By the looks of the pain and hurt in his eyes was telling her that he might knew it.
If he knew about her and Shoraya's relationship then Arnav's inscrutable behaviour towards her made sense in every possible way.
When Khushi was thinking about it, Arnav spoke clearing all her doubts.
"If your husband touches, it hurts you and if that Shoraya touches you, it gives you happiness!" he shouted as he pushed her back furiously, that she almost tripped, but she regained the balance immediately.
Her breath caught in her throat and she felt suffocated.
"What happen, MRS. KHUSHI RAIZADA!?" he said bitterly. "On our wedding anniversary I came late you were so angry. What about when on your birthday you were late!? What about my party that I had organized for you!? Where were you that day!?" he asked the question one after the other. And Khushi could do nothing, but stare at him in shock.
"When I asked why were you late!? You told me your ma was sick. A lie! That was a big fat lie. You went to the person whom you loved or to be precise you still love him. You lied right under my nose. You lied every time to me whenever you went to meet him."
"Arnav ji, please let me explain everything."
"Stop it Khushi, I am tired of those lies of yours. I am not ready for the another. I am tired listening to your lies that sounded so true that time when I didn't know my wife doesn't love me, but someone else."
He shouted every word, but the pain in his voice only grew, that wrenched Khushi's heart.
Arnav knew everything about her and her boyfriend.
"Whenever I tried to touch you, you only took step back. I thought you needed a space. You aren't yet comfortable with me. I didn't mind. I gave you the space you needed. But no how didn't this thought provoked in my mind that my wife could love someone else!" he shouted.
"Arnav ji, I was going to tell you about me and Shoraya..."
"Then why didn't you, you wanted to keep in dark. And make fun of me and my love and hurt me!?"
"No, Arnav ji. I never wanted to hurt you."
"You tell me did anyone force you into this marriage!? Did your parents forced you!? At least you should have came to me and told me I should have happily stepped back. But what did you get!?"
"You have left me of no where Khushi! Of no where."
"Arnav ji, I don't deny that me and Shoraya were seeing each other, but Arnav ji he was my past!"
"Past!? Damn it, after the marriage you were seeing him!" he snapped.
"Yes, I use to meet him because..."
"Because you still love him and he still loves you! And I am no where in the picture!"
"Arnav ji, no...I don't know if I loved him or not. But I am sure that I love you. Yes, I agree that I went to meet him, but only for the sake of friendship!"
Arnav laughed as he was told a joke and clapped his hands in a mock.
"Khushi you are so funny, at least don't make deny the fact that you still love Shoraya. Don't make fun of your love as you did mine!"
"No, Arnav ji! I am not making joke of my love. Arnav ji, I only love you. I never told you about mine and Shoraya's relationship because I didn't think it matter!"
"Well, at least you accepted you were in relationship!" he snapped.
She came forward, close to him and flattened her hands on his chest.
"Arnav ji, believe me I only love you. You are my husband!"
"I never wanted to marry you, but as we spent time together, I fell in love with you. I was always afraid of loosing you, that's the only reason I couldn't tell you. I know I should have because if you knew it from me, you wouldn't be hurt."
Arnav took both of her wrists and only pushed her back as he shook his head.
There was a silence for a while, as Khushi looked at him seeing the love replaced by hurt and anger.
"You haven't hurt me at all, because I have completely erased you from my life," he said, so easily as he indeed thought and erased her from his life.
Now Khushi was shaking her head as she was trying to woke herself from a bad dream.
"Please Arnav ji," she yelled. But he didn't listen her. And she fell on the ground crying.
She realized that by not telling Arnav the truth of her and Shoraya she had created only problems between them. She had ruined her married life. He trusted her and she broke that faith.
She didn't know how would she get his trust back.
On his way back inside the house, Arnav grabbed the bottles of alcohol from his car. Even they weren't allowed to drink at home, and Arnav actually never drank, but today he didn't care, he needed it. And right now he felt the amount of alcohol that he had consumed before wasn't enough to an extent where he could forget his wife was a cheater.
And when Khushi reached in her room, Arnav had already consumed three bottles of alcohol.
He was sitting on the floor. His eyes red with anger as well as pain. Tears were flowing down his eyes. This broken, Khushi never had seen him and never expected him to be.
She immediately went to him, "Arnav ji, what are you doing!?" she said and tried to take the bottle from
his hand, but he only pushed her away from him.
"Arnav ji, please don't hurt yourself."
Khushi sat back up. "You can give me punishment, but please don't hurt yourself! Don't drink Arnav ji!"
He squinted his eyes to look at her through his teary eyes.
"Why!? Why do you want me to not to drink!? So that I think of you and your lover. Don't you want me to forget for a while that I was deceived!?"
"No, Arnav ji. I want you to punish me. I want you to hurt me in any way, but not by hurting yourself. Arnav ji, I can't see you in pain!"
"Then it's even better!" he said and broke the bottle of whiskey.
And cut himself in his hand, not once or twice time, but four times at the same place.
Khushi gasped and looked at him in shock. She took the piece of glass from him and threw it away. His palm was bleeding as blood oozed out of it non stop. She screamed his name.
"Arnav ji, what have you done!?" she cried.
"I loved you and you hurt me Khushi," was his last word before he collapsed.
"Arnav ji," she shouted. And patted his cheek. "Arnav ji, please open your eyes! Please, don't give me this big punishment!"
She immediately went to her cupboard and slide opened the door. She took the first aid box and fell back to his side and dressed his wound.
"I am sorry, Arnav ji! How shall I make you believe that I only love you! Nobody else!" she sobbed and collapsed on his shoulder crying.
"How could I make you believe that you were the one who made me forget that before you anybody else existed in my life!? How could I tell you that I fell in love with you when I thought we can't be together in anyways. Arnav ji, I love you! I can bear any pain, but you getting hurt I can't!"
"Hurt me, but not yourself!" she whimpered.
Her sobs raked her soul.
"I only love you..." she said again and again...and when she had no energy left in her, she slept in the same position, her head rested on his shoulder and her arm around him. Even though it was an uncomfortable position, she seemed not to notice it.
***
In the morning, when Khushi woke up she found herself lying on the bed. She quickly got up and looked around and she didn't find Arnav.
She could hear the noise of the shower, that concluded he was in the washroom.
But as far as she remembered she had slept on the floor with Arnav.
So, it means Arnav had laid her on the bed, she thought.
She got up the bed and quickly cleaned the room and had Arnav's clothes ready.
As Arnav came out of the washroom, she said, "Arnav ji, I have kept your clothes wear them and I get your tea!"
Arnav didn't care what she said and took another set of his three piece suit, looking at her.
"Okay, you want to wear them. I get tea for you!" she said and waited if he could say something to her. But no he hadn't.
His silence was worse and she couldn't tolerate it.
"Arnav ji, how is your wound!?" she again tried to talk to him. "Come I first do the dressing!"
He got ready and simply left, leaving her in tears.
***
To win lost love is not easy. Since, it was worth winning back, Khushi was going to do whatever, it would take her.
Because she realized, it was her punishment, and if she deserves him and his love she will surely get him back.
***
At the breakfast table, one more surprise from family waited for Arnav, Khushi. Family had decided to send both of them on their second honeymoon.
As far as, honeymoon, was concerned, it was the family's way to convey their message that they want another kid in their house.
"I really don't think your wish will ever be fulfilled!" Arnav's remark surely made everyone raised their eyebrows. "Because my wife..." he said,
"is already pregnant!?" NK said as he excitedly jumped in his seat.
"Not really!" Arnav answered looking at Khushi.
"Please Arnav don't say no," Akaash said. "This is the anniversary gift from us to you and Khushi!"
"Jiju, I think we will go later."
"See, I told you!" Arnav snapped.
"Common Khushi, chote, ruined everything last night! So we all decided you should go out!"
"No, di Arnav ji didn't ruin anything," Khushi said in her mind. "It's me who ruined everything!"
"Arnav ji, I think we should go to Shimla!" Khushi said and later Arnav had to agree not because Khushi said yes, but for the family.
***
Two days later, Arnav and Khushi had reached Shimla for their honeymoon. It did no good to Khushi. She thought if they will be out, they could spend some time together and she might make him understand.
Spending some time together was a far thing when Khushi didn't even able to talk to Arnav. Why!? Because family had forgotten to send Arnav and Khushi to a place where no AR empire existed, but in Shimla there were two AR companies.
More Khushi was trying to come near to Arnav to talk to him, more he was distancing himself.
And irony in the current situation was, few months ago, when Arnav was trying to narrow the distance between themselves, Khushi wasn't comfortable.
And now if she tried talking to him, he won't say a word. Doesn't matter how important matter it was.
***
For next two days, of their honeymoon Arnav hardly showed up at the hotel. Khushi could only see him in the morning, and at nights he would come late when Khushi had no more capacity to stay up.
~~~~~~~TO BE CONTINUED~~~~~~
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