PaRud SS::Piya Na Rahe Man Basiya(Angst)Part 2 up, Note on PG 10(4/05) - Page 3

Originally posted by: arshi_r_da_bst.

its a very nice concept and u write very well. go ahead.. 😊

Thank you, dear...glad you liked the concept...will continue soon..

Originally posted by: chotidesi

If you hadn't mentioned it, I would not have guessed that you are a first time writer! I love this- I hope you continue, because I'd like to see Rudra's reaction to a Paro that wants to give herself to him, entirely. I like the way you portrayed her uncertainty, her want to be loved- I think that's very deeply rooted in her character. I'm definitely looking forward to reading more from you- welcome!

Aww...thats sooo sweet of you😳 YES! Rudra will grace his presence in next update ...thanks or the warm welcome😊

First of all - WELCOME to IF! You have just opened the door to a long-term addiction 😆.

I have to agree with Zara and Navin. You have very nicely captured Paro's view, her thoughts, her longing to belong and be wanted. There are of course many possibilities on why Rudra is behaving this way. But if you intend to stay true to the character from the show, then one thing is for sure - the tadap is on both sides and immense guilt on one.

I love angst. So do please continue.

And can i give a teensy-weensy bit of suggestion? <Don't mind. Please. I write too, and have struggled with this myself and hopefully overcome it. But i do tend to notice it since its such an easy trap for writers to fall into> Don't change the tense or person mid-way through the story-telling in the same part. The beginning and Kakisa-Maithili portions were in 3rd person but Paro's section was not. Even though the tale is being told in 3rd person and not first person. Again, no intentions of upsetting or offending you. You write really well and have a good grip on your characters.

Originally posted by: kdsubs

First of all - WELCOME to IF! You have just opened the door to a long-term addiction 😆.

I have to agree with Zara and Navin. You have very nicely captured Paro's view, her thoughts, her longing to belong and be wanted. There are of course many possibilities on why Rudra is behaving this way. But if you intend to stay true to the character from the show, then one thing is for sure - the tadap is on both sides and immense guilt on one.

I love angst. So do please continue.

And can i give a teensy-weensy bit of suggestion? <Don't mind. Please. I write too, and have struggled with this myself and hopefully overcome it. But i do tend to notice it since its such an easy trap for writers to fall into> Don't change the tense or person mid-way through the story-telling in the same part. The beginning and Kakisa-Maithili portions were in 3rd person but Paro's section was not. Even though the tale is being told in 3rd person and not first person. Again, no intentions of upsetting or offending you. You write really well and have a good grip on your characters.

Thanks for the lovely comment and the warm welcome...
I understood what you are saying...I will try to work on that...though it will be little difficult I guess because I feel like some lines in between should be said form characters POV...but I have a solution for that...from next time I will do that part in italic or will quote it 😊
and such suggestions are always welcome...so dont you ever think that I will be offended...

very nice..!!
w8ng for next.!

Totally loved it...The subtle build up to what she wants from him.

Please don't stop...You have a wonderful way with words, eager to know what will happen.

loved it...paro's feelings were beautifully depicted...i don't want to talk about mohini...guess that says it all...wonder what's in store for rudra once he returns...

Awesome work 

Hi there!! First of all a funny coincidence, I am eating tic-tacs right now! 😆

but awww that was sooo sweet of u! thank you and u were such a darling! 🤗 but what is ur name? 😳

And now coming to this lovely story u have started.. Honestly when we see a mirror of ourselves through the words of someone else, and if that mirror makes us face the very things we have fearfully tucked to the side till then.. and then those wounds one has  tried to patch up and pretend to not exist starts to ache making you break..
that is what this piece of writing is about.

The cruel words of kaki reaches her ears.. the words might be cruel.. but the root of it is indeed her heartbreaking reality..

Initially the words of Maitili makes her smile, because isn't it what she tells herself over and over so that now she herself has started believing it?
But the next verbal assault - ripping apart the protective cover she has built.. reminding her of the harsh reality she has tried to make herself believe is better than what it really was.. but... its now reminding her of all the things that are so very wrong b/w herself and Rudra.. their marriage..  because how long can someone stay optimistic when everything is telling her that 'Waiting for him is like waiting for rain in a drought. Useless and disappointing.'
yet its heartbreaking to know that she is making one final effort.. She has shared her everything with him. only to be spurned.. so she is going to offer him her final gift... her body...

I wonder where you will take this tale from here... it has so many possibilities.. but the way you have portrayed a 3rd cruel POV and Paro's instinctual hurt and the subsequent responses to it is amazing!

Just loved reading it and waiting to read the next part! 😳

Welcome to the india forums.

that is really awesome i love it