Chapter 7
Venom in
blood...
Like the evil that
surges, this venom does to,
Finally it reaches
my heart,
Killing me
instantly,
Your words like
venom,
Spread so
violently.
-Crimson Love
Shyaam lit a cigarette and comfortably settled down on
the recliner of his modestly furnished living room of his two bedroom apartment
in South Delhi. Being an amateur fashion photographer, his income was too
limited to spend on interiors and unnecessary beauty objects. He believed the
beauty of this boring apartment would increase tenfold when its rightful
mistress came.
Taking a swig of beer, he glanced about at all the photographs
that were spread around him with a look of disdain and mockery on his face, as
he laughed mentally at the pathetic excuse of a girl he called his girlfriend.
Shyaam wasn't interested in Payal in the least. Even if she was the last woman
on earth, he wouldn't have chosen her but considering the work that had to be
done, she was important.
1:30 PM the digital clocked glowed in the dull light of
the room, making him get up slowly and reach to a cabinet where he kept his
drinks and glasses. Picking up two wine glasses and setting them on the top of
the cabinet, he removed a newspaper packet out of his pocket, opened it and
tipped the contents gently into one of the glasses. Smiling at his ingenuity,
he threw the packet into a dustbin and went to prepare for the arrival of his
girl friend.
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No! NO! It just can't be!
Arnav...I know you...
NO! Just No! You know that! She can't have
gone...she can't have left me! You have misunderstood!
Arnav...all the evidences suggests towards it!
She is gone, Arnav...
I SAID NO! She had promised me! She doesn't
have the guts to break the promise she made to me! She can't have gone! I don't
believe it...
Arnav please try to understand...
No! SMASH!!!
Juice was spread
on the floor, glass was shattered. Arnav looked up to see HP standing near the
door, looking stricken. He was too exhausted to reprimand his servant; hence,
he chose to let it go. HP ran away from the room, blessing his lucky stars, and
hurried to get another glass of juice.
Arnav didn't understand what made him more miserable, his
haunting past or his over the top family. Though a tiny twinge of guilt coursed
through him, they didn't do it on
purpose! But it died away instantly, paving way for anger to take over, but they did it...they did it without giving a
thought of what impact it would have on me...that is close to being seriously
guilty! His thoughts muddled around his head, confusing him further, as a
threat deep down his heart stirred up to fight and take him down. Years of self
control threatened to go down the drain. No...He couldn't go weak. He shouldn't
go weak. He stamped it all down with his ASR attitude and sighed deeply,
convincing his mind and heart that the fight was over, it was time to call the
curtains down.
But only if life was that simple; simple enough for all
questions to get their answers right away. Simple enough to not to test the
people beyond their point of endurance, their point of tolerance. If it was
then probably the world wouldn't be this complicated.
Arnav felt defeated again as he saw his sister standing
near the doorway, her gaze piercing him like thousand red hot knives. He knew
she would question. He knew she would demand answers...answers which he himself
didn't have.
"Chhote, can I talk to you?" she asked pointedly, her
face revealing that she wouldn't accept no for an answer, "can you spare your
sister sometime in your busy schedule?"
"Di..." Arnav heard himself say, "Please, Di...I can't!"
"You have to, Chhote..." Anjali shrilled. Arnav recoiled.
He had never heard her raise her voice at him to this level. Her eyes blazed,
telling Arnav that the last shred of patience and resilience she had had been
snapped. Now, no matter what would happen, Anjali would fire away all her
thoughts at him. She looked like a woman with a mission.
"What is it you want, Di?" he asked in spite of himself.
"I want you Chhote!" she answered painfully, "I want my
brother. I want your time. Is that too much to ask?"
"Please, Di!" he whispered, unable to control himself,
"we have been through this. I can't. I need more time..."
"How much time Chhote?" she shouted, "isn't 15 years
enough? Isn't 15 years enough to get back to normal, to stop brooding? How much
time? Do you want to wait till my death?"
"DI!" he yelled, his anger coursing back through him,
"why are you talking nonsense?"
"Okay, so this is nonsense?" she yelled back, tears
rolling down her eyes, "yes this is nonsense! Here we are trying to do
everything we can to see you happy, to make you feel home and this is the
treatment meted out to us! This is the way our Chhote treats us! This is the
respect and love he gives us!"
Arnav felt like banging his head. The famous emotional
blackmail again!
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"Hey..." Shyaam hugged Payal at the door way. Even he had
to admit that she was looking beautiful that day. A white summer's dress, of
course, to save from the wrath of Delhi's killing summers. Her dark brown hair
was left open, a small butterfly clip adorning her front tresses. She looked
every bit like the girl next door, sweet, lovely and shy.
"Hi, baby" Payal gave him a kiss on his cheeks, which he
was very quick in rubbing off without getting noticed. As much as Payal was
beautiful, she was brainless. Too easy a target, in the opinion of Shyaam. But
as they say, a bitch is always a bitch and they could never be read, even by
most cunningly smart people and Payal was one...
"So, up for the shoot?" he asked her with a fake smile.
"Yeah! Feeling all good," she smiled back as she settled down on the couch,
smearing gloss on her lips.
"Great, then..." impassive, Shyaam was. It was his gift.
"Let's start this golden day with a drink, shall we? Will give us the urge to
kill it!"
Payal grinned at Shyaam, always the charmer, "yes, I will
have a scotch, please and please don't tell me it is a man's drink. I don't
give into that crap..."
"Not at all, my love!" he flashed his teeth, "Your wish
is my command. I will be right back," and went to fill the glasses with scotch,
careful enough to notice in which he had put in the powder and handed the glass
to Payal, "here you go, sweets. Bottom's up."
"Thanks, Shyaam," Payal drained the glass in one go,
oblivious to the effects the drink would have on her in minutes.
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"Di, please..." Arnav whispered his frustration distinct in
his voice, which Anjali didn't miss even if she wanted to, "I can't handle
all..."
"What can't you handle Chhote?" Anjali practically seemed
to be getting to the threshold of loudness, "what exactly is your problem?"
"Look, I know you are hurt but I need my time, okay?" he
looked at her, his chocolate eyes mirroring what his heart wanted; "I just
can't handle all this. I feel suffocated," and bit his lips instantly in
regret, as he saw Anjali's eyes widen in shock, pain and hurt.
"Suffocated?" she shrilled, pulling him with his collar,
which irked Arnav to no end. "Suffocated? You feel suffocated over here? What
kind of f**king answer is that?" she shrieked in his ears, "I can't believe
this, Chhote!"
"Di, please...try to understand," he pleaded, something he
never did, "don't test my endurance or I might do something really nasty and
you won't be able to tolerate it. Please don't make me stoop to that level."
"Are you trying to threaten me, Arnav Singh Raizada?"
Anjali yelled, "Do you think your good for nothing, filthy attitude is going to
affect me in any way? If you do, then forget it! Because I am your sister and I
have all the rights to question you!"
Arnav, who now was trying very hard to control his
emotions, grimaced as his thread of self control snapped and he roared, "This
is what I detest! This sense of power you seem to think you have over me!"
caged, Arnav Singh Raizada never would want to be, "I feel sick! I feel
disgusted to stay here... I can't stand all the fake love and emotions! I can't
handle all that!"
"Fake love?" Anjali couldn't believe her ears, "Do you
think all the affection we have for you is fake? The love Lavanya has for you
is fake?"
"Yes! It is fake!" he roared, his eyes flashing in anger
that seemed to take the better of his brain, completely making him forget about
all the shit he was talking, "It makes me suffocated! This is not my world! It
never was!"
"Chhote!" and that was it, Arnav stumbled back, reeling
with force as his sister had mustered all her power and slapped him hard across
his face. He stared at her, unable to comprehend what happened, while she wiped
her tears and walked out of the room.
Everything came crashing down in one moment, Arnav felt
his world go blank, as he realized the enormity of the venom he had hurled at a
person who was the only living soul to love him so much.
SHIT! What have I
done?
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She scratched again and scrunched the paper up and threw
it into the bin. What the hell! Not even
one proper design! Seriously Khushi, you will never come up then!
She started again. This
time I have to do it! I care less how but I have to!
As her hands moved across the paper, leaving a trail of
pencil behind in a most attractive way, Khushi lost herself in the series of
thoughts that haunted her mind. The indifference her family had for her, the
longing for love since years together, her pain and her loneliness, a light
that would never come back...
Just 1 more month
Khushi...you will be back to where you belong. Just one more month tolerate the
big head and there wouldn't be anyone who would take that peace away from
you...just one more month...she consoled her heart and started sketching again.
Mindless doodling always helped her when it came to putting
her random, confused thoughts into one piece, but in Khushi's eyes, jalebi
making beat sketching to it. The sad part was she was restricted in her ways
over here. She couldn't just go and make jalebis for the fun of it in Gupta
house...chained, that's what she was. Chained, unwelcome and unhappy.
Brooding about how life becomes unfair, Khushi was still
doodling on the paper, when she heard the very familiar, delicious waft of
jalebis and looked up to see Diya holding a plate filled with them and grinning
at her. She got up and hugged her, "Diya, you are a lifesaver, baby..."
"I knew you wanted this the minute you stepped into the
area but I daresay, you wouldn't have had it else you would have never made
home and put in a tent in Ramu kaka's stall the whole night hogging jalebis"
she teased earning a smack on her head, "ouch...this is the reward I get for
standing near the burning oil for an hour and bringing you home the sweet you
worship?" she mock pouted at her sister. Khushi laughed out heartily. Diya
smiled, elated to see her sister so happy.
"It's a long time since I saw or heard you being so
happy..." Diya gushed, ruffling khushi's hair, "Feels real good."
"Thanks," she chimed in, winking "but I have been happier
quite a few times before. Something you haven't witnessed."
Diya clutched at her heart dramatically and whispered,
"The doomsday is near...! Khushi gupta winked! Oh gosh!"
"Always the drama queen," Khushi laughed, enjoying this
easy camaraderie she shared with her sister. It brought out the best in her,
just like how it had always been with Chris. Sibling love...she smiled.
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We should never
hurt those who love us...
Those words reverberated in Arnav's mind, making him
realize that this time he had crossed his limits. He needed time, and he still
needed because he was unable to forget whatever had happened. He was unable to
warm the frozen time, let it flow and become light, fluid. He was unable to
forgive himself and his family members for whatever had transpired. He tried,
he punished himself, he regretted yet he couldn't pull himself out of the time
lapse...
But today, he wasn't just hurtful but he had wounded his
sister, wounded her very grievously and probably would never be able to forgive
himself for it. He ran a hand through his hair, tensed and regretting and ran
in search of his sister, hoping to explain his situation to her, to make her
understand that living this life, for him wasn't anything less than traumatic.
PRECAP:
Jeez...I am so
sorry, did I hurt you?
No, no it's
fine...absolutely...
I really am sorry! I don't know what has got into me
lately. I am being so clumsy and stupid that I am going around knocking every
person in my way. Yesterday I knocked some annoying dude at the New York
airport. He was barking mad at me...
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