Whose fault was it? - Page 3

Originally posted by: --Anu--

I think Disha and Rajni are just being jealous of Suhana, anyone would be in that situation. Suhana comes from a rich and affluent family, she is beautiful and everyone in Kashyap family treats her like a doll. - They aren't jealous, they are angry for being at the receiving end of the preferential treatment. And anyone would be ... it is natural human tendency. Take the case of two real sisters. The older sister gets mad at her parents for meting out preferential treatment to her own younger sister. She gets mad when parents try to placate her by telling her that she should be more understanding of the two as she is the older sibling ... then here you are talking about three different daughters-in-law who come from different families!

Suhana doesn't understand family values but Disha and Rajni does, then why are they behaving like immature kids. They didn't even ask Suhana what her friends would like to eat. Their only motto was to impress Suhana and her friends with their cooking skills. They only had to cook for 2 more people but they made it look like as if they are inviting the entire chawri bazaar for dinner. lol - Yes their motto was to impress/surprise Suhana. And they didn't ask. Agreed they should've. But their motive was noble one. Unfortunately for them, their plan backfired and how! They were more angry with the fact that Suhana completely discounted their efforts. At least she should've given them SOME credit for slaving away in the kitchen. They helped her to make rotis when she couldn't even make one. Utna toh unka hak banta hai.

I understand where you are coming from ... communication was clearly broken down. Neither should Rajni/Disha have presumed, nor should Suhana have been so insensitive. But of the two evils, IMO, Suhana's insensitivity outweighed the other.
Edited by LadyMcbeth - 13 years ago

Originally posted by: LadyMcbeth

I understand where you are coming from ... communication was clearly broken down. Neither Rajni/Disha should've been presumptuous, nor Suhana so insensitive. But of the two evils, IMO, Suhana's insensitivity outweighed the other.

That's what I mentioned in my other post that Suhana should have at-least acknowledged their effort and thanked them. But she wasn't expecting this and was taken by surprise. She knows what kind of food Kashyap family eats on a daily basis and also her friends taste. She didn't want to bother them for her friends sake. Till now Suhana doesn't consider them as her own folks, she is just living with them under the same roof which is a big compromise for her. She felt badiMa's pain as she sees a mother in her. But she has not special bond or connection with any other family member.

Originally posted by: --Anu--

I think Disha and Rajni are just being jealous of Suhana, anyone would be in that situation. Suhana comes from a rich and affluent family, she is beautiful and everyone in Kashyap family treats her like a doll.
Suhana doesn't understand family values but Disha and Rajni does, then why are they behaving like immature kids. They didn't even ask Suhana what her friends would like to eat. Their only motto was to impress Suhana and her friends with their cooking skills. They only had to cook for 2 more people but they made it look like as if they are inviting the entire chawri bazaar for dinner. lol

Originally posted by: neel_jay

 

come on, don't we always cook a lot more when we are expecting guests? it's not equal to cooking for 2 extra! of course not! when we cook for guests, we cook a lot more dishes, more variety and we cook special didhes - rich food. Rajni and Disha put in a lot of effort and hard work to cook good food for Suhaana's friends and she didn't give a damn! why don't you think about from the bhabhi's point of views? why shouldn't they feel hurt?

 

There are a lot of members thinking from Babbi's POV, someone has to think from Suhana's side as well. 😆
Yes we cook a lot more when we are expecting guests but how much more ? lol If Suhana and her friends didn't eat then how much food would have been wasted ? Keep it in the refrigerator for the next day.
Like I said before Suhana should have thanked the bhabhis.

Originally posted by: an12345678

Bold: But for how long one can take that excuse. One needs to become part of the family, and someone has to tell her that.

When you invite someone to your place for lunch or dinner, do you prepare the menu according to their wish? A family always prepares the food according to what they can cook the best. They should have asked Suhana, right, but when she came to know about all the preparation done, she should have taken a moment to think, and made Disha and Rajni understand. She didn't care, it was no big deal for her. And, if the bhabhis are hurt, they have every reason to be.

Someone said, they cook everyday so what is the big deal. It's the big deal when Suhaan sits in her AC room, and these two ladies do the chores without a frown, or complaining until and unless something offends them. Suhana is no longer the new bride, and she is one of them, and she does not have any kind of work or study excuse to give. In their eyes, she is part of the family and a daughter-in-law. They do not get dreams about her upbringing and the kind of life she has led. They have an idea and that is why, they have been so considerate towards her till now.

@--Anu-- : Why will bhabis be jealous of Suhana? They are married to the men they love and who love them in return, living in a family they love, they are surrounded by people who will stand-up and be there for them. They are happy. What they fear is the attitude of Suhana that may break the joint family that they love so much.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Suhana cannot go on living in her la la land for ever, someone has to give her the reality check, and if this incident does that, it'll be great and will benefit her only.


Edited by an12345678 - 13 years ago

Originally posted by: an12345678

Someone said, they cook everyday so what is the big deal. It's the big deal when Suhaan sits in her AC room, and these two ladies do the chores without a frown, or complaining until and unless something offend them. Suhana is no longer the new bride, and she is one of them, and she does not have any kind of work or study excuse to give. In their eyes, she is part of the family and a daughter-in-law. They do not get dreams about her upbringing and the kind of life she has led. They have an idea and that is why, they have been so considerate towards her till now.

@--Anu-- : Why will bhabis be jealous of Suhana? They are married to the men they love and who love them in return, living in a family they love, they are surrounded by people who will stand-up and be there for them. They are happy. What they fear is the attitude of Suhana that may break the joint family that they love so much.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Suhana cannot go on living in her la la land for ever, someone has to give her the reality check, and if this incident does that, it'll be great and will benefit her only.

You're speaking my mind again and again, An😆....I totally concur once again! How could the bhabhis be jealous of Suhana??! For god's sake, they do so much for her....and they hardly ask for much....to expect just a little sensitivity and appreciation for all that they do is not expecting so much from Suhana....Suhana needs to come out of her cushioned spoilt brat existence....and that will happen ultimately ofcourse....but if we just want to talk of present scenario, the bhabhis are completely justified in being upset.....in general, everyone in the family goes out of their way to make Suhana comfortable....the least she can do is show some appreciation and thankfulness for when they do something like doing all this for her guests.

Originally posted by: an12345678

Someone said, they cook everyday so what is the big deal. It's the big deal when Suhaan sits in her AC room, and these two ladies do the chores without a frown, or complaining until and unless something offend them. Suhana is no longer the new bride, and she is one of them, and she does not have any kind of work or study excuse to give. In their eyes, she is part of the family and a daughter-in-law. They do not get dreams about her upbringing and the kind of life she has led. They have an idea and that is why, they have been so considerate towards her till now.

@--Anu-- : Why will bhabis be jealous of Suhana? They are married to the men they love and who love them in return, living in a family they love, they are surrounded by people who will stand-up and be there for them. They are happy. What they fear is the attitude of Suhana that may break the joint family that they love so much.

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Suhana cannot go on living in her la la land for ever, someone has to give her the reality check, and if this incident does that, it'll be great and will benefit her only.

May be I didn't explain it well. They are not really jealous of Suhana as such but they do have some sort of complex. There has been some incidences highlighting this, one time Disha mentioned to Elesh that she doesn't want Suhana to point a finger at him as he is jobless ? Why only Suhana ? Also when they put an AC in Suhana's room, it created some tension between them. One time Rajni was upset with Suhana when her daughter slept without eating her dinner.

Yes they are happy with their husbands and family but Suhana wasn't there before. They all are bahus and there is always a competition between them. Rajni and Disha are like sisters. so they don't have that issue. But with Suhana, it so much different. Until Suhana becomes one of them, issues like these will always come between them.
Edited by --Anu-- - 13 years ago

@Anu: There looks like I gave a lamba speech 😆 Your mind seems to be wandering near me, that is why my mind copying yours 😆.

"Suhana needs to come out of her cushioned spoilt brat existence....and that will happen ultimately ofcourse,"

For that to happen, someone needs to sit with her and do some straight-talking. The thought of Badi-Ma that she will realize on her own won't do.  Ishaan's burst-out like today also won't work. At the moment, she is completely aloof. Khaya, piya, soya in AC kind 😆

Originally posted by: --Anu--

May be I didn't explain it well. They are not really jealous of Suhana as such but they do have some sort of complex. There has been some incidences highlighting this, one time Disha mentioned to Elesh that she doesn't want Suhana to point a finger at him as he is jobless ? Why only Suhana ? Also when they put an AC in Suhana's room, it created some tension between them. One time Rajni was upset with Suhana when her daughter slept without eating her dinner.

Yes they are happy with their husbands and family but Suhana wasn't there before. They all are bahus and there is always a competition between them. Rajni and Disha are like sisters. so they don't have that issue. But with Suhana, it so much different. Until Suhana becomes one of them, issues like these will always come between them.

I believe, one has some kind of inferiority complex when they feel, they are not enough loved, or people do not appreciate them.  Do not think, it's the case here.

Suhana is the youngest bahu, and in Indian culture, a certain kind of respect exists between the elder brother-in-law and the youngest bahu. And, a wife won't like if that respect is not given to  her husband. 

I do not see any kind of competition, they just want that everyone is treated equally. They have made Suhana part of their lives, that is why they cooked food for her friends, but has Suhana done the same?