This is a real life incident which happened long ago to a very close cousin of mine..I wanted to post it here earlier..But I had to get my cousin's permission before I posted it here..hence the delay.
My very dear cousin, who was not very keen to study and wanted to get married and have a home of her own was married off at the tender age of 18.She and I are just a few days apart and grew up like twins...
Naturally it was an arranged marriage as is the usual custom..and everyone was excited about the boy and his family..The boy seemed a bit silent. but his family told us that he was a very reserved guy...Well,my cousin was on cloud 9 and I was also in the same state...happy for her and happy to get a BIL...One week after marriage, she and her hubby came down for their first visit after marriage, which is a great event in our area... she appeared very subdued...and in spite of repeated questioning..refused to divulge anything. All were worried..but then thought that she must be missing home and everyone ...and consoled ourselves...Two weeks later, we got a call from her in laws place that she is on hunger since two days and is refusing to talk also...my aunt and my mom went rushing to her place..and seeing them she burst out crying..The in laws were making excuses that she was mising home,her parents etc.and asked them to take my cousin back home for a few days..My cousin refused to come home...later,after a month,she had to come home for some other occasion..by that time she had become so apathetic that all were shocked..Finally we managed to get the truth out of her...her hubby was in love with a Christian girl and was adamant about marrying her only..his mom tried to commit suicide and he was forced to give her his word that he will marry the girl of her choice and that too immediately..and they fixed up this marriage..both he and his girl friend were heart broken..but he had no option..esp being the only son...So that is how he got married to my cousin...apparently he had told my cousin everything about this on the first night itself...and he never even touched her .my cousin ,though shocked and upset, being a very patient girl..decided to give him time and win him over somehow...but a few days later he took her out and made her meet his girlfriend..and together they told my cousin about their love ..and how they can never love anyone else except each other..my cousin understood that and was in despair..that is when she stopped eating..it was not strike, but depression.!!!!!!!! There was a big uproar, followed by fights between the families...my BIL was actually a nice man otherwise..but we were all so upset with him'.there was a great debate amongst the family members [poora khnadan and not immediate family alone]as to what was to be done..some wanted her to remain patient and somehow or other try to win over her hubby's love and make her forget his girl friend'.as marriage was not child's play and if at all she gets divorced or gets her marriage annulled..it will still be difficult to find a good boy for her again..But some others wanted her to come out of the marriage and make a new life for herself''.it went on and on''it seriously affected my studies also at that time'..and finally everyone in our family was convinced that my BIL will never be able to love his wife''.his family also had to accept that''.but still everyone in our family was reluctant to take the final step bec of the fear of how it will affect my cousin's future life'.at this time, another dramatic twist occurred'.my cousin's brother, who is also my cousin had a very good friend belonging to Nair caste..We are Brahmins..Iyers.. he had been apparently very fond of my cousin and had confessed to her also, it seems. but my cousin refused to entertain him as problem of caste was there..and she never told anyone also'now that boy got to hear of all these happenings from his friend, my cousin's brother'He came forward saying that he will be willing to marry her once the annulment/divorce got through'..there was total confusion again''of his caste/his parent's initial disapproval/my cousin's refusal to agree bec she was feeling guilty that she had refused him before'//my God''.it was a never ending drama'.finally to cut a long story short'[as it is I have written in great detail, no?] after a lot of trials, and hurdles, she finally married her brother's friend..by the time she got married to him they were so much in love with each other'.And now..they are very very happy'with 2 kids'and my BIL is the best in the world''
Now, would you say that what my cousin did was wrong?? Should she have stuck to her first marriage against all odds??
And my ex BIL, what about his stand?? He did not take advantage of my cousin at any point and has been always true to his real love..He was trapped'.and he made life miserable for many other people also with his decision to marry my cousin..But does that label him as a totally bad man? Actually speaking, his friends, collegues and relatives have always had a very great opinion about him'his mother was at fault.. ultimately it was fate which was to be blamed'..BTW, he also got married to his girl friend and they are also happy..and the most amazing thing is, my current BIL and my ex BIL had become good friends by the time they finally got everything settled..and my cousin and her first husband's girl friend had also become good friends by then and could understand each other's condition well..And as all 4 were involved in that emotional adventure, they became really close and supportive of each other.. And you know what..the 2 families go for combined tours every year'for a few days'..Amazing and unbelievable, no??? But each and every word is true..no exaggeration at all.
Enough material to be converted to a serial,no??
I have already e mailed what I have posted here to my cousin...and will give her the feedback from here as well.
update
Some of the many problems we faced during that period.
Those 11/2 to 2 yrs was so difficult for everyone...my cousin's father ,my Uncle had a heart attack,was hospitalized...her mother made herself sick with worry, our family was also disrupted.Because my mom had to be in their place to look after her sister[my aunt].So I had to shoulder so much of extra responsibility all on a sudden,being the eldest child..taking care of my sister and brother who were in middle school...My Dad was very busy with his work so couldn't help much at home...I had so much to study also..I used to get up at unholy hours to finish my house work and studies..And I was so worried about my cousin who was so much like a twin...in between in a fit of despair,my cousin swallowed some sleeping pills and was critically ill for more than a week...My father and Uncle tried to make a police case against my ex BIL when my cousin did that, and all the chakkar related to that, ..and comments and taunts from the society and neighbors..My God,it was a prolonged night mare which lasted for more than a year and a half...I shudder even now to think about it...
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