New FF: Ek Paal Ch6&7 pg20 Mar 1 - Page 3

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jnawaz thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#21

Originally posted by: kshreya2002

really good jaz! dutta already in love with naku...how cud he let her go just like that?😭


yaar...commenting mein kanjoosi maat karo...i look forward to them...especially from my fellow LTL crazy creatives 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭...now that ive flooded your screen...let me say...THANK YOU!! i know it was long...so thanks for reading πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ and commenting...as for letting her go...that shouldnt be the question...the question you should ask...is will he move heaven and earth to get her back πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰

Originally posted by: mayur-tasha

amazing yaar.......its awesomely rmantic  n fantastic..xctedalready.......
plz update fast...


thanks yaar...glad you enjoyed it...next part up soon πŸ˜ƒ

Originally posted by: swati2008

amazing jaz............loved it..............tasha in love........so romantic......waiting for the next part...........


thanks swati πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ...remember the romance...because...andar ki baath bataoon...you may not see some for a while πŸ˜›

JAZ

jnawaz thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#22

Originally posted by: taashamsi

hi Jaz, thanks for the PM and this FF is just awesome....loved it !!!! yummy............and i would love to try out the churros


welcome on the PM 😳...omg...you have to try churros...we make special trips to the pier just for those during the summer and even in winter he he...you should see us...in our coats and boots... (in the winter)...eating churros and frozen yogurt...and i usually get some hot chocolate πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰ best way to just stand on the pier and just watch the waves 😳

Originally posted by: meriyaar

wow, that was amazing, so much detail, it's fantastic! πŸ‘πŸΌ it's soo sweet and lovely just love the way they connected with each other.❀️ 😳😍 please continue... 😊


im a sucker for details..he he...glad you enjoyed it 😳😳...next part up soon πŸ˜ƒ

Originally posted by: betty123

gr8 jaz⭐️........i must say i luved it .............ur description is superb yar........


glad that you came back...he he...we all need time to read things...aaram se πŸ˜†πŸ˜†...next part up soon 😳😳

JAZ

jnawaz thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#23

Originally posted by: -RACHNA-

mindblowin cant wait 4 the next part


omg...your comment reminded me of the "mindblowing mahiya" song thanks for reading and commenting πŸ˜ƒ

Originally posted by: nsb416

Jaz, you have a talent for writing! I really enjoyed it, though it was a bit long. But, nonetheless, it was really very well-written. Wonderful!

P.S. LOL! I love how they just made out and then Nakusha decided to go back to Ravi to get married. hahahah if only we could all do that with beautiful strangers!


aww...thanks for the compliment yaar 😳😳...you are too sweet...lmao...i never realized it quite in that way...but yes...she made out with dutta and now is off to marry ravi...but does she? πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰ if i find a beautiful stranger...ill think about it πŸ˜›

Originally posted by: -Fivr-

Initial reaction to the post: *fans herself* *sigh* *deep breaths* *sigh some more* *enters a trance-like state for the next hour*  he he...AC ya aur fans chahiyeh toh batana πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ main leh aungi πŸ˜‰

*an hour later*

Oh. My. God. OMG. *deep breaths* *sigh* Jaz, I think I'm in love. *sigh* *dreamy-eyed look* *sigh* *realizes she's trying to post a reply* Jaz yaar this was phenomenal. WHERE do I even begin! aww...stop it...you're making me blush ☺️ and that is hard at the moment cuz as im replying FRIENDS is playing on TV πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

The sea - I cannot tell you how much I loved the fact that you used the sea as a metaphor for Nasha's ( I am so using that nickname for the duration of this FF! πŸ˜‰) internal turmoil and external poise. I really did. And even more than that I love how it was a character of it's own through out the night. I do not think either Nasha or Dutta can now ever look at the sea and not be reminded of each other. It was there when they first met, it's what they looked at for "strength" when they were telling what brought them to the pier, it was the only witness to their developing bond and it is now also the only reminder of their "parting of ways" (since they sat at a place overlooking the sea). I might be reading too much into this - but I really really loves the "sea" as a character of it's own (intended or not). the sea was not an intended character but i love the connection you made...i mean...i just used it to get the story started because i though it was a good comparison to Naku and her current situation...because i know that a few times...i've felt like that...πŸ˜•πŸ˜• calm on the inside but a mess on the inside...usually that leads to me weeping my eyes out as i listen to sobby hindi songs  πŸ˜†πŸ˜†...dont know about you...but sometimes i just need a good cry😭😭...

Their relationship started with a violation of what normal people would assume to be "personal space" - Dutta touched Nakku on her shoulder before he speaks to her. And so what happened next, I feel was the only NORMAL thing to happen for them. They maintain a pretense of "formality" if only for a few moments in time before giving into the comfort that flows so naturally between them. She hold him back and rests her head on his shoulders and he brushes her hair back and locks his fingers in hers. *sigh* Just thinking about it gives me a sense of odd peace - I told you, I'm in love! And every time they touched (regardless of the capacity) it was comfortable and familiar and it was RIGHT. There were no liberties that were taken because there were limits or boundaries set about them when the other was concerned. yes...absolutely...i mean...if i were naku...if someone came and touched me...someone i didnt know...i'd jump back and be like "wtf is your problem!?" 😑😑 but then if it was Dutta...i'd be like...😍...let me take a moment to drool πŸ˜†πŸ˜†...he he...i had to make them get right into the middle of everything...the had to be comfortable (for the most part) in order for this part to work 😳😳...there is still some jijak from Naku during the dance and stuff...but only for a moment...πŸ˜›πŸ˜›...i wanted it to make it seem like it was something they did everyday...just like you said...normal for them 😳😳😳...

Their decision to live that night to the fullest with no strings of the past or the future attached - how many of us can honestly say that we haven't wished for ONE such night?! Not me - I know I have! And if I were to ever get it, I don't think I can hope for it to be any better than THIS. To skip over the "awkward" phase of trying to impress one another and settle right into the "comfortable" phase of having known each other forever - now THAT is worth everything! OMG...yaar...you and me both...sometimes i just want to run away from it all and just go...but *sigh*...hum itne lucky thode naa hai...πŸ˜•πŸ˜•πŸ˜•...wanna know a secret...i have that "comfortable" person...the one who i can call no matter what time of day or night...if im in trouble or just need to vent...but *sigh*...you dont want to know what i did....😭😭😭...when people say "dil pe pathar rakh kaar" they do something....i totally know what they mean 😭😭

And their first night together was like a cascade of the most magical moments one could have - from being by the sea to being on the road at night to being in the air (read roller coaster) under a star-lit night to laying in the sand at the beach to dancing under the stars with the faint sound of music and the washing of the waves... *sigh* It just makes me feel so "trance-like" inside. Like I said, I'm in love! (And it's YOUR fault!) yaar...that roller coaster at the pier...the most wimpy roller coaster ever...but ill be honest...the first time i rode it...i freaked out...i cant swim and its over the water...i swore that we were gonna go plunging into the water ...sadly...i was with my older brother...πŸ˜›πŸ˜›πŸ˜›...

But what I loved the best - the best out of all of this - is that their impending "future" does not affect their feelings for each other. That is especially visible at the very end, as they bid each other good buy. They wish each other the best of life and right after they confess to being in love (most likely). And through all of this, there was no remorse or anger - there was a serene resignation to the fact that they loved each other. And there was the complete consumption of their being by that love - NOTHING else mattered or changed the fact that they loved each other. And having found that love was exponentially more important than having KEPT it. *sigh* I loved how as Nakku walked away, she smiled at the sound of Dutta bidding her good bye - she didn't cry or feel pain. She was happy. Her memories of him were a source of happiness for her - even though to me or anyone else it might seem a bit "tragic". It wasn't tragic to her (or him!) and that just makes me *sigh* some more. *sigh* yes...that was the deal naa...they have no past...no future...all they have is this night...these moments...thats it...it was love at first sight...but as responsible, mature adults...they didnt let themselves get carried away by emotions...i played it off as if it was me...because i feel that i'd do the same..i'd do what was RIGHT and not what i wanted or what i felt ...you are right...finding it was more important...with so many peoples happiness and hopes in the balance...to keep it would have been selfish...and neither Dutta nor Naku are selfish πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰...

I don't know how this FF will progress, but I am in love with the Prologue. It's a story in itself and if you'd ended the FF here I think it would have been one my favorites. (Not that I won't like it now that you've continued on - just trying to let you know how much I like the Prologue in itself). *sigh*  when i did it for Jai and Bani...it was a one parter...it ended with an epilogue were the run into each other years later at an airport..."happily" married...with kids...if i did that for TaSha...then Naku would have ended up with a daughter named Krishna (like Dutta wanted) and Dutta would have ended up with a little "nasha" of his own 😳😳


P.S. THIS was written on Premeer? OMG! I can SO see it! Prem coming over to Heer when she was crying (at the beach or at the Shiv Mandir, kya farak parhta hai! πŸ˜ƒ) and them having this experience?! I can absolutely see it! The dance reminded me of the Heer-imagining-Prem-when-he-was-dead dance - was it at all inspired from there? And the protagonists rolling up his shirt sleeves to get "casual"? LOL!! Estee would have loved that! Absolutely Prem! πŸ˜† This was a very trademark Premeer FF - I can "see" them in everything if I read it with them in mind. But for right now, I love it as Nasha-Dutta FF too! πŸ˜ƒ dude...text itni choti kaise hogayi πŸ˜†πŸ˜†,,,yes...it was good on premeer...especially cuz as i did it...i could total picture their signature background music 😳😳



JAZ
TheRager thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#24
JAZ...JAZ...dont! dont do an epilouge. continue with the FF.
jnawaz thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#25
^^ aare yaar...dont worry...this ff does have an epilogue...but...much later...you have abbout 16 or 17 parts to read before that...he he...

JAZ

-Fivr- thumbnail
Anniversary 17 Thumbnail Group Promotion 6 Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 14 years ago
#26
@Jaz: I am going to reply to your reply for my reply to your post as soon as I get time so don't think I forgot - How's that for a tongue twister! 🀣
jnawaz thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#27
^ he he...it sure is...i had to read it twice just to make sure i read it right...lol...ill be posting part 1 in the next few hours...

JAZ

jnawaz thumbnail
Posted: 14 years ago
#28
hey guys...here is Chapter 1 of the ff...enjoy...shabz...stop with the dhamkis yaar...what is this ...daara ke rakh diya mujhe πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰ he he...j/k....hope you guys like it...looking forward to (longer) comments πŸ˜›πŸ˜›πŸ˜›...just fyi...if you read the beginning and ending lyrics...it will round out the ff for you πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‰

Chapter 1

Kuch Saal Pehle

 

Kuch saal pehle doston yeh baat hui thi

Humko bhi mohabbat kisi ke saath hui thi

Apni bhi kabhi pehli mulaqaat hui thi

Humko bhi mohabbat kisi ke saath hui thi

Kuch saal pehle doston yeh baat hui thi

Humko bhi mohabbat kisi ke saath hui thi

 

Nearly Four Years Later:

 

London, England

 

The sky was covered with a dark layer of heavy clouds, threatening to release a heavy down pour of rain onto the unsuspecting city below. The usually busy, lively and crowded city was now abandoned, silent and peaceful. The businesses all closed down, the streets empty except for a few cars and people here and there and a few street lights illuminating the roads. Of course this was not unusual being that it was two o' cock in the morning.

 

In the distance stood a tall, magnificent twenty story, glass building; it too was dark and isolated. All of its daily inhabitants had gone home long ago, only the security staff remained in the lobby level. However, on the top floor there burned one light that had not gone out; a light that still burned bright and shined like a star against the dark night's sky. The building held a sign that stated it was Obsession Hotels Pvt. Ltd. and the office that still had its lights at this time of night belonged to the owner and CEO of Obsession Hotels, Mr. Dutta Patil.  

 

The office was exquisitely decorated to suit the taste of its inhabitant. It was large, almost the size of an entire apartment complex on its own. In one corner there was a set of large, plush, leather sofas accented with throw pillows. In another corner there was a small bar that held many brands of the sinful liquid for when delegates held meeting in the office. In the middle of the room was a large cherry oak table, with professional yet comfortable black leather chairs on both sides of it. The best part of the office was the wall to wall glass in the back that over looked the city; it was a spectacular view.

 

Dutta looked up at the clock on his office wall to see that it was quarter past two in the morning. He ran his hand through is already ruffled, unruly hair and thought what a sight he must be. His Armani coat was lying carelessly on the arm of the large sofa, his tie near it on the glass table in front, his once crisp white shirt had its top three buttons undone and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. If anyone walked in right now they would think he was an imposter; no way the CEO of any company looks like this.

 

 

He really didn't care what people thought about him, all he cared about is what the people he loved thought about him, all else be damned. He was burning the midnight oil for a presentation that was due in two days. Obsession Hotels was one of the top companies in its field, few rivaled them; but it was Dutta's goal to make sure his company reached the absolute top of that list. If they could get this contract, it would send him and his company to heights that they had never imagined. Getting this contract meant more then he cared to admit, not for professional reasons, but for personal reasons.

 

Dutta stretched out and turned his chair so that I faced the glass wall over looking the city. His eyes fell on a taxi which appeared to get a customer. He tried and failed to locate the moon and stars on such an over cast night. He leaned back and closed his eyes as he took in a deep breath releasing himself to temptation ' with his eyes closed'she invaded his thoughts.

 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

 

Panorama City, California:

 

The California weather had really been acting up lately - if it was cold one day, it was hot enough to head to the beach the next day - but, that was California for you'unpredictable. Not only was the weather unpredictable, but life was unpredictable. On this day the sun was out but it had no force, there was no warmth radiating from it. It was a cold crisp day with a chilling breeze blowing across the city. It didn't feel so much as the middle of the day, as it did the beginning for a cold front.

 

A woman sat quietly wrapped in an old worn out shawl that provided very little warmth. Even if the shawl had provided with sufficient warmth, it would never be enough. How do you warm something that is cold from the inside out? She sat on the only lounge chair that stood in her meek balcony, surrounded by lush potted plants and a few wind chimes. It was a very small and almost useless balcony, but for her, it was her sanctuary'it was the only place where she found peace.

 

Her life had not turned out the way she had thought it would have. She had expected to have children, a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence, taking turns carpooling with the neighborhood children to school, baking cup-cakes for the yearly PTA fundraisers. More then anything else, she had expected to have a companion by her side - one that treated her with love, respect and affection.  

 

She had dreamed of getting her Masters degree from USC in Business Management and opening up her very own business. She had planned everything out, every little detail, and for a while even she thought that her life may just work out the way that she had wanted it. Her dreams, however, stayed just that, dreams'which had all shattered away years ago. 

 

Her parents had been involved in an accident that left them both as quadriplegics. With her younger sister still in school and her parents needing round-the-clock assistance, she had to put her life aside for them; not that her life had been all peaches-n-cream to begin with. She worked two, sometimes three jobs at a time to keep up to date on everything.

 

She paid for her parents to live in a nursing home so they would have the nursing care that they needed, she paid for her sister continuing education, and she paid rent, utilities, car insurance, cell Phone and what seemed like hundreds of other bills. She was on the go almost 24/7 because she had no other choice. She tried to enjoy as much free time as she could, like she was doing this particular day; enjoy it before it is gone or destroyed'that was her motto.

 

She had made someone a promise to try and be happy, but happiness was something that she had not experienced in a long time. You had to have an opportunity to be happy, you need people in our life to keep you happy'she had no one. There was no one there to help her bring her groceries up from the car, no one to see that her feet ached after standing for 10 hours straight on the job, no one to share a joke with or a nice conversation with; what hurt the most was that there was no one there to comfort her and wipe away her tears when the fell from her eyes, no one to see that she was hurting'everyday.

 

She could clearly remember the last time she had been happy'really happy. A faint smile played on her lips as she remembered the last time that special someone had called her 'Nasha'. She leaned back on the chair, her arms wrapped around her cold body, she closed her eyes and thought about a special moment in her life, the only special moment in her life she could recall. With her eyes closed, she breathed in the crisp cool air as memories invaded her mind and heart'as he invaded her mind and heart.

  Yaadein
Yeh jeevan dil jaani, dariya ka hai paani
Paani to beh jaaye, baaqi kya reh jaaye
Yaadein, yaadein, yaadein
Nagme hain, shikwe hain
Kisse hain, baatein hain
Baatein bhool jaati hain
Yaadein yaad aati hain
Yeh yaadein kisi dil-o-jaanam ke
Chal jaane ke baad aati hain
Yaadein, yaadein, yaadein

JAZ

 


Edited by jnawaz - 14 years ago
Dew-drop thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#29
Jazzie u updated when i logged off...*angry*
i had 2 cum online 4rm cell ...
Gosh ..i will hav to w8 till 2mrw nw 2 read & comment..*sad*
meriyaar thumbnail
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Posted: 14 years ago
#30
plz keep updating! It was amazing, do tasha meet again, how r they gonna meet? Ur ff is better than the show, theres no typical rhona dona its a perfect piece of writting. :D