OS:A buried fear..unearthed by love

 

Hi all this is my 5th OS on maneet..but before i start this
time i have a list of poeple to thank..sorry but i need to do it..first

ayesha:Yes darling u were the first person to make me write an OS on maneet..so thanksfor that..

geeta: for the lovely titles u gave me..each time

labanya: u were the first one to comment on my first OS..i still remember those words..thanks a lot

Jhan: for the titles again..

anjana: too many things but right now just to
read the first ever crap i wrote on IF..

gargi: u were the sole reason for this
one

swati: for the wonderful idea...thanks

ashu: for coming up so quickly to give
me brains..and make me start writing

last but not the least to all my readers who read all the crap i write nd tell me they wont reading a bit more..trust me hadnt it been for u i wouldnt have written even a sec one..that all..now before
u kll me here is the OS

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                                        A buried fear...unearthed by love

 

I stood there in a trance looking at his retreating figure.
Why was he going away he had promised me he will never leave me. So why now.

 

It was just eveing..he had left me..

 

But he will come back ..he will come back na..

 

Obviously he will..he
might be having some important work.. U saw he left you at the outhouse only
after he got the call..Just give him some time he will come back.

 

I smiled and went into my room.

 

It was 5 in the evening. He had dropped me back home after
that so called meeting of his.

 

I smiled at the memory of it..The meeting.

 

I was hungry. i decided to make something for myself.

 

I was walking down into the kitchen when I felt nauseated
and a weird feeling in my stomach too.

 

I don't know but then I kept my hand on my stomach and I
felt something as though something was moving. I realized it was the first kick
I had got from my baby..no our baby.

 

I was happy beyond myself. I went back into my room to let
that feeling pass. It didn't take long.

 

Some ten minutes and I was again back to my normal but now I
was waiting for him more eagerly than before. I wanted him to feel it too. Who
else could I share these small happiness of my life?

 

I was hungry too and I realized the baby would be hungry
too.

 

I went into the kitchen and cooked a small meal for myself.

 

I saw the time it was 6 by now. I decided to wait for him
before I ate something so I went back to my room and sat on the bed thinking
about the day.

 

I had never seen him so happy before. I was thinking about
him in the office.

 

I remembered the way he had held my hand when those roses
were showered at us. He knew I was uncomfortable and his eyes that held me to
them made me smile at those roses after months now.

 

He made sure I was not out of sight for even a minute on the
pretense that I needed to fix up that file I had destroyed and I had no clue
about it, only later to realize that file contained nothing but some old
documents and the presentation file was safe with him.

 

It was 6:30 I was still sitting there waiting. I decided to call
him. I called him but his phone was unreachable. I decided to call the main
house. At the main house I was told that he was in the house but he had barred
any calls to him and had given strict instructions that even my call was not to
be given to him.

 

I was startled. What had I done that I was getting this
treatment. He has not left me

 

He cant he will come back na. I don't know why but the fear
of losing him was enveloping me again.

 

And then I heard him..

 

"geet tum mere layaak nahi ho.. main galat tha.."

 

He was standing far away from me in my room. He wouldn't
come near me I walked up to him but he just kept going back..

 

Geet mujse door chali jaao..main tumhare saath nahi reh
sakta..

 

Aap aisa nahi..i choked…aapne waada..

 

Geet to kya hua..main apni zindagi tumhare liye barbaad nahi
kar sakta..

 

I was crying..he cant..

 

Aap aayiye..ap mat jayeyie..

 

Nahi geet

 

And he walked away..i sat there crying for god knows how
long

 

And then I heard the phone ring.

 

Geet bol rahi hai..

 

Ji I heard myself mumble.

 

Aap MSK ko jaanti hai..

 

Jee haan who mere..i didn't know what relationship I had I
paused to think and the said..fianc 
hain

 

Unka accident ho gaya hai aur who aapse milna chahte hain..

 

Aap..

 

Who life line hospital mein hain..

 

Without thinking I ran out of the door and caught the first
taxi to the hospital.

 

The hospital staff guided me to him. He was in the ICU and
covered in bandages.

 

I entered but the doctor shook his head and said aapne bahut
der kardi aane mein..

 

I stood there motionless with tears flowing down my eyes.

 

He had promised he would never leave me how could he do it
now

 

I went and sat next to him..

 

Utheye na..chaliye ab hum baad mein lad lenge..aise koi
satata hai..uthiye na..jaldi se..aur ghar chaliye..aapne waada kiya tha ki aap
roz subah mere maathe par bindi sajayenge..accha baba mat karna..daant bhi
lena..par uthiye na..aur dekhiye aaj toh baby ne bhi pehli baar mujhe kick kiya
hai…uthiye na..dekhiye ab main phir HP express ki tarah shuru ho jaaongi aur
phir aap kahnge ki tum kitna bolti hoo..uthiye na..chaliye ghar pe daadimaa
humara intezaar kar rahi hongi..aur phir kal humein shaadi ki shopping ki liye
bhi toh jaana hai na..chaliye na..

 

"madam who.."

 

"who so rahein hai..main jaanti hoon..aap jaante nahi who
bahut ziddi hai..bilkul dusht daanav.."

 

"par.."

 

Aap jayeyie main inhe utha loongi..

 

Dekha main theek kehti thi ki aap bilkul Dushat dhanav
hai..dekha..Geet kabhi galat nahi hoti..ab uthiye..itni zidd koi karta
hai..accha ab main aapke saath har jagah chaloongi..aap jeete main haari..ab
chaliye na..

 

"madam.."

 

I turned around..

 

And saw that daadi maa and dev were standing outside..

 

I went out and said to daadi.."inse kahiye na uthe..aise koi
naraaz hota hai.."

 

Geet bte aap..

 

Dev tum bolo na..tumhar bro tumhari baat maange..inhe bolo
uthe..

 

Geet..

 

Aap log ro kyon rahein hai..inhe bolein uthne ke liye…

 

Daadi held me and Geet maan ab is duniya mein nahi hai..hosh
mein aayiye..

 

Nahi..woh..

 

Geet dadi maa sahi keh rahi haain..

 

Nahi aap sab..

 

Daadi ma shook me hard and said "Geet who ab kabhi waapas nahi
aayenge.."

 

I fell on my knees and shouted
"Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnn"

 

geet kya hua

 

I heard someone..someone was holding me..holding me tight.

 

That touch I knew but then how was he here.

 

I looked and saw it was him. He was looking at me with
worried eyes.

 

I realized that I was lying down and I had slept off and
what I had just seen was a dream.

 

I looked at him. The tears were flowing down my eyes
relentlessly.

 

I hugged him. I was so scared.He just held me stroking my
hair and my back.

 

He didn't ask me anything. But let me be there. I felt so
safe there and after a while when I realized that I had made his shirt wet coz
of my tears I let him go..

 

Geet kya hua..

 

I shook my head

 

Geet..

 

Aap mere paas hai na..

 

Geet maine kaha na main humesha tumhare paas rahoonga

 

He looked at me with eyes full of love..but I was so scared
that I wanted to be with him I just held his hand..

 

Geet..i looked up at him..

 

Tumne khana nahi khaya na..

 

Ji?

 

Khana..

 

Par aapko kaise pata..

 

He didn't answer me but just got up from the bed..

 

"aap…"

 

Geet main aa raha hoon..

 

I just shook my head.

 

He looked at me I had started crying again

 

He sat back on the bed and held me in his arms..

 

I just sat there for a very long time but none of us seemed
wanting to leave each other.

 

I left him this time.

 

When I left him I realized that his shirt was blotched by my
tears.

 

Aapki shirt..i looked down shyly..

 

He looked at his shirt and saw it was fully wet.

 

He looked up at me and smiled.

 

Koi baat nahi..

 

Par..

 

Shhh geet..ab tum yahaan raho main abhi aa rahan hoon..

 

I held his hand again. He realized that I was scared to let
him go.

 

He smiled at me and made me leave his hand.

 

He started removing his shirt . I closed my eyes as soon as
I realized what he was doing.

 

Yeh aap kya kar rahein hai..but he just smiled at me removed
the shirt and handed it over to me.

 

"yeh lo..ab iske bina toh main kahin nahi jaa sakta na.."

 

I smiled back at him. Just to make me feel comfortable he
had decided to take in the cold winds of the night. How much did he love me,
without a doubt or without asking anything in return? All he wanted were the
smiles on my face.

 

I saw his retreating figure and I remembered what had
happened today afternoon.

 

We had entered the office and then the surprise. The other
staff members had decided to greet with that flower shower. It took me
surprise. It was the roses and they were being showered. I couldn't help but be
taken those memories, the time of my life that I wanted to forget but these
flowers brought that memory back. That feeling of hatred, fear and losing the
people I loved overpowered for a minute but he saw right thru my eyes and
covered my hand with his. He looked into my eyes and made me forget my all my
fears and his one touch made me realize that I had lost nothing coz my whole
world was standing right. I smiled back at him to give him the assurance that I
had forgotten and nothing was troubling me, but deep within me those memories
would haunt me and trouble me in moments like this.

 

Why did these memories always trouble me when I had was with
him sharing some of the most wonderful moments of my life.

 

I looked around to see everyone looking at both of us.

 

I looked down and excused myself.

 

I went into the ladies washroom to get rid of those memories
written across my face. I splashed water on my face and when I got up I was not
the same anymore.

 

There was someone looking back at me from the mirror. My
ownself, wearing a black suit.

 

That alter ego  of
mine looked at me with hatred.

 

Geet u don't deserve him

 

What do u mean

 

U know what I mean don't u? why do u cheat him

 

I was shocked. Me and cheat him.

 

I have never cheated him, not even a single moment of my
life

 

Geet u can't lie to me. U cheat him in moments like these.

 

What do you mean?

 

Geet when in these moments u should have no one on your mind
u have HIM on ur mind. U want to compare the memories he gives to those fake
memories. How can you do that geet.

 

BUT..

 

No geet Maan deserves someone better not u..someone who
loves him fully..not this way..loves him with half a heart..

 

I love him..not with half heart…I love him more than
myself..

 

Phir bhool jaao..bhool jaao apne ateet ko. Tumne kabhi socha
hai ki un lamho mein jab sirf tumhe unke bare mein sochna chahiye tum uske bare
mein soch kar unhe kitna dukh deti ho. Tumne kabhi socha hai ki tum sirf khud
ko he nahi unhe bhi dhoka de rahin ho. Tumhe kabhi nahi laga ke unke dil par
kya beetete hogi jab aise lamho mein tum unki jagah kisi aur ke bare mein
sochti ho..nahi geet unki zindagi mein tumhari koi jagah nahi honi chahiye..tum
do zindgiyan kharab kar rahi ho..

 

Nahin main..

 

I heard the door open.

 

It was pinki..

 

Geet maan sir tujhe dhoond rahein hai..

 

I tried smiling but I couldn't but I went out with her.

 

I saw him sitting in his cabin looking worried.

 

I went into his cabin and saw him..

 

Geet kya hua…he smiled at me..

 

 I just shook my head
looked at him..

 

Mujhe ghar jaana hai..

 

He looked at me and without a question he got up from his
seat and was ready to drop me.

 

Aap kaam kijiye main..

 

Nahi geet main chod doonga..

 

I didn't argue and he left me at the outhouse.

 

And then I had fallen asleep and had that dream.

 

I promised myself that from now no memory of His would ever
come between us..i couldn't loose him anything happened…he was far too precious
to lose in exchange my few memories.

 

He came back to the room with a plate in his hand

 

Aapko kaise pata..

 

Shhh

 

And he put the plate down on the stool and sat opposite me.

 

I handed him his shirt..

 

Ab tum theek ho..

 

I nodded and hugged him..

 

I whispered in his ears.. I am sorry..

 

Par geet..

 

Aaj meri baari hai..main waada krti hoon ki aaj ke baad
humare beech kabhi kuch nahi ayega..

 

He let me go and looked into my eyes.

 

I smiled back at him.

 

He kissed my forehead and said.. geet kuch kha lein..

 

I smiled at him and we sat there having that cold dinner and
I told him about the kick. He was happy beyond himself.

 

I thanked bbaji for him a man who was happy coz my baby
kicked me..could have I asked for anything else from god..

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by mchopra - 13 years ago

an emotional one........GOSH dream was really scary.........

It's really good and not crap at all!
I guess this is everyone's worst dream - to lose their most loved ones.
I'm so glad that it was just a dream and I loved the ending.

gargi remi: there is still more to go...hehe

OMG!!!! that was beautiful.... 👏 in an emotional way... i actually cried... 😭 and i don't usually cry while reading stories... but this was really good... u write so well... i don't think i have read any of ur other stories... could u give me the links? 😊

Awesome Shreya!  👏👏 At first i was totally at loss till i relized it was a dream. I almost stopped midway but then decided to continue. i am glad I did that since it made me understand it was a bad dream. Do continue this part

sorry for leaving it mid way...jst some drool worthy stuff i thought..i made u cry na so let me make up for it..ten min will post it back..

beautiful.................👏👏

Ah you scared the hell out of me! I can't ever imagine anything happening to Maan! :(