An IshRa SS - Winning Her Back - ON HOLD - Author's Note: Pg 56 - Page 5

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Isma_A thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#41

Originally posted by: Arooj.M


LOL Same here! There are so many wonderful OS's being added everyday that I now have to reserve and save them for when I'm free!
And I look forward to reading your opinion on the OS once you have read it πŸ˜³


Updated on page 4. πŸ˜Š
Arooj.M thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#42
OMG My first long comment! YAY Can't wait to read what you've written for me!

Originally posted by: Isma_A

I'm on  a res'ing spree with OS's. πŸ˜†

I look forward to reading! πŸ˜Š

Edited: 

This is so so so well-written, probably one of the best written OS's I've read here!!! Sachi? Itna acha likha maine?? Can't be one of the best, you simply haven't read all the OS's in this forum then, especially Aani's (EkPaheli), hers are AMAZING! You are such a good writer, from the descriptions to the dialogues! I have to ask-- did you study literature? πŸ˜†πŸ˜‰ Oh stop, you're making me blush πŸ˜³πŸ˜³, no I haven't studied literature, unless you count the 2 years I had to study it for GCSE along with 10 other subjects!  I absolutely loved that Ishita, while understanding enough to withdraw the complaint, did not forgive Raman, and will make him work for ittt. She will definitely make him work for it, I can't let Raman off that easy, not after all the pain he gave to Ishita in today's episode. And Raman's determination to do exactly that! Ab determined tho wo hoga hi, aakhir uss ki better half hai wo! I NEED this to happen exactly like as you wrote on the show!! The last scene was really touching, with Raman so desperate to be near his wife. Sigh.  Now I HAVE to know what happens when he gets caught, because he absolutely must now πŸ˜›πŸ˜† Itna desperate tha ke chodo ki thada guss gaya uss ke saath bistar mein, besharam!

One point of critique: I think I only saw this once or twice, so it's not a really big deal, but I would try to avoid cliches. I think it was somewhere in the beginning where you described Raman feeling as if a knife twisted his heart or something along those lines; I would try to use another phrase or describe another way. There may have been another point but I can't remember it now. :$ This is purely the English major in me talking, though, so you don't  have to take me seriously. πŸ˜› Oh goody, you gave me something to improve on. I think the other cliche you're talking about is the part where I said something like Ishita was staring so intensely at him, that he felt like she was looking directly at his soul. That's cliche for sure! But I didn't know what else to write, when I do get my brain working I'll think of something and change it. Currently, my brain is a bit slow from fasting all day πŸ˜† and you're an English Major?? Please tell me you've written something amazing in this forum for me to read!

A final note, which I'll add as a side: I LOVE that you kept the dialogues between them in Hindi. THANK YOU! I didn't know whether to do it in hindi or english, I was gonna opt for english because not many people understand hindi, but then thought since the show dialogues are in hindi I should keep my OS as a continuation of the episode. It adds a different feel for me as reader, one where I can connect a little differently, a little more. It might sound weird, haha. Just a personal preference. But I of course wouldn't mind if it were all in English, either. πŸ˜Š

This was really great. Please do  update send and let me know when you do!😊 I have sent you a friend request, so that it is easier for me to PM you when I do update, and the update shall be up by morning.


Thank you so much for such a lovely and long comment Isma, I really enjoyed reading your opinion on my writing, and I'm even happier that you chose to tell me what I should improve on! It'll only make me a better writer. Once again, thank you πŸ€—
nehaarshi09 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#43
wonderful...plz doo continueπŸ‘πŸΌ
Isma_A thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#44
Pleasure was all mine, Arooj! This was such great writing! I was an English major as an undergrad, but haven't written on the forum, and doubt I ever could. I'm too analytical and academic with my writing to ever try creative writing. You'd all be bored. πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

Ramazan mubarak! I see you're in the UK. I was in the UK for my MA and did Ramazan there in 2012. Rozays there are crazy, man!! At least it's not hot there like here (I'm in the US), so we have heat and long hours.  πŸ˜•  But I still would take rozays here with the heat than rozays in the UK (although the UK is where I would relocate for life if I could, haha.) πŸ˜Š
Arooj.M thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#45

Originally posted by: Isma_A

Pleasure was all mine, Arooj! This was such great writing! I was an English major as an undergrad, but haven't written on the forum, and doubt I ever could. I'm too analytical and academic with my writing to ever try creative writing. You'd all be bored. πŸ˜†πŸ˜† You should let us be the judge of your writing! 

Ramazan mubarak! Ramazan Mubarak to you too! I see you're in the UK. You guessed from my comment on GCSE's didn't you πŸ˜† I was in the UK for my MA and did Ramazan there in 2012. Rozays there are crazy, man!! At least it's not hot there like here (I'm in the US), so we have heat and long hours.  πŸ˜•  But I still would take rozays here with the heat than rozays in the UK (although the UK is where I would relocate for life if I could, haha.) πŸ˜Š What kind of crazy? Are the rozay in US not long like here? We start fasting at about 2:50am and open our fast at around 9:30pm, so it's nearly a 19 hour long fast, and even when I do open my fast I don't feel like eating anything. It's like I've just finished eating for Iftar and now I have to eat for Sehri, so I end up drinking a glass of water for Sehri, that's it! So they are pretty crazy here, but I'm not sure what kind of crazy you're talking about LOL πŸ˜†

Arooj.M thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#46

Originally posted by: nehaarshi09

wonderful...plz doo continueπŸ‘πŸΌ


Thank you and I'm writing  the next part right now, as soon as I'm done I will update :)
photofreak thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#47
A wonderful OS dear... pls continue soon... the way the emotions were shown aah i really loved it ...anyways i am a bhatki hui atma here but stilll pls Pm kardo na... 
Nikita99 thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#48
Awesome OS. Please continue soon. Could you please pm me as well?! Thanks!Edited by Nikita99 - 9 years ago
Isma_A thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#49

That is the type of crazy I was talking about! Haha. I remember having iftari and like 4 hours later, forcing myself to have sehri, so I used to just stay up. πŸ˜† I sometimes also just had something to only drink because I couldn't imagine eating again so soon. πŸ˜† They're long here, too, but our sehri ends an hour later and iftari  is an hour earlier. It's just SO hot here. πŸ˜΅ I'm convinced I can fast in any part of the world now after having successfully kept all my rozays in the UK. πŸ˜†
Arooj.M thumbnail
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Posted: 9 years ago
#50

Originally posted by: Romanticfreak

A wonderful OS dear... Thank you πŸ˜³ pls continue soon... Updating in a few minutes πŸ˜Š the way the emotions were shown aah i really loved it ... Thanks once again πŸ˜ƒanyways i am a bhatki hui atma here LOL πŸ˜† Such a funny line! but stilll pls Pm kardo na... Sent you a friend request please accept it to make my life easier  


Thanks for haunting my OS bhatki hui atma! πŸ˜†

Edited by Arooj.M - 9 years ago