. Somehow, her family had assumed that getting her married-off was not punishment enough for her supposed crimes. They'd planned worse. They were threatening to take away one more thing she was earnestly devoted to - her MBA degree.

'It's better to stop your University at this stage...paise jaaye bhaad mein...'

'We'll have a word with the Dean and AD ...'

'If you don't go to college, you'd have no chance of meeting that boy again...'

'You can continue your MBA after marriage - if your husband permits you to do so...'

The intimidations that she'd been repeatedly subjected to that morning came back to haunt her every now and again as she sat on that lone armchair, all by herself. Why did Bade bhaiyya and Kranthi bhaiyya have to add to her already-long list of problems? They cared not for the money they'd lose if they took this step. All they cared for was securing their family's repute and THIS was the only sure-fire answer they knew of, to put a stop to their errant little sister's wayward ways. They seemed determined enough to make it happen - and she had to ensure it didn't! But, how?

She'd already begged. She'd pleaded too. She'd even gone on her knees. She'd made promises. Promises that she would give up her social life completely. Promises that she'd end all outings with friends. Promises that she'd stop her meet-ups with Jalal. She'd assured them that she would strictly adhere to the college-home-home-college routine. In fact; other than the ONE thing they wanted to hear she'd tried every trick in the book - but, no! That was not enough.

What they wanted to hear from her was 'I'll give-up my relationship with Jalal altogether...'

They wanted Jodha Singh to have NOTHING to do with Jalal Muhammed ever again. Now, THAT was something she was refusing to promise. After all, she knew she would never be able to give him up - and she didn't want to lie to or cheat her family once again.

'Jalal'  her mind inadvertently went back to thoughts on him - the only solace in her life now 'How I wish I could talk to you now...'

Alas, she couldn't!

She had no phone. In spite of having a landline and a laptop at home, she'd been given neither the chance nor the privacy to access them. She had no idea how he was doing. She had no means to tell him about the kind of unforeseen twists her life had gone through in the past ten hours. If only there was some way to speak to him - to discuss the issues with him - to share her worries with him. His supportive words, his sweet smiles, his gentle voice - they would have boosted her morale like nothing else would.

'God! Get a hold on yourself Jodha' she chided herself, as she felt a tear brimming at the corner of her eye. Turning away from the revelry in front, she looked aside and wiped it off subtly. Her only hope remained that she would be lucky enough to meet him for a few minutes after classes at the campus a day after. That is, IF she could manage to step out of her house on Monday. That is, IF she could successfully beg-and-plead her way out of this imposed house arrest. That is, IF her brothers miraculously changed their mind!

'Hope something positive happens... hope they calm down...hey...what if...' she suddenly wondered, as a selfish but much-needed notion struck her 'What if these rishta discussions change their mood...and temporarily make them feel better... iske baad...shaayad... bhaiyya maan jaaye...please Ambe Ma...don't let them take away my MBA away from me...please...please...'

'Singh Sahab!'

The chatter in the living room fell silent at once. The boisterous echo that'd managed to instantly lull down the bustle around her was that of Rishabh's grandfather. Intrigued; Jodha looked up at the profile of the domineering old man, waiting to see what he had to say

'We've seen enough...' he nodded his head assertively 'We've spoken enough... we've dined enough... Rishabh is happy... my son and bahu are happy... our family is satisfied too... we would like to consider this rishta between your daughter and my grandson formalized!'

'Arre wah!'

'Congrats!'

'Badhai ho!'

A wide range of smiles and greetings instantly took over the room like an epidemic. Unmoved by it all, Jodha looked up at her family for a few seconds. She wanted to gauge their reactions. Somehow, they appeared happy. Not 'overjoyed' happy, but 'relieved' happy.

'Hopefully' she surmised thereafter - hopefully, she might be allowed to continue attending college after all!

******************************************************************************************

THE SRI RAMAKRISHNA INSTITUTE LIBRARY

Flick - Flick - Flick - Flick - Flick - Flick - Flick - Flick - Flick - Flick - Flick - Flick - Flick - Flick

She was unaware of how annoying it was beginning to sound- even when the fidgeting of the magnetic clasp on her handbag was now relentlessly echoing within the quiet-zones. Thankfully, the library was near-empty or she would have drawn quite a few miffed glances her way. Well, either way - she couldn't be bothered. The agitated young lady barely had an idea of her whereabouts - forget following etiquettes! So lost was she in her own dilemmas. So engulfed was she by worry that she knew not what she was doing.

'Jalal's passed on this message...' Meera had informed her at the end of the seminar-break 'He said he'll be waiting for you in the library after 4...'

So, here she was - making her after-class trip towards him. The routine was not unlike how she unfailingly did so on every weekday in the past six months. Only, THIS meet-up was anything but 'routine'.

After their momentous rendezvous on Friday night, she'd left behind a man who smiled in content - a man whose features boasted of a blissful glow. However, she was certain that what she would unveil hereafter - would strip off those very smiles and that very glow from his handsome persona. Her unfortunate boyfriend knew nothing - nothing at all. Over the two-day weekend, they'd had no chance to communicate - even via friends! So, she had no idea how he'd take the news. She had no clue how he'd react to the latest unpleasant turn-of-events. All she knew was that the possibilities of their conversations ending on a 'pleasant' note was minimal.

Her pace came to a slow standstill thereon. Her fingers stopped flicking the clasp. There he was - sitting at THEIR favourite table - the one that was best hidden from the librarian's view. Like always, his face was buried in a couple of colossal books on Business - possibly penned by his preferred authors. However, unlike always - he didn't look up to greet her with a 'Hey sweetheart' wink or a grin. This, despite the fact that he NEVER missed her arrival even once. Was this foretelling?

Nevertheless, she watched him for a brief spell more since she loved doing that. It'd only been two days since she'd seen him last, but it felt like an era had passed by. Contrary to her state, he seemed to be at such peace with himself - engrossed in his books. Did she really have to snatch away that sense of joy away from him? Couldn't ONE of them be happy - at least for a while?

'No!' she decided to draw away from her reverie, a few seconds later 'He needs to know everything!'

Letting out a heavy sigh, Jodha resumed her slow journey up to the table. Pulling out a chair, she sat beside him.

He didn't look up.

'Jalal' she called out to him

'Hmmm' he muttered, his eyes still transfixed on the pages  

'Jalaaal' she grew restless

'Hmmm...' he uttered inattentively 

'Jalal' she started shaking his hand rigorously 'Look at me! I'm talking to you...'

'Arre...' he glimpsed at her with a part-amused smile 'What are you doing?' noticing how frantic her expressions were just then, he leaned back on his chair and folded his arms impishly - taking his own sweet time to did so 'Hmmm...1 minute I don't pay you attention and you become so vexed... two days...TWO WHOLE days you've paid my messages no attention...pataa hai?' he started counting on his fingers 'I sent four emails...a message about my doctor's visit...I tried to get in touch with you through Meera...but nope... no response... if nothing else, I wanted to know if you'd reached home safely and on time!' swiftly noting how her temperament wasn't changing for the better, he brought his mini-drama to a gradual halt 'Hey... it's ok...you're here and you're fine now...that's all that matters!'

Jalal moved forward to take her hand in his, briefly falling silent. A mellow grin escaped his lips. It was their first meeting following the night. It was their first meeting after they'd made love. He was getting to play with her fingers again like he had then. He was getting to look into her eyes once more 'God...I've missed you so much...' he whispered 'I knew it would be difficult for you to contact me since you don't have a phone ...but I've been so impatient to talk to you... to know how you were doing...' he paused, a dreamy haze filming over his eyes as the beautiful scenes came back to him in the form of a vivid recollection 'I've lived the most beautiful moments of my life with you on that night, Jo... I guess that's why when I woke up ... it took me a very long time to get back to reality...to comprehend that you weren't physically there beside me... that I was only lying beside a crinkled pillow and an envelope that you'd left behind...'

She sat there speechless as he continued revealing his innermost sentiments. It was true that his experiences mirrored hers. When SHE'd opened her eyes - when she'd woken up, she'd taken long enough to come out of her own dream-world too. The tragedy was that ever since she'd descended from dreamland into reality, her world had been anything but rosy.

'Jo, say something' he called out to his silent girl, before bringing his thoughts to an end 'Since you were gone by the time I woke up...since I received no messages... I assumed you'd woken up to the alarm and left on time... I only wish you'd woken me and not left alone!' he paused - getting a tad bit concerned by the ongoing apathy in her eyes 'I take it you DID reach on time...'

'Why did we do it?' came her sudden response 'Why did we cross the line?'

'What?' his eyes widened in alarm

'WHY DID WE DO IT?' she repeated with an impassive stare 'Fine! I wasn't in my senses...but, YOU could have stopped me, right?'

He cocked his head, unable to believe he was hearing what he was 'What are you saying?'

'I knew it...' she began clutching the sleeve of his shirt in frustration 'You've been going on and on about how it's all so beautiful without having an inkling of what I'm going through... is this because we come from different societies that we hold very different views on such a significant issue?'

'Jodha... calm down...maybe we should go somewhere more private to discuss this...' taking her hands off his sleeve, he tried gently holding her down to put a stop to the unanticipated fit of hysteria 'And we haven't done anything wrong...'

'No Jalal... it IS wrong...' she forcefully wiggled her palms out of his clutch 'As a guy this might be trivial for you...but not for me...'

'Trivial?' he was shocked

'Yes...' she spoke over him 'Because where I come from it's considered sinful for an unmarried girl to indulge in something like this... I've gone against every lesson my parents have inculcated in me...and all for my own selfish reasons!' she buried her face in her palms 'I don't recognize myself anymore ... this is NOT how I envisioned love would change me...I don't like this...I should have just stuck to my books...'

A minute or so later - with her head still buried in her hands - the junior brought her rude rantings to a stop. She was nearly breathless. That tirade had come out of the blue. She had no idea why, but she'd flown off on a tangent here.

Having waited a while for him to retaliate - and having hearing nothing from him, she finally looked up. It was then that she witnessed a disappointment in his eyes that she'd never seen before. Her reckless words had pained him. Her heart sank.

What was she doing? What was the point of this meaningless blame-game? She closed her eyes and looked down, as she asked herself why she was hurting him more. Maybe because she was hurt herself? Maybe she just needed to get this off her chest first? Maybe because the only person she could show her frustrated-self to was him? Maybe because she just wanted to blow some steam - something she'd been unable to do for the past two days?

'I'm sorry...' she confessed as she began kneading her forehead 'I am so.. sorry Jalal... damn...' she slapped her forehead 'I'm making no sense, am I?' she glimpsed back at him with remorse 'Jalal, I've been having nightmares of a different kind now...nightmares that I might have taken the wrong decision... because I've disrespected my upbringing...'

'Hmmm...' he finally spoke up, having watched her reactions at close quarters. It'd taken him a few deep breaths and a full two minutes to compose himself - but he had to do so, so he could answer her sensibly 'Jo, I agree I'm not seeing this from your angle...I agree that I don't consider what we did sinful, because my views are different... but just because I'm a socialite's son...just because I party...doesn't mean that I wouldn't know how to value a genuine relationship...what we had was not a blind date, some drunken sex or a one night stand! This is not trivial for me either...far from it! Why I appreciate what we had was because it was very personal to me...' he sighed 'I am so proud of the fact that YOU - an independent decisive woman that I love... trusted ME with the most important sentiment in your life to help you feel better... I find it so dignified that two emotionally and physically torn people found solace in one another... if that's not beautiful, I don't know what is! So, nothing you say now is going to make me undermine what we shared!' his eyebrows knotted into a questioning frown 'And why are you blaming yourself? Yes, you've changed in love...but, who doesn't? Heck, I have!' he slapped the table But that doesn't mean we've lost our identity... instead, we've given ourselves a new identity...' abruptly recognizing that the intensity in his tone was heightening, he tempered his message there for a bit - after all, they were still seated at a library.

In the stillness that ensued, she continued observing her man intently. She let him read her eyes too. She had nothing to hide - she was touched. He'd just given her a strong and earnest wake-up call. While she knew that she wasn't wrong in having had her self-doubts, she realized that he was right at his own place too. It was obvious from his pithy words, that his emotions on the issue were steadfast. Yes, their views on this delicate subject differed slightly - but, she had to admire how sure he was of THEM as a couple.

'Jo...' he resumed the conversation, reinstating her soft palms in his 'Do you want to tell me what's actually happening?'

'If only there was some way I could give YOUR beautiful answers to MY family...and convince them that I've done no wrong by falling in love... then, they'd possibly stop sending me on guilt-trips...stop treating me like a culprit...'

'What!' he sat up, startled

Jodha continued staring at the soothing view of her palms tucked inside his 'I didn't get home on time yesterday morning, Jalal... I reached home only at 2:30 am... my family had learnt of everything by then about us... from Maan...'   

'WHAT!' his fingers had ceased playing with hers 'Maan? Why did he...'

'Yeah... I think bhaiyya called him at midnight to find out where I was... and ever since, they've been roasting me alive like I'm some criminal... no questions, only taunts...I think mamma fears to even think about how far our relationship's progressed, so she's not talking to me about it...' she let out a helpless smirk 'And do you know why I couldn't check my emails over the weekend... because we were busy entertaining Rishabh's family...'

'Kyaa?' he covered his mouth in horror, as another bolt hit him - and hit him hard 'Shit... this is bad...'

'Yeah' she nodded sadly 'My parents are forcing me into this rishtaa...they're listening to nothing I have to say...'

'But that's not right... can you not talk to this Rishabh...maybe he'll sympathize?'

'And then?' she shrugged 'He'll get back to his parents, who'll get back to mine... again, the blame will fall upon me...I will have to think of something else...' her eyes unwittingly began focussing on the stark wall behind Jalal - and into nothingness 'I know our truth had to come out in the open one day... but it's come out so disgracefully even PAPA's not talking to me...' her eyes started welling up 'For 23 years, I was the centre of everyone's attention in my family and suddenly I feel like an outcast!'

'But...but...after telling them about the stalker's misbehaviour, aren't they empathizing with what you went through that night? Have you told them everything...take bhaiyya to the station...he'll understand the gravity of the situation then...it might help calm his anger against you...'

'I started telling them, but stopped midway...' she sighed 'After all, I've been hiding the stalker story from them all along too...so they don't trust my words now...anyway, I'm certain bhaiyya's going to lodge a complaint...'

'Do you want me to speak to my Ammi...' Jalal was clinging at straws here 'It would take me a while to convince her...but...'

'No... no...' she dismissed the suggestion at once 'Don't come anywhere near my house for now... the situation's very bad... I have no idea how they'll react...they're...' she turned aside - the tear had made its way down her cheek by now

'Jo...' he cradled her palms, eager to make her feel better - the sight of her forlorn tears felt worse than the myriad of awful news she'd just updated him with 'They DO love you...it's only that they're very very angry... give them some time...' he paused with a caring frown 'In the meanwhile...I can be your go-to family, if you want!'

Somehow, that statement brought an unexpected smile to her lips. Eventually reverting her attention to him, she went on to nestle his face in her hand - her glances as loving as could be 'You say the sweetest things boyfriend...you will ALWAYS be MY Jalal... but a girl does need her dad and her mom too...'

'I understand...' he smiled sadly 'We knew this would be tough... and we ...'

'Tough? It's a disaster!' she remarked sarcastically 'I never anticipated such a backlash... you know... bhaiyya is planning to stop my post graduation... somehow, I managed to convince them today and get here...maybe because they're still reeling from the joy of my formalized rishta ...'

'Stop your education?' he exclaimed, now evidently flustered by the unending trail of bad news he was getting 'But why?' he'd guessed her family would never approve of this relationship straightaway - but still, why overreact so much? What sense did it make to stop her from getting her degree?'

'They don't even want me attending the same institute as you go to!'

Woah! He rolled his eyes in disdain. This was getting crazy. Oh yes, he could feel his temper rising but he had to lid his rage - after all, it was her family they were discussing about. Nevertheless, this sort of behaviour was alien to him. He'd never expected that her loving educated family would begin pressurizing their daughter to this extent. A forced rishta? Threatening to terminate her education? His free-thinking psyche couldn't understand this sort of conduct. He didn't like it one bit. If only there was something he could do to help her out. If only he could somehow ease her afflictions. If only - but how could he?

- unless of course...

'Jodha...' he spoke up softly after a while 'They don't want you attending the same institute as I go to, right? They need not worry on that front anymore...'

'Why?' she asked, partly surprised 'What are you going to do?'

'I'll tell you later...' his look was determined 'But, this degree's your dream...and I'll ensure nothing affects that! So, chin up now...'

'Chin up?' she laughed lifelessly at the irony of that phrase 'I've lost face at home Jalal...and I'm losing faith in myself too...I'm constantly worried...for your safety...for my dad's health...for my education...for our relationship... the list is endless... I guess I'm going to become mad one day...'

'No you wouldn't... not as long as we're together...' he tightened his grip around her palm - as though to show her that they shared a bond unshakable 'I'll support you all the way... just get back your fortitude... just say - YES WE'LL GET THROUGH!'

No response came.

'Say YES Jo...' Jalal nudged her once more

'Huh?' she queried, somewhat lost 'Oh.. y...yes...it'll happen...'

'When can I see you again? In campus? Tomorrow?'

No response came again - the quiet moments that followed were turning to be a heavy one for him.

'Nahi...' she eventually mumbled in a stupor 'I'm not sure I can meet you in campus Jalal...just give me a week... I need to try sorting a few issues back home at first, ok?'

He was dismayed - not by her answers, but by the lacklustre manner of her replies. Her sullen form was a reflection of her teetering confidence in their future. Her layers of determination were being peeled apart - one after another - by the torrent of catastrophes that'd rained upon them. Watching this slow death of her spirit was torturous. He realized then, that his biggest uphill struggle lay- not in the many problems they faced - but, in restoring her lost attitude in her own self.

**********************************************

Hope you enjoyed it and if you did please leave me a like/comment if time permits since it helps the writer in me to keep going πŸ˜³

Edited by lashy - 9 years ago
lashy thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#14
End of thread 3 πŸ€—Edited by lashy - 9 years ago
lashy thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#15
Thanks so much my beautiful readers for supporting this story - there is just no words enough to express my gratitude... this story has become more a dedication for me than just a hobby or a pastime now and I hope I continue to be able to keep you all interested
πŸ€—
...Radhika... thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#16
AWESOME! congo for new thread
lashy thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#17
Thanks girls πŸ€—
Ab ye chapter πŸ€” I'm a bit errr... but it had to be this way...
Heeralicious thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#18

Originally posted by: lashy

Thanks girls πŸ€—

Ab ye chapter πŸ€” I'm a bit errr... but it had to be this way...

 
padhne do yaar..shaanti se...
Heeralicious thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#19
Oh my my! What a wonderful chapter...πŸ˜³β­οΈπŸ‘
Loool Jalal sang!πŸ˜†πŸ˜† worst among the already bad singers group!πŸ˜† BUT.. it was the cutest thing SHE had seen!πŸ˜³πŸ˜ƒ
 
 
Jo's head in his lap.. they both enjoying that sweet soothing lovely moment together... resting on the swing.. trying hard to read their books...
 
lol... Same here ka kya matlabπŸ˜†πŸ˜† Jo's teasing answer I LOVEDDD!!πŸ˜³πŸ˜†πŸ˜†
 
Di.. gtg now.. LOVED the chap..  will comment in detail soon..
 
oh man! Whos on call... THE STALKER? Some one else?πŸ˜•
 
Edited by PrincessNancy - 10 years ago
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Posted: 10 years ago
#20
you know what... kabhi kabhi lagta hai ki Abdul stalker hai! πŸ˜• πŸ˜†