She had tried, she really had. As Arti stood in front of the oil
painting she had made under Shiraz Sir's guidance, she did not see the bird or
the glowing orange sunset. Instead her mind's eye roved over the last couple of
days...
Last two days...
Vidhi and her family
were in Delhi for a few more days after Zoya's wedding. As the men, including
Pankaj, were involved in business discussions Vidhi insisted Arti join her and
the kids...and Gayatri. Arti had been hesitant, very hesitant. In her heart she had known that the more
time she spent with Ansh the more she would hurt later. But she could not deny
Vidhi...and truth be told, she did not want to deny her.
"So, what are your
plans for today?" Arti asked as she walked into Vidhi's hotel suite.
"Shopping!" screamed
a jumping Payal.
That led to raised
eyebrows - Vidhi used to hate shopping.
"Shopping?", asked Arti turning to look at Vidhi who grimaced. "Since when do
you shop Vidhi?" Arti grinned now. She and Sunaina had to drag Vidhi when it
was time to shop for clothes.
"Since I got this
little Maharani", Vidhi's grimace
turned into a scowl, which she quickly wiped off as Payal turned towards her.
"You love shopping, don't you love?" she asked, her tone suspiciously sweet to
Arti's ears.
The innocent girl
nodded excitedly. She turned back to Arti and exclaimed, "I looove shopping
Arti Maasi. It's so much fun."
"Really? And what's
so much fun about it? The shops will be crowded, busy, it will take the whole
day" said Arti, genuinely curious but also trying to dissuade the young shopper
from the Christmas crowd.
"Oh but it's going to be so beautiful. There
will be so many new things in the shops, toys, clothes, deco...deco..." she
looked at her mother questioningly, who supplied, "Decorations". Payal nodded
vigorously, "Yes deco...ra..ra...shons. And you know, the shop-keepers always
give me candy."
Arti started
laughing, "So you want to go shopping for the candy."
Payal grinned back
conspiratorially, "Well yes. But I love seeing new things, don't you Maasi? It
will be fun. And we should always look for the good side of things, hain na?"
Arti and Vidhi's
eyes met over the head of the little girl, re-living the same memory. Payal had
used the exact same words Arti used to when she would pull Vidhi out of her
room, including looking at the positive side of things. Vidhi smiled, She really is your niece she thought.
Reading her mind, Arti's face lit up with a returning smile, Yes, yes she is.
Arti caught Payal
into a tight hug, "Ok, so tell me what all you want to shop for."
The girl started
listing out, "Clothes...candy...chocolate...tiara...toys...".
Just then Ansh
crawled up and plopped down in front of them. He had been ignored long enough,
he wanted his share of attention. Arti saw him but continued to hold and talk
to Payal. She had decided she would not focus so much on him. The less she interacted directly with him,
the easier it would be to let go. But she had not accounted for the willful
Ansh.
As the two continued
talking without looking at him, Ansh took matters into his own hands. Or
rather, his own feet. He kicked out at Payal, trying to push her away.
"Owww!" Payal
protested, finally turning to look at him. "What?" she asked. He scooted
forward on his rump. "Oh no you don't!" Payal replied as she crawled quickly
into Arti's lap and sat down triumphantly, facing Ansh. He crawled right up to
them and using both his hands and feet attempted to push Payal off.
Vidhi burst out
laughing. "He is such a possessive little fellow. He reacts this way every time
Payal is in my lap too." She looked at Arti and smiled, a warm look in her
eyes. "He took to you so quickly Arti. It's like he remembers you - your voice,
your touch."
Unnoticed by any of
them, Gayatri stood at the door of her bedroom in the three-bedroom suite. The
four of them were in the central living area and Gayatri had been standing at
her door for a while observing the four. She saw how the children interacted
with Arti, saw how she mingled with them. She now decided it was time to let her
presence be known.
Knocking once on the
door she called out, "Vidhi! Are you all ready?" Then as if she just saw Arti
she added, "Arti - you are here. How are you?"
"Namaste Auntyji"
Arti said putting Payal down as she stood up.
"Namaste", Gayatri
nodded to her smiling gently. She then turned to Vidhi, "Are you ready? I would
like to get back early - before it gets dark."
"Ji, Mummyji, we are
ready" Vidhi replied, picking up the bag she had packed for the children.
The car dropped them
off at Karol Bagh market. As Vidhi started shaking out the sling for Ansh, Arti
asked her, "Can I?"
Vidhi stopped and
looked at her. "Are you sure? He can get heavy after a while." Ansh after-all
was a chubby little fellow, his round cheeks already red in the late December
cold.
Arti nodded, "You
have Payal too. Let me carry him for a while."
"Ok. But let me know
if you get tired," Vidhi cautioned.
Arti carried him in
the sling the whole day, holding his little hands, warming them with her own.
She did not realize how often she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him
close to her - it was done sub-consciously, whenever she felt Ansh getting cranky
or they saw something that seemed to excite him. She did get tired as the
afternoon wore on - she was not used to carrying a child and having a heavy
weight loaded unbalanced in the front took a toll on her back.
Gayatri noticed the
strain lines appear on her face, a pinched look taking over. She asked if she
should carry Ansh, but Arti refused, smiling through her visible tiredness.
Vidhi was busy with Payal and she was too well-mannered to let an elderly lady
like Gayatri take Ansh's weight. When they stopped for tea at a small caf,
Arti removed the sling and sat Ansh down with relief.
Gayatri called a
halt to the shopping soon afterwards. As they drove back to the hotel she asked
Arti to stay for dinner.
"Thank you Aunty,
but I am sorry, I can't" Arti replied. Truth
to tell, she was exhausted and yearned to go to bed. She had no energy left to
socialize over a dinner. She marveled at Vidhi - how did she ever find the energy
to manage her job and two children?
Realizing her words
could give offense, Arti quickly added, "Its year-end you see. And we are always
very busy at these times, even though it's not the financial year-end. I will
be leaving in a week's time, so I have to wrap up my accounts before I go." She was going to Indore for Prashant's barsi.
"I understand. Come
meet us and have dinner tomorrow night. We leave the day after." It was an
order - and Arti recognized it as such. She nodded mutely.
Arti came the next
evening after work. She was running late - but had managed to call Vidhi and
inform her of her late arrival. When she came, Vidhi introduced her formally to
her father-in-law. As Arti touched his feet, he blessed her "Khush raho".
Payal came bouncing
up to her, "Arti Maasi! You must see the pictures I took." One of her early Christmas
gifts had been a small digital camera and she had been taking pictures the
whole time the day before.
Vidhi interrupted, "Yes
Payal, but later, after dinner. Let's eat first, ok?"
Payal pouted but
brightened up when her dad reminded her of the desert - ice-cream. Gayatri
shook her head at that, smiling fondly at her grand-daughter.
Dinner had been
served in the suite itself, which had a dining table that seated six. As they
all went to the dining area, Yash came out of his room carrying Ansh. As soon
as he saw her the baby started to call out to her. Yash looked at him in surprise, not
understanding his cries. Vidhi interpreted, "Bhaiyya, I think Ansh wants to go
to Arti."
Yash went towards
Arti and immediately Ansh started straining out of his arms, reaching his own
arms out to her. With a broad smile she gathered him to her and cuddled him, "Well,
Chote Nawab, what have you been up to today?"
He gurgled back at
her happily, tucking his head into the crook of her neck. Yash had fed him, he
was clean and ready for bed. Arti felt comfortable, and circling her neck with
his arms, he cradled his head on her shoulder now, looking at his father out of
sleepy eyes.
Yash said softly, "He
is tired. He wants to sleep."
She nodded and
continued patting his back, gently lulling the sleepy baby even further towards
slumber. Yash held out his arms, but Arti shook her head, "Let him be. Don't
disturb him. I can hold him till he falls asleep," she said softly.
Arti signaled Vidhi
to take the rest in to dinner. She walked around, patting Ansh and very soon
she heard a gentle snore. A laugh bubbled up but she smothered it. Yash heard
it too and came to her. Making sure his son was really asleep, he signaled her
to follow him. Arti followed Yash into his bedroom. There was no crib and she
turned to him, eyebrows raised. He pointed to the bed and fluffed a pillow,
placing it in the centre of the bed. She very gently placed him down on the bed
and tucked a quilt around him. Then Yash placed a few pillows on both his
sides, effectively building a barrier that would cushion him from a fall. He
switched on the bedside lamp, then turning the room light off, he gently shut
the door.
A worried Arti
asked, "Will he be alright alone? Should I stay inside with him?"
Yash shook his head,
"No. He will be fine. He sleeps through the night, and if he does wake up, I will
hear his cry."
Arti nodded and the
two joined the rest for dinner. The adults had been waiting for Yash and Arti. As
Arti took a seat next to Vidhi, Suraj said, "Arti beta, thank you. We have imposed a lot on you."
Arti looked at him
in surprise, "Imposed? No, no Uncle, what are you saying? Ansh is no
imposition."
"I did not mean A..."
and Suraj coughed. Unknown to the rest, Gayatri had kicked him under the table.
Clearing his throat and taking a sip of water he continued, "I did not mean to offend
you or anything beta. You brought
Zoyaji's wedding to us and it opened up business opportunities that were just
in the back of my mind till then. And Gayatri tells me how helpful you were
with Ansh and Payal yesterday. We know only too well how exhausting those two
can be - so thanks are definitely due your way."
Arti smiled and
shook her head.
And Gayatri heaved a
silent sigh of relief. As always, her
husband had managed to save the situation. She knew what he had been about to
say - he was going to thank Arti for helping Yash overcome his grief and move
on. They had talked about it just last night too - they both, the entire family
in fact had noticed the changes in Yash after his first Delhi visit. And after
talking with Vidhi and Zoya she had a much better understanding of the role
Arti had played. However it would not do to thank her - definitely not in front
of Yash. And if she read Arti right, she would be too disconcerted if they
thanked her for helping Yash. She had been hurt and embarrassed enough by
Gayatri - she would see to it that no one in her family hurt the poor girl
further.
After dinner Payal
insisted that Arti and her grandparents see the pictures she had taken. Vidhi signaled
Arti to do so and Pankaj attached the camera to the TV in the living area. As Pankaj,
Yash and Vidhi cleared out the dining table the rest settled down to see the
pictures. Payal had clicked any and everything in sight. The four-year old's
pictures were a mish-mash - some were crystal clear while the rest were blurry
and out of focus. She had pictures of practically every shop in Karol Bagh and
the four of them - and she kept up a continuous commentary as the photos rolled
through.
A sudden silence in
the chatter caught Yash's attention. He glanced towards the TV and stilled in
shock, nearly dropping the plates he held. For a moment he saw Arpita there!
And then his vision cleared. This was one of the crystal-clear shots Payal had
taken: of Arti looking at Ansh with pure love and adoration in her eyes as she
laughed at something while holding his hands. And the baby turning his head while in the
sling and looking back at her with the same love and laughter on his face.
Yash's heart clenched
in pain - that shot should have been of
Arpita and Ansh. Involuntarily his eyes strayed towards Arti - and he saw her
face whiten in shock. Quickly leaving the plates on the table, he turned around and went into his room.
Arti nearly gasped
out loud when she saw the photo. She felt...felt
naked. As if all her pain, her longing, her love had been captured in that one
shot. She felt the blood drain out of her face, leaving her shaking.
Involuntarily her eyes went towards the room where Ansh slept - and she saw
Yash enter the room, softly closing the door behind him. Had he seen the
picture?
Present...
Arti had made her
excuses and left soon after. The photo had shaken her to the core.
Now, as she stood in
front of the painting she had made of the bird, the painting she used to remind
herself to live, she let out a soft sigh. The
Flying Phoenix - that is what she had named her painting, in honor of
the mythical bird that burned itself, being reborn out of its own ashes. She
traced the brown bird as it flew through the sky, through the streaming patch
of orange sunlight transforming into triumphant multi-colored hues and she felt
stirrings she had buried with her lost child...She had tried, she really had tried to bury her deep desire for a child
all her own. She did not know why, what it was in him but Ansh stripped away
all her layers and plunged right into the mamta she had tried to quell. With
him in her arms she felt like the phoenix being re-born...
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Hi,
Thanks for staying on this journey with me. Hope you will continue to support me here on this new thread as well.
I know this has been a long update. This one and the next don't/won't have a lot of action, but are critical to move the story along. So bear with me - the time for Arti and Yash to get married is nearing.
EDITED - corrected the bird - thanks Rutu. And now you all know my pathetic knowledge about fauna (add flora to the list).
Thanks for reading,
Kat
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