Haunts and Dreams -Chapter 28
Farewell happy fields where joy forever dwells
Hail horrors
Hail Infernal world!
and thou profoundest Hell, Receive thy new Possessor
One who brings a mind
Not to be changed by Place or Time.
- John Milton (Paradise Lost)
Shadows loomed across the hall, their bodies so dark, and their faces so vague- unleashing a brash pandemonium of sounds, hurting, kicking, tearing at his ears, yet he could hear none at all. Or he couldn't make what was to be made of it all. His surroundings, vaguely familiar as if had sprung upon him like a dead man from his grave, the disarming familiarity made him panic. He had been there before, perhaps so many times that it was impossible to count the number, he should have been able to recognize the vaulting in the ceiling, the wooden floral patterns below the huge windows even if the darkness around him did not help his vision. His bare feet felt the cold floor beneath them of glassy smoothness. Feet cold and palms were sweaty. Despite the pain in his chest, despite the shadowy faces pushing him back with force, he wobbled on his feet to lunge his body forward.
Nothing was new about the place, about the experience... he had always felt the same whenever he was here. Yet this time he felt something different if not amiss. As if something was watching him apart from the shadows, something more human. And then he saw the light... he saw her...a girl. She stood still as a statue near one of the French windows, pale full moon light fell over half her body. She was frail, the half illumination made her appear only more fragile and divine. He wondered if she was for real, she could not be a part of this room or she had always been? And he had been unable to see her so far? No she should not be here, not in the vicinity of this sinister darkness that dwelled in the room to which she seemed to present such a contrast.
Arnav felt hope tickle his weak heart, he strode towards her with renewed zeal but fell on the ground. He got up and began to move again, never taking his eyes of her. She was beautiful, such beauty that he had never known to exist before this night. His gaze never faltered, it kept on moving up and down her figure, it stopped on her eyes - walnut. They sparked something in him, something alien, a feeling he wanted badly to have or just go away, he couldn't decide. The pain in his chest became more excruciating, he held out his hand for her to hold, but she didn't move. Perhaps he was still too far, he struggled some more gradually building up pace, fighting the shadows in his way, he reached out for her again, he needed it badly. He needed to touch her at least once. The moonlight over her face dimmed, he looked out of the window and saw a heavy curtain of dark grey clouds slowly hiding the moon behind them..."No...no" the words escaped his dry mouth, panic stricken he turned to her, she was still standing, now a mere silhouette... as if being engulfed by the shadows around. A distant sound began to ring in his ears.
I am leaving you forever.
"Khushi..." he heard himself say. "KHUSHI!" he cried out loud, his eyes flung open and he jolted himself up on his bed. He felt tiny beads of sweat on his forehead, his palms were damp. He looked around himself, startled at what he had been dreaming. His room was the usual quiet, jade walls and grey curtains. He flicked on the table lamp on the side table and checked the time, it was just four in the morning, but he knew he couldn't sleep anymore. He removed the duvet and got down wearing his slippers and sauntered over to the French window, drawing apart the grey curtains to reveal the scenery outside. The first rays of sun weren't sprout yet, it was still night outside. He had occupied himself with work since the moment she had left but couldn't deny that almost all the time her voice had been ringing in his ears garnering too much unease to ignore.
A voice inside him began to tease.
Don't tell me Arnav Singh Raizada that you are beginning to feel something for that girl.
So what if she is leaving, why am I so perturbed? I know only too well that I cannot feel, none of this nonsense. Never.
Really ASR?
It's called attraction. And it has got nothing to do with feelings. It's merely that curse of manhood to be attracted to a pretty thing of the opposite sex and nothing else. And as blatant as it sounds, physical. It's foolish to think it means anything on an emotional level. Me and emotions? Meh.
The first few rays of the sun turned the eastern horizon into a deep pink. Arnav changed into his joggers, perhaps a bit of workout would do him good.
****
The previous evening...
Gomti Sadan, Lucknow
Dayanand Mishra slurped the tea offered to him in a much audible fashion as he made himself comfortable over the worn-out sofa chair in Shashi Kumar Gupta's small drawing room. His face today was uncharacteristically grim, clearly he wasn't a bearer of happy tidings, Gupta could sense that. Still he chose to wear an expectant look for his lawyer friend.
"Shashi babu," Mishra began helping himself with another biscuit from the plate kept on the table in front him, "there is very little hope." He chose his words carefully, to be more truthful he would have told his friend to pack his bags and find himself a cheap rented accommodation as there was no hope at all.
"Did you find about the real owner of this place?" asked Mr. Gupta, if he was disheartened he did a good job of not showing it. In the adjacent room, Garima Gupta busied herself with idle dusting while straining her ears over the conversation.
Mishra took his time before answering that question, he retrieved an orange covered file from his bag, it looked old. He removed the jute thread binder from the cover and opened the file at a specific page dated December 1967. "As you know this property was given to your forefathers on lease that ended on this date." he continued tapping his finger on 23/12/1967. "Accordingly Gomti Sadan and the adjoining locality were transferred to its actual owner, Dhanraj Mallik. You know how it was in those days Shashi Babu, the entire region on this side of Gomti, around 800 acres was under the Malliks. Your father apparently had very good relations with Dhanraj Sahib." Shashi Gupta stilled at the mention. "And thus, he let your family continue to live here as they had been for so many years for sake of goodwill, but you must know that your father was never made the legal owner of this property."
"This means Gomti Sadan still belongs to Dhanraj Mallik." Shashi interjected.
"Dhanraj Sahib passed away long time back. It's been more than two decades."
"But Mishraji, if not him than his sons, we'll have to talk. Even if I am not the legal owner, I still possess some rights over the property that was passed on to my family by Dhanraj Sahib, it's been under our care and maintenance for so long at least we deserve being compensated by the government, if not me than Mallik Sahib..." he was cut by the crashing sound behind the curtain. He got up to check on his wife who was picking up the broken pieces of a tea cup from the ground. "Are you all right Garima?" he inquired. She nodded quietly. He went back to the drawing room and Mishra resumed, "if I could come in talks with Mallik Sahib, we could have reached some solution Shashi babu, but there is bigger trouble. It seems that Mallik sahib does not own any of his estates now."
Gupta returned him a blank look. "After Dhanraj Sahib's eldest son passed away, the only man left to take care of the family business was the younger Dheerendra Mallik. But that man is an incorrigible gambler, over the years he has lost nearly everything to gamble. In fact just a couple of weeks ago, he lost the last of the inheritance - Sheesh Mahal to some Delhi businessman. Although this man is said to have 'bought' Sheesh Mahal, but God only knows what really happens in such dealings."
"What about Gomti Sadan?"
Mishra handed him a newspaper cutting, it showed a picture of a long haired and heavy bearded man in a black suit. His hair was tied in a pony tail. "Do you recognize this man?" he asked. Shashi shook his head unsteadily. "Tejendra Tejpal, the man who is set to colonize our part of the city. Mallik had lost his land to the very same man."
Garima Gupta couldn't hear anything else, the world had spun and halted at one name Dhanraj Mallik. She looked around the place she had called home, suddenly unrecognizable...the chipping plaster of the walls suddenly too ugly, as if laughing at her...
****
"Why all of a sudden you feel this urgency of going back to Lucknow?" Payal inquired of a very frazzled Khushi who was busy dumping her clothes in the suitcase.
"It's been very long Jiji, I can't stay here anymore. Not another day. Not even a moment. I hate this city. I bloody hate it." she cursed angrily.
"You hate this city or you hate certain people in this city?" asked Payal objectively, "tell me Khushi, did you clash with Raizada again when you were at the office?" she saw her sister's shoulders droop immediately.
"I did and that Laad Governor, he broke your phone. What does he think of himself? May Devi Maiyya curse him. May all his phones break. May even his computers break. No that's not enough. I pray that all his machines break, all gadgets he owns brea.."
"Stop it Khushi. It's not going to help us in anyway and don't you remember what Amma says, if we wish ill of others all the bad actually gets directed at us."
"Humph, really? That Laad Governor does ill, speaks ill all the time what happens to him? Have you ever seen him, how cool he is. What is bad in his life?"
"You never know Khushi."
Khushi's brows knit in a frown, "Whose side are you on by the way, mine or his?"
"There is no point in arguing with you, is there any?"
"Good you realize that. Or I had almost thought that my own sister was going to ditch me for that fu****g bas***d." she brought her hands over her mouth immediately, "sorry...Jiji."
"Better keep that uncouth mouth of yours in check, you, or that goes loose in front of Amma and she presents you with a spanking." Payal warned. Khushi remembered her mother's spanking well, she had so often received it, especially on occasions when she had ended up bad mouthing which as a matter of fact was an activity she had loved to indulge herself in. Her curses only exploded in her brain while all she chanted was Hey Devi Maiyya lest her Amma's dreadful steel ruler should be tempted to bruise her arms.
The loud bang on the door and simultaneous shrill voice of Happy Singh rescued Khushi from the memories of the steel ruler. She turned to the door, Happy Singh greeted her the second time this day with his bright happy smile that somehow did not reach his eyes today. He handed her two train tickets to Lucknow, Khushi was saddened to be leaving this locality. Although they hadn't been here for that long but the sisters had befriended almost everyone in E-sector Lakshmi Nagar. And Happy Singh? Khushi always told him how she found him to be her long lost brother. She sighed. It would be a long day, she'd visit them all and bid goodbyes. She didn't mean to return to this city again, not anytime soon.
Madhumati stood watching from the door, unnaturally quiet, she grimaced looking at the tickets in her niece's hands. "So you have decided to leave." she said her voice heavy with emotion.
Khushi hung her head, now that she knew how lonely her aunt would be and that she badly needed support and she was leaving her in this state because of her issues with a far away man, made her feel low about herself. She brushed away the thoughts, she wasn't going back because of ASR, she was leaving because she missed her parents and that was that. No more doubts, she convinced herself.
"Ayee titaliya(butterfly), you would not miss your old bua? When you and Payaliya were tiny little girls, you would not leave me for a second. You both would come rushing and stick to me like ticks and flies on a buffalo..."Madhumati sobbed. Khushi couldn't suppress her giggles at her aunt's odd comparison, ticks and flies on a buffalo? She hugged her aunt, Payal stood there, never much animated yet there was a silent pleading in her eyes for her sister to change her decision.
The ancient black landline phone on the dining table rang the shrillest cry of call. Payal reached for it, her face lit up at hearing the voice on the other end, "Babuji." she greeted merrily and then all the merriness faded away. Khushi watched her sister dumbfounded, first her face had been so bright and then, as if with each passing moment the color drained from her cheeks.
****
Devyani Raizada went over the details of her speech once again. Later this afternoon, she'd be presiding as the Guest of Honor at a grand social event at Sainik Farms, where she was expected to give a speech on conservation of tradition and culture and the importance of the institution of marriage in the society. Her ideals were firm and she had plans to leave the audience spellbound with the eloquence of her tongue. Devyani had always been very fond of the microphone, since her school days she had a penchant for debating, speeches and all. She had specially learned Carnatic and classical music to never to miss an opportunity to hold a mike close to herself, Devyani was in love with it.
She had revised the part of her speech when her eyes fell over her side table, on it was a rosary of the rare one Mukhi Rudraksha, she gasped. She had long made a wish to have one, who had kept this here? She wondered aloud and immediately got her answer standing at the door. She smiled warmly, "Oh, my dear Shyam I knew, it could only be you." she patted his head affectionately as Shyam touched her feet for her blessings.
"Nani, you had once expressed your wish for it to me, remember?" he said.
"How can I not? But what I value the most is Shyam that how you never forget any of what we might have just casually stated. I wonder if we all can ever return the love you bestow upon this family."
"Nani this is my family and I am a very selfish man, all I do is only for my family for it makes me happy. Believe me, to see a smile on your face just makes my day."
"Then why do you insist upon living away from us? Why can't you and Anjali stay in Shantivan forever?"
Shyam smiled slyly, "You know what Nani, even this wish of yours is going to be fulfilled for a while now. Anjali and I have decided to leave our rental accommodation; we'd be having a little house to ourselves."
"Really, that's wonderful news son. When will your house be ready to move in?" she asked her happiness barely contained.
"I see, you wish us to move away pretty soon, don't you?" he grinned.
"Oh, shut up, don't say that. Now tell me, is that why you had come to my room?" she asked curiously.
"Uh, well Nani, half truth. The full truth is that I..." he searched for words looking a little flustered at how to make a start at the conversation. "Well, Nani, I needed a favor from you."
Devyani smiled magnanimously, patting his head again, "I'll be more than happy if I could do something for you son. Come tell me, you have never asked me for anything, this is the first time you are, I'd do whatever is in my capacity for you."
"Nani, actually I needed your advice on this recent case, in fact it's not a case, it's a friend's son who needed counsel. You know, the boy's future depends on this and I thought only a well experienced person like you will be able to give a sound advice. You have seen the world Nani, and whatever you tell me, I'll blindly trust your judgment."
Devyani swelled with pride, "You are honoring me son, tell me what his trouble is."
"Pramod is an old friend of mine Nani, we went to the village school together, he was a couple of years senior but he never completed his schooling. After sixth standard he left the school and joined his father in the fields. His forefathers had all been farmers and it's their family tradition that all boys eventually work as peasants." Devyani propped her wrinkled chin over her fist and listened with rapt attention, "So far there had been no problems, but now Pramod's son, Akhil despises this family tradition. Akhil was always very bright at studies, now that he is seventeen he has become eligible for the U.P. government's scholarship scheme for meritorious students. Akhil wants to enroll himself in a University for higher education but Pramod wants him to join him in the wheat fields as per their custom, you know. But look at this rebellious young man, he threatens to leave the house if he is not let to pursue his dreams. Isn't he being selfish and thankless Nani? The traditions that were set by his revered forefathers, he doesn't want to adhere to them. Thus Pramod has sent him to me, to counsel and convince him to forget about his education and become a peasant like his father. What do you suggest I should tell the boy." Shyam concluded and saw Devyani frowning deeply, almost angrily. The reaction he had expected to see, he smiled inwardly.
"I am bewildered Shyam..." she said finally, "that your words seem to be in support of your friend when what he is forcing his bright son to do is downright outrageous."
"Nani?" Shyam feigned shock.
"Yes. How can you not see that it's not the boy but the father who is being selfish. It's the father who needs counseling. He's coercing his son to follow stupid customs at the cost of his son's bright future."
"But tradition is a tradition Nani, they have been set by our wise elders. They are not stupid but only a little rigid." he suggested calmly.
Devyani came to her debater mode with full force. "And it is this rigidity which is stupid Shyam. Can't the father see, he is suppressing a young blood's dreams of a better future. Customs should be flexible they should not throttle somebody's freedom."
"You mean to say that if Akhil gives up on his studies, he'd be forever frustrated with his life. His hopes and expectations from life would be killed and he'd never be happy." Shyam put words into her mouth.
"Of course. In fact you must tell that friend of yours that if he lets his son chose which way, he'd end up making a far better career than peasantry can ever offer. He can earn well and employ labor to work on his father's wheat fields. That will be a win-win situation and most importantly that boy would be happy with his life! He should understand that it's not him but Akhil who would be the most affected person by this decision, after all it his life. He will have to live with it."
"You are right Nani, even if it might sound rude, but after all it is an individual's life and he alone should be responsible for deciding how he wants to live it. Isn't it?"
"Yes. Absolutely." Devyani nodded vehemently, satisfied that she had drilled in her point and probably saved a young life.
"And this stand of yours is firm?" asked her grandson in law suddenly.
"Yes indeed. Why?" she asked, a doubt began to creep in her mind. She was not a fool, she had a feeling this conversation was heading somewhere.
"But why does this stand change when the concerned person is Arnav?" Shyam said as if to confirm her doubts. Devyani stood up, for a moment unable to defend herself. She should have known, Shyam was a master with words, she had herself called him once the Antony of their family. "Look Shyam Arnav's case is entirely different." she said finally, how else would she deny the words she had herself said a few moments ago.
"Why is it different Nani? Like Akhil, Arnav too wants to live his life his way. He has already made his mark in his professional life Nani, he's an adult, he..."
"You cannot compare the two cases Shyam, Arnav's ways are offending. Have you ever met that girl Ms. Kashyap?"
"Yes I have once. And she may not be the best woman on earth but I did not find anything bad about her."
"Yes she may not be bad but do you know what Arnav says, he says that he wishes to live with her without marrying her. And that girl agrees to it. What do you call this?"
"Nani Arnav belongs to a different generation."
"This is no excuse. Akash belongs to the same generation, you and Anjali too, should this mean that I will..."
"Everyone has a different perspective of life. That is what individual freedom is."
"I will not allow this in this house. Never." she folded her arms.
"Think about it Nani, you know Arnav well and you know he will have his way anyway then why not keep the two of them here under your nose than set them free. If you think what people would say than you should think again. The way media is crazy about any update on Arnav's relationship status, half the world already knows about him and Lavanya. It's not a hidden affair."
"I never thought you would say this to me." she said resignedly.
"Nani all I want is Anjali's happiness. And she will not be happy unless Arnav is. It's the first time I am asking you for anything Nani, you said you would not disappoint me." he said earnestly.
"What do you want me to do then." she sighed.
"Let Arnav have his way. Give the two of them a chance."
Devyani's shoulders slumped in acceptance.
*****
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