New FF: Shadows of the Sun- Ch 2 on 12 - Page 4

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---Nisha--- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#31

Originally posted by: Maddy1270

seems an intriguing premise... you should continue to let your creative juices flow!

 
the moment I read it, realised that khushi has been kidnapped or has fallen prey to human traffickers! have a feeling I won't be reading this story as i don't like to read such intense and painful ones
 
wishing you the best for this story


No problem maddy...If things go the way I have it planned then yes the beginning will be pretty dark...very intense. But to balance that later love will blossom as well. But i would call this story a light right by any means. In fact the shudder of think how I am going to write it. 
Xaffi thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#32
It looks a bit different os would love to read it... :)
samia19 thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#33
interesting concept, please pm me when u update
SanzBarbie thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#34
very interesting start..
feeling bad for khushi..
-DramaLover- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#35
Plz continue.PM me when u update
---Nisha--- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#36

Read this before you start:

I want to tell you straight up that this is going to be an intense read. There will be darkness for a while, certainly, but remember that darkness doesnt last forever. There must be a balance between light and dark. 😉 For those who want arhi romance don't worry you will get your dose, but you might have to wait a while. I want to ask you guys that please don't leave me half way...stick with it and I promise it will be amazing. I wont settle for anything less than that because I wanted to write this FF since it would be challenging. I want to take my readers on a roller coaster ride. If any of my readers are writers themselves and they see that my writing falls short somewhere than tell me so that I can rewrite that part. If you want something lighter than read my FF- The Thin Line, or if you just like my writing and wanted to check it out then that's fine too. 😃 😳 😃 😳


Chapter 1

Khushi woke up with a searing headache. She felt like hell. What had happened last night? She slowly opened her eyes and her jaw dropped. She was in a cage. There were girls all around her, most of them were sleeping but some of them were awake. It must be a nightmare. She would wake up soon enough.

"What am I doing here, where am I," Khushi asked the hopeless looking girls. But no one replied. They seemed to be lost; there was so much pain on their faces. God, what had happened to these girls? Seconds turned into minutes and still she had gotten no reply. So she asked again a little louder.

"In hell," replied one of the girls. And Khushi's heart sank. 

Hell indeed described this place well. There was dust everywhere in this 2 by 2 cage. The bars of the cage had become rusty.  There was no light, the moonlight entered the cage through the single window. But Khushi knew there was a deeper meaning to "hell" than that. 

What was she doing in such a place? She looked out the window and screamed for help. "There is no use," the same girl who had spoken before told Khushi. "No one will listen. I have been here for a week now. You can scream until your voice gets hoarse but no one will come."

That made Khushi all the more anxious. "Please tell me what is this place? What's your name? I am... so scared. Please talk to me," Khushi asked.

"We have been kidnapped. I'm Aliyah by the way," she said with a straight face as if she got kidnapped everyday. 

"Khushi. So are they going to contact our families for money," she asked fearing the answer. She could sense what was going on here and that had her really scared.

"Havent you guessed already. They are going to sell us to the highest bidder. The people who kidnapped us are running a human trafficking racket," Khushi's breath left her.

"What," Khushi had known even before she said it but she had not wanted to believe it.

"Yes, they are going to train you first by Anne, but she likes for us to call her Mistress...makes her feel powerful or something," she said. "Well I guess it's fitting'she is powerful afterall. She has the power over us." Khushi gulped down the saliva gathering in her throat. No she wouldn't let this Mistress scare her. Khushi had to make it out of here. This couldn't be her life. And if she wanted to escape she would need to be strong. She couldn't let this Mistress break her. Who would have thought that just a few days ago her life had been so different, that she had lead a very comfortable life'and now she was in a cage. As the night passed by, Aliyah had gone to sleep but Khushi found it nearly impossible to sleep. She sat there thinking about her family, her life.

 

"Khushi beta wake up," amma said shaking her. "Amma let me sleep some more please. I didn't get enough sleep last night. Five minutes amma, please. "No beta, we have to go to the Raizada's today. Rajvinder and Mina have specially invited us today," amma said.

Amma's wouldn't let her sleep anymore, so she just decided to wake up. "But we go to the Raizada's house all the time so why did aunty and uncle invite us specially," Khushi said.  "Because Arnav is coming back today," amma said. 


I know its a bit short, but this was a very good stopping point. I am dedicating this part to FairyLiquidSoap. Thanks for all the support love 🤗

Please comment/like...I am working really hard on this FF so I would appreciate it you guys would comment. 

Those of you who follow The Thin Line as well...I just wanted to say that I will most likely alternate from now on. I will update this FF one day and then the other one the next day. I hope that's okay. 

EDIT-

Oh, and I just wanted to ask you guys about the title. What do you like: Caged Love or Shadows of the Sun? Caged Love was suggested to me by .Euphoria. and Shadows of the Sun was suggested to me by Pikudika. 

Last note: This will probably get moved to the Fan Fictions forum (in case you dont get pm's and you cant find it). 

If you want PM's then please check the PM rule on the first page...

Edited by ---Nisha--- - 12 years ago
smarty94 thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#37
reserved.
*edit*

nyc start... will stick around till u finish it😃 
Edited by smarty94 - 12 years ago
---Nisha--- thumbnail
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Posted: 12 years ago
#38

Originally posted by: dillmillgayye

Nice concept 👏 I'm hooked


I was just a little confused about one thing:

"Khushi beta wake up," amma said shaking her."" 

Was the cage thing a dream? Or is the above bit about her family a dream? It wasn't very clear or maybe it's just me



Khushi is sitting there in the cage and she has nothing else to do so she is thinking back to a few days before..how her life had been so much different.
So its flashback. 
preetihere thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#39
I knew it when i read about the cage, its scary but ur lil footnote is surely going to make me brave this..
good one , u are developing urself as a writer...
it was intense and the flashback eased in slowly...brilliant! Please do continue..
Edited by preetihere - 12 years ago
CDlove thumbnail
Posted: 12 years ago
#40
Im intruiged Nisha!! Nice concept! Please continue as soon as possible! cant wait :)