Chapter 1 Disclaimer Applies
Chapter 8
*Meanwhile In the Devi Maa Mandhir near Amer*
'Shaguni Bai!' Rani Mainavati was inconsolable. 'Aap ne toh kaha tha ke humari Jodha maharani banegi! Aaj usiki pati use zinda jalane wale hain!' Shaguni Bai stopped her mantra and looked at Mainavati with her all-encompassing eyes. The was an aura of authority around her. Uske hothon pe hamesha Saraswathi basti thi. Her gait may have been awkward but her wisdom could never be doubted. 'Aap Devi Maa par bharosa rakiye Ranisa!' Her deep voice boomed in the hollow crevices of the stone temple, while the statue of Devi Maa stood proudly and comfortingly over Mainavati. 'Jodha ki agnipariksha hai, lekin sirf yeh Johar uski agnipariksha nahin hain, uske zindagi ki rekhaen bohot lambi hai Ranisa! Agar Devi Maa aaj usse aason de rahi hai, toh kal, usse muskurana bhi sikhadegi. Usse bohot katin raaste pe chal kar is yudh ki sabse shaktishali mohobbat ko paayegi! Jis Shehensha ne usse aaj marne ki dhamki di hai, kal woh ehsaas hoga ki woh tumhaari beti Jodha ke bina nahin jee paayega! Sub Devi Maa pe chordijiye! Jai Maa Kali!'
Her words acted like a soothing balm on Rani Mainavati's wounds. Anyone else would have thought... This is ridiculous! They must have already lit the pyre! But Mainavati know the power of Shaguni Bai's predictions and Devi Maa's powers... She decided to return to Amer where she would pray the rest of the night for her children's safety.
Mainavati had only gotten to know about her children's death sentence the night before... Raja Bharmal had known that Jalal's decision could not be swayed and he hadn't wanted to inform her so early... Besides, he had wanted to go to Agra himself to stop what was happening but Bhagwan Das had made him swear on his life that he would not dishonour the Rajputs by coming and begging for his children's lives. Nahin Bapusa... His letter had said... Aap humare vanch aur humare aan baan aur shaan ko koi aanch nahin aane de saktha. Aap humare kasam hai Bapusa, Aap yahan Agra mein aakar humare jaan ke liye bheek kabhi nahin mangenge'... And with that, Bhagwan Das had rendered his father helpless... But he was still a Rajput and he could not be more proud of every single one of his children... They preferred to die than beg like cowards and Raja Bharmal had complete faith that Devi Maa would not let anything happen to them... And he was not wrong...
*Agra*
She's strong because she knows what it's like to feel weak... She keeps guard because she knows what it's like to cry herself to sleep...' - Anonymous
That morning, after the Harem guards had brought her clothes and the hakim had tended to her wounds, Jodha changed numbly and followed them out of Jalal's chambers. 'Shehensha ka ek niyyam hain Jodha Begum' One of the Harem guards said to her, 'Usse marne wale ki aakhri kwahish hamesha pura kartha hain' 'Toh kaha hain aapke Shehnsha?' Jodha asked, her words laced with venom. Could he not face me? Jallad! She thought. She sounded worn and defeated, even to herself. Even her hatred seemed to bow before him. He did not only violate her body last night, she felt as if he had stabbed her in her chest and watched her whole life, her dreams, her emotions and her pride seep out from that open wound while he laughed evilly and mocked her. He had even taken away her strength to hate him. She couldn't believe that the very same God, who created the heavens and the earth, who created the lush greenery and the gentle birds could create such a horrible excuse for a human being. Her eyes began to mist... No! She scolded herself, I will not shed another tear for that man... Agar aaj hume marna hai, toh izzat se jaegi. He's left me with nothing, not my pride, not my reputation, not even my bodily sanctity... But I am not guilty, and I will not act like a convict. I was born a princess of Amer, I was born a royal! If I shall die today, then so be it... But I will die as a royal as well! If not as his Begum then as a Rajput princess... Ek veer gharane ki beti!
'Humari aakhri khwaish yeh hai...' She told the Harem guards, 'ki hum aakhri baar humari Kanha ki aarthi kar sake' 'Jo hukum Begum Sahiba' they responded. They took Jodha to her chambers and left her while the guarded the door. Moti was shocked to see her... It was evident from her worn features that she hadn't stopped crying for weeks... 'Jodha!' She wailed. 'Nahin Moti... Rajput veer yodhaon ki aakhon mein aason achche nahin lagte' she tried to calm Moti... How I wish Sukanya and Shivani and Dadisa were here... I wish I could see them one last time... Jodha wondered... But she knew they'd be proud of her, and it was with this thought that she'd leave them behind with fondness. 'Kanha...' She prayed as she lit her diya... 'I have tried my best to be a good daughter, sister and wife. You are my witness that I am innocent. I ask for forgiveness for all of my wrongs, but I also I ask that you give strength to those who survive me... She closed her eyes... She had intended to this of her family and her God but suddenly a memory appeared out of nowhere... His eyes... Those haunted eyes at the Diwan-E-Khaas... His eyes as they glazed over when he had torn away at her blouse and overpowered her in his chamber. He slept on pure velvet sheets but at that point, she had felt as if she had lain on a bed of thorns. But suddenly, her body had stopped resisting as it had dawned on her that she couldn't stop him... But when he had stopped his assault, when he had frozen... She was able to look past her terror and wonder why. Then his voice, like molten caramel pierced through her terror 'what are you?' He had asked. His voice had practically hypnotised her for that second and she had to open her doe-like eyes to look into his... They had been hazy then, unfocused but then she saw him again... That lost little boy who had made an appearance at the Diwan-E-Khaas...
'Kanha I don't wish to ask anything of you for myself, I pray for my family, both in Amer and in Agra... And... For my husband...' She had said the last part softly, hesitantly... But it was loud enough for Moti to stop crying long enough to ask.. 'Are you praying for the Shehensha?!' 'No Moti! Of course not.. Woh toh insaan hi nahin hai! I was just doing my duty as a wife, I was respecting the teachings of my Rajput heritage!' Liar! Her heart mocked her. Jodha shut down all her feelings then, took Moti and an inconsolable Reva and walked out of her chambers with her Harem guards to meet her brothers and her fate...
The pyre was ready in a stone structure that would serve as her tomb... It was vast and dark... It already looks haunted... Jodha thought. At the entrance stood Jalal's ministers... Not one of whom had the courage to look the young Queen in the eye. 'Please do not blame yourselves' Jodha offered them graciously... 'We are all the mercy of God and the Shehensha... Whatever has to happen now is part of my fate... I have accepted it and so should all of you.' This is a queen... They all thought... The true queen.
This speech annoyed Ruqaiyya to no end. You'd think she's being honoured for going to war! She thought angrily. She talks with so much arrogance... How the Shehensha can even have a conversation with her is beyond me! Ruqaiyya had gotten a front row seat for the execution... She hadn't wanted to miss a second.
Hamida Bano and Bakshi Bano stood there with tears staining their porcelain cheeks. Jodha went and touched her Ammijaan's feet. That was when her Ammijaan had broken down.. 'Wait Jodha!' She had cried... 'I will speak with Jalal! I'll order him to let this go! Aap humaari bachchi hain! Please don't make your mother watch you leave us forever! Hume muaaf kardijiye Jodha! Hum apni aulaad ko theek tara se paal nahin kar sake... And now this is why his wrong decision has brought us here' She wept. 'Nahin Ammijaan!' Jodha consoled her 'Elders should never apologise. You are my mother! Aap sirf hume aashirvaad dijiye... Bhagwaan ne hume iss mor pe lakhe kadha kar diya, ab aage ka raasta woh dikhayenge.' Her maturity and respect only seemed to make Hamida weep even more... Jodha bade farewell to Bakshi Bano and Salima with pranaam and hugs... She sent pranaam to the Harem Begums and Ruqaiyya who only stood there smirking haughtily with Khwaja Shera and Maham Anga not far behind.
The last farewell was probably the hardest for Jodha... She went and sought blessings from all her brothers... They were to burn after her... After she had touched each of their feet she folded her hands and cried... 'Hume maaf kardijiye Bhaisaa! Humari pati ki vaja se aap sab ko saza paai hai, aap ka aapmaan hua aur aap ki zindagi bhi dau par lagi hai... Hum aapse maafi maagne ki alaava aur kuch nahin kar sakthi!' 'Nahin Jodha! Bhagwan Das spoke for her brothers and Maan Singh... 'Hume bohot garv mehsoos ho raha hain... Ki hum aapke bhai hai! Tumhe uss aag mein dhakelkar hume bohot kasht hoga... Par aap ek Rajput hai.. Aap humara maan rakhegi!'
(Bachpan saath mein khel kudaa... Hon bhai behen ko pyaar...)
'Begum Sahiba!' The executioner spoke to her... 'This is a special pyre... You have to walk deep inside... It may look inhumane but once you are deep inside you will understand... With no ventilation... The smoke will choke you before the fire could even touch you! It'll be like falling asleep... Peaceful... Our ministers requested me to build it this way... We can never be so cruel Begum Sahiba, to watch a queen's flesh be burnt in front of our eyes."
'Thank you' Jodha replied, 'but I fear neither death nor pain' After what the Shehensha did to me last night, this pain is nothing... She thought bitterly... But despite the promises she made to herself... Even she could not stop the lone tear as it escaped from her lashes...
Jodha had hoped that no-one would see it but Hamida had seen her eyes mist up. That was no ordinary tear...She thought... Tears like that only flow if one's heart is weeping! Hamida felt like she was looking at the most beautiful crystal vase in the world, with a small crack that it tried to hide to preserve its perfection... But try as she might... Jodha could not hide her pain from Hamida... The last thing Hamida thought as she watched her daughter entering the tomb was... What did Jalal do? Only he could have hurt her like this!
Jodha walked towards the tomb... She was walking into the dark abyss of death yet it disturbed her that Jalal entered her thoughts then... Does he not want to watch me burn? Her conscious mind thought... But a small corner of her heart, the corner that wanted to believe that deep down Jalal was a good person bled with disappointment... With a final look back... She entered the tomb...
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