OS- This can't happen now!

Dr Malvika, your OS set me thinking...and I came up with a slightly different scenario...and yet the dilemma remains...this one is for you, for making me think 😊


This can't happen now!

A second band of color appeared on the strip!

Nidhi's face lost all colour. No, she couldn't possibly be pregnant! This couldn't be happening to her now. Not when everything was going as per her plan.

She had secured admission into AIIMS for doing her post graduation in cardiology. She wanted to be a heart surgeon. Her mind had been fixed on it ever since she had assisted Dr Mehta on an open heart surgery. The experience had enthralled and fascinated her.  She had told Ashu that very night that she wanted to be a cardiologist. He had told her that she would keep changing her mind as she went through her rote of duties but she had told him she would not. And she had not! She had secured a very high rank in the entrance exams and her dream to join AIIMS had come true. As luck would have it, Ashutosh had also managed to convince the KGH management to grant him leave of absence for the duration. A friend of his had set up a laboratory in Delhi and they were engaged in stem cell research. They had wanted Ashutosh to join them and guide them through the initial years. So, they would be together and still pursue their respective careers. How much more ideal could a situation get!

She had been feeling queasy for the past couple of weeks but had attributed it to the upheaval over the shift. And her cycle had never been regular at the best of times. The thought of pregnancy had never struck her till the day before. It was the news of Priyanka's pregnancy that got her thinking. She had postponed taking the test for a day but had finally decided there was no point in avoiding it.

Now the result was there in her hands!

What should she do? Would all her plans come crashing around her like a house of cards? Surely, she couldn't have come this far to let them collapse this way. Surely, God could not have intended for this to happen! Surely, she hadn't excelled in her PG entrance and got into AIIMS just for it all to end as a dream?

Why did this have to happen now? What had she done to deserve this punishment? She had been so careful, faithfully taken her pills and yet she had to fall into that miniscule percentage of women who had the pill failing on them! She had glibly assured Ashutosh that she would handle it all when he had asked if he should take precautions.

How reliable were these tests anyway? Maybe she should consult the hospital's gynaecologist. What if it turned out to be a false positive?

Armed with the thought, Nidhi hurried out of the bathroom and got ready to leave for work!

Edited by Sujatha.rao - 11 years ago

 

Dr Shah's face was wreathed in smiles. She wiped her hands on the tissue before binning it.

"Congratulations Nidhi...we will still have to run some tests...but your physical examination indicates that you should be about six weeks pregnant.!"

Why did she feel so numb? She was not even able to say a word in response!

"Nidhi...are you okay...here, have this glass of water!"

Dr Shah practically forced the water down her throat.

"Come on now, surely it can't be that big a shock...you must have suspected...and besides, must be a hugely pleasant shock right...I so want to see Ashutosh's face when he knows...in fact, why don't we call him?"

Dr Shah picked up the receiver and was about to dial his extension.

"Doctor please...can you give me some time...I need to process this for myself first!"

Dr Shah replaced the receiver.

"Yeah...sure...take your time...but is everything okay...I mean ...you and Ashutosh?"

"Yeah...we're fine...that is not the problem!"

"So what is...I mean...if I may ask...?"

"Dr Shah...you know, don't you...that I've got into AIIMS for my PG...and we are moving to Delhi...and right in the midst of that...I don't know how to react...I am confused...I don't know what I want!"

Understanding dawned on Dr Shah's face.

"Oh yes...I'd forgotten all about that...my sympathies are with you, Nidhi...this is not an easy situation to be in...since you are a doctor yourself, I do not have to discuss the options with you...you know them as well as I do...I would suggest you decide as soon as possible...and I am with you irrespective...!"

Nidhi looked at her gratefully as she got up.

"And Doctor...!"

"Don't worry...you are my patient now...and patient confidentiality will be maintained...I will not talk to Ashutosh...that is for you to do either way!"

Nidhi nodded her head and left her cabin.

Her head was feeling heavy. She did not feel good. She just wanted to lie down in a cool, dark place and forget everything for a while. She decided to take the rest of the day off. AShutosh was in surgery. So, she took Ranga's consent and asked him to inform Ashutosh as well.

She came out of the hospital and hailed an auto.

Before she knew it, she had given him her father's address. Dadi Bua was the closest she had to a mother. She just wanted to be engulfed in her maternal warmth for now!

The smell of the Maharani paneer was so strong that Nidhi could not help the bile rising up her throat.

She got up quickly and rushed to the bathroom  before puking her guts out.

Dadi Bua and Baba were looking concerned as she came out.

"Beta...kya hogaya tujhe...?"

"Kuch nahi Dadi Bua...sar bari pad raha hai...shayad us waje se...I don't know...bas main todi der letna chahti hoon...aaram karoongi toh teek feel karoongi!"

"Dr AShutosh ko phone karoon kya?", Baba asked!

"Nahi Baba...please...unhe kuch mat kahiye!"

She hurriedly interjected.

Baba and Dadi Bua looked surprised.

"Nahi..woh surgery mei te jab main hospital se nikli...khamaka unhe kyun pareshan karein...!"

Dadi Bua nodded.

"Yeh bhi sahi hai...tu jaa kar aaram kar bacchii...jaao!"

She nodded as she moved towards her room.

The curtains were closed and the room was in blessedly dark. She slumped down onto the bed, The familiarity made her feel better. Her life was not shot to pieces yet. It was still normal. All would be well. She would be fine. It would be fine. AShutosh would be fine.

Wait, what was that thought? Ashutosh would be fine? What did that mean? Fine with what?

He would be fine with whatever she wanted. Her happiness came first for him. But what was her happiness all about? What did she want?

She sat up and looked at her image in the dressing table mirror. The faint light trickling in through the curtains made for a very hazy image. She could not see her face quite clearly.

There was no way she could let go of this opportunity. God, she had slaved her butt off for it! She couldn't let it go when she was this close! But how could she go ahead with it. For the next two years at the very least, her life was not going to be her own. Her body, her mind, her emotions, everything would go for a toss. How could she even imagine attending college and managing a study schedule amidst all of this! No way could she do it!

A sob escaped from deep within her. Why did this have to happen now? What had she done to deserve this? Why now when she was so close to realizing her dreams? Why now and why her?

Suddenly, Dr Shah's words came to her mind.

She had spoken of options. Of course, there were medical options. She knew that herself. But were they really viable options? What if she thought of exercising her option, her right? It was her body at the end of the day. Her right to decide what to and what not to do with it! A baby now would completely mess up her schedule! Was that fair to her? Was that fair to her dreams, her ambitions, her talent? So, should she exercise her option then? How would Ashutosh react if he knew? Would he support her? She knew how badly he wanted a baby. When he knew it was close to being a reality, would he permit her to put an end to it? Did he love her enough for that?

Suddenly, another thought arose. Did she love him enough? Could she do that to him? Could she put his dream over hers?  But they had agreed on a two year waiting time. What had happened was an accident. So, why should he consider it a betrayal of his dream? He had no expectations of it being fulfilled in the near future anyway. So, why should he feel disappointed? Another baby would come their way but what of this opportunity?

She peered into the image as if to find answers.

Suddenly the light was switched on and the room was bathed in light.

Her image in the mirror seemed slightly distorted, appearing harsher than usual. Was it a trick of light? Why did her face suddenly appear to have lost its customary softness? Why did she feel like looking away from her image?

"Bacchi...yeh kya hogaya hai tujhe?"

She turned around at the sound of Dadi Bua's voice.

Dadi Bua came and sat next to her on the bed.

She couldn't hold back any longer. She put her head on Dadi Bua's lap and cried her heart out.

"Dadi Bua...,mujhe bohot darr lag raha hai...mere saare sapne...mere armaan...lagta hai sab toot jaayenge...Dadi Bua...main kya karoon...mujhe kuch samaj nahi aaraha hai!"

"Kya hogaya meri bacchii...aisa kyun kehrahi ho...baat kya hai?"

"Dadi Bua...mujhe MD karni hai...mujhe cardiologist banna hai...maine bohot mehnat ki hai, Dadi Bua...aap ke Bajrang Bali ne aisa kyun kia mere saath...mere sapnon ko kyun  sakar nahi hone de rahe hain..?"

Dadi Bua was really worried now.

""Bacchi...mujhe bohot darr lag raha hai...aakhir baat kya hai...apni Dadi Bua ko nahi bataoge...main hoon na tere saath,...main kuch nahi hone doongi...tere saare sapne sacch honge...tu bohot badi doctor bhi banegi...yeh teri Dadi Bua ka vaada...main ladoongi Bajrang Bali se,,,is  poori duniya se tere liye...tootne nahi doongi tere sapnon ko,...tu ro mat meri bacchi...ab batao apne Dadi Bua ko...baat kya hai?"

Nidhi felt encouraged. Dadi Bua's words gave her strength.

She sat up, sniffling just a bit as she wiped her face with her dupatta.

"Dadi Bua...main...main pregnant hoon!"

Dadi Bua appeared shocked.

"Kya?"

"Haan...main pregnant hoon!"

"Daaktar ko pata hai?"

"Nahi pata...!"

"Kyun ...bataya nahi tune?"

"Nahi...kyunki mujhe...!"

"Kyunki?"

"Kyunki main khud tai nahi kar paa rahi hoon ki mujhe yeh baccha chahiye ki nahin!"

Edited by Sujatha.rao - 11 years ago

Wow Sujatha,

i am happy   that you mentioned  about  stem cells.  you can mention  stem cell preservation  at the time of Nidhi's delivery in ur os if u take it up to the labour room scene. nice os.

Sujatha, please continue. I am very curious to know nidhis decision. 

Dadi Bua reared back as if she had received a physical blow.

Her eyes were pools of hurt and regret as she regarded Nidhi intently.

Yet, she did not say a word!

Nidhi could have handled it if she had ranted and raved. She could have even handled it if she had struck her a blow. But she could not handle her silence or her penetrating gaze.

"Kuch toh boliye, Dadi Bua...aisa chup mat rahiye...please...meri halat ko samjiye...main kya karoon...mere saare sapne, mere armaan ...in sab ko aise kaise jaane doon...agar yeh baccha hoga toh phir meri padayi ka kya hoga...main college kaise jaoongi...yeh koi asan course nahi hai..MD hai...aap ko pata hai kitni mehnat karni padti hai...pregnancy ke halat mei main padai kaise karoongi..aur phir baccha jab honeke baad mera saara time uski dekbaal mei chala jayega,...main apne liye, apne padai ke liye kahaan se waqt nikhaaloongi...?"

Dadi Bua listened to her in silence.

"Aap samaj rahe hain na main kya keh rahi hoon...aap aur Baba degne na mere saath..main Dr Ashutosh ko samjadoongi..woh samaj jayenge...woh mujhse bohot pyar karte hain, Dadi Bua...bohot pyar...mere liye woh kuch bhi karenge..mujhe pata hai...aur bacche ka kya..bacche kabhi bhi hosakte hain...apne course complete hote hi main koshish karoongi...koi problem nahi...ek baar main apni course khatam karloon...phir baccha hojayega...hojayega, Dadi Bua...zaroor hojayega!"

"Yeh tum kise samja rahi ho, bacch?"

"Kya?"

"Matlab kise samja rahi ho...mujhe ya khud apne aap ko...Ashutosh ko bura nahi lagega,...jab chahe baccha hojayega..yeh sab...kise samja rahi ho?"

Nidhi's shoulders slumped in defeat.

"Mujhe pata ta...aap mere saath kabhi nahi denge...aap hi ne Dr AShutosh ko pehle bhi uksaya...abhi bhi aap unhi ka saath denge...baccha...baccha..baccha...nafrat karne lagi hoon main is bacche se...nafrat karti hoon main...nafrat karti hoon main...!"

Nidhi was getting hysterical when Dadi Bua's hand landed with great force on her cheek.

Nidhi was shocked into silence.

"Chup kar...chup kar...main keh rahi hoon...jab us din tumne aake humse kaha ki tum daktar  se pyar karti ho toh maine usi din bola ki agar teri ma hoti toh tumhe thappad dedi...aaj teri Maa ki taraf se maine woh kaam pura karli!"

"Nahi...agar meri Maa yahan hoti toh woh zaroor mera saath deti...meri apni kushi hi unke liye sabse zyada maine raktha...meri Maa mujhe samaj jaati...meri khushi ke liye ladti...mujhe kabhi chot nahi pahunchati...Maa...Maaa..Maaa!"

Nidhi started crying loudly for the mother that she had lost so many years ago.

 

Dadi Bua took her into her arms and let her cry in peace.

Nidhi 's sobs finally slowed down and became hiccups.

Dadi Bua poured her a glass of water from the jug on her bedside table.

She silently gulped it down.

"Nidhi...tu itne daave ke saath kaise keh sakti ho ki teri Maa hoti toh tere saath deti?"

"Kyunki Maa hamesha apne bacche ke saath deti hai!"

Dadi Bua remained silent and merely looked at her.

Nidhi realized the import of her words. She did not know what to say further.

"Bacchi...aaj jab tujhe kuch teekh nahi laga toh tum daud kar hamare paas aagayi...kyun...kyunki yeh tere Maa ka ghar hai...chahe woh ab nahi bhi ho...par is ghar mei tumhe Maa ki mamta mehsoos hoti hai..shayad tum mujhme apni Maa ko dekthi ho...main itni saalon mei yehi soch ke aayai hoon!"

Dadi Bua's voice broke and Nidhi felt ashamed of her earlier outburst. This woman had dedicated the last two decades of her life to her upbringing. All she could do in return was question her allegiance!

"Koi baat nahi...main bura nahi manoongi...par aaj main kuch karne waali...ek kasam todne waali hoon jo maine bayees saal pehle kisi ko diya ta!"

Nidhi looked at her in confusion.

"Bacchi...tumhe itna toh pata hai ki teri Maa ki maut bayees saal pehle hui ti...tum do saal ki ti tab...par tumhe yeh nahi pata ki teri Maa ki maut kyun aur kaise hui ti!"

Why was Dadi Bua talking of all this now?

"Ek kaaran hai, bacchi...isi liye keh rahi hoon...aur yun hi nahin...tere Maa ko diya hua vachan tod ke...!"

"Kaisa vachan?"

"Yehi ki main tumhe yeh kabhi nahi jaanne doon ki uski maut ke kaaran tum khud ho!"

Nidhi felt like the world had tilted off its axis for a moment.

"Kya...main kaaran ti meri Maa ki maut ke liye!"

"Kuch aisa hi samjo...Nandini ki tabiyat kaafi nazook ti...tab jaake woh garbavati bani...doctor logne humein pehle bhi chaitavni dhi ki bacche ko janam dena uske liye teekh nahi hoga...unhone bohot bola bacche ko girane ke liye...tere Baba aur maine bhi bohot minnat ki use...par woh nahi maani...zidd karke tumhe paida bhi ki...par uske baad uski tabiyat aur bigadti chali...par usko koyi afsos nahi ta..usne mujhse kaha ki jo pal usse tere saath beeth ne ko mile, woh uske liye vardan se kam nahi...bohot kush ti woh tere saath...aur kushi kushi dum  bhi tod li...is kushi ko mann mei leke chali gayi ki is duniya mei apni aur tere Baba ke pyar ke ek nishani ko chod ke jaa rahi hai...unke apne parichayi ko tere Baba ke haath mei saunpke jaa rahi hai...bas uski yeh khwaish ti ki tum yeh kabhi na jaane ki tumhari paidaish hi uske liye kaal bani!"

Nidhi could not control the tears flowing down her cheeks.

"Tum padai ki, sapnon ki baat kar rahi ho, bacchii...woh khud apne jaan tumpe kurbaan kar ke chali...aisi ti tumhari Maa...!"

Dadi Bua's voice broke and she hugged Nidhi, both drawing solace and comfort from each other.

"Bacchi...zindagi kabhi kabhi bohot bade maslon ko khade kar deti hai hamare saamne...yeh isliye nahi ki hum toot jaayen..par isliye ki hum uska himmat se saamna karein...agar koi cheez humein aasani se miljati hai toh kabhi kabhi uske maine nahi rakthe hum.,...ab tere pyaar ko hi dekho...kitna lad jagad ke tumne apni baat ban vayi ho...jo himmat tumne apni pyar ke liye lad te waqt dikhayi...kya woh himmat tujh mei nahi hai abhi...haan...main maanti hoon aasan nahi hoga tere liye...bohot hi mushkil hoga...par mushkilon ka saamna karne ka taqat toh hai na tujh me...toh haar kyun maan rahi ho...aisa kyun sochti ho ki apne sapnon ke liye tumhe apne bacche ko khona hai...ya phir bacche ke liye sapnon ko khona hai...himmat ke saath kaam logi aur mehnat karogi toh donon tere saath honge, bacchii!"

Nidhi could not help nodding her head.

"Aur phir tera pati...woh tumhe do saal diye toh hain...tumhe pata hain woh apne armanon ko nazar andaaz karte hue hi tumhari yeh iccha puri kar rahe hai...aur do saal tak woh kuch kehte bhi nahi...par ab kudrat ne yeh faisla le liya...maana meri bacchii ki bacche tere andar hi palne wala hai...jo bhi shaareerik takleefein sehni padegi, woh bas tumhi ko sehni padegi...isliye bacche ke baare mei nirnay lene ka haq sab se zyada tumhi ko hai...par shaadi ka matlab kya hai...tan aur mann ek doosre ko arpan karna...yehi hai na...toh jab tere andar tum donon ka pyaar pal rahi hai, uske baare mei faisla lene ka haq sirf tumhi ko kyun..ek doosre ke tan aur mann par tum donon hi haq jata sakte ho na...bol, meri bacchii?"

"Haan!", Nidhi said is a small voice.

"Toh phir teekh hai...daaktar se poochte hain ki kya is bacche ko ghira diya jaye?"

Dadi Bua picked up her mobile but Nidhi grabbed it from her.

"Nahi...hargeez nahi!"

"Kyun ?"

"Woh toot jaayenge, Dadi Bua..aur main unhe toot te huye nahi dekh sakti...!"

"Par tune mujhse kaha ta ki woh maan jaayenge!"

"Maan jaate, Dadi Bua...agar main poochti toh...par main kaise poochon...kaise poochon...kaise  poochon!"

Nidhi broke down and started weeping bitterly.

"Yeh hamara baccha hai, Dadi Bua...maine aise kaise sochli...hamara baccha...hamara baccha hai..."

She hugged her waist and cried bitterly.

Dadi Bua let her cry her heart out.

"Meri Maa ne mujhe janam dene ke liye apni jaan dedi..aur yahan main apne bacche ki jaan lene ki soch rahi ti...main kaisi Maa hoon, Dadi Bua...kaisi Maa hoon...I am so ashamed of myself...nafrat karti hoon apne aap se...kaisi Maa hoon main...kaise Maa banoongi...kitna unlucky hai mera baccha...ki mujh jaise Maa mili hai use...Mera baccha ...mera baccha Dadi Bua...kya woh mujhe maaf karega...kya meri Maa mujhe maaf karegi...mujhe mera baccha chaiye, Dadi Bua...baccha chahiye!"

Nidhi cried for the mother she had lost and the child she had almost lost. Dadi Bua did not stop her.

Just then the door opened and Ashutosh entered.

"Nidhi...Dadi Bua...Nidhi ko kya hua hai...kyun ro rahi hai woh...Nidhi...what is wrong..sweetheart...are you okay...baby...stop crying...tell me what's wrong...Nidhi...don't scare me,,,stop it now!"

Dadi Bua moved away so Ashutosh could take her place.

He sat next to Nidhi and took her into his arms. Her crying increased instead of subsiding.

He looked up at Dadi Bua.

"Dadi bua...kya hogaya hai Nidhi ko?"

"Daktar...main kyun boloon...khush kabri apni biwi ke muh se hi sun lo...main chali rabri banane!"

She went out and closed the door behind her.

Edited by Sujatha.rao - 11 years ago

very nice Sujatha, please add the khush khabri scene too, please

What to say? 👏 Can't wait for the continuation...  Soon please.

Hey Sujatha...not fair...aage kya?