why do some people look down at girls who have child out of wedlock or - Page 2

Originally posted by: reeha...k

It's part of society's expectations and culture surrounding women. 
The same can be said about a woman's sexuality. She's expected to have none. Be virginal, wait till marriage- where as more often than not, the same is not expected of their male counterparts.

Having a child out of wed lock is taboo because it goes against those cultural expectations and restraints of women: being a virgin, waiting till marriage. This is the same for a 16 year old girl, or a 26 year old woman, in many countries, including India.

In most western countries, a child before wedlock for a woman is not as stigmatized as before, however there is a sub context of age: Is the woman in her twenties and a "bin biyahi ma"? That's doable. If she's a teenager, there is a level of stigma to do with age and "babies having babies".

 but is dis not wrong ?   girls should stand against it n   fight rather den  adjusting n bearing dis  unfair doblestandard 

wat u say ?

That kind of thing is frowned upon almost everywhere..Not just in India.Well in western countries there are many single mothers but most of those are the ones who ended relationship some time after the child is born .Not out of wedlock I guess Edited by Nala - 10 years ago

Originally posted by: gaymsk

 but is dis not wrong ?   girls should stand against it n   fight rather den  adjusting n bearing dis  unfair doblestandard 

wat u say ?

Is it wrong? Ofcourse it is; should girls/people stand up against this? Yes, and in many parts of the world it is being fought. 

The thing is, a double standard like this that's culturally embedded in a society doesn't just dissipate over night- it takes time. I don't see it changing anytime soon- especially women hold the same double standard in regards to this.

Originally posted by: Nala

That kind of thing is frowned upon almost everywhere..Not just in India.Well in western countries there are many single mothers but most of those are the ones who ended relationship some time after the child is born .Not out of wedlock I guess

As to why it is like that I dont know..But I guess it is because bringing up a child is a costly business and in the older times women were not working so there will be no means to support the child if it is born out of wedlock.So they made it look bad if a child was born like that ..That's my take

It most likely got to do with sex outside of marriage and not child without marriage. The latter is just a symbol/proof of first, and the first is frowned upon. I met someone the other day, and his exact thought was "I would rather be with a divorcee than someone who has been intimate with another person outside of marriage." More than that, he was willing to share knowledge of another's intimacy with the world so that the girl's true character is known to others. Needless to say, outrageous and utterly disrespectful! If this thinking exists, then disapproval for child outside of marriage is expected.  Edited by persistence - 10 years ago

because of regressive society and backward ideology 

Because any woman who has sexual relations outside or without marriage or has a child is considered a threat to the patriarchal order and the system of family. Any community or society with rooted patriarchal notions would not take kindly upon a woman who directly pose such challenge to the established order. Hence she must be banished in order to keep the sanctity of our established norms of a family intact.

In other words, it's misogyny.

^^ is it really all that bad to discourage anything that challenges the prevailing order? Order vs chaos--- which is preferrable---generally speaking?

Originally posted by: zorrro

^^ is it really all that bad to discourage anything that challenges the prevailing order? Order vs chaos--- which is preferrable---generally speaking?

Originally posted by: -bLEu98-

Change is the only constant thing. If you look at history a lot of once prevalent orders no longer exist. One needs to adapt to the changing society. And an old order is replaced by a new order and that always comes through struggle, and some chaos.
 Moreover women demanding the rights to their own body, expressing their sexuality is a just cause. The society which keeps their women under leash can never progress. And patriarchy isn't exactly an ideal order. 

each party would obviously try to hold on to what is beneficial to it. Its like a tug of war between the old order and new. The more motivated wins I guess 🤔.