Originally posted by: Oldestfan
I kinda knew it had to be a dream. A major having broken himself nearly in two to break through to Jasheen Khan could not possibly be indulging in a night of pleasure. That is a soldiers spoil after a victory, not a defeat. A defeat by the courage of the meek girl. So I moved on down the rest of the story.
So in her torture, he violated himself, his own psyche, his... Dare I say it... Soul!
The dream... For it was none other than Parvati in front of him, and she at the time was probably in critical care, has a great many elements that can be interpreted in so many ways... She is naked because he made her so. He is naked because his conscience has stripped him down to the bone in his subconscious. He imagines himself taking his pleasure from her, of her accepting it, because he himself cannot accept what he did. His application of perfumed oil... Trying to heal her wounds? But it turns to blood because he caused those wounds to happen in the first place!
Whichever way he turns, the enormity of what he has done stops him, cripples him, makes a cuckold out of him!
You are a very clever girl, Navin Baisa! When you do a book tour in Bangalore, give me a heads up. By the way, did you by any chance watch a play called the Prophet and the Poet in Dhaka a few years ago, by a theater troupe from Bangalore?
I actually only moved to Dhaka recently, I was in NYC before that, so I'm assuming I missed a certain beautiful, cultured, well read and talented India Forums member who performed in Dhaka at that play? 😉 We should talk about it, actually---the title is hugely intriguing--I'd love to know more.
As you've correctly interpreted, the images I chose to include had to be sensual, but have meanings beyond the obvious, so I could melt them into other stuff- oil to blood, sex to death, domination to submission. Rudra is so strong, he wont break physically. I needed him to break. Literally, from the inside, his mind needs to shatter, just a little. One mistake cannot do it, really. He, even now (and you'll see, in future installments, in the future) he has the icy, obsessive, meticulous dominion over Paro's life. And this wont change. She is valuable beyond just being Rudra's obsession. He is a soldier. She is the star witness, and still now, a hostile one. She has no way of circumventing that control of his.
And a man like this wont listen to reason, or to his friends. He has none, you see. He will only listen to himself--so he needs to have his own subconscious rip him apart and he needs to internalize what he's done, before others can reach him from the outside.
So that is why I did this dream, as the entrance point to Repentance. He must feel flayed alive-==poetic justice only, since in my story, he almost had her flayed to death. He does not love her, he does not even like her, this stupid stubborn girl. But he is ferociously attracted to her, he needs her to be with him, and he needs her to be okay with that, so he can go on obsessing. And he is terrified of this need.
I hope that came through, in the dream imagery and that explains the sexual content!
Also--Im a dirty girl. There. I said it. The hot wala part is because I wanted him naked. Don't pretend you wont be remembering this chapter for later reference, Baisas! I know you lot!😆
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