Joke Junction #7 - Page 2

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navyab thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#11

Lecturer: The lecturer is taking the class seriously.
One of the student looking towards the window side in the class room.
The lecturer asks the student "For what purpose you are coming to the school?"
Student: For vidhya sir(In Telugu Vidhya means Education).
Lecturer: Then why you are looking towards window?
Student: Vidhya(Girl friend) has not come upto now sir.

navyab thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#12
Behind every successful man
there is a WOMAN

If U Need More Success

...
Increase the Number...
navyab thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#13
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.

"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy.

"Tommy," replied the second.

"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.

Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."

"Honest?" asked Billy.

"No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
navyab thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#14
A lawyer was reading out the will of a rich man to the people mentioned in the will:

"To you, my loving wife Rose, who stood by me in rough times, as well as good, I leave her the house and $2 million."

The lawyer continued, "To my daughter Jessica, who looked after me in sickness and kept the business going, I leave her the yacht, the business and $1 million."

The lawyer concluded, "And, to my cousin Dan, who hated me, argued with me, and thought that I would never mention him in my will - well you are wrong. Hi Dan!"
navyab thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#15

A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer."

The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone.

However he suggested an alternative: He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer. That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!"

navyab thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#16
Harris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.

A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"

Harris replied: "Just doing what you said, Doc. Get a hot mamma and be cheerful."

The doctor said: "I didn't say that. I said, You've got a heart murmur - be careful."
navyab thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#17
Stung by a bee Santa comes running to the doctor shouting and screaming in pain, "Please doctor you've got to help me. I've been stung by a bee."

Doctor: "Don't worry; I'll put some cream on it."

Santa: "You will never find that bee. It must be miles away by now."

Doctor: "No you don't understand! I'll put some cream on the place you were stung."

Santa: "Oh! it happened in the garden where I was sitting under a tree"

Doctor (in anger): "No, no you IDIOT! I mean on which part of your body did that bee sting."

Santa (still screaming in pain): "On my finger! The bee stung me on my finger and it really hurts"

Doctor (banging his fist, abusing and shouting): "Which one?"

Santa (innocently): "How am I to know? All bees look the same to me."
navyab thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#18
Santa and his wife Jeeto were sitting around the breakfast table one lazy Sunday morning.

Santa said to her, "If I were to die suddenly, I want you to immediately sell all my stuff."

"Now why would you want me to do something like that?" she asked.

"I figure that you would eventually remarry and I don't want some other jerk using my stuff."

Jeeto looked at Santa and said, "What makes you think I'd marry another jerk?"
navyab thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#19
The Policeman had stopped the man for obvious drunken driving, but since the guy had a clean record, he made him park the car and took him home in the patrol car.

"Are you sure this is your house?" the cop asked as they drove into a rather fashionable neighborhood.

"Shertainly!" said the drunk, "and if you'll just open the door f'me, I can prove it to ya."


The police officer followed the man as he shakily negotiated the stairs to the second floor.

The drunk pushed open the first door they came to.

"Thish ish my bedroom," he announced. "Shee the bed there? Thast mine! Shee that woman lying in the bed? Thash my wife. An' see that guy lying next to her?

"Yeah?" the cop replied suspiciously. Beginning at this point to seriously doubt the man's story.

"Well, thash me!"
pratimadas thumbnail
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Posted: 11 years ago
#20
Navyab ji ,i want to ask u something???