Baldev and Gunjan's dysfunctional sibling relationship

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Posted: 10 years ago
#1
I have been watching Veera since Day 1 and though I am not really much of a forum poster I thought it may be interesting to hear on this topic from other people. For a while now I've been observing the increasingly disturbing contrast between Ranvi/Veera vs Baldev/Gunjan's sibling relationship. It's not that this contrast hasn't always been there but earlier when they were kids this relationship contrast meant more simple things - like annoying vs supportive, indifferent vs loving, whereas post-leap this contrast has taken on a more disturbing character - that of empowerment vs gender discrimination and blatant sexism, and I am wondering if other people have noticed the same or not?

I'll start by first talking about Ranvi. Ranvi has ALWAYS stood up for his sister no matter WHAT the situation. Standing up for her takes different forms ofcourse:

1. With his mother standing up for Veera's rights involved silently disapproving & hurtful stares, steamrolling through Ratan's hesitation in returning Veera's physical demonstrations of affection, and sometimes even judging his mother harshly and showing his disgust without realising Ratan's own (very understandable!) emotional turmoil;
2. With the other pindwaale Ranvi stood up for Veera to such an extent in his childhood that Veera's so called "taboo" origins itself have been wiped clean in their minds because of his pure selfless devotion to his sister! A gaon that gets scandalised by A MERE HUG can accept the illegitimate Veera wholeheartedly ONLY because Ranvi paved the way for her by proving to them that love and insaaniyat should never have any per-requisites attached to them - you don't need to be of a certain gender or a certain caste or from a certain background to qualify for love or insaaniyat!
3. When it comes to Baldev Ranvi has learnt to stand up for his sister in an aggressive manner because since childhood Baldev has left no stone unturned in hassling his sister... to the extent that he was even going to tell her the truth about her origins at one point. So his hackles are always raised even now when he suspects Baldev of seeking to harm Veera. That said Veera has always shown herself more than capable of handling and overturning Baldev's plans and pranks so while Ranvi warns off Baldev he doesn't ever feel the need to impose any restrictions on Veera socialising with him or vice versa. He only steps in when he thinks he needs to intervene.

...and these are just 3 examples, there are many many more where Ranvi has treated Veera with care, respect, affection, trust and everything good. And why not, after all the whole foundation of the show has been this "anokhi maa ka pyaar" for the past 200 episodes.

Now viewers of pre-leap Veera will know already that in contrast to all of Ranvi's devoted care for Veera we have always been shown Baldev's irritation of his sister Gunjan - usually because he would get scolded by their father while she was pampered by him (but then it was the opposite case with their mother), or because she was friends with Ranvi and Veera, his "rivals".

Post-leap we have seen a quite different Baldev and Gunjan - while Baldev has been modeled into a 'cool' bad boy that fangirls can fall for, Gunjan has been modeled into the annoyingly flawed female to be paired up with the silent sufferer types Ranvi. 

I understand that when there are youthful characters involved shipping is inevitable and the serial makers love to write in storylines that are all about the ship. Maybe it's just because I'm an unhappy viewer post-leap but it's been really weird for me to see the kids I have come to "know" transforming into adults I barely recognise, but chalo koi nahin, hota hai, hota hai - we never saw the intervening years and after all no one can remain the same. And even though I can't help but feel that some of the character "differences" (esp in Baldev & Gunjan) seem less organic and more contrived for the purposes of future romantic plotting I continue to watch the show maybe out of habit, maybe because I'm waiting for the same spark of amazing writing from before to return, or whatever.

But my main problem with the show currently though is that while everyone seems to be falling hook, line and sinker for the so obviously set-up VeeBa romance and are really enjoying 'bad boy Baldev' why is no one seriously disturbed by the dysfunctional relationship he shares with his sister? There's a consistently observable discrimination in the manner in which he treats his sister to the way he treats his 'rival'/'love interest'. Everyone's discussed how utterly messed up in the head Gunjan is now but what about how much of a wake up call Baldev needs? And by that I don't mean a romantic wake up call - I mean a severe reality check about his familial obligations!


The kid Baldev I would describe as shaitaani baccha, bit of a dolt and over-pampered but when I see this older Baldev the only word that resonates is "hypocrite!" - someone who professes to have certain beliefs but acts opposite to them. This hypocrisy is not intentionally malicious but stems more out of a lack of self-awareness, but nonetheless it is present and I haven't run into many (or any?) threads that have commented on it which is what I find surprising. The biggest example of Baldev's hypocrisy lies in the difference in how he treats Gunjan vs Veera post-leap. While Gunjan is seen by Baldev as "ghar ki izzat" who needs to conform to the restricted norms of society Veera is seen by him as "pind di sherni" who he may tease for her eccentricities but there's no denying that those same qualities of living by her own rules are what he finds attractive. Why the different rules for sister vs potential object of affection huh?

When Veera was caught hugging Karan on a rooftop alone by the entire pind Ranvi didn't even need any explanation before unhesitatingly standing up for HIS sister, even though the other guy is someone he doesn't trust yet. But when Gunjan was caught hugging Ranvi in a van in an almost similar situation - with a moral police mob going off in a huff to investigate immoral behaviour - somehow the situation works outs differently. Because Baldev's first instinct is not stemming from confident trust in his sister but rather from a defensive need to "protect" her/his family's izzat. Why not ask your crying sister why she is so rattled rather than acting on your own irrational conclusions that are subconsciously stemming from a longstanding childhood grudge and societal conditioning to feel shamed at your "ghar ki izzat" being found in a compromising situation? 

At least in that particular instance I can "understand" Baldev's hypocritical reaction because I can see that he has been conditioned by the patriarchal thinking of our society to act in this manner. On the other hand the manner in which he acted during the whole NRI shaadi fiasco has no excuses other than his own personal bias. When he first hears of Veera and Karan investigating the NRI guy his "protective instincts" flare up and he goes off to ugalvaao the sach from Surjeet. But soon after he is convinced by Surjeet and his mother Bansuri that it is Veera's jealousy that is the real obstacle to the marriage rather than the character of the groom. So off he goes to prevent Veera from attending the shaadi. But still the shaadi gets roko'ed. Gunjan then does her whole revenge plotting, also convinced by her mom's brainwashing that Veera and Ranvi are culprits. And Baldev is glad that his sister was only playing with Ranvi's feelings rather than reciprocating them.

Now if Baldev, like Gunjan, believes that both Veera and Ranvi are culprits then should Baldev not be more offended by Veera rather than concerned for her bhalaai and mooning all over her. He says he found Gunjan's backstabbing of Veera by revealing the truth of her origins disgusting...well shouldn't he apply the same rules to Veera who, technically from his and his sister's perspective at least, backstabbed them to break Gunjan's wedding up? And IF he thinks Veera and Ranvi did NO backstabbing whatsoever then should he not be taking the time to tell his sister this so she doesn't feel betrayed by the only friends she ever had rather than feeling relieved that his sister just alienated the one decent guy in the pind who likes her but who he can't stand because all his life he has been compared to him.

Basically I find Baldev to be a TERRIBLE brother. Every decision he makes is from his perspective:
1. Gunjan should reject Ranvi because he has an irrational dislike for the guy
2. Gunjan should not act in a movie because this is not "seemly" thing for his sister (implied rather than stated explicitly) while he can act in a play called "Heer Ranjha" opposite Veera because, well, he's a guy and the rules don't apply to his object of affection Veera
3. Veera can drive him and he can drive Veera but god forbid if he had ever caught Ranvi teaching Gunjan I bet you 100% he would have lost the plot at his sister.
4. Veera can break up Gunjan's marriage because of "jealousy" or "because her brother loved Gunjan" (not that she did, but he, his mother and his sister thought this at least) and this backstabbing is acceptable but Gunjan cannot backstab Veera by breaking up her family as retaliation
4. He has every right to constantly get in Veera's way to chidhaao her but Ranvi has no rights to walk up to his house and respectfully with full tradition ask for his sister's hand in marriage.
5. Gunjan has no rights to freely say yes to someone who asks for her hand in marriage (instead she must be locked up in a room to prevent this occurrence) but he is allowed to have feelings for Veera or rather, as he justifies it to himself in his head, Veera's feelings for him should not be rebuffed because it's not good to break the heart of someone who is about leave the pind.

Arre hypocrisy chodo the guy has never even bothered to stand up against his mother for constantly scolding/nagging/jhaadoing his sister even now that he is grown up and realises that this is both annoying and disagreeable. If he no longer takes pleasure in it (unlike when he was a kid) then why not ask his mother to stop!

And leave that, the guy barely even took the time to talk to his sister after her marriage and dreams broke, unlike Ranvi who was deeply affected by Veera's break up with Karan and did everything he could to help her get through that difficult time. Instead the next time he deigns to pay any attention to Gunjan is when she challenges his ghar ki maryaada by being seen late at night with another guy!

Ridiculous how Baldev is constantly judging Ranvi when he knows for a fact that throughout Gunjan's childhood Ranvi has been far kinder to Gunjan than Baldev himself has ever been.

BTW, I realise in this post I am putting the onus on Baldev to sort this dysfunctional stuff out but that's because I don't think Gunjan is in any position to do it herself. She spent her childhood trying to get into her mom and brother's good books and neither of them gave a stuff about her and Bansuri is not about to change now so if anything it is now up to Baldev to realise how much damage has been done by his utter indifference to his sister's well being. Gunjan has too many self-esteem issues because of her childhood and thus is not going to become aware of how to sort out/get past her flaws any time soon whereas it is high time that Baldev now learns a thing or two about the kind of privileges that come for granted just because you are born male and what kind of 'maryada' and 'subservience' type burdens society (and males like him) place on females (even if they don't realise they are doing it!)


SO, What I would really, really appreciate in this show is if we actually get to see Gunjan and Baldev's dysfunctional relationship being properly addressed by the writers. We've seen how Ranvi and Veera's sibling relationship blossomed and it was wonderful. I would now really love to see how Gunjan and Baldev, against all odds (including crappy parents who only know how to show favouritism), manage to get out of their dysfunctional rut and develop a more healthy and mutually respectful and caring sibling relationship. (No, Baldev getting Gunjan an expensive gift for her birthday or "protecting" her from Ranvi by getting violent and aggressive does not count.)

What do you think?

Edited by parul2999 - 10 years ago

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shahz thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#2
πŸ‘ Very well said...I actually read through each and every word you wrote and i totally agree with you.
pluviophile. thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#3
First of all, Ranvi and Baldev are totally different characters. Baldev is grey-shaded not purely white. I agree with your post but to an extent. The CVs have never showed us Baldev's side of story really but there was some scenes that were left that I would have liked to see.. like him apologizing to Veera for misunderstanding her. I think he himself knows that Veera is right but would never admit to it. What Gunjan did was absolutely WRONG.. She revealed something that was never her place to do so. That is why he perceives her as wrong and the reason behind his current behavior. Baldev and his ''Object of affection'' have always had the same equation from childhood. He treats her like an equal because he has reasons to do so.. She's educated, Can stand up for herself. Which Gunjan is not and can never stand up for herself. her biggest example is her past. One of the reasons Baldev treats Veera as she is because they have always had this equation from childhood. I feel Baldev behaves like he does is because he's from a Pind.. Where a girl is called a 'Family's Izzat,' just because Ranvi let's his sister roam freely with a Guy doesn't mean Baldev should resort to the same.Edited by ..Tamanna - 10 years ago
NamuVyas thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#4
i love ur post.. its amazing the amount of thinking u have put into it..

somthings from my side as well abt gundev...

as u said rightly baldev has been a hypocrite grown up.. but lets face it his life is also been messed by his parents.. father who doesnt trust him and bansuri who is still pampering him and not moulding him to stand on his own feet and earn etc... as a kid he always mistreated gunjan.. she has gone through a lot from him and her mother and her father never noticed these things or tried to correct baldev or support her.. so she sees her father as a spineless man and brother she cant rely upon and mother whose love she craved as kid has now become more of a challenge rather than anything else.. and all put together has made her obsessive and OTT vulnerable... baldev has a fair share of turbulations within him which needs to be addressed.. 

coming to the same with ranveera.. ranvi clearly learnt how to handle all the women in his life since childhood..  so even now he connects with all the women.. hence also with gunjan.. although her of late behaviour is hurting him and leaving him unconcerned about her.. but then he probbaly with his experience is better off dealing with her psychologically than anyone else as of now..
baldev also knows how ranvi is but his fathers constant comparisons with ranvi has created a hatred towards him.. and his alliance with veera will bring about that much needed change in him making him more responsible and sensible with situations..
i think with time if he sees gunjans change and happiness, he will start respecting ranvi more.. afterall he might also marry veera some day and will have to treat her as well... 


i am sure some point in the show the makers might give us an emotional showdown of baldev gunjan and knowing what amazing actors there two are we might get a memorable scene between them.. but ofcourse not very soon surely

Prii.. thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#5
Baldev and Gunjan's relationship has been portrayed  one sided post leap. Its Baldev who has shown more affection for her. Gunjan just resorts to blackmailing him for petty things.
Baldev is extremely protective of women in general. Plus he is from a Pind setup. So guys from rural areas are quite old school in their ideas when it comes to letting girls act in a movie. He is hot headed too. Thus we see such reactions from him.
Even Ranvi has told Gunjan that a dupatta is a girls izzat, but he lets his sister wear modern clothes.
Ranvi too jumps to conclusions when Baldev accuses Veera of something and immediately stops him. I know this has been their equation from childhood. So its quite understandable. Ranvi almost always stands up for Veera in public only when Baldev accuses her. Otherwise he is always silent. With Ratan it is a different case, I agree.
Veera and Baldev are bound to each other even in animosity. He does not yet recognize his growing attraction towards the girl. Hence he doesn't realize what he is upto. But even then his first priority has always been Veera's safety, be it accompanying her to the jungle or saving her from the gundas.
I was also a viewer of the show pre leap. Post leap I quit the show because it did not hold my interest. But came back only for Baldev/ Veeba.  His character is etched out really well. And that is what excites me the most in this show. Veeba falling in love with each other is what I am looking forward to.😳
Edited by lizaries - 10 years ago
.GrangerMalfoy. thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#6
I completely and totally agree with all your points except where you call Baldev a hypocrite. I don't see that.

He behaves the same with Gunjan and Veera. He disliked Veera going out at night, hugging Karan etc. And there are many other instances. He's right or wrong in thinking such things is another matter but he's definitely NOT a hypocrite.Edited by ASRaddictKKG - 10 years ago
elsa123 thumbnail
Posted: 10 years ago
#7
Well, I'm new to this series and I've tried to watch the initial episodes to understand the story better. I'm a neutral viewer and a silent reader. Coming to your post, i agree with you. I must say, you have expressed perfectly the actual relationship between these two, which has forced me to log in and like/reply to your post.
Baldev has got some major double standards issues and yes, even the word hypocrite resonated in my mind at some occasions.
Vinder90 thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#8
I salute to your courage and depth of the argument, and I totally agree with every single point made. . . a very well written, cohesive piece of writing, very very detailed, and conclusive. . . covered everything that has been rattling in my brain also, 
job well done!! FANTASTIC!! πŸ‘ 

Hopefully once whatevers upcoming is over, can lead to some character focus on Baldev as well. . . . Gunjan is in the right hands anyways, so I am least worried about her. .. frankly speaking, 0 expectations. . . there is a lot more to be explored with Baldev, he is like most neglected "secondary" lead of the show. . wonder if CVs will ever move beyond the current side of his. . and get him to put into practice what he preaches πŸ˜†
Prii.. thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#9
^^ He practices what he preaches without a doubt. His actions and words always are in sync. But I agree on the focus part. They have to throw some light on his life. I love him the way he is😳
FarhaadkiMahi thumbnail
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Posted: 10 years ago
#10
frist take a bow for this post
i agree with ur every point
i must say gundev relation is more realistic than ranveera.
its our reflection of our sociaty
bhai kisi ki bhi bahan ke sath ghum sakte hai but bahan ko kisi ke sath badarsat nahi kar sakte .
i love to see gundev relationship more than ranveera hope cvs so that