Girl child, Joint family and Social Conditioning

[ Someone mentioned that the next ME episode is about a neglected girl child and after watching few episodes of ME I pondered on some points they repeated. Please do join the discussion and give your input. ]

Just to elaborate a point in context to Nainital and Mumbai moms' attitude: When boys help in household chores, they get praised because they are doing something that's not expected of them whereas when girls do the same thing, it's overlooked because it's what she is expected to do.

Great post Maya! Will comment later :)

Great post Maya...Perfect analysis....👏 even I hold the same views as you. Will elaborately comment later..... Wont be as good as you though...😊

👏 excellent post Maya. very well analysed also.

I agree with sbanik that it will take years to completely bring a change in the thinking of such families as mentioned above

That there is gender inequality in our country is a known fact.......those of us who do not face it are in the minority.

There are dedicated persons who are working selflessly trying to bring about changes, however this is so ingrained in our psyche that we can see for ourselves that educated people who enjoy the modern comforts are still following old age beliefs.

Television is a powerful medium...........it has the resources to show viewers how to bring these changes about or at least how one can try. Instead of showing families who still follow these beliefs it would be better if they picked families who have not only changed but are open to changes...........

No one expects miracles but showing families with problems, issues mentioned by the topic starter, children being ill-treated, gender inequality is not teaching anyone anything nor is it doing the families involved any good. It is just a confirmation to the people who support it.

I agree that parents play a great part in teaching the children about these issues but if the parents themselves are the problem then we are really back to square one.

I sincerely hope that this channel takes this show and uses it wisely which they have not so far in most cases. If they can do that it will undoubtedly be a path breaking reality show.

An incident which shocked me last year: A Doctor couple was asked to give away their girl child when her in-laws found out the gender at 5th month. In India even though gender detection is banned, it's still easy to find the gender of the fetus. These two are Doctors so easier for them. The girl really got angry when her husband supported his parents. She tried to reason with them but nothing worked. They only wanted a boy child and this coming from educated, well-to-do people. Finally, the girl walked out with her girl child and now I hear that her husband is trying to get back with her and accept his child too. This girl is my cousin's friend. Hope better sense prevails otherwise all this doctorgiri is utter waste in his case.

indeed so pathetic. ask the mother who is in acute labor pain if she is thinking abt a boy or a girl child....or more so ask her if she feels less pain while having a girl and more for a boy.

Originally posted by: TheDilettante

[ Someone mentioned that the next ME episode is about a neglected girl child and after watching few episodes of ME I pondered on some points they repeated. Please do join the discussion and give your input. ]

I have noticed that in most ME episodes, it's the girl child shown as drama queen, pampered, picking up fights etc. Boys are mostly shown indifferent. That's because most ME moms expect the girl to help in the kitchen and boys get to enjoy life. Remember that Mumbai mom was after Nainital girl's case while the boy enjoyed his freedom, same with Nainital mom who was after Mumbai girl's clothes while she praised the boy. These stereotypes are so ingrained in some people and they see nothing wrong with it. If it's girl then send her to kitchen. Which century do they all live in? Boys or girls, children should help around the house. I don't support kids doing heavy chores like cooking and cleaning but keeping their rooms, clothes and things tidy is something all children should do, irrespective of boy or girl.

Second, when one speaks of joint family system, it's always about man's parents. What happens to a lady's parents? Nobody cares. The social conditioning that it's a man's job to take care of entire family is still prevalent so his parents get preferential treatment. In reality, it's the bahu who cooks, cleans and takes care of them and still the man gets all the credit for taking care of his parents. If parents have only daughters then where should they go? By the same joint family logic, isn't it a girl's responsibility to look after them? And if a girl's family lives with them then in many cases, her husband gets taunted by his side of the family for being henpecked.

I despise the social conditioning ingrained in our culture and in some people's mind who give primitive excuses to support it.

As usual Maya, I love your post....and if there was a "super like" button would have pressed it !!........Keep posting...coz people need to hear relevant and mature views ...👏