~innocent~ maaneet ff- UPDATED PG 75 10/25 - Page 48

Originally posted by: Maaneet_09

ah the writer's block... hmm well has it cleared?? oh also when is this update coming??😃

Originally posted by: kkaavvyyaa

waitng dear,,,,hw long?????????

Originally posted by: kkaavvyyaa

kkk,,tk ur time,,,will come after the serial only now,,,,,,,bt do post

*hola friends. yea i am know i am super late but i have been seriously tied up with college and sibling war <did i ever mentioned i hate my brother...anyways...trying not to get too carried away). now this part may seem a little...okay, well maybe quiet dry but it is a important chapter from story point of view...so bear with it...
happy reading*  

                                        DILEMMAS AND DECISIONS

Her heart kept running at an erratic speed as she closed the doors of her bedroom and tried to her calm herself. However, all she could feel was his breath on her neck and ears, his musky smell that intoxicated her senses and his eyes which seemed drunk with something she couldn't place. As she allowed her to sober up she realized that from past one week she hasn't got one moment where she could sit down and process her thoughts. It seemed as if her world was hit by some avalanche and everything has gone haywire; her life, her relationships, and her oscillating feelings. Specially her feelings. Or maybe it has always been this muddy, she didn't know. She never knew why was she not able to wash away the memories of the kiss which still managed to raise her hair and make her shudder with its sheer thought. She was at crossroads of her feelings, or maybe has always been. She loved dev and wanted him back in her live, but what did she feel for maan? Was it lust, some forbidden attraction, or just a mere infatuation- blown away totally out of proportions by her over imagination? Life had never seemed more encumbered and disoriented as it did at the moment. . However it was these moments which always made her question her own motives and loyalty.  If she loved dev how could she feel anything for maan?

 Maan was a dark force that always seemed to engulf her in its forbidden pleasure while dev was the angel who gratified her sense of wellbeing. She had never denied the fact that maan had always managed to attract her but because of the same reason she had always avoided him. Made sure their path never crossed...until now. Now suddenly everything has changed, dev was almost on the brink of exiting her life while maan was making its presence felt- something she didn't want, at least consciously. But then life had taught her not to try to take control over, for it follows its own course. So should she let dev go, she wondered. And maan? Whatever unresolved remained between them, should she allow it to unfold? Even if she allowed maan existence in her life how could she let dev go? They had been together for so long that she wasn't capable of imagining her life without him. Pinky had suggested that she could use maan in getting back dev. At that time her idea had sounded bizarre but now it seemed quite lucrative. She obviously wasn't going to 'use' him but hell she could at least start with being more friendly and accommodating.  Friendly eh, her mind scoffed giving a flashback of all their interactions. Okay so maybe friendly wasn't the word but the idea was the same. If dev was on some kind hiatus or whatever was the appropriate term for his behaviour, maybe this could bring him back!  Maybe seeing her getting more friendly with someone will make him realize her importance in his life. And if not, a thought she didn't want to consider, it will be a lesson learnt in a hard way. And whatever she had been denying for so long would finally unravel itself.

Making up her mind she went to bed with a determined mind, praying to babaji that when she wakes up tomorrow she wouldn't chicken out. Whatever next was going to happen it needed her to be strong willed and brave.

                                                             *********

'Geet baby uthiye nashta lag gaya hai' nakul kaka's shrilling voice intruded her sleep causing her to wake up with a start. A bit discombobulated she looked at the watch and found the hour hand ticking at eleven. Muttering curses under her breath she hastily got up from her bed and rushed towards the washroom. Gadhi phir late ho gae. Class toh ab khatam bhi hone wali hogi.

'geet baby uthiye nastha thanda ho jaeyga' nakul kaka shouted in his bored monotone.

'Kaka, forget the breakfast i am getting late. Aap pack kar dijiye main raaste main kha lungi' she mumbled back as she vigorously brushed her teeth.

'But babyji aaj toh Sunday hai'. He informed her in amused tone.

What???!!!

She spat the foam in the sink as she rinsed her mouth with water.

I woke up so early for nothing.

'kaka why did you woke me up so early in the morning then' she said in complaining tones as she realized as got hyper over nothing and the process abandoned her safe cocoon of bed. ' i am going to sleep again and don't wake me up before two or three'

'Sorry babyji lekin dadima ka phone aaya tha aur unhone kaha hai ki aapko zayda late tak na sone dun...aur ye bhi dhayan rakhun ki aap sab time pe khana kha re hain' nakul kaka replied, breaking her dream of taking a break a from the unfortunate realities of her life and enjoy the warmth of her cozy bed. It didn't matter whether dadima was at home or away, she always made sure that her children were never lazing around for no reason or missing their meals or, well, many other things.

'Fine i am coming, you don't have to bring dadima in everything' she replied sighing.

Dadima ke chamche.

                                                                    ******

The sight at breakfast table was nothing less of a pure torture for geet. The fact that both dadima and viraan uncle were away finally made its repercussion felt. Maan was seated on the head chair while dev and naintara were seated to his right, next to eachother. Now, she was supposed to sit amongst all the three species who were right now anchoring her life in the cruellest way. Though her flight instinct was urging her to run but she chose to ignore it. She was going to fight. Even though i am a lousy fighter, she thought inwardly. She anyways didn't have a real alternative option. It was almost funny how dadima's apparent fear and authority was more dominant in her absence than in her presence. It was easier to cajole and defy her when was present in the mansion. Nakul kaka was her ally, informer and controller all rolled into one in such occurrences. He followed her orders with more conviction than a US cabinet minister would do for the president. Thus skipping the breakfast was anyways no option. i would have to walk on his virtual dead body before skipping the breakfast. So, taking some inspiration from her last night introspection she finally started descending the stairs.

                                                                        ******

Maan looked at her from corner of his eye. She was doodling around her food like everyone else on the table. After last night he wasn't really excited at the prospect of seeing her, let alone having breakfast with geet. He felt as if he had made a fool of himself. Even though it sounded clichd for obvious reason, it had seemed that he was intoxicated by her mere presence last night. It was only when she had left that he had come out of his stupor. Since then he had been a mild shock followed by major mortification.  To say that the air was tense around them would be an understatement. If he was to go by looks of everyone, it appeared that all of them wanted to be somewhere else. It, however, surprised him that even dev and Nain- whatever were having the same pained expression as he and geet shared. What shocked him more was that geet and dev weren't interacting. In his last eight-nine years that he has been here he has never seen them apart or silent when together. They had always been together like Siamese twins. He wondered if nain girl had to do something with it. But then how should it matter to him? He already has enough of issues to dwell upon, including geet.

There were some unspoken rules between them

'Avoid any type of contact (eye, verbal or physical) and communication ...

'Do not exist at same place and same time together...

'Deny the presence of the person physical or otherwise ...

...Accidental presence in immediate surrounding should induce only two response- fight or flight'.       

And now suddenly and swiftly ever rule was being broken with no conscious effort on their part.  Mine at least. He wasn't a believer of destiny or moir but now his beliefs were rendered dubious. If not the fate then what had kept them apart for so long and then brought together out of the blue. If not the fates then why were the rules, which were so carefully followed until now without a breach, were being recessed one by one. If not fates then why did they share the same beloved adobe, about which they hadn't been aware of until now? If not the fates the why even after taking every cautious step they were not always far away in distance and time. If not the fates then why were the fates conspiring to bring them together even when they wanted to run far away from eachother...

If not the fates...

'When an inner situation is not made conscious, it appears outside as fate'- how true were the words?? He didn't know. But then maybe the time has come when he should not put on too many rules and restrictions on his desires and wants. Maybe the restrictions he has imposed on himself were too much for its own good. Maybe it was time to break them free...

And as he let the thought settle in his conscious he could feel the unseen burden lifting away. Now when he looked again at geet he wasn't mortified or embarrassed. He felt a beautiful curiosity setting in. It would be fun knowing geet handa.

                                                 part 14

Originally posted by: kkaavvyyaa

heey wrs d updt?????????