UPDATE 18
Next Day
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[Shakti's POV]
The sentence made of 4 simple words sent my mind whirling, almost bouncing off my skull's wall.
AMAR IS IN LOVE WITH YOU
Shan, Sneha, Archie and Maccie had shocked me with this statement and what made it even scarier was that it seemed to be true- almost tangible- if it was touchable. There was no threat, but still I was stunned.
I was mute as they told me, my mouth hanging slight open in shock. They told me everything, from when Kunwar first began to show interest, starting from then to now.
"Kunwar… loves me ?" I questioned, looking into each of my friend's eyes, looking for a sign that this was some sick joke. I saw no such thing. They all nodded, their heads, confirming that it was, indeed the truth. I shook my head. No … he couldn't be… "Sesiously? But he can't love me….."
"But he does, Shaks," Sneha replied, slightly frustrated that I wasn't accepting it "…so deal with it. You can do one of either two things. Give him a chance to let him love you, or break his heart. Which one would you prefer?" Archie said, with a slight hint of joking-ness in his voice.
I just couldn't digest it, but then I questioned myself. Why had I been so jumpy, so angry to snap at anyone whenever Kunwar had a date?
[Amar's POV]
Choti choti baatein, yunhi aate jaate
Yaadein sehlaake jaati hain
Raaton ko sirhaane, baasi muskaane
Mujhko sulaake jaati hai
Why is she not talking to me? Does she get to know about my feeling for her? But I didn't tell her. Then who?
Milna nahin hai mumkin, itna batao lekin
Hum phir mile kyun hain
Tujhko bhulaana paaun, tujhko bhulaana paaun
Yeh silsile kyun hain
She said she needed some space. She doesn't wanna talk to me.
Teri aahatein nahin hai
Sab kuch wahi hai, par kuch kami hai
Teri aahatein nahin hai, nahin hai
I looked at her from the corner seat and our gaze met but after a minute or two, she turned her head to the other side. Gosh! I miss her.
[Shakti's POV]
We reached Mumbai in the evening. In the whole journey, I didn't have a conversation with Kunwar, just to keep it straight that I DON'T LOVE HIM or do I? Urggh! He had always been my best friend. How can I mix relations like this. This night even a cold shower didn't help.
Venue: D3 sets
I wouldn't believe it. It was too much. I knew it. There was no rational reason to think I, of all girls, had a crush on Kunwar. It was prospterous. How could I have feelings for my best friend? I tried, pointlessly to concentrate. Here I had a piece of dance to choreograph and I was gulp thinking about Kunwar. Was my own precious mind playing tricks on me? I highly doubted it. I didn't want to admit, much less act upon it, but I loved him. I'm insane ! I figured. This was crazy. Stop! I forced the thought that I loved him away. I didn't need this, not now.
A presence behind me startled me, and I jerked about to see who it was. Kunwar! In all his brown-eyed, straight-haired glory, was standing next to me, leaning down to peer in novel which I held to win over my turmoil. "How can you read this now?" I shook my head, then nodded, then shook it again, highly confused. The word 'Kunwar' reverberated throughout my body. I stumbled, "I…I like to read." Kunwar snorted, "I gathered…how long do you think I've known u, Shakti Mohan? Two minutes?" His voice was playful and childish, joshing me.
I blinked, huge eyes, staring so avidly at him. I love you Kunwar! It was easy in my head. Ironically, and expectedly, the sentence, died in my throat. No! I scolded myself. What had I been thinking? Loving Kunwar. It was ridiculous. I was glad of my mental reprimand, or else I might just have gone and done something deranged –like tell him. I exhaled deeply, perhaps hoping I could pour those unwanted feelings for him out with the CO2.
"P.S. I Love You" Kunwar read the title of the novel before me skeptically. I found myself nodding vaguely. How was I supposed to think about all my dance when all I wanted to do was drown myself in those brilliant, brown eyes? I daren't look up in to them, for fear, I might fall so deeply in love with them, I would suffocate.
So I forced myself miserable head down into the barely visible font on the page in front of me. I give up.
"I'm going home" I said, after enquiring about the scenes from Palki, stalking towards my home and finally collapsing onto my bed, forgetting the novel, closing my eyes, smiled dreamingly and drifted off. I thought some sleep might help but it was of no use when Kunwar entered in my dreams. Dreaming about Kunwar had scared me, because I was always afraid of loving him, not that I listened. I got ready and drove to the sets next morning.
On set, when Kunwar took the seat next to me, like always. It had never meant something before. Now it did. I heard my heart thumping like a Congo drum and wanted to put a hand over my chest to block the beating. I excused myself after listening to the script into my vanity to calm my racing heart. Oh, and my sweaty palms, my body trembling, not to mention my thumbs twiddling. I had it bad. All signs pointed that way.
Keeping my thoughts aside, I picked my costume and went to change. I stopped outside from vanity and rushed towards sets for my scene, wishing continuously to God, for not a romantic scene. I should be able to push Kunwar out of my mind there; I certainly hope so. As I turned out, and as fate would have it, I didn't face any better there. Each time Kunwar spoke to me, I jumped unpleasantly. Once his hand brushed my arm and I blushed as red as a tomato. I was quiet sure of the burning sensation it had left in my poor arms.
Maine nahin jaana, tune nahin jaana
Jaane anjaane jo hua
Kuch toh hua jo, mujhko hua na
Tujhko magar kyun hua
Galti nahin hai teri, galti nahin hai meri
Phir bhi gile kyun hain
"We need to talk, Shakti" My breathe had caught. I nodded. He reached out and run his fingers down the length of my hair. I knew what he was trying to say. I screamed inside myself, sure this couldn't be happening. I shook my head, backing away from him.
Tujhko bhulaana paaun, tujhko bhulaana paaun
Yeh silsile kyun hain
Later I told myself I had done the right thing, instead of staying and hurting his feelings because I wasn't sure enough of mine. Part of me wanted to hit myself hard for loosing, half stayed strong. I couldn't let my foolish crush on him- if that what it was- get in the way of our friendship.
Sab kuch wahi hai (wahi hai), par kuch kami hai (kami hai)
Teri aahatein nahin hai
Sab kuch wahi hai, par kuch kami hai
Teri aahatein nahin hai, nahin hai, nahin hai
I avoided Kunwar the next two days, not wanting to see him although my body shrieked in agony at avoiding myself of his presence. I think he looked upset over this, troubled may be, but I couldn't help feeling guilty.
Teri aahatein nahin hai, aahatein nahin hai
Teri aahatein nahin hai
Teri aahatein nahin hai, aahatein nahin hai
Teri aahatein nahin hai
Kyun, kyun nahin hai
Time passed a week, then two. I became withdrawn. All I have to do was professionalism. I hated myself for it, but I wanted to go back in time, rewind to when Kunwar had almost said me those things I wanted so much to hear, and press play so I could do it right. And every time I thought this, I kicked myself.
"Shakti tum ab tak soyi nahi?" Mukti inquired. My eyes had tears which came rolled out at any point of time. She came and placed herself by my side. "Kya hua Shakti?"
"Kuch…nai…"
"Dun you try to hide me"
"I couldn't like Kunwar, I'm not sure why but I couldn't." I repeated.
"Kunwar and you..?? Shakti please elaborate…"
I narrated the whole sequence to her which had happened between us, which was eating me up and down, day-by-day. And finally we came to a conclusion.
"I know its hard to say…Muks, but I had to tell him the truth. I don't know how he is gonna react" I said
"He is your friend, he will surely understand" Mukti said and bid bye, moving towards her room.
But before that I needed some courage to speak to him and I knew what's gonna help me, though it's not the only solution. But it was easiest.
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This is for today...hope to get good reviews as they are my bread and butter. 😉
I'm sure u can't see me starving...😆
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Mania❤️
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Edited by magical_mania - 11 years ago
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