She was bored out of her mind. There was no way in hell she was going to read quarterly budget report draft that her boss had given her that afternoon. She would give some abstract answer to her boss when he was in right mood.
When it came to analysis of Maan Singh Khurana's mood swings and predicting his mood by just looking at his face and by the way he said her name, she was a genius. She was amazed at the accuracy in which she predicted his behavior to the T. (She mentally patted her back at that) She decided to document her analysis and knowledge gained after extensive research (meaning being royally scolded, mocked, taunted, and yelled by him on a periodic basis). She wondered if anyone would buy that document from her. She knew that most women in their company were purely jealous of her (and maybe even sticking needles to the voodoo doll which eerily looked like her) due to her close association with her boss. Yeah, she could make money out of her document and finally buy a bloody cell phone.
Thus "Predictability of MSK's psychological state" version 0.0a was born.
(Since she was yelled by him only two hours ago for not maintaining proper versions for the documents she was supposed to maintain, she decided to start using it right away.)
Main Criteria to be considered:
- The way MSK says - "Geet" or variants of her name.
- Observing certain physiological markers (Kindly refrain your mind from going to the gutter. Thank you very much. Hmph.) [PM]
- Voice modulation [VM]
- The way he looks at you (When he is in a really, really, really good mood, then he would pay attention to you as much as he would to the plant which is in third floor conference room.) [LAY]
Measured units:
- Level of irritation (LOI)
- Level of Annoyance (LOA)
- Alive or Dead (not him, you, you silly git) status (DOA)
- Fired or retained status (FOR)
Please note: The first two units are measured from a scale of 30 to 100. No I didn't make a mistake by starting the scale at 30. MSK is perpetually irritated and annoyed. Third and forth are basically yes or no answers.
Proceeding further, the data from main criteria will be analyzed and units of measurements will be derived.
The way MSK says "Geet" (And using items 2 to 4 in combination with the first)
"Sunoo..."
PM: Distracted, twiddling with blackberry, reading a file. Basically not looking at me/you.
VM: Normal
LAY: Not looking at you. At all.
He is busy. Don't mess with him. Don't ask him too many questions. Just do whatever he asks you to (don't bother if it's illegal or not) but nod your head.
Units derived: LOI: 30, LOA: 40
Take Away from this situation: Good time to butter him up, random blah-ing will only get a mild glare and abstract (which are totally wrong) answers will be ignored by him. Also good time to invite him for a meal or coffee.
"Geet"
Please note that based on varying degrees of VM, PM and LAY, different units derived and take away will be derived.
Case 1:
PM: Minor distraction, burrowed eyebrow, anticipating something.
VM: An octave higher than normal.
LAY: Mild glare, narrowed eyes.
He is pissed about something I definitely did; only that I don't know when and what.
Units derived: LOI: 40, LOA: 40
Take Away: You are lucky if you don't cry after he is finished with you. Let's stop it at that, okay?
Case 2:
PM: Yells my name and doesn't bother where he is.
VM: Loud. Very.
LAY: Blatantly glaring.
Super pissed. I will be scolded for at least seven minutes. He may throw a file around and walk so fast that I have to run behind him.
Units derived: LOI: 50, LOA: 60
Take Away: Stay away from him if you want to retain your job.
Case 3:
PM: Hissed my name under his breath. Ear tips turn red. Breathes heavily.
VM: Too soft
LAY: Narrowed eyes. I-wish-there-was-a-fire-in-my-eyes glare.
I opened my mouth at wrong place at wrong time. Right now, he is stopping me from making a fool of myself. Afterwards, he might threaten to fire me or kill me and of course scolds me for sixteen minutes.
Units Derived: LOI: 70, LOA: 70, DOA: Threatens of death, FOR: Threatens firing.
Take Away: Good time for other people to make brownie points by actually saying something good and nice and fantastic and get into his good graces.
Case 4:
PM: Relaxed. Yes, it does happen from time to time. A barely there smile.
VM: Normal.
LAY: Normal.
Note: Guys, I am not making this up. Yes, MSK can be normal and not-angry-young man from time to time. Promise.
It has nothing to do with me or I must have done something amazing (let's face it, that is never happening) or he made truckload of money. Whatever it is, he lets me off the hook and I leave office when there is still some daylight left.
Units derived: LOI: 30, LOA: 30
(What? Did you think they are going to be reduced? Silly you)
Take Away: You get to play hooky, get away with silly rants and basically it's a big bonus to watch a relaxed MSK. It's a pretty sight. (wink! Wink!)
"Geeeeet"
PM: Fisted hands, stiff walk and not looking at him
VM: Embarrassingly loud (Also please note. The "eee" in my name, is directly proportional to the level of annoyance.)
LAY: If he was looking at me, I would have been burnt to death.
I have messed up greatly. Meaning I didn't do what he had asked me to do (even though whatever I did is not technically wrong)
Units derived: LOI: 80, LOA: 80, DOA: D, FOR: F
Take Away: If you don't have guts to stare him down or argue with him, you better run away as far as possible. When he is finished with you, you will either turn homicidal or suicidal.
"Miss Geet Handa"
PM: Standing way too close to me
VM: Hisses my name
LAY: Staring down on me.
He is unhappy with me. Big time. (I wonder when he is not, actually) And I have tried to prove him wrong. (I think his ego is as big as Asia. And pride as deep as pacific ocean.) So naturally he reacts wildly.
Units derived: LOI: 100, LOA: 100, DOA: Better a dig a grave yourself. FOR: what do you think?
Take Away: Lots of insults.
"Miss Hoshiyarpur"
PM: Standing close to me or my wrist in his hands
VM: Husky, deep and practically oozes of dislike
LAY: Glare, stare, eyes narrowed.
It's personal. It has nothing to do with the work since I don't see anything majorly wrong in it (when compared to usual) but I am sure he is reading too much in a blank sheet of paper. (Yeah, he is that brilliant) In these moments I get confused because he tells me mean things but his eyes say something opposite. I hurt. My eyes show it. His eyes know it. Yet we exchange words we repent later.
Units derived: LOI: Infinite, LOA: Infinite, DOA: I want to kill him, FOR: I want to quit.
Take Away: Always changing. Sometimes.....
"What the hell are you doing?" He peeked into the screen. She tried covering the computer with tiny hands but he still caught few words of it anyway. Crap. She hadn't heard him coming to her office as she was diligently (cough, cough) working on her document.
"Geet!"
Uh-oh. Name calling, looks like Case 1 or is that a borderline Case 2?
He is scolding her and she can only re-validate her document. It annoys him more. More scolding, more mockery.
She breaks into smile when she realizes that her analysis was proving to be right.
Her document was going to be humongous success and she can buy a new flashy blackberry of her own.
Her smile irks him more.
And unfortunately she gets to live through all the cases she analyzed in her document.
Yeah, it was just
another day for her.
Author's Notes: If you have more "cases" kindly drop in a comment or PM me. I will update this post!!!
All in good fun. No intention of offending anyone.
Sookie
comment:
p_commentcount