its important....plz read - Page 3

yes aparna...they all knows verry well what she has been through her life....
most of us support her in ...and that is why i have landed on this site....and i really thankfull to all of you..

i mean did she moved to some other place/country/city afta ur friend got married to her present hubby

nop...she was living in muscat with her first hubby...now here in tanzania...

i must say dat ur frd is very brave.. 👏
and i really hate the ppl who destroys other ppls home 🤢 and those mean husbands too who dunt care 4 dere wife 🤢
and yar hv ur frd told everything to her present husband?meanz it can create misunderstanding btw dem too 😕

your friend is Very Brave. shes gone through a lot. i think, though, that she should tell her husband the truth. all about her past, or else there will be differences between those 2. how much better is someone who can accept a child as theirs who's really it is not?

this is kind of like kyph 😉

I think all three parties (the old husband, the new husband and your friend) need to first and foremost think about the child. Forget this whole lovey dovey business that he was her first love etc etc cause now a child has come into the picture and he is first priority.

Your friend has gotten a new life that she shouldn't take for granted or jepordize in any way. If her old husband want's to get back in her life and meet his son, he can't just use his right as the biological father and get what he want's. This isn't a indian soap opera drama where the husband refuses to acknowledge his own child and then when he realizes he was wrong, him and his wife live happily ever after with their baby. This is reality and I think your friend should he honest with her new husband and forget about her past.

As for the little boy, whoever has raised him till now is considered if real father. Even if the boy's biological father tells him that he's his real father, the boy will still and always consider the new husband as his dad. Its an emotional thing.

If the new husband hasn't yet adopted the boy yet, he should. Once he gives the child his name, then its history for the old husband. He can't have his cake and eat it too. Who gives him (the old husband) the right to stay and trust his wife when he want's and leave and desert his pregnant wife whenever he want's too? She's moved on with her life and is happy now. End of story.

Best of luck to your friend with her new life and child. 😊

thank you all for your concern...i have already suggest my friend what to be done...most of us agreed that the second husband should adopt the kid...this is what is going to be done next..as long as her second husband knows from the first what happened when he didnt enter to his present wife,so he strongly support her in each way,and he is ready to give a new name to the child...
as long as m concerned as a friend that is what i adviced my friend to do...i hope what i have done is completely right for the moment....
thank you all and cheers... 😳

i dont understand when parents do dese arrange marriages its all fine when sommat goes rong dey shd cme and sort fings out........like if ur m8t had a love marriiage and dis happened to her den her parents wud blame her 4 all dis u knw wat i mean....is a nice gal and hpe da best 4 her

Originally posted by: sowmyaa

I agree with Aparna.

Also, I would say, that make sure her new husband is aware of and agree with most of her decision as after so much trouble she now has settle life and she does not want to mess that up due to her mean ex-husband.

i totally agree wid sowmyaa

Originally posted by: Neil Diamond

Is Mahesh Bhat reading this 😉 .....Imran Hashmi, another movie for him!

PS: sorry folks, couldnt help this.

   Neil, that is an underhand dig and uncalled for.....as I said, misplaced humour can be worse than even an open redicule.....

Originally posted by: fatmah5000

thank you all for your concern...i have already suggest my friend what to be done...most of us agreed that the second husband should adopt the kid...this is what is going to be done next..as long as her second husband knows from the first what happened when he didnt enter to his present wife,so he strongly support her in each way,and he is ready to give a new name to the child...
as long as m concerned as a friend that is what i adviced my friend to do...i hope what i have done is completely right for the moment....
thank you all and cheers... 😳

   That's great Fatmah !!! I think that is the best course.

    Having a 6 year old myself, I know that it will be beyond his comprehension that the person who he considers a father is not a real father....in fact his needle might get stuck onto....he is not my father?? Is he fake? Is he pretending??? Then who is my father? Why do I call him father...etc etc, not to mention the insecurity that will develop right away. Children don't like shaky ground. Of course some kids have a very good constitution as far as digesting unpalatable news is concerend, but the risk is just not worth taking.

     He is not at the age to understand. The best would be not to mention anything about it to the child about this at all. The jerk of a father can meet him, but he will have to bear the torture of being called an 'uncle' and the reality will have to be put off till the child reaches a certain age. The meetings between the so called father and the child will have to be strictly regulated. In fact, just sending him some photographs should suffice in the beginning. He never did anything to deserve to be called a father anyway. The father is the one who is bringing him up, not the jerk who conviniently sowed his seeds and then forgot all about it....

     The real father needs to be kept informed of everything. That is the most important part of all.