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dear friends,

i hope you all r great n doing well...😳

im new on this section and i have just came with the question which really disturbing me as i m da first advisor to whom my best friend is concerned.....😕

well,its a verry long story though in short,i have my best friend...she got marriad in a verry young age,it was completely arrangd marriage as she was da only daughter in her family,so she was doing what her parents says....

as long as she stayed wid her hubby,love grew btwn them,but da only problem was against her mom in law as we all know...!😡

she started creating wall between them n finally they divorce while my friend was 2 weeks pregnant....😭

nobody knew at that tyme....and life went on....😕

after 1 month she came to know that she was pregnant,but......no body on her husband side supportd her,she was completely alone....😡

so she struggled alone...completely alone...with life full of tensions,insecurity n loads of problems....😭

all her in laws were saying that the baby was not theirs......its really pains as i know verry well my friend..😭

life went on...she finally got a cute baby boy n alas,,,,,he was like his father.....

hats off to my friend...she worked every night like a crazy and she grew her boy like a king......👏

nothing he missed....and god is verry kind...my friend got married to a verry kind man..😳

her new husband is taking care of the boy...now he is 6 years old,and never knew about his real father...😭

my friend keep on saying that he will tell the whole story when life will allow and if tyme will support the situation...

and finally...her happines became a dark night....that her first husband called her,begging,crying,n ask for the forgivness......😭  😕 

all he wants is just to hear his sons voice,to get his pic (he doent know his face)😭

sooo,my friend is completely dnt know what to do....at 1 side he remembers all his bad....her pain,tensions she passed by throughout 6 yeras....and at other side,she is feeling sorry for him,and whenever she looks at her sons she really gets confused...

remember...she is no luck of anything....good husband,security,healthy boy,love,and a verry good financial support....

please suggest / discuss what should i reply her?

 

Your friend went through a lot .Brave of her!!

She should firstly get a lawyer and tell her husband to formally adopt her son so that this stupid first husband can NEVER lay claim on the son.

Next after this adoption is made legal she should allow restricted meeting with the biological father.

I am saying to allow this meeting only for the sake of her son , not because of this jerk of a man. As this boy will grow up , he will start getting confused and will start questioning the mother about his biological father. She should tell him about his biological father so that this man can never come and ruin her son's life.

I agree with Aparna.

Also, I would say, that make sure her new husband is aware of and agree with most of her decision as after so much trouble she now has settle life and she does not want to mess that up due to her mean ex-husband.

i agree with both Sowmya and Aparna Di both
she should NEVER go bak to her old MEAN husband and the strict meeting is really good i was gona suggest that too but Aprana Di already did it
anyways i think tellin her son right now everything might not be good for the child, i think he is too young for all these things, so m confused myself wat to suggest

thank guys for your kind advice......i apreciate ur views... 😳

Originally posted by: Neil Diamond

Is Mahesh Bhat reading this 😉 .....Imran Hashmi, another movie for him!

PS: sorry folks, couldnt help this.

ND, someone here is telling saga about her friend. If you don't have any suggestion or anything you can atleast restrict yourself to post anything here.

Originally posted by: scorpion134

i think tellin her son right now everything might not be good for the child, i think he is too young for all these things, so m confused myself wat to suggest

Telling a child a truth about his situation as early as age 3 is the best , research has shown in these cases .When the child grows into a tean , these things lead to misunderstanding between parents .Its best to tell the situation as early as this , the kids are very smart even at age 6.

ND - there is nothing filmy about this . This situation is very common and some women do go through it.
Edited by Aparna_BD - 18 years ago

hmm i agree Aparna DI but still i feel they should wait for 1 or 2 more year so that the kid knows the ups and downs of everything
but i also think its better that th ekid gets to know from his own parents other than outsiders, coz outsiders weneva tell something they add Masala and Mirch to it

I agree scorpion...better to know from own plp rather than outsider.

I am not sure about what age it should be revealed. I am leaning towards aroun 10 yrs...i don't have much knowledge and study proofs so not sure...but i always thought that at young age this would be too much to ask for...but then I am not aware much about this.

Originally posted by: Neil Diamond

there is something called "First Love" !!...can the lady forget that...I dont think so 😳

Yes, Lady can forget their first love. When that love does not earn his respect it gets easier for her to forget that. like in this case.