The no-career girls of BV/ Earnings of a Civil Servant - pg8 - Page 5

Who said tht men being providers n women being homemakers is the norm for our civilization ???
please read some papers by reputed anthropoligist...during the hunter gatherer phase there was no thing like marriage...men n women were free to live together or do whatever they wish...
This marriage thing started after ppl started farming n settling down.
Then they wanted to retain the ownership if the land n pass it on to their own children.
Thts wen marriges started.It was a kind of legal contract to ensure tht the man was passing on his property to his kids not some other man's.
All the patriachal bullshit started after tht.
Just coz something has been followed for 1000s years it dosent mean its right.If thts the case thn why not continue doing child marriages...sati n polygamy...tht too part of our culture not very long ago.
I dont believe in specific gender roles why is it tht its always women's responsibility to maintain family honour?
balance work n family ?
Wat r men supposed to do ? twiddle their thumbs ??

I am ashamed to see tht in 21st century a ambition man is said to be successful n an ambitious women is termed arrogant !!!
I believe in equality...opportunities n choices shld be same for both men n women.If a women is ambitious n wants to work she shld not be branded as arrogant n not family oriented.
Similary if a man wants to stay at home he shld hav freedom to do so without being branded a nikamma.Look at the west...they hav diminished gender roles.
Anyways coming back to tv shows...most shows r regressive.They glorify self sacrificing doormats.
I agree one shld hav free will to make a choice but does society follow it ?
Its a known fact tht more sacrifices is expected frm women...these serials create sterotypes.
It increases expectation tht women ahld be ready to give up their career on her family's demands. Why so ? its totally unfair as there's no such expectation frm men.

I agree debbie...most IAS officers r married to trophy wives...who r pretty n convent educated n do nothing...not even housework( they hav govt staff for tht )...no wonder they r most sought after grooms in marriage market.
Btw domestic voilance is very high in IAS hubby housewife couples...I personally knw mny such couple both within my family n some aquintances...its rarely reported..

I hav also seen IAS officers married to IAS wives...
arvind khejriwal's wife is also IAS...in my hometown too the DM's wife is also IAS n DM of another district...they travel to their work location as they r pretty nearby.

So it depends on a person...Those men who r MCPs usually prefer housewife with no ambition.So that they can satisfy their male egos.
Men who r open minded with progressive nature will be ready to accept their wife's ambitions too.

Most of the IAS as well as IPS officers wives are housewives it is a well known fact.One of my batchmate's father is an IAS and mother is a homemaker and mostly dedicated her time and energy to "upholding her husband's status in the society".

Oh yes the ever sacrificing Indian women !!!!
Why is it tht its always woman who has to let go promotions, transfers for the sake of 'supporting' the fragile male ( Poor guy he is so dependent cant even pick up a glass of water)
Why can men make few sacrfices too ???
They can let go few promotions n transfer as well... cant they ?

maybe IAS officer girls can marry non ambitious guys who will be happy to stay home...why is this all abt men...their career...their family...their happiness.

Marriage is abt companionship n it shld be both ways...its not a master slave relationship...

1.Beacause the males are fragile and breakable and their ego is more fragile than glass itself

not all men mostly Indian , South Asian men...
I m living in australia n western men have moved far ahead frm victorian age...
they help at home...happily become househubbies if required...dont ogle n eve tease although most girls r dressed in skimpiest possible clothes.

n till now I hav not seen a women waiting on her hubby n in laws with trays...

There r few exceptions too but thts rarity...India is 200 years behind west in terms of maturity n mentality...n we r dreaming of being superpowers !!

Originally posted by: SPuja

@Aparna, I agree- women tend to sacrifice for their family- especially children. This is also due to social conditioning. Women are taught right from childhood to give other's problem more importance and to put herself last in her priority list. Initially, it was a matriarchal society and women were in forefront of hunting - so it is not about her physical attributes or nature. Later when she was confined to household duties - it was became her nature to look after these works and refrain from physically more demanding works (even household work is too tiring). When both husband and wife are in demanding jobs - it is the woman who sacrifices her career - like Sachin Tendulkar's wife or Amjad Ali Khan's (sarod player) wife and it is socially acceptable norm.

What we want to discuss in context of BV is - there is no such compulsion here. 'Taking care' of perfectly healthy in-laws does not justify sacrificing the career. (or may be like recent episode show - Bhaili is a success, just the viewers were deprived of its success story and Ganga is working for some scenes that too with her husband only - or may be in absence of her husband when she is shown as in-charge (from where did they get the idea to make a nurse incharge of hospital?). If we leave aside Ganga and Anandi - even the so-called MBA does not want to work (she is now redeemed, so will work part time in Bhaili and will 'take care' of her in-laws). Being a housewife is not degrading - but projecting only housewife as good women is degrading. The lady collector, the school principal etc. have just a few scenes in this serial - their story is not being shown. When we say BV is better than other serial - it shows how other serials are degrading the women.

Bold: Exactly what I meant. Thanks SPuja. 😃

Aparnauma: As said by Puja above and reiterared by me several times earlier, being "forced to give up jobs" is a different ball game as oppsed to "sitting at home despite having the oppurtunity". That pretty much IS the deciding point on "respect".

Nice views everyone.

In this show, both the leading females have good careers, but they are mostly name sake. Really CVs haven't dwelled much into their careers to show us how challenging it is to be a working woman, and how difficult it is to balance life. Or how these women handle both?

Recently they mentioned that Bhaili is successful, but how? What does Anandi do to make it a success. No details provided. But they do provide lot of details of how many times Anandi carries trays in a day. Basically CVs like to highlight aadarsh bahus. And hence there is always too much focus on how the heroines are a perfect example of bahu/beti/ma, how much they are always willing to sacrifice and how being a perfect bahu over-rules all other things in life. That is regressive.

Even Saanchi does not see the need to make a career despite being so educated.

In telly world, its all about being a better beendni first; studies /education / career will automatically follow. And if they don't its not a priority is the take home message.

.and they live off in others money.

Originally posted by: krystal_watz

reiterared by me several times earlier, being "forced to give up jobs" is a different ball game as oppsed to "sitting at home despite having the oppurtunity". That pretty much IS the deciding point on "respect".

Haven't read whole thread. 'sitting at home despite having the opportunity' seems like very disrespectful statement to me. Hence my interference. there is a lot of difference between 'sitting at home'and 'working for home by being a house wife' . I for one cannot be a house wife because that is a tough job which does not give returns in terms of money. But of course I wish these women who give most of their valuable time for home, make sure they are given the respect they deserve. when a woman decides to stay at home, that means she is sharing the responsibility of taking care of that family, so the money her husband earns is hers too. It doesn't mean she is living off on him 😲 . I wouldn't spend a day at home as a house wife if I'm not given the respect I deserve . earning is no t all...and it can never be the deciding point of ones self respect.


I do agree with the view about how they portray women in serials. the above para is not about these women in serials. It was directed to two statements which said housewives sit at home and that they live off on others earnings.