Posted:
What The Hell...
It's done. Now officially he got what he wanted.
I'm belong to him, him alone.
Say goodbye to Khushi Kumari Gupta, welcome to Khushi Singh Raizada.
The thought makes me sick.
I'm his wife. With my obligations and my duties.
Duties. Because he was very clear with me: our relationship has not changed, he is in charge.
We'll see ...
I should be happy, but on my face no trace of joy or satisfaction. I'm sitting in the garden with Arnav who shakes my hand possessively, in front of hundreds of people eating, dancing and having fun, making a mockery of my unhappiness.
Then, I see. The only person who, during those weeks, have been a friend, in the valley of despair when I was a prisoner ...
I jumped up from the table, trying to pull my hand away from Arnav, but he did not let go of it.
- Where are you going? - I hit with two cold eyes, but the irises always shine the light that it was when I reached the altar.
I sigh - I saw Payal, I would like to say hello ... -
I feel that he stiffens when I pronounce her name.
- What is it? - I ask, puzzled.
He looks at me again, it is all day that he did not detach his eyes off me.
- No – he said calmly, but something bothers him.
I leave his hand from mine and walked towards Payal.
- Khushi? - His voice makes me turn in his direction, and I see that his gaze fixed on me, he is tormented.
- Do not go far –it's all he says, and I nod, aware that this is no time to argue.
I see the profile of Payal, and I go close up to her.
- Payal! – At the sound of my voice, she turns around, and suddenly I freeze, staring at her.
I'm amazed, but the surprise soon turned to horror.
Her face was sad, and looks at me, but I am, in fact, that I should apologize.
I walk slowly, I'm afraid of falling, I'll definitely whiter than usual.
- Payal ... -
- Hello, Khushi - her voice is as sweet as I remembered it.
- Payal ... -
Sniffles, tears in her eyes and sketches a shy smile.
But that smile is false, because I see the pain in her face.
- How are you? It's since a long time we do not see ... -
- Payal - I interrupt her, now we're very close - who did this to you? -
Touch her cheek, and then the right eye, distinguished, purplish bruises that scar on her beautiful face.
I am shocked, I cannot believe that ... that ... no, it cannot be true.
Her eyes fill with tears - it's nothing, Khushi, I ... -
- It was Arnav? – I interrupt her, my voice trembling, the tears streaming down his face.
She looks at me, surprised, and shakes her head - Arnav? No, Khushi, he did not do anything ... -
- Who? - I find myself able to speak.
She is afraid, she clearly terrified to answer, but, faced with my tears of supplication, she does not hold.
- Akaash - her gaze came to rest a few meters away from her, terrified.
Automatically I turn and see a huge man, beefy, huge, with dusky skin and blacks hair who is talking animatedly with Arnav.
He, perceiving my eyes, turned to my direction, and makes the eyes darting between me and Payal. When he see my face full of tears, he becomes serious, and his eyes glow, but I do not know what is the feeling that powers them.
A brief look, I cannot support this, I cannot think what happened to Payal is my fault. He takes a step towards me, he seems to want to reach us.
I turned sharply, raising with my hands the dress and ran toward the house. At that moment my only thought is to escape from there.
I'm running and I realize that.
I escape from a reality that is foreign to me, where all my certainties disappear, pulling into a black hole from which it will be difficult to re-emerge.
The tear-stained face, bright eyes, cheeks red.
All of my appearance, show to the world my inner torment.
A world incomprehensible to me.
What man can beat up a woman sweet and fragile as Payal?
A beast that knows no love, without ethics or morals.
And I, immersed in force in this reality, I cannot stand this.
- Khushi! - his voice is sweet, sensual, but I know who he is, actually. I will not be fooled by his persuasive ways.
The train of the dress is annoying, it doesn't allow me to run as I would like.
To feel free, as I'm no longer.
I increased the walk, I will not pour out my anger on him.
Because the consequences can be dangerous.
One of his hand imprisons the wrist, making me flinch.
His touch burns like a fire capable to burn my soul.
He jerked violently, forcing me to turn around, to meet his beautiful eyes.
The tears streaming down my face gleam in his eyes.
I am ashamed, I will not show my weakness.
Because I know that he would take advantage.
- What happened? - It's not a question, because he knows.
The silence amplifies the pain I feel in the chest, because I have not the strength to speak.
His gaze seems genuinely troubled, and look at my face bathed in tears.
He senses my pain, because the eyes are the mirror of the soul.
And he knows that is destroying it.
He pulls me, coming closer to me.
- What is it? -
I do not speak, I just watched in silence.
Do you feel my disgust, Arnav?
You, who have imprisoned me in your world.
You feed my pain, you rejoice with my tears.
- Khushi? - He raised his voice, seems genuinely troubled.
He welcomes me into his arms, kisses my forehead, strokes my hair.
Shudder of disgust.
I go away abruptly, I do not want to dirty with his wickedness.
- Do not touch me - mine is a cry, I feel I am at breaking point.
But his hand did not stop to shake my wrist.
- What happened? Why are you crying? -
And it's there that outbreak.
How can he ask such questions? How can you not feel the excitement in me?
And the tears come back down from my eyes, but this time is different.
They are tears of rage.
- Why am I crying? How dare you? You're a bas***d, Raizada, you make me sick!
What have you done? How the hell you have reduced her! Raizada, you are a filthy, you do not deserve to be in this world - I'm crying, I realize.
As seared, he let go my wrist, lowering his hands. I take this opportunity, away from him, looking at him with all the contempt possible.
His eyes stare at the empty, arms at his sides, his face shocked.
And while the tears streaming down my face, I feel the hate, anger and contempt increase.
He is a good actor.
Because he knows.
He know what happened to Payal.
He know about the violence that Payal has suffered because of me.
The awareness fire his eyes, who returns to focus on me.
- Payal-he says.
And the anger raging, uncontrollable. I approach him, our faces are close.
- Yes, Payal-shocked I whisper - you saw her, right? You saw what they did to her? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? - I started to cry, feel the tremors shake the body.
And the feeling it was me, with my mad flight, to cause all this makes me feel even worse.
My head spin, fogging the view.
Two strong arms hold me before I fall to earth.
I feel nauseous, but I try to recover.
At that moment, the only thing I want is to get away from him.
Forget that I'm his wife, that I have been his, I have given him my body, and he took my soul.
The clarity returns, sudden, and I try to move away.
But he do not let me.
- Get off! - I struggled, he kicked hard, but he is stronger than me.
Soul and body.
I'm shaking, anger is back, stronger than before.
- Stay calm .. -
- Get off me, bas***d! -
- Khushi, you're sick ... -
Our eyes collide, attract each other like two magnets.
I take a breath.
- I feel bad when I'm with you! -
I take a thrashing, but he doesn't give up.
He is losing patience, I feel it.
And it's confirmed when he took me up without any effort, like a sack of potatoes.
He pulls me on the couch and straddles me.
Immobilizes me, but the tears gives no sign to stop.
- Now calm down-he says seriously
-You a murderess, Raizada. You disgust me, look what you did! I ... -
I freeze, I'm without breath. My chest rises and falls with the rhythm of my breathing, and his eyes hypnotize me, so are intense.
And worried, because I see fear in them.
The close to my wrist gets stronger, and for a moment I fear the worst. I'm afraid he will download its fury on my body, but I do not care.
I never come down to him.
But he just staring at me, with that look strange, almost hallucinatory, whom I had looked at the altar.
The place of a false promise.
- No, I have not done anything to Payal-his is a whisper, but I get clear. I look at him in disbelief, my eyes are wide open from disgust.
I get upset, but do not let go of it.
- A damn liar, that's what you are. I saw the bruises on her face, I saw her look of fear. Do not fool me-
I try to get away but we are in close contact.
And his eyes seem darker at that time.
- It was Akaash, I do not know anything about it-
I laugh, a cynical laugh hysterically.
- You could prevent –I said, staring straight at him.
Eyes are filled with anger. He looks away – It's his wife-
I opened my eyes, shocked.
I feel the blood coming back on my cheeks, to show the horror of what he has just said.
- His ... his wife? – I breath in disbelief - Just because his wife he has the right to beat her? BEAT HER? ARE YOU CRAZY? -
No answer, but the silence that follows my words is eloquent.
His eyes collide again with mine, and dilate when they see the horror that there is on my face.
- And so it goes between us, Arnav? You'll beat me to a minimum quarrel at the slightest nonsense? You'll use violence to bend me to your will? – I take breath, my voice is broken - How did you do that night? - And the memory of my cries, the violence with which he deceived me, turn my head again.
The air is tense, tense.
I feel his body freeze, and his hands are detached from my body.
And his eyes ... his eyes stare at me empty, before the pain transfigure his pretty face.
What I would give to be able to read your mind, Arnav.
But the pain soon fades away, the mask of evil back to hide his agony. A gesture of defense, the protection of a man that the world has known only pain and death.
He looks at me, his eyes are hard, cold as a cold winter night. His hands are back on my wrists, holding on to them tightly.
He approaches, slow, sinuous, with the charm of the predator.
-I don't owe you an explanation, I will not apologize. You're my wife, I chose you, and you will be the only one to suffer the consequences. I am what I am. Or accept it, or you'll be overwhelmed by the brutality of me- he said
I'm in disbelief, the pain is the background to the vortex of anger that only he can drag me.
I do not think, I do not reflect on the consequences of my actions.
Our faces are very close, and I am doing something I never thought I could do to a human being like me.
I spit on his face, expressing in that gesture all my disgust.
He looks at me, bewildered. I do not believe either.
But the anger replaces the surprise in his eyes.
He raises a hand, is about to hit me.
I close my eyes, waiting for the shot, the result of my foolish gesture. But, again, it is not the physical pain that knocks me.
His hand stopped an inch from my face, and it is suspended in the air, as his eyes seem to want to penetrate the soul.
I look in his eyes, there is anger, but also something else. Something that I cannot identify.
And after what he do, leaves me confused, but mostly stunned.
His hand rests on my face, stroking it, while the emerald irises of his burns in mine.
A flash, something in his eyes shooting, and he stands up, his back to me.
Without saying a word he goes, leaving me alone, and the confusion took possession of my mind.
I'm belong to him, him alone.
Say goodbye to Khushi Kumari Gupta, welcome to Khushi Singh Raizada.
The thought makes me sick.
I'm his wife. With my obligations and my duties.
Duties. Because he was very clear with me: our relationship has not changed, he is in charge.
We'll see ...
I should be happy, but on my face no trace of joy or satisfaction. I'm sitting in the garden with Arnav who shakes my hand possessively, in front of hundreds of people eating, dancing and having fun, making a mockery of my unhappiness.
Then, I see. The only person who, during those weeks, have been a friend, in the valley of despair when I was a prisoner ...
I jumped up from the table, trying to pull my hand away from Arnav, but he did not let go of it.
- Where are you going? - I hit with two cold eyes, but the irises always shine the light that it was when I reached the altar.
I sigh - I saw Payal, I would like to say hello ... -
I feel that he stiffens when I pronounce her name.
- What is it? - I ask, puzzled.
He looks at me again, it is all day that he did not detach his eyes off me.
- No – he said calmly, but something bothers him.
I leave his hand from mine and walked towards Payal.
- Khushi? - His voice makes me turn in his direction, and I see that his gaze fixed on me, he is tormented.
- Do not go far –it's all he says, and I nod, aware that this is no time to argue.
I see the profile of Payal, and I go close up to her.
- Payal! – At the sound of my voice, she turns around, and suddenly I freeze, staring at her.
I'm amazed, but the surprise soon turned to horror.
Her face was sad, and looks at me, but I am, in fact, that I should apologize.
I walk slowly, I'm afraid of falling, I'll definitely whiter than usual.
- Payal ... -
- Hello, Khushi - her voice is as sweet as I remembered it.
- Payal ... -
Sniffles, tears in her eyes and sketches a shy smile.
But that smile is false, because I see the pain in her face.
- How are you? It's since a long time we do not see ... -
- Payal - I interrupt her, now we're very close - who did this to you? -
Touch her cheek, and then the right eye, distinguished, purplish bruises that scar on her beautiful face.
I am shocked, I cannot believe that ... that ... no, it cannot be true.
Her eyes fill with tears - it's nothing, Khushi, I ... -
- It was Arnav? – I interrupt her, my voice trembling, the tears streaming down his face.
She looks at me, surprised, and shakes her head - Arnav? No, Khushi, he did not do anything ... -
- Who? - I find myself able to speak.
She is afraid, she clearly terrified to answer, but, faced with my tears of supplication, she does not hold.
- Akaash - her gaze came to rest a few meters away from her, terrified.
Automatically I turn and see a huge man, beefy, huge, with dusky skin and blacks hair who is talking animatedly with Arnav.
He, perceiving my eyes, turned to my direction, and makes the eyes darting between me and Payal. When he see my face full of tears, he becomes serious, and his eyes glow, but I do not know what is the feeling that powers them.
A brief look, I cannot support this, I cannot think what happened to Payal is my fault. He takes a step towards me, he seems to want to reach us.
I turned sharply, raising with my hands the dress and ran toward the house. At that moment my only thought is to escape from there.
I'm running and I realize that.
I escape from a reality that is foreign to me, where all my certainties disappear, pulling into a black hole from which it will be difficult to re-emerge.
The tear-stained face, bright eyes, cheeks red.
All of my appearance, show to the world my inner torment.
A world incomprehensible to me.
What man can beat up a woman sweet and fragile as Payal?
A beast that knows no love, without ethics or morals.
And I, immersed in force in this reality, I cannot stand this.
- Khushi! - his voice is sweet, sensual, but I know who he is, actually. I will not be fooled by his persuasive ways.
The train of the dress is annoying, it doesn't allow me to run as I would like.
To feel free, as I'm no longer.
I increased the walk, I will not pour out my anger on him.
Because the consequences can be dangerous.
One of his hand imprisons the wrist, making me flinch.
His touch burns like a fire capable to burn my soul.
He jerked violently, forcing me to turn around, to meet his beautiful eyes.
The tears streaming down my face gleam in his eyes.
I am ashamed, I will not show my weakness.
Because I know that he would take advantage.
- What happened? - It's not a question, because he knows.
The silence amplifies the pain I feel in the chest, because I have not the strength to speak.
His gaze seems genuinely troubled, and look at my face bathed in tears.
He senses my pain, because the eyes are the mirror of the soul.
And he knows that is destroying it.
He pulls me, coming closer to me.
- What is it? -
I do not speak, I just watched in silence.
Do you feel my disgust, Arnav?
You, who have imprisoned me in your world.
You feed my pain, you rejoice with my tears.
- Khushi? - He raised his voice, seems genuinely troubled.
He welcomes me into his arms, kisses my forehead, strokes my hair.
Shudder of disgust.
I go away abruptly, I do not want to dirty with his wickedness.
- Do not touch me - mine is a cry, I feel I am at breaking point.
But his hand did not stop to shake my wrist.
- What happened? Why are you crying? -
And it's there that outbreak.
How can he ask such questions? How can you not feel the excitement in me?
And the tears come back down from my eyes, but this time is different.
They are tears of rage.
- Why am I crying? How dare you? You're a bas***d, Raizada, you make me sick!
What have you done? How the hell you have reduced her! Raizada, you are a filthy, you do not deserve to be in this world - I'm crying, I realize.
As seared, he let go my wrist, lowering his hands. I take this opportunity, away from him, looking at him with all the contempt possible.
His eyes stare at the empty, arms at his sides, his face shocked.
And while the tears streaming down my face, I feel the hate, anger and contempt increase.
He is a good actor.
Because he knows.
He know what happened to Payal.
He know about the violence that Payal has suffered because of me.
The awareness fire his eyes, who returns to focus on me.
- Payal-he says.
And the anger raging, uncontrollable. I approach him, our faces are close.
- Yes, Payal-shocked I whisper - you saw her, right? You saw what they did to her? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? - I started to cry, feel the tremors shake the body.
And the feeling it was me, with my mad flight, to cause all this makes me feel even worse.
My head spin, fogging the view.
Two strong arms hold me before I fall to earth.
I feel nauseous, but I try to recover.
At that moment, the only thing I want is to get away from him.
Forget that I'm his wife, that I have been his, I have given him my body, and he took my soul.
The clarity returns, sudden, and I try to move away.
But he do not let me.
- Get off! - I struggled, he kicked hard, but he is stronger than me.
Soul and body.
I'm shaking, anger is back, stronger than before.
- Stay calm .. -
- Get off me, bas***d! -
- Khushi, you're sick ... -
Our eyes collide, attract each other like two magnets.
I take a breath.
- I feel bad when I'm with you! -
I take a thrashing, but he doesn't give up.
He is losing patience, I feel it.
And it's confirmed when he took me up without any effort, like a sack of potatoes.
He pulls me on the couch and straddles me.
Immobilizes me, but the tears gives no sign to stop.
- Now calm down-he says seriously
-You a murderess, Raizada. You disgust me, look what you did! I ... -
I freeze, I'm without breath. My chest rises and falls with the rhythm of my breathing, and his eyes hypnotize me, so are intense.
And worried, because I see fear in them.
The close to my wrist gets stronger, and for a moment I fear the worst. I'm afraid he will download its fury on my body, but I do not care.
I never come down to him.
But he just staring at me, with that look strange, almost hallucinatory, whom I had looked at the altar.
The place of a false promise.
- No, I have not done anything to Payal-his is a whisper, but I get clear. I look at him in disbelief, my eyes are wide open from disgust.
I get upset, but do not let go of it.
- A damn liar, that's what you are. I saw the bruises on her face, I saw her look of fear. Do not fool me-
I try to get away but we are in close contact.
And his eyes seem darker at that time.
- It was Akaash, I do not know anything about it-
I laugh, a cynical laugh hysterically.
- You could prevent –I said, staring straight at him.
Eyes are filled with anger. He looks away – It's his wife-
I opened my eyes, shocked.
I feel the blood coming back on my cheeks, to show the horror of what he has just said.
- His ... his wife? – I breath in disbelief - Just because his wife he has the right to beat her? BEAT HER? ARE YOU CRAZY? -
No answer, but the silence that follows my words is eloquent.
His eyes collide again with mine, and dilate when they see the horror that there is on my face.
- And so it goes between us, Arnav? You'll beat me to a minimum quarrel at the slightest nonsense? You'll use violence to bend me to your will? – I take breath, my voice is broken - How did you do that night? - And the memory of my cries, the violence with which he deceived me, turn my head again.
The air is tense, tense.
I feel his body freeze, and his hands are detached from my body.
And his eyes ... his eyes stare at me empty, before the pain transfigure his pretty face.
What I would give to be able to read your mind, Arnav.
But the pain soon fades away, the mask of evil back to hide his agony. A gesture of defense, the protection of a man that the world has known only pain and death.
He looks at me, his eyes are hard, cold as a cold winter night. His hands are back on my wrists, holding on to them tightly.
He approaches, slow, sinuous, with the charm of the predator.
-I don't owe you an explanation, I will not apologize. You're my wife, I chose you, and you will be the only one to suffer the consequences. I am what I am. Or accept it, or you'll be overwhelmed by the brutality of me- he said
I'm in disbelief, the pain is the background to the vortex of anger that only he can drag me.
I do not think, I do not reflect on the consequences of my actions.
Our faces are very close, and I am doing something I never thought I could do to a human being like me.
I spit on his face, expressing in that gesture all my disgust.
He looks at me, bewildered. I do not believe either.
But the anger replaces the surprise in his eyes.
He raises a hand, is about to hit me.
I close my eyes, waiting for the shot, the result of my foolish gesture. But, again, it is not the physical pain that knocks me.
His hand stopped an inch from my face, and it is suspended in the air, as his eyes seem to want to penetrate the soul.
I look in his eyes, there is anger, but also something else. Something that I cannot identify.
And after what he do, leaves me confused, but mostly stunned.
His hand rests on my face, stroking it, while the emerald irises of his burns in mine.
A flash, something in his eyes shooting, and he stands up, his back to me.
Without saying a word he goes, leaving me alone, and the confusion took possession of my mind.
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