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Hi Napster. So, first up, a confession. I've been reading bits and parts of your RR stuff for a while, silently. I don't really watch or enjoy the show, and didn't want to step back into that puddle of expectations again which reading FFs seems to bring. But can't help reading stuff when I see familiar names like yours now, can I? Even though I'm petty enough about the show to not comment. So, apologies for that.
That said, reading this last bit about Laila...it shamed and compelled me to leave something here. Your writing has always been moving and powerful, and when there's an (unconventional by desi TV standards) character like Laila waiting to be brought to life, I had some high expectations. And this is such a stunning piece of work.
There are so many kinds of love in the world, and so many kinds of loving. For some, love is momentary, and for others, it manifests itself in an unshakeable lifelong devotion. Does that make the momentary love lesser than the other? I don't know. In many ways, the perception of love is similar to the perception of truth. I do not doubt Laila's love and devotion for Rudra one bit, wouldn't have even if you hadn't put in that heartbreaking bit about her reaction to the news of the babies.. Not having seen the show much, going solely by your description of it, I understand she has effectively been the only female in his life for a long time. She has honoured the promises he didn't even know existed between them, and for that, one can't but help respect Laila. But, is that a truthful relationship? For me, no. Laila hid her own heart so she could keep him longer, and perhaps therein lies her failure, and the space for someone like Paro to come in. It is such a human thing to do, but a man as damaged as Rudra needs a love he can worship (as is evident from his "devotion" to Paro), not the partner that Laila was to him. And Laila, such is her bitter fate, will never be worshipped.
One of the things I loved about this bit was that you gave us both Laila's and Aman's versions of these eight years. It was ironical, and beautifully highlighted the hypocrisy of man and society. Also, human memories, such fickle things they are. Aman chooses to remember the past in a way which makes him most comfortable, in which he can reconcile it with his bone-deep respect for his commanding officer and his love for his muhboli sister. Thus, for him, Rudra's relationship with Laila is that of a benevolent benefactor. Laila's true bravery lies in that she is completely honest even in her own memories; hides nothing, shies away from nothing.
And finally, ( I really will stop blabbering here, promise!) Rudra's feelings for Laila. Were they, were they not, that is the question. For me, the point itself is moot. Laila's Rudra is not Paro's Rudra, and vice versa. It seems like a rather lame cop-out when put like that, but for me, that is the man. His ability to give himself wholeheartedly to Paro stems from his ability to wholeheartedly (and callously) cut himself off from Laila. What is immensely admirable about him in one relationship is equally abhorrent in the other. Is it good or honourable or just? Of course not. But it is this essential dichotomy, outside any fair moral compass, which makes Rudra, Rudra. Or at least your version of him. It does not make me like the man one bit, but it does make him interesting.
Oh, and did I say, thank you for writing this?
Edited by StripePurple - 10 years ago
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