One time short story (6th Update Pg.12) - Page 2

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eli01 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: bishop22

Eli, Thank you for writing such a lovely heartfelt OS...

Please continue

Thanks Hose, nice to hear from you πŸ˜Š

Originally posted by: raya50-50

i liked that cards exchanging/reaching part, in next part there shoulnot be paahu please


Thanks πŸ˜Š

Originally posted by: sssabcd

emotionaly writtenn... So gud 

Thanks πŸ˜Š

Thanks πŸ˜Š

Thanks πŸ˜Š

Originally posted by: sss283

beautiful os emotional and caring... hope peehu realises what she has done... hoping for next time ...i know its an os but its damn good πŸ˜› 

Thank you πŸ˜Š

Originally posted by: sandhyasn

Lovely OS beautifully written

Thanks πŸ˜Š

Originally posted by: zeenathsheikh8

BeautifulπŸ‘πŸ‘ 

Thanks πŸ˜Š

Originally posted by: RaYaKapoor

ok i hate peehu all the more now.. How dare she destroy the birthday card.. The girl deserves to know what she means to her parents and she should realise its because of her that her parents are torn apart.. Its because of her they are dying millions of death everyday by not being together.. Oh god, at times i fell the baby peehu was a lot more mature than this peehu.. She knew emotions better as a kid.. I must say the CVs have mercilessly butchered the character.. Apart from my frustration, Awesome start.. Love the first part.. Do continue soon.. :)

 

First her parents need to sort things out between them self, then together they can influence Peehu, like this shown now, Peehu is just using what she can and what they allow her to get what she wants...
Thanks for liking πŸ˜Š

Originally posted by: anupam_dil

very nice update❀️...but plz can you continue?😊 

Thanks πŸ˜Š

Thanks πŸ˜Š

Originally posted by: priyajan12

awesome Eli di bt plz continu na plz plz pretty plz 

Thanks πŸ˜Š

Originally posted by: vironikajain

Hey eli.. Its so beautifull nd very well penned down.. Special employee's secret is out in this nd u have included both Ram - Priya's card too..loved this thingπŸ‘πŸΌ Pihu toh.. πŸ˜‘ but its good to see Ram's RB mood on her..she deserves all of it nd one slap( hope she will get one soon in show) Good one by u..thanx for writting this..loved it  

Peehu's biggest slap will be Ram supporting Priya and Sammy as Suhani's baby father in the baby certificate. 
And thanks πŸ˜Š

Thanks πŸ˜Š
Edited by eli01 - 10 years ago
eli01 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
Guys, thank you all, but it's one shot, not FF...and if I ever write will write only OS's and the Fake Promos, that's it.
Alkona thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
Awesome DudeπŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘!! No One gonna believe that you never wrote...Pls Continue from there where you made us speechless😊😊😊
eli01 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago

Originally posted by: Alkona

Awesome DudeπŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘!! No One gonna believe that you never wrote...Pls Continue from there where you made us speechless😊😊😊


Thanks buddy πŸ˜Š
eli01 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
    Hi guys, just wrote something..well, a small small short story/scene. Well, enjoy if yo think it's good one...





Talli Ram



Delhi...

 

-One more...  


Waiter:  -But Sir...


Ram, hardly managing to speak, under the influence of alcohol:   -Don't Sirrr me...just gooo...and get meee another rround! No, no rround..bottle! (Hitting with fist on table. Waiter gone to bring another round, Ram continues to him self) Whaat the helll he knowsss...Sirrr, meee...I don't want that Sirrr...I don't like himmm...want  Mr.Kapooor...Raaam (*hick)


At the same time waiter and Priya coming to Ram's table, Priya noticing Ram's condition:  -What are you doing!? Bringing him another drink!? Cant you see he's had more than enough!


Waiter:  -But Madam, Sir insisted, what could  I do...


Priya:  -You can get rid of that drink and help me to get him in his room, then I'll tell you what to bring him to drink, he needs to get sober and get some sleep now! (Priya turning to Ram now)C'mon... Sir! We need to get you to the room. Get up!


Ram, now with a smile: -Noww, now...mera Hitler biwi...now, just don't yelll at meee...

Priya taken aback little with this words, while the waiter laughs (Hahahaha):  -Madam, he is so drunk that he thinks you are his wife, and probably his wife is a real mean one hence he calls her Hitler biwi (He laughs again).


Priya now widely irritated: -Ow shut up now, what do you know about his wife and how dare you speak like that and laugh!


Waiter: -Ssorry Madam... (to him self) I better stop because this one for sure resembles his wife, poor guy...


Priya: -You saying something!?


Waiter:  -No Madam, well just that he can walk with little help, otherwise it would be difficult to carry him to his room...


Priya:  -That's it, just shut up and walk, no more talk!


Reaching to the room, Priya saying to the waiter to go, and that she can handle from now on. The waiter giving some suspicious look, but gone happy he didn't had to deal with drunk guest anymore. While Priya was locking the door, Ram came close behind her, she turning in hurry bumped in to him, instinct drove her hands on his chests. For a moment little fear from bumping, but when eyes met the time stopped. Both probably didn't figure out how long they were standing like that. Ram came out of it mumbling still:  -Are youu trying to rrun me over...orrr was it earthquick something...


Priya opened her eyes widely on this words and replied: -Even with the amount of alcohol you have in you I cant move you, hardly that can happen! Rather that earthquick will (to her self) but then I worry where I'll end up! (continue to him) Now lets get this jacket off you while you still stand and get you to bed (Priya started struggling to get the jacket off him, with no help from him at all. Ram was just standing there, giving her sweet smiled half looks. She couldn't resist not to smile, the lip corner one, and think how cute his looks were, even under the influence of alcohol per her.)


Priya's gently voice now:  -Mr.Kapoor, will you at least help me with this...


Ram: -Wwhy.. you're  doing juust fine, see aalmost done (Again his cute smiles appeared) Now, what's next..hmm, I know...mera shirt da buttons... I cant do them aloneee, armmm,  you are good with them as I rememmmber  (all smile)


Priya:   -Mr.Kapoor! What...


Ram cutting her words:  -C'mon Priyaa, I know you want to...ermm, help me, I need you to, see(Ram showing like he cant open his buttons. Priya slowly comes in front of him and starts helping him with the buttons. She starts blushing, while Ram slowly moved his palm over her shoulder releasing her hear. A tress of hair falls over her eyes, he slowly moved one finger towards her forehead and start moving the tress behind her ear. Feeling his touch Priya just closes her eyes, but for a moment, and then tried to be calm. Moved away from him and went to get him his night kurta)


Ram:   -Why you bring that, don't need it...all I need is you Priya...all I need... (and started walking towards her. Priya going step by step backwards, didn't know how to react, little confused, barely mumbled something like stop Ram, what are you doing, but Ram not hearing anything, just moving towards her, Priya closing her eyes... Next moment she found her self on bed, but couldn't move, her arm was under Mr.Kapoor and there was no way for her to pull it off. Ram already started his night song aka kharrate. She looked at his golu face, thinking, gosh how I missed this Mr.Kapoor, how I missed you, just being there beside me, feeling your closeness... Then she thought, stop it Priya, just stop it, you two are a part now, you cant think like that now...but it's too difficult. OMG I cant get up, what will I tell him in morning? What will he think? How will I explain this? Will he remember even what happened? Damn it Priya, nothing happened, but will he believe that?...Her thoughts were making a mess in her head, but the moment came when she finally give in and fall a sleep.)


Morning. Priya waking up well tucked in bed. It took her few moments to figure out where she is and last night's happening. She searched for Ram in the room with her eyes, but he was not there. Then she remembered them falling on the corner of the bed, but now she was in middle. Uff, she thought, he must have moved me, but how I didn't felt that...The door quietly opened, Ram's head peeping in:  -Oh, you are up...(He turned his head and said to someone) I'll take it from here, you may go (opened the door widely and pushed breakfast go-cart in the room, filled with all kind of fruits, orange juice, coffee and a rose. He picked the rose and set down on one corner on the bed. He smiled looking at the rose, then looked at Priya and stretched his hand to her with the rose. Confused Priya on his reaction mumbled:  -Mr.Kapoor, kya hai...


Ram:  -A rose, beautiful flower...and that is our breakfast, didn't wanted to disturb you so went down and got it myself! You were so... (and he just smiled, like he wanted to say something else, but...)tired, probably from last night (now saying this with cheeky smile) and...


Priya just barge in, getting up from bed:   -Wait a minute! Wait a minute! Nothing happened last night here, you were drunk and you probably don't remember!


Ram:   -Yes, I did had few drinks, but...


Priya:   -Few!? You were completely drunk, nothing happened...


Ram:  -I heard you the first time, and could you keep your voice little down? My head is gonna explode and I don't have any more pills...BTW, what are you doing in my bed if nothing happened? Why were your earrings on the bed and not on cupboard where you usually leave them? And my shirt...


Priya:   -Because you fell on me! I couldn't move so had to stay here! Couldn't reach the cupboard too obviously, could I!?


Ram:   -So you say I was on you, you couldn't move, my jacket and shirt just disappeared...


Priya:  -No, I got them off you... (and stopped realizing how it sounded what she just said)


Ram:  -You admit you took my clothes off, but...


Priya:  -Not all clothes, just...and how could you think something happened...


Ram:  -Why shouldn't I think that Priya!? And why shouldn't something happened!? (Now Ram sounded clearly hurt...) You know what, just forget it, forget all this and this night too. Now get your breakfast, I'm not hungry. (The pain in his voice Priya felt it very clearly too. She was just standing there, not knowing how to ease up the pain she felted in her hubby's voice. While she was thinking he was staring in the rose that was still in his hand. A drop of blood appeared on his finger. He calmly spoke looking at the rose)So beautiful flower, it can enchant you with it's beauty and take you to magic place, but then it can hurt you and bring you to reality in a second with it's thorns...  (Saying that, he moved to get out, but after one step he stopped and faced Priya, looking her straight in her eyes) Ek question, sirf ek and just Yes or No answer, that's all I want now. You say nothing happened. Fine, OK, I believe you, now my question is: Do you wish something happened last night between us..or not? Yes or No?


Priya opened little her mouth, but not a sound came out. Looking in his eyes she wanted to say a lot more than Yes or No, but a lump in her throat didn't allowed her...Ram with disappointed look in his eyes, just nodded his head, lowered it down and stepped away to the door, passing by Priya.  A palm stopped him, a palm laid down on his heart stopped him...

LovingRaYa thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
super good
tali ram is also worth to watch with priya
loved it he is hurt but she stoped him
anupam_dil thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
are rukhe kyu aur likho na...beech mei atka diya😭 kitna interest se pad rahi thi...huh..
nice update...plz aur ek part likhiye na iski...
luvbalh thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
y u stopped .. whats her ans? 
budu's like me cant get continue plz

luvsakshi thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
Good one eli
loved the part ..
 so loved to see drunk Ram habdling by hitler biwi πŸ˜†
BombayPonnu thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
ain't this one supposed to continue?? Would love to read more from you! Awesome os!