Posted:
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OS : It's the way you make me feel
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/2324649
OS : New Year Series - Missed Opportunities
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/2652991
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OS : Cocktail Party Series
Link to the 1st OS -> https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/2574020
Link to the 2nd OS -> https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/2589804
Link to the 3rd OS -> https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/2608350
Link to the 4th OS -> https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/2625078
Link to the 5th OS -> https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/2666381
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OS ' A new beginning
FF : Shattered Dreams
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/2038441
RECAP
"I killed my mom Arnav. Kill me Arnav & set me free"
Chapter 27
Because what he had seen in those eyes, he had been seeing it in the mirror for so many torturous years. All along he had not been looking at her but himself in a mirror. Her eyes reflected his. It held the same pain, torment, misery, tragedy, failure, struggle & resignation. He understood why he had freaked out more than her when in close juxtaposition with her. It had always been he who had drawn away & it was because he always felt naked before her. As if he had bared his inner soul before her shredded of all false vestiges of decency & civility. It was as if she could actually gaze into his soul drawing out all his hidden emotions, his blackness & his bleak thoughts.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------OS : It's the way you make me feel
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/2164559
OS : A shoulder to lean on
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/2308861
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/2324649
OS : New Year Series - Missed Opportunities
https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/2652991
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
OS : Cocktail Party Series
Link to the 1st OS -> https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/2574020
Link to the 2nd OS -> https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/2589804
Link to the 3rd OS -> https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/2608350
Link to the 4th OS -> https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/2625078
Link to the 5th OS -> https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/topic/2666381
********************************************************************************************
OS ' A new beginning
She smiled that sad, sweet smile again & he could feel
his heart breaking painfully into million pieces. You need to be strong Arnavji
for your family, for me & most of all for yourself because I can't tolerate
your pain. Can you do this for me? Can you be brave? Please. Her voice broke at
the last word.
Tears streamed down his eyes while he tried hard to smile.
Kushi touched his cheeks lightly & brushed away those pesky tears which
were marring his otherwise handsome face. She hated them. She hated herself for
doing this to him.
"Arnavji can you do something for me?"
He merely nodded not trusting his voice anymore.
"Can you hold me tightly?"
He held her gently & kissed her hair & then her soft
lips.
"Arnav I love you."
And what was left of his heart again shattered leaving
behind an indescribable agony.
He walked aimlessly not taking in the chaotic scenes around
him. Suddenly he heard squeals of laughter & saw that a few teenage girls
near him were trying on some bangles giggling & prodding each other. He
smiled gently at their innocent joy & they gaped back at the handsome guy
who was smiling at them.
The bangles tinkled merrily against her hands & she was ecstatic.
Her Arnavji, the kadoos Laad Governor had gifted her these bangles. She almost
fainted from the shock. He smiled at her happy face reflected in the mirror.
She caught his soft eyes in the mirror & a sunny smile broke across her
face giving it a divine glow.
He felt something soft caress his face. He came back to his
senses & saw that it was a run away dupatta which had wafted slowly in the
breeze & had landed near him.
He was staring at her with those intense eyes. She couldn't tolerate
the sheer passion & force of that look & tried running away from the
place. But her dupatta had other plans. It fastened around his shirt &
stroked his face sensuously.
He closed his eyes.
"No mom I want those jalebis. I will not budge till you buy
me some"
He opened his eyes to find a mom trying to cajole her son to
move but he refused to relent till she bought him those sugary, syrupy sweet.
"No Arnavji I don't want to eat those. I have decided to
reduce my intake of sweets since you can't eat them. I will eat only those
which are sugar-free or made from artificial sweetener."
He felt something wet on his cheeks. No his heart screamed.
She had asked him not to cry. To be brave & not break down. He will fulfill
her wishes as long as he breathes, as long as he lives.
"Arrey uncle watch where you are going".
"WT*"
He opened his eyes to see a short, thin girl staring up at
him. She had large, expressive, kohl eyes. She was reed thin wearing a shiny
salwar & had pom-poms in her hair. A thin strand of hair was playing mischievously
with her forehead & cheeks.
He felt a lump in his throat, stumbled lightly & felt
soft hands holding him. He blinked & noticed that the girl was holding his
arms.
"Hum Lucknow log hamesha doosron ki madat karte hain. We
always help others & support them when they need a strong hand to hold on
to or shoulder to lean on".
She gestured towards her hand around his arm & gave a
smug, superior look.
"Hum Lucknow log hamesha harne walon ki madat karte hain.
Gabrayiye mat. Agar aap neeche girenge tho hum aapko sambaal lengen"
His face broke into a wide smile. He wiped his tears &
gently placed his hand on the girl's head.
"I Know & that's why I am proud of you."
He walked away leaving the little girl staring at his
retreating back open-mouthed in a stunned manner.
There was a spring in his stride.
I will not let you down Kushi. I will be brave for your sake
& wake up every day with a smile on my face. This heart beats for you. Your
memory will always reside inside that heart, making it beat faster, bringing
cheer & joy in my barren world. I am not alone. I know that you will always
be with me, your exasperating Laad Governor.
"Arnavji please remember that even if I leave this world my
thoughts & memories will always linger in your heart warming it, comforting
you, nursing you through your dark times. Please remember that you are not
alone. I will always be with you."
He stared without blinking at the bright star in the sky. He
smiled at it & was it imagination or did he feel that it twinkled back at
him as if it was smiling back lovingly at him. He rested his head on the couch
& closed his eyes. The pain inside him was still there. But there was also
an overwhelming feeling of peace engulfing him from within.
"Kushi I love you & always will." He whispered & the
star above shone ever more brightly drenching the dark night with its blinding
light bringing along tidings of hope & a new beginning.
Author's Note
I had initially decided to take a break from writing since last month my dad was diagnosed with cancer in advanced stage. I was completely broken & my life went spiraling down. But my hubby encouraged me to write saying that writing is something that i love & hence in this difficult times it might actually bring succor to my shattered heart.
This is the 1st thing that i wrote since my voluntary break.
As usual looking fwd to your lovely comments. I really need them more than ever to bolster my bruised heart!
Author's Note
I had initially decided to take a break from writing since last month my dad was diagnosed with cancer in advanced stage. I was completely broken & my life went spiraling down. But my hubby encouraged me to write saying that writing is something that i love & hence in this difficult times it might actually bring succor to my shattered heart.
This is the 1st thing that i wrote since my voluntary break.
As usual looking fwd to your lovely comments. I really need them more than ever to bolster my bruised heart!
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